As she lay spent and gasping, he slowly nuzzled his way up her dew-slicked body and settled his mouth over hers. The effect was stunning. As she tasted his lips for the first time, as she accepted the first thrust of his tongue, the salty tang of her own passion flavored their first-ever kiss.
He kissed her with deep thoroughness, as if to brand the moment into her mind forever. Then he lifted his head. “Don’t go away.”
She gave him a lazy smile. “Couldn’t. I think you’ve nailed me to the bed.”
“Nope. That comes next.”
He undressed with economical movements and without a speck of vanity. He had a right to be vain if he’d wanted to, she thought Except for a ragged purple scar on his chest, a scar nearly covered by dark, curly hair, he was perfect. The strong upper body of a professional blacksmith narrowed to the slim hips of a seasoned cowboy. He was solidly aroused, and without embarrassment he took a condom out of his jeans pocket and put it on.
When the task was finished, he glanced at her. “Think that’ll do?”
“Come here and let’s find out” She’d never met a man so easy with his sexuality and hers, a man who openly enjoyed every moment in the joining of a man and woman. This was a cowboy who’d wake up next to you in the morning and want to start right in again. Good thing she didn’t have classes she’d have to cut tomorrow. Maybe she could find someone to work her shift at the Roundup, too. Steve had said Russ was leaving on Sunday. If she had her way, he wouldn’t leave her bed until then.
RUSS HAD SERIOUSLY miscalculated. He’d figured on having a good time tonight, but he hadn’t figured on losing his mind and going plum crazy over the woman. Jo was sweeter and more ready for love than he’d imagined in his wildest dreams, and doggone if he wasn’t getting ideas he had no right having.
He’d be better off leaving now, but he wasn’t strong enough to go without sinking into her heat at least once. He desperately needed to relieve the ache he’d been nursing ever since they left the bar, and he didn’t know many men who could turn away from the sight of Jo lying there with her clothes mostly off and heaven in her smoky green eyes. It was a dangerous business, though, climbing into her bed and wondering if he’d have the good sense to climb out again when the party was over.
He gazed down at her, knowing this picture would stay with him a long time. “Whoever undressed you didn’t do much of a job.”
“That’s your opinion.” Her voice was bedroom low, rich with the love they’d been making and the love yet to make.
He put his knee on the bed and eased away the shorts and panties still wound around her creamy thigh. “For the next little while, I don’t want nothin’ between your legs but me.”
“I’d say that’s more than enough, cowboy.”
He moved over her and faced the fact he was trembling with need. That wasn’t good. He’d hold off a while and prove to himself he was still in control of the situation. As he gazed into her eyes, a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach warned that he was in bigger trouble than he’d thought.
She lifted her soft hands and cupped his face. God help him, he loved her gentle touch, loved the look in her eyes, all hot and eager for what was to come. He turned his head and kissed her palm. Then he kissed his way down the inside of her arm, his pulse hammering as he moved across her shoulder and finally took her mouth with his.
A kiss wasn’t supposed to be like this, he thought. It was only a means to an end, not an end itself. But he didn’t remember any woman’s mouth fitting quite so perfectly as Jo’s, or being quite as soft, or tasting quite as good. He could get addicted to kissing her. He forced himself to lift his head and end the kiss, but then her lashes fluttered open, and there he was looking into the flames again.
She slid her hands down his back and took hold of his hips. Her slow smile was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. “I think you promised—” She urged him closer and arched upward. “—to nail me to the bed.”
With a groan he gave up his sanity and slid in deep. His chest tightened and his eyes burned as he realized that this was it. Damned if this feeling wasn’t exactly what love songs were all about. He’d decided the songs were just make-believe, because in all the times he’d been inside a woman, he’d never known this rightness, this sense of coming home. But he was there now, no matter how little he deserved to be. With luck, what was going on inside him was purely one-sided, and Jo felt nothing but physical enjoyment.
He closed his eyes and concentrated on giving her exactly that. Afterward, he’d get the hell out of her life before he started expecting things he had no right to.
“I like it when you look at me,” she murmured.
He liked that, too. Way too much. Reluctantly, aware of the risk to his heart, he opened his eyes as he moved slowly within her.
Her gaze was soft and her lips parted as she took in quick, shallow breaths. He kissed her again. Couldn’t help it. Couldn’t help any of the emotions tumbling around in his chest as his mouth absorbed her low moan of pleasure.
As he continued to kiss her, he maintained a steady rhythm designed to make her climax, and he used every mental trick in the book to keep from exploding first. If this was the first and last time he’d love her like this, he wanted it to be damn near perfect He quivered from the effort, and their bodies grew slippery with sweat. Burying himself again and again in her warmth, he felt at last the tightening as she dug her fingers into his back. He lifted his lips from hers to watch her eyes darken and her cheeks flush.
“Oh...Russ.”
The sound of his name, spoken almost with reverence, went through him like a bolt of lightning. He’d never known such joy while giving a woman pleasure. Words, crazy words, spun through his mind, but he had just enough control left to hold them back. “Enjoyin’ yourself, darlin’?” He’d deliberately avoided calling her by name all evening. It was his way of keeping his distance and making the women blend together.
“Yes...yes!” Her eyes grew wide as she arched upward, abandoning herself to the wildness deep inside.
That did it He poured himself into her in the most shattering orgasm of his life. And dimly he heard himself groan out the name he’d been so careful not to say. Jo.
JO AWOKE in the darkened bedroom, aware that Russ’s arms were no longer around her as they had been when she’d drifted into a satisfied, deep sleep. In fact, he wasn’t in the bed anymore. The luminous dial on the nightstand clock said it was almost three in the morning.
She lay still and listened for any indication he was still in the apartment. The total quiet suggested he was gone. His clothes were no longer scattered over her bedroom floor, and the living-room light they’d left burning was turned off. But she was so unwilling to believe that he’d abandon her without a word that she got up, wrapped the quilt from the bed around her and started a search.
Nothing. Not even a note. She couldn’t believe it. A man who treated a woman with such tenderness and passion had to be more sensitive than to leave her in the middle of the night without a word. She’d looked into his eyes when they’d made love and she’d seen the caring expression there. And most of all, she’d heard the emotion he’d poured into saying her name when he’d finally given himself up to a climax.
She hadn’t expected him to pledge undying love. That was exactly the sort of awkwardness she hadn’t wanted and the reason she’d instinctively been drawn to a man like Russ. Neither of them had been looking to start a committed relationship on the basis of one night of passion.
But she had expected him to stick around for breakfast. He had no transportation, either, so he’d either hitched or walked back to the ranch. Walked, most likely, considering not many people would be out driving around in the middle of the night picking up hitchhikers. Cowboys hated few things more than hoofing it. He must have been mighty eager to get home if he’d walked the distance from her apartment to the ranch.
Wandering back into the bedroom, Jo flopped onto the mattress and stared at the ceiling.
Nothing made sense. He’d been more than willing to spend the night with her, and he didn’t seem like the type who lost interest the minute he’d scored. They’d had a memorable time, one that she’d hoped might be extended a little longer. She hadn’t scared him off with talk about love everlasting, so what the hell was his problem?
She’d find out, somehow. She’d have to swallow her pride to question Steve about his brother’s whereabouts, but her pride wasn’t in wonderful shape at the moment, anyway. Doggone it. She swallowed a lump in her throat. In trying to erase a bad memory from this particular night, she’d gone and made things worse.
4
EARLY THE NEXT MORNING Russ followed the steady sound of a pitchfork tossing straw out of a stall and found Steve working in the barn.
Steve glanced up. “Well, did you take some of the brag out of Dusty last night?”
Russ hated what was coming, but it was time to pay up for what he’d done. “I let him win.”
Steve stopped mucking out the stall and leaned on the pitchfork. “You don’t say?” His eyes narrowed in speculation. “That must have been a painful ride home, listening to him carry on,” he said slowly.
Russ held his ground and met his brother’s stare.
“You might as well hear this from me as from someone else. I didn’t ride home with Dusty. I went home with Jo.”
Steve gazed at him in silence. Finally he shoved his hat back and sighed. “I shoulda never left you there.”
“Probably not.”
“I didn’t hear no truck this mornin’. How’d you get home?”
“Walked.”
Steve tossed the pitchfork down and clenched his fists. “You walked? What in hell did you do that made her mad enough to let you walk home?”
“She wasn’t mad, at least not when I left. She was asleep.”
“Good God. You snuck out on her?”
Russ welcomed Steve’s anger. He deserved it, considering how Jo must be feeling this morning. “You were right about her, big brother. She’s one terrific lady. Leavin’ her was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life, but I had to.”
“I want to know why you had to go home with her in the first place. You shoulda known it would turn out like this.”
Guilt hammered him. “It was stupid, but that’s no surprise, coming from me. I thought I could just have a good time with her, and I didn’t realize... The thing is, she seemed to need...oh, hell, never mind. I called Ned just now. I’m catching a ride to Phoenix with him and Sharon and I’ll get a bus from there.”
“Just like that. No explanation to Jo.”
Russ clenched his jaw. “There’s only one thing I could tell her, and I don’t plan to get into all that. So the only solution is to disappear. Better to hurt her a little bit now instead of making things worse later.”
“Oh, I get it. You think what happened with Sarah gives you the right to act like a smelly pile of cow chips.”
“No, dammit.” He jammed his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “What happened with Sarah gives me no rights at all when it comes to a woman like Jo. Jo is the most loving, kind, sweet...” He sputtered to a stop, knowing he’d said way too much.
Steve’s expression softened a little. “She got to you, didn’t she?”
Russ could face Steve’s anger this morning, but not his kindness. He turned away.
“Don’t leave today, little brother. Let me drive you back to Jo’s house. Talk this thing out. Tell her about the devils chasin’ you.”
“No way.”
“Look, you’ve got this thing all twisted up in your head. What happened with Sarah was terrible. But closin’ yourself off from life and thinking you can’t ever get serious about another woman ain’t gonna make it right again. It’s the worst thing you can do, if you want to know.”
Russ swung back to him. “Oh, that’s real easy for you to say! You weren’t on that road to Cloudcroft, now, were you? You didn’t see what your little brother did to a beautiful, loving, innocent young woman!”
Steve regarded him quietly. “No, I wasn’t there. But I’m here to see what you’re doin’ to yourself, and it’s a sin. Somebody like Jo Cassidy just might be able to drag you back from that hell you live in, if you’d give her a chance.”
A wave of longing washed over him, but he let it pass before he spoke again. “It’s not happening. I’m going to do Jo a favor and never see her again. I’d appreciate it if you’d tell Claire goodbye for me. If I know Claire, she’ll be full of questions I don’t want to answer.”
“What do you want me to tell Jo? You know she’s gonna ask about you the next time I go to the Roundup.”
Russ hadn’t thought about that “You’re not going to say anything about Sarah, are you?”
“I promised you I wouldn’t the day you came back from New Mexico. That promise still stands.”
“Then tell her...” He paused and cursed softly to himself. Anything he really wanted to say to soothe the hurt he’d caused would only give her hope. And there was no hope. “Don’t tell her anything. Just say your no-account brother took off, and it’s a good thing for her that he did. You can go on like that all you want You know the drill.”
Steve pulled his hat back down over his eyes and picked up the pitchfork. “You comin’ back for Christmas? Claire would sure like it if you would.”
“You don’t need me around at Christmas.”
“You never know.” Steve’s tone was casual as he shoved the pitchfork into the straw. “Then again, you might need us.”
“The only thing I need at Christmas is a bottle of tequila and a shot glass.”
“You’ve tried that, and I’ll bet all you ended up with was a hat that was a size too small the next mornin’. Why not give a family Christmas a chance this year?”
“Don’t plan on it.”
“Just remember, the invitation stands.”
“Thanks.” Russ headed out of the barn, but he turned back at the door. “And thanks for...for puttin’ up with me.”
“You’re my brother. Simple as that.”
Russ left the barn, a lump in his throat. He wished he could be as good a brother to Steve as Steve was to him.
Somebody like Steve was the kind of guy Jo deserved. With luck, she’d find a good man and forget all about last night. Unfortunately for him, last night would probably stay with him forever.
THAT NIGHT at the Roundup Jo glanced nervously at the door each time a new group of cowboys came in. Finally, Steve showed up, followed closely by Ned. Jo’s heart beat faster as she anticipated seeing Russ amble in after Ned. After all, he wasn’t scheduled to leave until Sunday. She was prepared for him to appear as if nothing had happened, joking and laughing as if he hadn’t pulled a cowardly disappearing act after getting up close and really personal with her. She wouldn’t let him get away with that for a minute.
He didn’t come in joking and laughing. He didn’t come in at all.
Jo’s first panicked thought that something had happened to Russ evaporated as she took note of Steve and Ned’s behavior. If something terrible had happened, Steve and Ned wouldn’t be acting so normal. In fact, they wouldn’t be in here having a drink at all.
Grabbing a tray, she forced herself not to hurry as she went to their table. “Evening, gentlemen. A couple of the usual?”
Steve glanced up at her with a wary smile. “That’d be fine, Jo.”
A hollow feeling grew in the pit of her stomach. “I guess Russ must be busy tonight.”
Steve looked unhappy. “I’m sorry, Jo. Russ left for Tucson this mornin’.”
Gone. She should have been prepared for it, but she wasn’t. The news hurt and hurt bad.
“I’m the varmint who drove him down to catch the bus in Phoenix,” Ned said, looking equally miserable. “If I’da knowed what he was up to, I wouldn’t’ve taken him.”
She tried to believe this wasn’t as bad as it seemed. “Did he...give you any message for me?”
St
eve cleared his throat. “No. Sorry.”
She was surprised at how much pain landed on her heart She hadn’t been looking for more than an exciting evening to take her mind off Tommy, so it made no sense to be upset. But she kept remembering the tender expression on Russ’s face as he’d moved deep inside her. She remembered the look in his eyes, as if she meant a lot more to him than one night of sexual release. Apparently she’d put too much importance on that look. It seemed Russ Gibson had an angel’s touch and a devil’s soul.
Steve put his hand on her arm. “Listen, Jo, I love my brother, but he’s treatin’ you terrible. I figured this could happen, although I always hold out the hope that someday... Anyway, it’s not you that’s the problem. It’s him. He...scares real easy.”
Her jaw tensed as anger replaced hurt. “I did absolutely nothing to scare him. I’m not looking to tie somebody down, or make demands. So, as far as I’m concerned, he and his precious fears can taking a flying leap.” My God, she was blinking back tears. This was terrible. Russ was nothing to her. Nothing at all. “I’ll get you your drinks,” she said quickly, turning away.
Steve caught her arm. “Look, I’ll go down to Tucson and drag his sorry ass back here so he can apologize for being a jerk.”
“Yeah, and I’ll help you,” Ned added. “He shouldn’t have gone off like that, leaving you to wonder what’s goin’ on. It ain’t right.”
“Please don’t go after him,” she said. “If that’s the way he wants things to be between us, that’s how they’ll be. I’ve never chased after a man in my life and I’m not fixing to do it now.”
Steve squeezed her arm. “I’m sorry, Jo. Sorrier than I can say.”
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