She looked startled. “No, I’m not. But where did that come from?”
He let out his breath in a whoosh of relief. “The way you started talkin’ about your grandchildren, I thought maybe the process was already started. Though I can’t imagine how he’d have accomplished it, as little as he’s—”
“Well, I’m not pregnant.”
“Good. Because once a baby comes along, it’s hard to split the sheets. I’d be careful if I was you.”
They reached the sleigh and she turned to him. “You’re really worried about me, aren’t you?”
“Naturally. You’re a sweet-lovin’ woman, and I’d like to see you settled real nice.” He couldn’t admit how her marriage had affected him, as if a mule had kicked him in the gut.
Even though he had nothing to offer and wouldn’t have dreamed of asking her to marry him, it drove him crazy to think of her married to someone else. Now that he knew the guy was a low-down skunk, he was determined to see them separated. If they did split, he still ought to stay the hell away from her, so it was more for her sake than his that he wanted the breakup. At least that’s what he kept telling himself.
“I’m touched, Russ. I really am. You have a tender heart. And you know, considering that, I keep wondering how it is that...”
“What?”
“Nothing. I promised I wouldn’t pester you.”
So they were back to that. And as long as they were, he had to ask one last question of his own. It made him nervous to ask it, and he tapped his hat against his thigh in agitation. “Okay, I need the answer to a question, myself. My leavin’ in the middle of the night—did that have anything at all to do with you running off and marryin’ that guy so quick?”
She gazed at him, her eyes reflecting the starlight above her, her voice soft as the night. “What do you think?”
He groaned. “Damnation. I was afraid of that.”
“It hurt when you left, Russ.”
“I know.” Damn, he thought. Damn, damn, damn. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you to do something like this. I feel terrible.”
“You know what? I wish you’d kiss me,” she murmured. “Just once, for old time’s sake. Pretend we’re under the mistletoe.”
He tossed his hat to the seat of the sleigh. Then he gathered her gently into his arms, meaning to give her a kiss of apology.
“I’m truly sorry, Jo,” he said quietly, brushing his lips over hers. “So sorry, honey.”
She whimpered and pulled him closer.
He hadn’t intended it to become that kind of kiss. He tried to keep things civilized, but finally control went out the window as he met the heat and hunger of her mouth. If she’d been sizzling the first night they’d made love, she was a raging fire tonight.
Before he knew it, he’d thrust his tongue deep and started unbuttoning her coat. It took him seconds to reach inside, pull up her sweatshirt and start unsnapping the front of her long underwear. He didn’t realize what he was doing until he cupped her bare breast and she moaned and pressed her nipple against his palm.
He pulled his hand out as if he’d touched a stove burner, whirled and braced both arms against the sleigh.
“Button up,” he said, breathing hard.
“Russ—”
“I helped get you into this fix, and I feel bad about that. But making love to you now won’t set anything right, no matter how much we want each other. I won’t step out of line again. But I’m beggin’ you, Jo, tell that no-account husband of yours to take a hike. You’re not in love with him. Not when you can kiss me like that.”
“You’re right.” She sounded out of breath. “I’m not in love with him.”
Are you in love with me? He didn’t have the right to ask the question and didn’t really want to know the answer. The hell he didn’t.
“Who’s...who’s next on the list?” she asked.
He reached in his jacket pocket, pulled out the water-stained piece of paper and handed it to her without turning around. He wasn’t quite ready to face her yet. One look into those big eyes of hers and he might just haul her back into his arms. In a minute he’d be stronger. He had to be.
“The name’s—” She paused and cleared her throat. “The name’s kind of washed away, but it looks like the next person gets a hand-crocheted baby blanket. Does that mean anything to you?”
“Yep. Elaine Overton.”
“I think I know her.” Her voice was steadier now. “She took a class at Yavapai, but as I remember, she couldn’t finish it because of the baby.”
“And there were other reasons, too, accordin’ to Claire. I was thinkin’ about Elaine when I warned you not to get pregnant.” He gazed up at the cold light of the stars. “Her husband left about two months before the baby came, so now raisin’ the little one will be up to her.”
“That’s terrible.”
“Claire thought so, too. She crocheted the blanket, figuring something handmade would cheer Elaine up and keep the baby warm all at the same time.”
“What a wonderful idea.” She touched him on the arm. “Ready to go?”
He took a deep breath. “Yep.”
She climbed into the sleigh and he resisted the impulse to help her up. He reached in the back and tossed her another blanket. “Bundle up good. We gotta make time, so I’m giving ol’ Blackie his head.” After taking some more carrots to the patient horse, he swung up beside Jo. “Time to dash away, dash away all.” He slapped the reins on Blackie’s rump and soon they were whizzing down the snowy street.
“I didn’t think you’d know that poem,” Jo said.
“Which one?”
’“Twas the Night Before Christmas.’”
“I know it. And I can sing most all the carols if I’ve a mind to. I just don’t have a mind to.”
“Then maybe I will, if that’s okay.”
“Go right ahead. Blackie, he likes singing.”
“How about Russ?”
“He don’t mind it, neither.”
“Okay. Then I might as well start with ‘jingle Bells.’”
She sang with enthusiasm and she had a real pleasing voice, in Russ’s opinion. The song lifted his spirits and brought a smile, in spite of himself.
“How’s that?” she asked, turning to him.
“Real nice. Do you know ’What Child Is This?’”
“Of course. It’s one of my favorites.” She glanced at him. “You’re welcome to join in.”
“I like listenin’ to you.” In fact, he couldn’t help thinking, as they whipped through the cold, clear night, that it would be a blessing to live in the same house with a woman who enjoyed singing. He wondered if she’d ever done that with her husband around, and if he had the brains to appreciate it.
CHRISTMAS CAROLS had never seemed to hold such meaning as they did tonight, Jo thought. Steve and Claire were onto something, giving out surprise presents all around town. She wondered if Russ would go along next year, now that he realized how much fun it was. Of course, they wouldn’t need her, much as she’d love to be in on it again.
Lights were on in the tiny bungalow where Elaine and her baby lived. A small tree perched on a table in the front window, and a pine-bough wreath, obviously homemade, hung on the door.
Russ stopped the sleigh and hopped down. He offered Jo a hand, but he let go as soon as her feet touched ground, as if to make sure their brief touch didn’t become more. Reaching in the back, he pulled out the gaily wrapped package tied with a red bow and a rattle. Even before they reached the door, they could hear the wail of a baby.
“Sounds like Elaine has her hands full tonight,” Jo said. “She doesn’t have any folks nearby?”
“They’re in Texas, and didn’t think she shoulda married the guy. Claire says Elaine’s too proud to tell them what happened.” He rang the doorbell.
“Oh.” Jo understood that kind of pride far too well. “Poor woman.”
Elaine peeked out the window.
Then she hurried to open
the door, the baby squirming and crying against her shoulder. “Goodness, if it isn’t Russ Gibson! Come right in. And Jo Cassidy, is that you? Remember me from folklore class?
“I sure do.”
“Merry Christmas, Elaine,” Russ said. “We brought you a little something. It’s for Amanda, really.”
Despite the baby’s crying, her expression brightened. “A Christmas gift for us? Oh, you didn’t have to do that!” She closed the door and jiggled the baby. “Shush, now, Amanda. We have company. We have—” She smiled at Russ. “We have Santa paying us a visit.”
The baby kept crying.
“We’re filling in for Steve and Claire,” Russ said, unzipping his jacket with one hand as he held the package in the other. “They took sick all of a sudden.”
“Did you come in a sleigh?” She eyed the bright package with obvious delight as she rocked the baby back and forth. The wailing continued. “I could have sworn there was a sleigh parked out front, but maybe I was seeing things.”
“It’s a sleigh,” Jo said. “We’re having a great time riding around passing out the things Steve and Claire gathered together.”
“It sounds wonderful.” Elaine’s cheer slipped a little. “It sounds—” She began to sniffle. “Oh, dear. Excuse me.” She turned away.
Russ looked at Jo, his expression pleading.
She could have gone over to comfort Elaine and the baby, as she had with Lucile. But this was his gig, not hers. She took the package from him and tipped her head toward Elaine.
He took a deep breath and walked over to put his hand on Elaine’s trembling shoulder. “Let me take that little one for a minute. You look like you could use a break.”
“Oh, no, Russ.” Elaine’s voice was weak and fluttery. “She’s so fussy tonight. I think it’s a touch of colic. I couldn’t ask—”
“You didn’t. I offered.” He reached down and gently lifted the crying baby from Elaine’s arms. “Hey, there, Amanda. What’s your problem, sweetheart? A little tummyache?” He cradled the baby against his shirt and began to amble around the room, talking to her in a low tone.
Gradually the wailing turned to whimpers, then a few hiccups, then blissful silence as Amanda snuggled in, her face against the sheepskin lining of Russ’s jacket
Elaine sagged against a nearby chair. “Goodness. She’s been crying all night, it seems. I don’t know how you did that, Russ.”
Jo was pretty impressed, herself. If she thought about it, though, his way with babies fit with everything else she was learning about him. Natural kindness and empathy had a way of soothing animals and people alike.
“Maybe it was the sound of a different voice,” Russ said. “She had to stop and listen to figure out who this joker was who had ahold of her.”
“Whatever it was, I’m so grateful. Would you like a cup of tea or something?”
“Sure,” Jo said, glancing at Russ. “I’ll help.” She figured Elaine needed the tea as much as anyone.
He nodded and kept murmuring to the baby, whose delicate eyelids were drifting closed.
Jo gazed at him for a moment before laying the present under the tree and following Elaine into the kitchen. He probably didn’t even like tea, she thought, yet he understood they were needed here for a while longer. He looked so darned sweet holding the baby that tenderness brought a lump to Jo’s throat.
“The tea’s in the second cupboard,” Elaine said, putting the water on to heat. “I have a couple of kinds.”
“Amanda’s beautiful.” Jo took the tea boxes from the cupboard.
“When she’s not screaming, she certainly is.” Elaine brought down three mugs and arranged several tea bags in a little bowl. “But sometimes I just don’t know what to do.”
“It must be very hard.”
Elaine met her gaze. “I won’t kid you. Not having her father around to help isn’t easy.” She hesitated. “This is probably none of my business, but I thought you were married, too. Did he—”
“Leave?” Jo discovered she had no interest in making up more stories. They’d begun to sound wrong. “In a way.”
“Oh, honey, I’m sorry.” Elaine gave her a quick hug. “Men can be bastards, can’t they?”
“Some of them.”
“But those Gibson boys are A-number-one. I don’t know Russ very well, but he seems to be every bit as terrific as his brother.”
“He’s a lot different from Steve, that’s for sure.”
“And just between us, a lot cuter. Are you two involved?”
“No. We’re, uh, just friends. He seemed to need some help tonight, and I didn’t want to spend Christmas Eve alone, so I came along.”
“Not too many men can quiet a baby like that.” Elaine took the teakettle off the stove and picked up some napkins from a holder on the counter. “If your husband has taken off, I wouldn’t turn my back on somebody like Russ.”
“According to Steve, Russ isn’t interested in settling down with one woman.”
“Ah.” Elaine nodded. “I figured there had to be something wrong with such a perfect guy. Well, then, you don’t need him, no matter how great he looks or how good he is with babies. I’m through with trying to change a guy’s mind about commitment. That’s how I got into this fix.”
“No kidding. I’m going to be very careful from now on.”
“Yeah. Just treat him the way guys treat us. Have fun but don’t lose your heart.”
“Elaine, that’s probably the best advice I’ve had in a long time.” Jo hoped she could follow it. The longer she was around Russ, the less she felt in possession of her heart.
“If you’ll bring the mugs and teabags, we’ll take this in by the tree,” Elaine said. “You know, I’m beginning to feel as if it’s Christmas, after all!”
9
JO WATCHED with amusement as Russ sat in a rocking chair holding a mug of raspberry-orange decaf tea with one hand while cradling the sleeping baby in his other arm. She’d bet he was sweating under the jacket, but nobody dared ease him out of it because Amanda’s cheek was resting firmly against the sheepskin.
“Shall I open the present now or in the morning?” Elaine asked.
“That’s up to you,” Russ said as he rocked gently back and forth.
“Back home we always opened presents on Christmas Eve,” Elaine said.
Jo glanced toward the tree, where five gifts, including the one they’d brought, lay under its meager branches. For decorations Elaine had pasted together a construction-paper chain, strung popcorn and cranberries, and spray-painted pinecones in an obvious attempt to decorate without spending much money.
“The gifts are mostly for Amanda,” Elaine said. “One’s for Bill and me, and I almost put it away because it makes me mad to look at it, but more packages seemed more festive, so I left it there.” She glanced at Jo and Russ. “Would you mind if I opened everything now? This is probably the biggest celebration I’ll have.”
“Go right ahead,” Jo said. “In fact, stay right there and I’ll bring them to you.” She set down her mug and walked over to the tree to gather up the gifts.
Elaine sank back against the sofa cushions with her mug of tea. “You can’t imagine how much this means to me. I’m feeling positively pampered.”
“It’s Christmas,” Jo said, handing her the small stack of presents. “You should feel pampered.”
“I’ll save Steve and Claire’s for last.” Elaine opened a package from her sister containing bibs for Amanda, another that was a small teddy bear from her brother, and a larger package that turned out to be a colorful crib-mobile from her parents. “They wanted to drive out here sometime during Christmas,” she said, lining up the presents on the coffee table. “But I haven’t told them about Bill leaving, so I talked them out of it.”
“I can understand that,” Jo said. She couldn’t very well lecture somebody about truthfulness, and Russ didn’t seem inclined to offer any advice to Elaine, either.
“Guess I’ll open the one for Bill and
me.”
“Just forget his name’s on it,” Jo said.
“That’s a good idea.” Elaine slipped her finger under the tape so the paper wouldn’t tear as she unwrapped a five-by-seven picture frame. “it’s...oh, my. It’s of my parents.” She held it out in front of her for a moment before clutching it to her chest, her eyes swimming. “I miss them something awful. But I’m afraid they’ll say I told you so if they find out the truth. They were really against my marrying Bill.”
Jo put a hand on her arm. “Maybe you could call and say you were thinking of breaking up with him. If they go ballistic, you could back off, but if they sound understanding, you could start clueing them in on the situation, little by little.”
“That will take a powerful lot of time,” Russ said. “Wouldn’t it be easier to get it over with all at once?”
Elaine sniffed and shook her head. “I’m not up to that. But Jo’s way...I might try that. Thanks. I’m tired of pretending.”
“I’m sure you are. And I have a feeling things will work out.” Jo put her arms around Elaine and gave her a hug.
“Things will work out,” she repeated. “You have Amanda, and a new year is coming up.” She released Elaine and they smiled at each other. Then something prompted Jo to look across at Russ.
He’d stopped rocking and was gazing at her intently, as if trying to work through a very knotty problem.
For an unguarded moment she allowed him to see into her heart. Perhaps he should know how he was beginning to affect her. He already knew how she responded to him sexually. Maybe he needed to know there was more to it than that now. If he turned and ran, she’d back off before it was too late to save herself.
He didn’t flinch, didn’t look away. A slow, steady flame burned in the depths of his dark eyes, and that flame kindled an answering one in Jo. Her focus narrowed to take in only Russ, as if she saw him for the first time. A faint smile curved his mouth, and she wanted to kiss him so much it hurt.
Then Amanda stirred and coughed.
Russ immediately glanced down at the baby and murmured softly to her.
Amanda squirmed and shifted position, her little fist curling over a section of the sheepskin.
Santa in a Stetson Page 9
