“This isn’t exactly a mansion,” said Nickie.
“It’s a mansion,” said Mitch.
“Not really,” said Nickie.
“If you wanted to buy it you would need nine million dollars. It’s a mansion.”
“Nuh-uh. When you say ‘mansion’ this is not what someone would picture. This looks like my parents’ house. Is the cocktail party tonight going to happen at a real mansion?” she asked.
The limo driver opened our door and Caj and I stepped out while Nickie stayed planted.
“Yes. Where Bellamy is staying is probably more what you might consider a traditional mansion. It’s taller and has a nice fountain in front of it,” said Mitch, a tight smile on his face.
“Then I guess this is fine,” said Nickie, sliding out and joining us.
“Okay, ladies,” said Mitch. “Go right inside and have a seat. From here on out you will have microphones on you at all times. They’ll get that all taken care of for you inside. Anyone in there who is part of the show is there to help you. Just consider them all producers and ask them for help if you are confused, or need assistance in any way. Okay? Filming for the show starts when you meet Bellamy, so get ready! For now, make yourselves comfortable. There are drinks and some nice fruits and cheeses waiting for you in there. I suggest you eat something because you’ve got a long night ahead of you. Your luggage should be arriving anytime. We’re going to ask you to stay in this immediate area of the house, right here, and use just the restroom in this area when you get ready. Got that? Like I said, you will be meeting two more girls from Florida soon.” He glanced at the time on his phone. “Rob should be arriving any minute with them, and the five of you will be going to the cocktail party together, but you are not going to meet the rest of the girls until you get to the party. Got that? So no wandering around, because other girls will be getting ready here too, in other wings of the house.”
“So, this is where we’re going to live? This is our house?” asked Nickie.
“Yes,” said Mitch.
“I’m just so disappointed.”
“Did you come here to find love, or to stay in a mansion?” asked Mitch.
“Both,” said Nickie.
“Anyway,” he continued, focusing on just Caj and myself, “have a seat, relax, grab a snack, and get ready for the party as soon as your luggage gets here. If you have any questions, they’ll answer them for you inside.” He turned his attention away from us and hit a couple of buttons on his phone, “Hi. Yep, we’re here. The Chicago three. Okay, sounds good.”
“Hi,” said a cheery little blonde woman, opening the door and waving us inside. “Come on in! Would you like something to drink?”
“Bye!” yelled Mitch. “Good luck!”
We went inside and were ushered down the hall to what I guessed was a master suite. Instead of a bed, though, there were two floral sofas and a low coffee table. On a banquette by the door was a spread of fruit and cheeses. They weren’t nice, though. They looked like the kind of fruit and cheese plates you’d get at a Piggly Wiggly, with the layer of plastic wrap removed. They weren’t even on nice platters. I popped a grape in my mouth as someone attached a microphone to me.
“Our luggage is here,” exclaimed Caj, clapping her long, skinny, alien hands together in glee.
I jumped up and followed her, relieved to be able to change from my frumpy outfit into an evening gown. I vowed that for the remainder of my time here I would look as perfect as I possibly could, even if it meant I’d be uncomfortable the entire time.
“The Florida bitches are here,” said Nickie.
I hauled all my luggage into the bathroom, determined to change before either of them met me. What had I been thinking to dress so badly on such an important occasion? I mean, flats? Flats? “Really, Emma? How could you? How could you?” I asked my reflection. I looked puffy, blotchy, exhausted. I had never looked worse!
Seconds later there was pounding on the door. “We all need to get ready,” yelled Nickie.
“Just a minute,” I said. I wriggled out of my jeans and shirt and stepped into a sparkly blue gown. I was bloated from all the salt and alcohol and could barely zip it. Even my neck looked puffy. I fought hard to keep from crying. I knew once I started I might totally fall apart. The only thing keeping me together was the sleepy cloud of drunkenness that told me perhaps none of this was really happening.
“Let! Me! In!” yelled Nickie, banging the door after each word.
“Fine,” I said, unlocking the door and shoving my stuff into the corner.
“Did we lose a mic?” asked the short, blonde woman, popping her head into the bathroom. “You know you need to be mic’ed at all times,” she said, wagging a finger at me.
“Sorry,” I said. I realized she must have heard me scolding myself in the mirror. And peeing. And blowing my nose. How was I going to live like this?
“You’ll catch on soon,” she said, getting me all set up again.
“Hi there,” said a gorgeous Asian girl. She confidently wedged herself between me and Nickie and began brushing her teeth. After spitting she said, “I’m Amy. I’m from Orlando.”
“Hi,” I said. Nickie ignored her.
“I’m Marissa,” said a short brunette with big horse teeth. “I’m from Miami.” She made herself at home in the shower, emerging moments later in a sparkly salmon colored gown.
“Are you one of us?” asked Nickie.
“What do you mean?” asked Marissa.
“Are you going to be on the show?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh. You don’t look like you belong here. What are you, four eleven?”
“No. I’m five feet tall. I belong here as much as any of the rest of you.” She evaluated herself in the mirror, looking worried.
Nickie shook her head and applied another coat of mascara.
“I think you look nice,” I said to Marissa, feeling awful for her.
“Ladies, the limo will be arriving to take you to meet Bellamy in twenty minutes. Please get into your evening gowns if you haven’t already,” yelled a voice from the master suite.
“Can I have a little privacy?” asked Amy.
“There is no privacy here,” said Nickie. As if to prove her point, she stripped down to just a thong and began thumbing through her evening gowns.
I had been planning to wear my hair up, but I noticed that all the other girls were wearing their hair down in big curls or loose, wavy layers. I followed their lead as best I could in the short amount of time I had; I scrunched my hair with some borrowed mousse, trying to emulate the other women’s beachy waves. I didn’t have a curling iron with me, which, apparently, was how these styles were created. Honestly, I didn’t even know people still used curling irons. They made me think of high school. Giving up on my hair, I put on some tall, strappy sandals and clipped a lizard shaped doodad to my ear. Unsure what else to do, I hauled all my stuff back out of the bathroom and sat down beside the food, nibbling on some cheese cubes and strawberries.
Caj had gotten ready in the master suite while we were all piled on top of one another in the bathroom. Her gown was gold and white and very tight. He shoes were silver, but somehow they worked with the dress. Then, as she crossed an ankle over the other, I noticed the soles had a cool, silver and gold Egyptian pattern on them, further linking them subtly to her dress. How stylish and clever of her. She wore just one bracelet on her upper arm. Her dark brown hair was flat ironed perfectly straight. Though her eyes were heavily lined, she had on barely any other makeup. I casually blotted my thick lipstick onto a cocktail napkin, trying to fight the feelings of inferiority.
One by one the other women joined us in the master suite. First Marissa, a stubby pink sausage. Then Amy, dazzling in a lime green gown. Finally Nickie emerged, looking positively stunning in an emerald green strapless gown. If she could keep her mouth shut, she might win the whole thing.
“You all look fannn-tastic,” said the woman who had reattached my mic.
“Are you ready to meet the man of the hour?” Five glasses of champagne appeared, one for each of us. There was clinking and giggles and for a brief moment I felt a strange bond with these four women. The next thing I knew, we were back outside, heels clicking on flagstone pavers, our arms getting goosebumpy from the cool night air and anticipation. I looked down below me at Los Angeles, realizing this was really, really happening. We all got back in the limo, and we were on our way.
Chapter 12
“Oh my God! There he is,” squealed Marissa.
We hadn’t driven far, but we were already at Bellamy’s mansion. Caj clutched at my arm, her eyes wide. “I’m so incredibly excited,” she whispered. I tried to catch a glimpse out the window, but all the other girls were blocking me. The limo was stopping. I wasn’t ready for this at all. I was so nervous I could barely catch my breath. Noooo, said the voice in my head.
The door opened and Marissa was the first one out. We watched her sidle up to Bellamy, with a timid yet saucy little swagger.
“Awkward,” whispered Caj.
“There he is,” said Amy. Finally, I was able to really see him. Something in my gut twisted a little, perhaps it was all those Bloody Marys, but Bellamy looked rather… ordinary. And short. Honestly, Marissa didn’t seem that much shorter than him! She stood on her tiptoes and gave him a big hug, then handed him something.
“What is she saying?” asked Caj.
“What is she giving him?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” said Amy.
“Did any of you bring him anything?” asked Caj.
Before anyone could answer, the limo driver opened the door again and Nickie exited.
“Do you think she can behave herself?” I asked.
“No,” said Caj.
We watched her strut up to Bellamy, grab him by the face, and give him a hard kiss on the mouth. Then she grabbed his tie and pulled him right up to her nose and hollered, “Do you like it rough?” He responded by smiling broadly.
“Repugnant,” said Amy.
“I guess we might want to try being aggressive,” said Caj.
Nickie kissed him again, this time dipping him back.
“She is really strong,” I said.
“Look, she brought something with her, too,” said Amy. We watched as she pulled a beer can out from beneath her dress, guzzled the entire thing with foam running out the corners of her mouth, and then crushed it against her forehead.
“Wow,” said Bellamy. I couldn’t really hear him, but I could see his lips form the word. We then watched Nickie tuck the crushed beer can into his lapel pocket, and give it a little tap like Here’s something to remember me by.
“Is she done yet?” asked Caj.
“Yes,” said Amy, nervously wiping her hands on her dress. She was up next. The limo door opened again and she got out. She stiffly walked up to Bellamy, tripped on a cobblestone but recovered pretty well, shook his hand, said a few words, and was on her way.
Next up was Caj. I watched Bellamy’s face light up when he saw her. Ugh. Why hadn’t I planned it better and gone before her? She was a very tough act to follow, and every bit as smooth as I had feared she would be. She elegantly walked up, chatted, laughed, flipped her long straight hair. He looked positively charmed.
Then it was my turn. I took a deep breath and exhaled, trying to calm myself down. I stepped out and smiled, wishing I had given more thought to this moment. Who was I going to be? The sweet Emma? The sassy Emma? The aloof Emma? Before I could decide, a giant coyote came bounding out of the woods, straight for me. “Aaaaaaaah,” I screamed, turning and trying to make it back to the limo. Suddenly there were people everywhere. Cameramen, producers, people with lights and clipboards. Everyone was yelling and rushing around.
“Scram! Scram! Get out of here,” they yelled at the coyote. As quickly as it had appeared, it was gone. I stood there shaking, confused and stunned. My heart was beating so fast I thought I might pass out. Realizing the cameras were still rolling, I fluffed my crunchy hair, smoothed my dress, and walked up to Bellamy. “Hi. I’m Emma,” I said. “It’s so wonderful to finally meet you.”
Bellamy smiled at me. He wasn’t very intimidating. He had an aura of niceness around him. I couldn’t believe it was actually him. He looked so real. So normal.
“Was that your dog?” he asked me, pointing off towards the woods. I realized he was trying to make a joke.
“Yes. I thought you should get to know him too. We’re a package deal.”
Bellamy laughed and laughed, delighted at what he seemed to think was a quick comeback. I felt strangely calm and, dare I say, bored. “I’ll see you inside,” I said giving him a little hug, realizing as the words came out that this was probably his line.
“I can’t wait to talk with you more, Emma,” he said. I nodded, watching another limo come around the corner.
“Can we get the wildlife under control? Geez! I don’t want someone to lose a limb,” yelled one of the producers.
“Quiet!” yelled someone else.
I went inside and was met by the girls from my limo, along with five other girls, none of whom I’d met yet. Champagne flowed like water. A glass was immediately placed in my hand.
“Did you see that?” I asked. “A coyote almost attacked me!”
“We’re not allowed to stand over where we can see, because we would show up on camera and it would be distracting,” said one of the girls.
“What do you mean a coyote attacked you?” asked Nickie. She had a can shaped welt forming in the middle of her forehead.
“A coyote almost attacked me,” I repeated.
“Not fair!” she yelled.
“Huh?”
“That’s not fair. Now there’s no way you’re going home tonight ‘cause he’s going to feel sorry for you. Did you plan this?”
“Of course not. How could I plan something like that?”
“This show is rigged!”
“Hi,” said a familiar voice. It was Vanessa, the marathon running pediatrician from Atlanta. I saw everyone, even Caj, take notice. Vanessa was wearing a long black gown with spaghetti straps. Her hair was up in a twisty knot that looked messy chic and showed off her long neck and dangly, sparkly earrings.
“Emma,” she said, giving me a hug. “It’s so great to see you again!” The other girls looked jealous that I knew her. I returned her hug and opened my mouth to speak, but was cut off by a familiar, booming voice, overtaking the room.
“Hey, hey, hey, you bitches and hos! I’m Shar Shallahan,” barked my nemesis. I froze, afraid to turn around. “The winner’s here! Yes sir, bitches, that’s me. Threatened much? You should be now that I’m here,” she remarked to the room as a whole.
I sat down on a sofa and sipped my champagne, trying to avoid her beady eyes. All the glasses had little charms attached so we could tell them apart. The charm on mine looked like a green, sparkly grasshopper. I pretended to be enthralled by it.
“I remember you,” said Shar, pointing a dagger finger nail at me. “I didn’t think I’d see you again.”
“Surprise, here I am,” I said. I looked around for Nickie, sensing that, like dogs, they would either form a power pack or take each other down.
“Is there a television we can watch?” asked one of the women.
“Bellamy is going to come inside as soon as the last girls arrive, and then you will get to meet him some more. So if you’re bored, just wait. It will get very exciting soon,” said a producer.
“I’m not bored,” whined the woman. “I just like TV.”
“I can barely function without my cell phone,” said someone else.
Then everyone chimed in: “Tell me about it! I feel so unplugged.”
“I so agree! This isn’t even civilized.”
“I’m not gonna make it.”
“Ugh! Me too! I’m suffering from withdrawal.”
“Anything could be happening, and we wouldn’t know.”
“My sister is pregnant, and
they wouldn’t even make an exception for me. I mean, what if she, like, has a miscarriage?”
“That is terrible.”
“I can’t believe they did that to you!”
More contestants filled the room, including Shyla, the dog-grooming wannabe actress, and Mylar, the single mom. The decibel level of the room grew louder and louder. The overwhelming aroma of perfume, expensive and cheap, was making me lightheaded. The champagne was bubbly and delicious. It seemed much more expensive than what we had been drinking earlier in the evening, though I really wasn’t much of a champagne judge, having never had it many times before this recent onslaught. I began to feel like I was detaching from the hubbub of the room. Hovering over it, almost. I was impressed that I wasn’t yet puking. Hi God. Please don’t let me puke, I prayed. Everyone sounded so nervous. It was enough to make a person’s head spin. Suddenly we were all quieted by the light clinking of a spoon on a glass.
“Hello,” said a bright, excited woman’s voice. We all perked up. It was Catalina Cartwright, the hostess of the show! She looked tall, thin, and gorgeous in a fringed purple dress that was short in the front and long in the back. Not my style; a little too trendy. But it looked good on her.
Cameras were suddenly everywhere. “Welcome! Welcome! You at home, out there all around America, welcome! Love-seeking ladies to my left and right, welcome! Listen up, folks! We have the most diverse crowd of love-seekers ever this year!” she exclaimed. “Lovely women have come from all corners of the country, including Alaska and Hawaii! We even have some international girls!” The cameras focused on two girls I hadn’t met yet. “Angélique comes to us from Paris, and Jessica comes to us from Australia!” Both women smiled confidently. “We really believe that Bellamy is going to find love with someone right here in this room!”
We all cheered.
Catalina Cartwright continued, now looking pensive and speaking slowly, deliberately, “Bellamy is so ready for love, and has so much to give, and after his heartbreak over Alanna Rutherford,” she paused expectantly, as people holding cue cards suddenly appeared, ducking down below plants and behind furniture, out of view of the cameras. The word Boo was written on the cue cards in big, bubbly, black magic marker. It reminded me of the cue cards on The Newlywed Game. I wondered if the same person wrote all cue cards. Like puppets, we all found ourselves booing. Catalina Cartwright nodded and continued, “After that, all of America is ready to see Bellamy find the love he deserves! This season has been coined Bellamy’s Redemption, since it’s an opportunity for Bellamy to redeem himself! And you, lovely ladies, are our cast of amazing candidates! We’re so excited to have you, America is excited to meet you, and Bellamy is excited to love you! Yay! So, without further ado, I’d like to introduce… Bellamy!”
Bellamy's Redemption Page 12
