Lace and Paint (True Colors Book 1)

by Ally Sky

  “I also like it. A lot.” I’m glad our moods are improving rapidly.

  “I know. I’ve heard…” He smiles that smug smile of his.

  “Well, you don’t leave me much choice, you and the water in the shower.”

  “Good trick, don’t you think?”

  “Yes, very good.” I laugh self-consciously. Okay, we managed to move from a heavy conversation to one about sex in the shower, all in one minute. I see I’m not the only one who’s bipolar—so are our conversations.

  “So what’s the story with this Ronnie?” I change the subject, showing interest in the bits of information I’ve picked up this month.

  “Ronnie? From the project?”

  “Yes.”

  “It’s a complicated story.” He leans back and takes a sip of his coffee.

  “In case you haven’t noticed, I understand complicated stories.” I smile ruefully.

  “Ronnie comes from an extremely troubled home. He dropped out of school at the age of sixteen and went to work. But he has one of the most brilliant minds I’ve ever come across, and he just can’t…” He searches for the right words.

  “Can’t what?” I prompt him. I can see how much he cares about the guy. And I think it’s lovely.

  “Can’t manage to change his life. As I said, his home life is extremely problematic and, right now, it’s taking all his attention. I don’t think he can start a business in his present situation.”

  “How did you meet him?”

  “John brought him in. You know he volunteers at a homeless shelter?” He seems to think I know, but I don’t.

  “I had no idea.”

  “Really?” He’s incredulous.

  “Yes, I spend so many evenings in the basement that I don’t really know when the guys come and go.” I feel uncomfortable for not being aware of it. It’s probably a matter very close to John’s heart. I must remember to ask him about it.

  “In any case, John brought him in, but he’s disappeared, and we’re worried.”

  “I’m sure you’ll find him. He’s lucky he has so many people who care about him.” I can’t help but think about myself, how, during the worst periods of my life, I’d lie in bed, feeling no one cared about me.

  “I really hope so. I met his father and he’s not a nice person.” I recall Ben’s conversation with John concerning that encounter. Ben was shocked after that.

  “And when you find him?”

  “I don’t know. I can’t see how he can fit in with the project.” He seems frustrated.

  “Sounds like right now all he needs is a support system.” I share my thoughts with Ben, even though I’m not sure whether he wants to hear them.

  “That’s all he needs. A job, an organized framework, and a steady income so he can continue renting his flat.”

  “Do you believe in this guy?” An idea comes to mind, but I need to know more first.

  “Absolutely, I’m telling you, the boy is brilliant.”

  “He doesn’t get into trouble? He’s just a bit complex?”

  “He’s a good guy.” Ben frowns, trying to figure out what I’m up to.

  “So why don’t you offer him a job?” I tell him my idea and wait apprehensively to see his reaction.

  “It doesn’t work like that, Talia. These guys need to learn how to manage on their own. If I give him a job, how will he learn to take responsibility?”

  “I know it doesn’t work that way. But he’ll still have to show up every day, on time, and work hard to prove himself. You said so yourself, he’s a good guy. He has a brilliant mind but he needs structure. Just between the two of us, you want to keep him close so you know what’s going on with him. So offer him a job. I’m sure you can think of something.”

  “Offer him a job?”

  “Yes. Sometimes we have to do things we wouldn’t normally do and he’ll still have to deal with the responsibility that comes with the job, plus deal with you.” I chuckle.

  “It could work…” Ben seems to agree.

  “Sometimes the solution is right under our nose.” I shrug, feeling proud of myself. Ben is pleased with me, and I’m pleased with me. “Now all you have to do is to find him.”

  “Yes, and that isn’t easy. He’s not answering his phone, and no one’s seen him. I don’t think he’s been in his flat for quite a while.”

  “I’m sure he’ll show up at some stage.” I try to be reassuring. The guy has to show up.

  “So what are your plans for the coming week?” He takes a sip of coffee.

  “The usual. I’m planning on writing, painting, and working hard for my boss. He’s a really nice guy, you should meet him.” I laugh. “Do you have any plans for me?”

  “No, I’m going home tomorrow. Gabriel insists on celebrating the twins’ birthday on the exact date. Even though he doesn’t care about all the hard-working people in London, I don’t plan on missing it,” he explains in a charming way, yet I feel a stab in my chest. He’s going away.

  “How old are they?”

  “Two.”

  “You really are very close to your family.” I attempt a smile.

  “Yes, very much. That’s why I debated so long before going into business here. I knew that it meant I would be away from home for long periods of time, and I wasn’t sure that’s what I wanted.”

  “I’m quite happy you did.” I smile, and he smiles back.

  “Me too. How’s the coffee?” He changes the subject at a dizzying pace.

  “Wonderful. So what other plans do you have for us?” I ask.

  “First of all, I think I want to sit next to you.” He gets up from the bench and slides onto the seat next to me. I feel like I can’t focus…the smell of his aftershave? God…

  “And second, I think that I really, really,” he looks deep into my eyes, “want to kiss you…”

  He leans in toward my neck and kisses me softly. He’s so confusing.

  His mouth wanders toward my chin and then he turns my face to look at him. He kisses my lips.

  This whole day has been unexpected: the boat, the flirting, and his eagerness to spend time with me. He continues kissing me sweetly, making my heart go crazy.

  “I’m glad you feel better, after last week,” he says, gently caressing my cheek with his hand, staring at my lips.

  “I’m glad my mother has gone and I can go back to my life without having to hear what she has to say.”

  Ben looks up at me sympathetically and says, “You worry too much about what other people think, and about what your next step will be, and what everyone will say about it. How can you live like that?”

  I freeze for a moment. He’s come to know me so well, this guy who doesn’t want to commit to me, and his diagnosis is more precise than ever.

  “I’m so used to those thoughts. I have no control over them,” I reply, feeling uncomfortable. There’s no point in lying to him, he finds out everything about me anyway, and it doesn’t scare him away.

  “So let go,” he encourages me.

  I joke, “Like I do in your bed?”

  “Yes.” The smile on his face makes his eyes shine. “Stop tormenting yourself with what other people think of you.”

  “That’s so easy to say.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t think it’s any easier to live with constant self-judgement. You’re so hard on yourself.” He sounds frustrated.

  “You don’t how true that is,” I admit. I am self-judgmental.

  “Believe me, I’ve seen enough. You constantly label yourself, and then you act accordingly.” He shakes his head quietly. “You live according to slogans. ‘I’m bipolar, I’m the black sheep’. They’re just titles. They don’t even begin to describe you.” His eyes never leave me. He really sees inside me, he knows me better than anyone else.

  “How would you describe me?” I ask hesitantly, not quite sure what answer to expect.

  “Describe you?” He becomes playful again. “Let’s see. You’re funny, and—don’t get huffy again.�
��

  “I’m not.” I can’t help smiling.

  “You’re smart, sensitive, and so talented. You celebrate life,” he continues, causing me to blush and become confused.

  “‘Celebrate life,’” I repeat. “I think that’s where the problem begins.”

  “The moment you call it a problem, I promise you that’s what it will become.”

  “You don’t know my demons.” My voice is almost a whisper. My demons, they’re wide awake.

  “Talia, we all have demons. You just give yours too much credit.”

  “My demons are scary.” My demons can be awful.

  “You’re the only one they scare,” he says solemnly, as he continues to play with my hair.

  “You’ve never seen them.”

  “I’m not afraid of them. And you shouldn’t be either. You’re much stronger than you think you are.”

  “You’re saying big words without knowing me.”

  I never, ever, imagined having such a conversation, not with Ben, nor with anyone else. My defenses are crumbling, and it’s either the best thing in the world, or a mistake I’ll pay for later.

  “Talia,” he stares at me. “I see you. I can see in your eyes how hurt you’ve been in the past. There are scars that never go away.”

  “Well, if you can’t see them in my eyes, there is always my wrist.” I sigh. He has seen them, the scars, and he didn’t panic.

  “You do the worst things to yourself.” He shakes his head in frustration again.

  “I’m my own worst enemy.”

  “Are you afraid of yourself?” he asks, and I feel as though I’ve been punched in the stomach. His directness can be scary.

  “Very.” My heart is pounding. My life can be one big celebration, and then I can crash into depths of sadness. He’s unfamiliar with that. I should be afraid.

  He puts his hand on my cheek and strokes it with his thumb. “You’ve nothing to be afraid of.”

  “Look who’s talking.” I gaze at him in distress. He’s the one who started the conversation, so I can finally dare tell him what I think. “You’re almost as afraid as I am.”

  I tense when he reacts with surprise to my words.

  “It has nothing to do with fear.” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. I’ve touched a sensitive spot.

  “You keep on telling yourself that,” I say nervously. “I, at least, am trying to deal with things. You’re just stuck.”

  He opens his eyes and looks tormented.

  He’s about to say something, but his phone rings suddenly, startling us both.

  Not now! Just when we’ve started speaking about the important stuff!

  “It’s my private line.” Ben pulls out his phone and looks at the screen. “John.”

  He glances at me, and I know he wants me to be silent.

  “What’s going on?... What? When?... Fuck.” He glances at the time on his phone. I have no idea what time it is and I have no idea how long we’ve been here. But he looks worried. “I don’t know. Don’t let him go anywhere,” he says and ends the conversation.

  “What happened?” I ask, alarmed. He doesn’t look good.

  “Ronnie showed up at your house, and it seems as though he’s been beaten up. We have to get back.” His voice is tight.

  “How do you plan on getting us off the boat?” I ask with concern.

  “We’ll be getting back to Camden in five minutes. I’ll have to drive fast. Talia, we can’t enter the house together,” he says, his voice grim and cold.

  “Bullshit. You can park on the corner and say you met me outside. I don’t think that with everything going on at our house, Danny and John will notice anything,” I answer quickly.

  “Do you always think of everything?” He tries to smile, but I know how worried he is.

  “Only when it concerns you.” I run my fingers through his hair and he closes his eyes and sighs.

  “I’m sorry our day has been cut short.”

  “Ben, you need to be there.” He opens his eyes and looks at me with an inscrutable expression.

  “You’re so amazing. And you really get me. I…” He doesn’t finish his sentence.

  He leans toward me, puts a hand in my curls, and pulls me to him, kissing me demandingly. He bites my lip and it’s as though he’s seeking comfort in the kiss. I kiss him back, sliding my fingers through his hair and inhaling him, wondering what he was about to say.

  The car screeches to a halt as Ben slams on the brakes at the side street next to our house. He really did drive fast. I get out of the car, he locks it, and we walk hastily to the house. I try to keep up with Ben’s pace, but with his long legs and my high heels, it’s almost impossible. I’m just glad the house is close, so I don’t have to lag behind him.

  Ben opens the door, and I try to catch my breath from the brisk pace.“Where is he?” Ben asks Danny, who’s standing in the kitchen opening a bottle of beer.

  “On the patio with John.” He points toward the French doors and Ben rushes outside, leaving me to deal with any questions, which might pop up.

  “Hi, did you just arrive now?” Danny asks and frowns.

  “Yes, I met Ben outside and he said something about some guy…” I quickly change the subject, looking seriously at Danny. My heart is still pounding.

  “Yeah, Ronnie. It’s a long story. Did you sleep at Tom’s?”

  I breathe a sigh of relief. A piece of cake, just like I thought. No need for concern.

  “Yes. What’s the story with this Ronnie?” I ask curiously.

  “His father beat him up. John is trying to convince him to go and get checked out, but the boy is stubborn.”

  “How old is he?”

  “Twenty-one.”

  He really is a boy.

  “Open a bottle for me as well.” I glance at his cold beer. “With all that’s going on in this house, I think I’m going to need it.”

  Danny takes a cold beer out of the fridge for me and opens it up. Maybe I should ask Ben if he also wants one—but I don’t want to disturb them. Okay, I’ll just take a peek outside.

  Ugh, I’m dying for a cigarette. I haven’t had one today. Why have they taken over the patio?

  I go to the door and peek outside, meaning to offer Ben a beer, but the swollen face of the young man sitting on the sofa scares me.

  Oh God, he really got a beating.

  Ben and John are sitting on the large sofa and Ronnie is sitting in my usual place on the loveseat, smoking a cigarette. To my surprise, everyone is calm, not that I knew what to expect. Ronnie sees the look of fright on my face and tries to smile, under his bleeding brow.

  “You should see the other guy,” he tries to joke about it.

  “I thought of offering someone my beer, but on second thought, I’ll keep it for myself,” I joke, trying to smile back at him. Someone should really take a look at his face.

  “Ronnie, this is Talia, Danny’s little sister.” John inhales on his cigarette and I can see he’s had a tough morning. His face is lacking its usual calm. I don’t think I’ve ever seen John look so worried.

  “Do you want a beer?” I look at Ben.

  “Yes, but I’ll get it myself, thanks.” He gives me an inquiring look, and I think he wants to make sure we managed to pull off our dramatic entrance.

  I smile at him reassuringly and his face relaxes. He got the hint. Everything’s okay. There’s nothing to be concerned about, at least not because of Danny. I’m not so sure the same can be said about the guy on the sofa.

  Ben stands up and John follows, it seems they want to talk inside, which suits me fine because I would love to go outside and smoke.

  I make room for them to pass and, as Ben walks by, the smell of his aftershave reminds me of last night, as well as a few wicked memories from this morning. I sit on the large sofa, pull out a cigarette from one of the packets thrown on the table, and light it. I take another look at Ronnie’s bleeding face.

  “Is it that bad?” He tries to smil
e, although it looks a painful effort.

  “Ah, it’ll pass.” I try to smile and not look so appalled.

  It’s really awful.

  “It’s not that bad. They’re just making a big deal out of it.” He nods toward the kitchen.

  “What do they want?”

  “For me to go to the hospital.”

  “And spend Sunday at the emergency room? Cool.” I laugh.

  “Yeah, I don’t really feel like it.”

  “No.” I roll my eyes. “It’s better to suffer at home, even if it takes longer.”

  Is he out of his mind? He has to see a doctor.

  “It’ll pass on its own.” He shrugs.

  “Sure. You’ll just have an ugly scar, but I’m sure the girls will love it. It’s a pity, though, with your face.”

  “What do you mean?” He isn’t quite following.

  “Nothing. You know, nowadays doctors put it together in two seconds, and you can’t see a thing afterwards. But, never mind, facial scars are cool.” I shrug nonchalantly and puff on my cigarette.

  Ben said he’s a brilliant guy!.Where’s his head? Why doesn’t he go to the hospital already and let my man go so that he can spend time with me in his bed!

  “It’s not so bad. I won’t have a scar.” He tries to convince himself, and I realize I’ve pressed the right button.

  “Have you looked at yourself in the mirror?” I ask casually.

  “No.”

  “Well…maybe you should. You’re going to have one hell of a scar.” I shake my head and roll my eyes again.

  “Do you think?” He looks at me with concern and I nod. Good. Let him worry a little as well. Everyone here is worried about him.

  “Nah. I don’t want to bother Ben and John with a trip to hospital,” he mumbles, but I can see he’s becoming agitated. I understand he feels bad about bothering them.

  “They’re going to sit here anyway until you agree. Believe me, you’ll only be saving them time.” I inhale on my cigarette, pretending I’m not invested in his decision as I lean back on the sofa.

  He lights up another cigarette and I smile slightly.

  “Believe me, I know how stubborn those two can be. They can be such pains in the ass.”