by Sosie Frost
…Well, it wasn’t completely gone.
“Oh, it’s not bad,” I said. “It’s just…narrow.”
Wrong word.
I met the full brunt of my sister’s wedding-day fury, and she didn’t have enough Bloody Marys in her to temper that rage.
“Delicate!” I yelped the word as Lindsey pitched her tiara at me. “It’s delicate!”
The tiara shattered against the mirror. Lindsey dissolved into tears. Carmen’s hair was scorched. I needed to throw up.
So far, so good.
I expected more problems on the wedding day, and not just that my curls didn’t want to pin in place. I had to wear my hair down, despite Lindsey’s wishes for her bridesmaids in up-dos. Even encouraging Mom to take away my inheritance couldn’t get the curls to hang right.
Lindsey’s phone rang. Mom grabbed it first.
“It’s Bryce,” Mom said. “You can’t talk to him before the wedding.”
I shook my head. “No, he just can’t see her before the wedding.”
“If you want to bring bad luck to a ceremony, we’ll do it at yours.” Mom arched her perfectly manicured eyebrow and answered the call. “Though it’ll take more than luck to get you to the altar.”
There it was.
Mom had been too busy to properly criticize me. Things were finally back to normal.
Lindsey tried to tug the phone from Mom. She froze when Mom screeched.
“What do you mean he’s not here?”
Uh-oh.
“You find him. You find him right now.”
Lindsey caught her phone before it ended up in pieces next to her tiara. Mom hmphed, dousing her hair in enough hairspray to hold it firm through the apocalypse.
“You two girls have the worst taste in friends.” Mom pointed the hairspray at me. I ducked away before she threatened me with a spritz. “Where’s Nate?”
The panic closed my throat. Or maybe it was the hairspray. “How should I know?”
“Well, it’s your responsibility to find him or we’re down one groomsman.”
“Find him?”
“You’re the maid of honor. You’re supposed to be making this day easy for Lindsey.”
Lindsey mourned her thinned eyebrow. “And it’s not been easy, Mandy. Not at all!”
“Nate’s not here?” The words crawled out of me, sick and miserable.
Lindsey grumbled under her breath, stealing the tweezers from the stylist and attempting to balance out the razor thin line of her eyebrow.
“This has to be your fault,” my sister said. “What the hell is going on with you two?”
I didn’t want to answer that. I took a chance that maybe it was one of her rhetorical questions, the ones she spat before she ranted at my face until I groveled in my own apologies.
Not this time. She expected an answer.
Lindsey plucked a hair out of my arm. I yelped, but she aimed with the tweezers for another bite of my skin.
“Why isn’t Nate here? I know you’ve been fighting with him. What did you do?”
The salon was packed. Mom, Lindsey, five bridesmaids, and seven stylists waited for my answer in silence. That was fourteen people too many to learn the truth about what happened.
I glanced at the patient stylist handling my hair. “Is there a place I can talk with them?”
She pointed towards the hallway leading to the restrooms. Good enough. At least I was close to a toilet in case I had to throw up.
Mom and Lindsey followed me, arms crossed, the same judgmental scowl plastered on their faces.
This wasn’t going to be easy, but it could be discreet. I’d give them the bare minimum, leave to find Nate, and promise him whatever he wanted if he made it to the wedding and let me explain everything.
I took a breath. “Okay. Nate and I have been…” What was the right word? “Involved.”
Lindsey nearly hit the ceiling. “You what?”
“We had a fight two days ago. I don’t know where he is now, but I’ll call him.”
Lindsey didn’t buy it for a minute. “You’ve been dating Nate?”
“Yeah.”
“No, no. I don’t believe you. You would never date a man like Nate. You’ve been hiding something for weeks. You’re acting weird. And, honestly, you haven’t put this family first for a long time.”
“You have no idea what I’ve been doing for this family.”
“Ruining everything, apparently, even scaring away one of the groomsmen!” Lindsey’s hands trembled.
Oh shit. She was going to blow. Even Mom took a step back.
“You messed up the catering order. You didn’t have the courtesy to maintain your weight with the dresses. You cut your hair, and they can’t get your curls into the up-do I wanted! You didn’t bother learning how to do my dance. You never finished the paper flowers. You should’ve been working on the party all night. Instead you went home.”
“I had to sleep!”
“No, you didn’t! You could have stayed up for one night to help.”
“You weren’t there.”
“I’m the bride. I have to look beautiful. You’re the Maid of Honor. No one cares what you look like.”
Mom crossed her arms. “Let’s not forget, we needed you to deliver messages to your father, and you refused.”
This wasn’t happening. “Mom, I couldn’t play messenger all the time. You were just fighting with Dad, and it wasn’t getting anything done.”
“And so you thought it’d be better if you caused more stress.”
“I thought it’d be better if you talked to your husband.”
Mom stiffened. “This is Lindsey’s day, and you’ve done everything in your power to make it as difficult as possible for all of us.”
“Are you kidding?” I wasn’t ready to defend myself from this. “I’ve put you guys first for months.”
“It sure doesn’t seem like it,” Lindsey said.
“Believe me, if you knew what I’ve been going through—”
“It doesn’t matter what you’ve been doing! This is my wedding. Nothing is more important!”
“Everything is more important!”
I didn’t mean to yell, didn’t realize I had until the profanity echoed through the hall.
And I didn’t care. For the first time, I didn’t care what my family thought. I wasn’t going to be hurt by the very people I tried so hard to protect.
I loved my family, but couldn’t they see how much pain I was in?
“For the past three months, I’ve done everything for this family,” I said. “I spent all my time-off from work. I’ve made crafts and researched prices and confirmed appointments and dropped everything to take care of this wedding, and neither of you appreciate it.”
Mom scowled. “I didn’t know you needed to be commended for doing your part.”
“I don’t want to be commended. I want to be respected. I’ve lost everything because of this wedding, and I can’t lose my mother and sister too.”
“What have you lost?” Lindsey groaned. “Stop being so melodramatic.”
“Me?” Tears welled in my eyes. This was the worst time for the hormones to take over. “I might have lost the only man I’ve ever cared about because I put everything before him. Nate didn’t just leave the wedding party; he might have left me.”
“You can’t possibly care this much about Nate,” Lindsey said.
“Of course I do, but I screwed everything up. He’s gone because I didn’t want to overshadow your wedding.”
“Well, congratulations.” Lindsey clapped, punctuating each word with a sarcastic slap. “Here you are. Overshadowing my wedding. Once again, we’re in a mess because something you did jeopardized the ceremony.”
“How dare you.”
“Just because you’re having a stupid relationship problem with your crush doesn’t give you the right to ruin my—”
“I’m pregnant!”
I didn’t mean to shout it.
The word
crashed louder than silence and harsher than a slap across the cheek.
Now the entire wedding party, salon, and whoever passed in the street knew the truth.
I’d shout it from the rooftops now if it mean proving to Nate I was sorry for keeping it a secret.
I faced my family, tears in my eyes. “I’ve been hiding it for three months so I wouldn’t ruin today. That’s why Nate left. I told him, we had a fight. I kept it a secret because I didn’t want to cause any drama, and now it’s destroyed any chance I have with the man I…”
My voice broke. Mom and Lindsey stilled, but it didn’t last long.
Mom fanned herself with a hand, but she was going down. Not that she was a fainter, but the only scandal bigger than a pregnant bridesmaid was an unconscious mother of the bride.
“Oh, I can’t believe this.” Mom stumbled back to the salon and collapsed in the nearest chair. “My baby! In trouble! Oh, I’m so ashamed.”
I bristled. “I’m not ashamed. I was scared to tell you and Lindsey, but I should have never been reluctant to tell my family about this.”
Mom sobbed big fat crocodile tears, and the bridesmaids clustered to help her. I turned to Lindsey, but my sister stared at me, jaw clenched and eyes narrowed.
“I promise I’ll do everything I can to make your day perfect,” I said. “And I know I’ve made mistakes. I’m sorry. But I’ve only ever wanted to be a good sister. I want to help.”
“You wanna help?” Lindsey took Mom’s hand. “I can’t even look at you right now. I gave up my dream wedding because you’ve turned it into a nightmare. Just leave.”
“Leave?”
“I want you out of the wedding.”
Why did it hurt? I sucked in a breath. It burned inside me, but I wasn’t going to argue. I was tired and upset and it wasn’t healthy for me or the baby.
I blinked away tears, but I nodded.
“Okay,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
I grabbed my purse and rushed out of the salon before they saw me cry.
I made it onto the sidewalk before I remembered I hadn’t driven.
It didn’t matter. Where the hell would I go? Home? To find Nate?
God, I hated feeling so…alone.
And it was all my fault. I was the one who pushed Nate away. I was the one who hid the truth from everyone. And I was the one who never stood up for herself when I should have.
A voice called to me from the SUV parked in the salon’s lot.
“Boy trouble? Or…should I say…man trouble?”
I turned. Dad waved at me. He patted the car door.
“Get in, Mandy-Pandy. You look like you could use a ride.”
I frowned, climbing into the SUV. “What are you doing here?”
“Promise not to laugh?”
“Have I ever made that promise?”
“Fair enough,” he said. “I was waiting for your momma. I hoped I could talk to her.”
That made one of us. “Good luck.”
“Uh-oh. What happened?”
I was sure the bridesmaids had filmed it. I didn’t have the energy to explain. “Can you take me home?”
“Don’t you want to head to the church?”
I shook my head.
Dad squeezed my hand. “Okay. I’ll take you home.”
He reached for the steering wheel, but I didn’t let his hand go. In that moment, I didn’t care if I was twenty-three and carrying a baby or if I looked like I was three years old clinging to my father. I needed him. If anyone would understand, it’d be him.
He drove me to my apartment, and I welcomed him inside even though the tiny kitchen still cluttered with pots and pans and messes from the tacos. I wished I could’ve hidden it, but Dad smirked.
“Looks like my place. Like father, like daughter.”
I hated myself for sniffling and being so sensitive. “Sorry, Dad.”
He pulled me into a hug. “Don’t you sorry, Dad me. Tell me what’s happening. Why aren’t you getting ready for the wedding?”
“Lindsey kicked me out.”
“She what?” Dad pulled away. “Why?”
My lip trembled. He’d hear it soon enough anyway. “Because…I’m pregnant.”
He didn’t yell.
Didn’t swear.
I held my breath as Dad plopped into the couch and stared at the wall. He cleared his throat. Once. Twice. Three times?
Uh-oh. He was upset.
“I’m so sorry, Dad.”
Dad’s eyes widened. He looked at me and broke into a smile. “Don’t be sorry about a baby, Mandy. Never be sorry about a baby.”
The pressure eased, but my conscience didn’t. I didn’t know what to say.
“I’m not apologizing for the baby,” I said. “I’m…I’m sorry I disappointed you.”
He pulled me onto the couch with him. I rested my head on his shoulder just like when I was little.
“You haven’t, Mandy. How…did this happen? Is it Nate’s?”
“How did you—”
“I told you. You can’t keep anything from your dad…” He flinched. “Except a pregnancy, I guess. But I think I would have figured it out after a couple months.”
“Probably.”
“Do you care about this boy?”
I nodded. “I do. But…he didn’t take the news well.”
Dad tensed. “Why? What did he do?”
“He offered to marry me.”
Dad’s sigh of relief was unnecessary. “Sounds like he did the right thing.”
“No, he didn’t. No one understands. Dad, I can’t marry him because of a baby. We’ve only been together for these past three months, and during most of them, I was hiding.”
“Hiding?”
“I’ve been trying to keep this a secret until after the wedding, when I could tell everyone without worrying about pissing Lindsey and Mom off. I tried to avoid everything that happened just now, and it went even worse than I could have imagined. Nate’s mad. Mom’s lost it completely. Lindsey is furious.”
Dad tugged me closer. “Mandy, what’s the real reason you kept it secret?”
“Real reason?”
“I know you. You’ve never hidden from anything in your life. You face your problems head on…or, you used to. Why did you really hide?”
I didn’t ask if he meant hiding the truth from Nate or the rest of our family. I swallowed.
“Our family has been through enough,” I said. “I wanted one event that might have made us feel whole again. Everyone’s been fighting and angry. I thought if I took the brunt of all the insanity, maybe I could keep everyone calm enough to…I don’t know. Be a family again, if only for a night.”
I felt stupid saying it, like I was a little girl who couldn’t understand why her parents split. I did understand, but that didn’t mean I liked it. Dad ruffled my hair. I smirked.
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I haven’t been taking your divorce very well,” I said.
Dad chuckled. “In case you hadn’t noticed, neither have I.”
“It’s just…no one seems happy. I always thought love would be like…a fairy tale. You’d know the instant you were meant for someone, you’d get married, and it’d be…perfect.”
“There’s your problem,” Dad said. “There is no perfect relationship, just like there’s no right time for a baby. Every couple is different. They love and they hate and they desire each other, and none of it is the same for other people. Don’t measure your possible happiness based on the misery of others. Not when you deserve to experience all the love in the world.”
“But what happens if it fails?”
“Marriage is not solely about love. It’s work and commitment. I don’t believe any two people are meant to be, but I know plenty of people who rely on fate and chance to solve their problems. You have to nurture your relationship. That’s the secret of marriage, and that’s why mine failed. And it’s also why I’ve been trying to get your mother back. I know how it should be done n
ow.”
I sighed. “I can’t believe you’re so forgiving.”
“Your mother forgave more.”
“But even after Marcus Washington, you’re still chasing her.”
Dad stiffened. He frowned at me. “Marcus?”
I arched an eyebrow. “She’s…been having an affair with him.”
“She what?”
Oh shit.
I leapt off the couch. “I thought you knew! You said you had forgiven her!”
“Forgiven her? I didn’t even know they…she’s having an affair with Marcus?”
“Yes! Remember? I walked in on them at the country club!”
“The country club—”
Dad froze. His eyes immediately averted from me, and he swallowed, hard. “Oh. You think…” He cleared his throat. “Okay, kiddo. That wasn’t Marcus Washington with your mom.”
God, that was a relief. “Then who?”
“That…was me.”
And the need for therapy returned. Great. Mom wasn’t having an affair. She was just fucking the brains out of her estranged husband.
Ew.
“Oh, thank God.” I covered my eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t recognize you from…that angle.”
“I’m all right with that.”
“What are you doing back with Mom?”
Dad looked even more ashamed, but he sheepishly shrugged. “It just happened. I’m sure you can relate. We got caught up in the moment.”
I nodded. “I can’t get out of my moments with Nate.”
“You sure it’s just a moment now?”
“I don’t want it to be.”
“Then you better tell that boy and tell him quick. It’s easy to fall in love, but it’s hard to make a relationship work.”
“Do you think he’d even…”
“Want you?” Dad pulled me into a hug. “That boy has loved you since you were kids.”
“He…has?”
“A father always knows. You tell him you want him, and he’ll be tripping over himself to buy the cutest damn onesie he can find for that baby.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because I have two babies of my own, given to me by the woman I love. No man in his right mind is going to walk away from that blessing.” He didn’t let me cry. His smile helped to rebuild what had been shattered. “Now you have a wedding to get ready for.”
I shrugged. “Lindsey doesn’t want me there.”
