by Calia Read
What do you feel with him? Her conscience prickled.
Severine laughed and quickly kissed the corner of his lips. When she looked at Lily, she saw her friend staring at Macsen ruthlessly. No words were coming out of her mouth, but as she tapped her heel against her bar stool, Severine knew she was taking stock.
Macsen let her go and walked toward the kitchen. “Hey, Lily.”
“Mac,” Lily said with a nod.
Severine kicked the chair Lily sat on. When she got her attention, Severine mouthed, “What the hell?”
Lily played dumb and turned away. “So Mac, you still have time to get ready if you wanna go.” Her offer was sweet, but it was all a test.
He was completely unaware and leaned on the cluttered kitchen island. The cap of his Gatorade was in his fingers. He spun it repeatedly. “Nah. I’m good staying here.”
“I gotta pee,” Severine announced awkwardly.
Lily raised her head. “Cool.”
She had to get out of there.
The bathroom door was shut. Severine knocked and tried to open the door.
“Uh, someone’s in here,” Thayer shouted out gruffly. It broke through the door and reached her ears and blasted her heart enough to make it stagger with uneven beats.
“I have to go pee, Thayer!” Severine called out.
An awkward pause passed between them. “Tough! They have bathrooms at the dorms, right?”
“Thayer! I’ll release my fluids right here.”
“That’s fucking nasty, Blake,” Thayer shot back.
Chris popped his door open and peeked out, shirtless. “Please don’t! It’s my turn to vacuum this shit hole.”
“Chris, I would never do that to you. I’ll just go into Thayer’s room.” Chris laughed and shut his door, just as Thayer ripped open the door.
His eyes moved over her, up and down. It completely overpowered her. “The bathroom awaits you.”
Severine nodded but didn’t move. He was dressed to go somewhere. Pieces of his hair were styled to give the appearance of bed head. It was the kind of hair that a girl would yank during sex. Severine wanted to reach up and tug him close to her.
Severine was reminded why the two of them in close proximity was always an epic fail. She felt about as thick as tissue paper. All Thayer had to do was tap her on the shoulder, and she’d cave into him. Behind her, she leaned a hand against the wall. “You took forever.”
“Yeah, well it’s my fucking home. Maybe Macsen needs to buy you a bag of Depends.”
“Oh!” Severine crooned. “Straight to the heart!” Her body was solid again. Leave it to a good bout of sarcasm to toughen her skin. Severine stepped forward and motioned for Thayer to scoot. “You wanna move out of the way?”
“You wanna ask nicely?”
His cologne wafted toward her. Severine inhaled greedily.
Her soul was tar black. She was going to hell for enjoying being near him. It was hard to care how tarnished her thoughts were. Thayer brought a dangerous stream of urgency through her body. She was back on that rollercoaster ride. There was no way she wanted to be absent from what she was feeling.
Her arms were laced behind her back, firmly kept to herself. At times, hands-off was more threatening than a simple touch. That time was now.
Severine clenched her hands tightly together. “Thayer, let’s be honest, do either one of us know what the word nice means?”
The conflicted male from weeks before was gone. Thayer used his height and stepped closer to tower over her. Severine inched her shoulders back, her posture straighter than ever. “You want me to sing hymns in your honor?” Severine couldn’t tell if he was serious. That’s how solid his poker face was. His fingers reached to her shoulders and lifted a lock of her hair away from her neck, to join the rest of the strands hanging down her back.
Macsen’s touch was merciful. Every move was thoughtful. Thayer’s vitality was barely contained. Severine glanced back up at his sharp features. She saw the truth. He wanted to do so much more.
“Wouldn’t that signify that you know me?” Thayer asked as he took one step closer. “How much of me do you know, Severine?”
“Never mind. I don’t have to go that bad.” Severine turned on her heels, away from the conversation she had initiated.
Thayer was close on her heels.
When she came back into the light of the living room, Lily still sat chatting with Macsen and Chris as they ate.
“Oh, yeah!” Lily rushed out happily. “You’re here.” Macsen stared at her and then behind her. Severine watched the rush of emotions pass across his face. Lily kept speaking. “Why are we wasting time? It’s ten. Let’s gooo!”
Macsen stood close as Severine gathered her clutch and re-buttoned her coat. “Maybe you should stay here.” His eyes drifted down to her heels, back to her face, and back down again.
Severine patted his stomach, and he grabbed onto her hand tightly. “It will be okay, Macsen. I promise to not dance up on some other guy.”
Chris popped his head around the corner. “Uh...I don’t know if Macsen told you yet, but he gives you full permission to dance up on me.”
Macsen flipped Chris off and spoke quietly to Severine, “Okay, you’re not going.”
With a firm kiss to his lips, Severine tried to show him that everything would be okay. She was with him. One night wouldn’t change that. By the time they broke away, Macsen was dazed and red in the face.
The moment was seconds away from leading to his bedroom, until Thayer dropped an arm across Macsen’s shoulder, effectively breaking her contact from him.
Thayer’s gaze at Severine was a challenge. “You shouldn’t worry, little brother, Chris and I will take care of her.” He closed his words with a smirk, and Severine’s stomach dropped. The ride was over.
“Wait...you’re going?”
“Does that bother you?” Thayer immediately asked.
Both brothers gazed at her. Both brothers waited for her response. Severine wasn’t a squirmer, but she was close to shifting her feet and gazing down at the floor.
“No.” Severine held tight to her clutch. “I just figured there was a nearby Déjà Vu Strip club that was calling your name.”
Chris slapped Thayer’s arm. “Dude, is there really?”
He was the perfect buffer for the strain framing its way around the three of them.
“Okay. Seriously, I’m going to leave everybody if they don’t start hauling ass!” Lily griped.
Severine turned to Macsen, giving him the tightest hug her strength could remit. There wasn’t enough time to hug her worries away. “I’ll call you later. Okay?”
Macsen’s smile was abrupt. He nodded, looking more unconvinced by the second.
Between Thayer and Chris, she walked out of the apartment with Lily impatiently honking her horn.
“Are you thinking of ways to get out?” Thayer questioned innocently.
He was in the mood to taunt her every action. Severine was in the mood to fake a cough and call it a night.
“Nope.” You need to leave, Severine. “I’m looking forward to tonight.”
Chapter Seventeen
Why did Severine torture herself with heels?
They had only been there for an hour and her feet were practically howling at her to chuck the damn black heels across the room and never let them see the light of day again. None of her bitching would change her mind. Severine would keep complaining, and she’d keep buying them just for fashion’s sake. Having piles of shoes that she hardly wore made her nonexistent bank account weep and then caused her to spew out every cuss word her grandma hated.
But it channeled her inner Carrie Bradshaw to lust after every Jimmy Choo and Christian Louboutin available. She got lured into the vicious cycle the minute she stepped into them. She felt lithe and in complete control of her body. It doesn’t hurt to know that when anyone is clad in a pair, everyone stares. They just demand attention.
With one last sip of her dr
ink, Severine pushed it aside, stood on her already blistered feet and walked back to the dance floor. The energy was toxic. Everyone fed off each other as they danced on the floor. She scooted around people before spotting Lily and Ben close together.
Chris stood by them with a girl wrapped around him. He caught her coming in their direction. “You going to dance with me, Save-ah-reeen?” Her name came out slurred. Chris was officially shit-faced.
“Ask me in an hour.”
“You told me that an hour ago!” Chris shouted over the music. For being drunk, he had a freakishly good memory.
“I’m feeling generous.” She held out her hand and he took it, brushing off the girl on him like a piece of lint. It didn’t piss her off—the random chick blended in with everybody else. “I’m gonna warn you once. If your hands go below the waist, I’m giving you a swift kick to the baby maker. And then the world will never be repopulated with tiny Chrises.”
“Follow me, Save-uh-reen!” He held her hand in the air, led her to the floor, and shouted loudly, “Move aside, bitches!”
His actions were hyper. It was a cross between someone doing a jig to get the spider over his or her shoulders, and a person trying to stop, drop, and roll.
By the time they were walking toward Lily and Ben, Severine was exhausted. “You dance like you’re choking!” Severine shouted in his ear.
“It’s the only way to go. It attracts the ladies!”
“To do the Heimlich on you?”
Chris wiggled his eyebrows. “Does that involve her tongue in my mouth?”
The smile on her face faded. Thayer was back at their table with a girl. Everything about her was the opposite of Severine. Short in stature, a bob cut curved around her chin, and from where Severine was sitting, she could see her eyes were dark.
She wanted to snarl her upper lip in disgust, but it was hard to hate someone when they were unaware of the havoc they were creating. The small girl turned and spoke with Thayer. He nodded to her, but focused on Severine.
It was provocative; taunting her to say something. Severine wanted to—there was nothing to lose. Alcohol swam in her veins, making her words come out quicker than normal.
Thayer wanted a response. He was waiting to bite.
The longer she remained silent, the more apparent the frown covering his brow became. Finally, he turned away. His back became hunched as he leaned down and talked to the girl. The picture they made was all wrong.
“Are you having fun?” Lily shouted across the table.
“Of course!”
“Do you miss Mac?” Chris asked and mimicked tears coming down his cheeks.
Both the midget and Thayer turned back to the conversation. Severine subtly shifted her shoulder, blocking them from her sight. “It’d be great if he was here.”
“Dancing has never been his thing,” Chris confessed. “You think I’m bad? Watch Mac dance. He’d make me look like Usher.”
“A drunk Usher,” Ben shouted out.
“Come dance with me, Usher. I want to see your spaztastic moves again.” Severine dragged him away from the table. Away from Thayer.
She stayed there till two in the morning.
“My feet are going to fall off,” Chris moaned. “Unless you’re putting out tonight, I’m going to sit down.”
Severine held on tight and tugged on Chris’s hand. “Come on. One more dance.”
Chris bounced back on his heels and examined Severine. “Dude. Is this about Thayer?”
“Dude, no.”
“I’m not blind.”
“But aren’t you drunk?”
“Correction. I was drunk, and then you challenged me to a dance off for the past hour. Buzz is long gone.”
Severine saw the clarity in his eyes. “To answer you, no, nothing about Thayer. It’s just weird to be the third wheel.” Severine glanced over where everyone stood. “Weirder than I thought.”
“You no longer have to worry about that. Now that I’m going home with no pussy, you can tag along with me.”
With more people leaving the building, Severine was able to listen in on Thayer and the tag along. Her name was Vanessa. Vanessa shared a class with Thayer. Vanessa just loved this club. Vanessa was having a great time. Severine walked to the bar and sat down at one of the open barstools.
Impatiently, she drummed her fingers against the counter. The bartender raised an eyebrow in her direction. “I need a shot!”
“Of?”
“Anything.”
He absently nodded his head and handed it over as if she was already gone to the world. Unfortunately, she was not. Severine still had eyes that could see clear as day.
Quickly, she gulped down the liquid and chased it down with Coke. It burned. But after a second, the taste wore off, and it wasn’t too bad at all.
Maybe it was fifteen minutes later...maybe an hour. Chris firmly held her elbow. “Easy, killer. We’re gonna leave.”
“Where’s Lily?” Severine shouted.
“I’m here,” Lily calmly replied. She linked arms with Severine, and the two of them walked out the door.
Severine eyes stayed glued to Thayer and Vanessa. They walked in front of her, almost taunting her to say something. Jealousy was a dark, ugly color. It was ironic that it was finding its way into Severine’s heart. She was finding out a lot about herself tonight. Her only hope was that she’d remember none of it tomorrow.
A girlish laugh sounded in front of them. Lily tightened her grip on Severine. “I shouldn’t have brought you here tonight.”
Liquid courage could work in peoples’ favor. For Severine, it was a bad, bad thing. “That girl.” Her finger could barely stay straight as she pointed in front of them. “I’ve never met her.”
“I know,” Lily agreed.
“She’s a bitch.”
Thayer heard every word. Severine wanted to hate him. But it was hard to when it was a move she would’ve done herself.
With her hands tucked deep into her coat pockets, she walked past the couple. Her steps were careful, and she made sure to walk far from where he stood.
“When we get back,” Lily murmured, “take a shower and go to bed. Tomorrow you’ll feel better,” she promised.
No amount of promises could kick the fear that had taken up in her conscience. It was rooted deep and refused to leave. She had something with Macsen she needed. Doubts could snatch her thoughts from where she wanted to go, but the facts were clear. Severine’s armor was slowly being ripped away. One more cut, and she wouldn’t know what she wanted anymore.
Chapter Eighteen
“Lily! Answer your phone,” Severine shouted out.
“It’s not my phone, genius.” Lily moved across her bed, grabbed Severine’s phone, and chucked it at Severine’s head.
“I hate you so much right now.” Severine picked up her phone, trying to stop the annoying ringing. “Yeah?” she finally groaned.
“You’re still asleep?” Macsen asked.
“We got home really, really late.”
“I can tell.”
Severine could barely hear him over the sound of wind hitting against his phone. “Where are you?”
“I’m getting ready to pick you up and take you to get some coffee.”
“I look like shit,” Severine warned. As she stated the truth, she shuffled like an old woman across the room to grab some clothes and her toothbrush.
“Sev, I don’t care. I wanna see you. Did I mention coffee?”
“You know the way to my heart,” Severine grumbled.
Macsen laughed. “See you soon.”
“Sounds good.” Severine moved around as quickly as she could to get ready. Her normal routine was out the window, and she hurriedly put the bare minimum of makeup on, brushed her teeth, and yanked on a pair of black leggings and a loose white tunic. The girl that looked back in the mirror didn’t look half bad.
By the time she dropped her stuff off at the room, Lily was passed out and snoring. Loudly.
> Severine still nudged her. “Hey. I’m getting some coffee with Macsen. Do you want some?”
Lily made a face and rubbed at the eye crust near her eye. “Yeah.” She waved her hand in the air. “How are you not still out of it?”
Severine slid her arms into her purple, pleated coat, the only one in her closet that didn’t smell of smoke. She covered her messy hair with a black snowcap. “I have no idea.”
Still huddled underneath her sheets, Lily peered at Severine. “You doing okay, though?”
“Why wouldn’t I be? Just had too much last night.”
“I’m not asking about that.”
“About me acting like an idiot? Yeah, let’s just forget about that.”
“Ten-four.”
“No truck driver talk, please. Too early for that,” Severine called out from across the room, escaping the conversation before Lily became any noisier.
Macsen waited for her outside. She hurriedly walked over and got into the truck.
“Did you really just wake up?”
“Yeah. I just set a world record for getting ready.”
Sitting across from her with a sweet smile was what Severine needed to see. She leaned over to kiss him innocently and pulled back.
“Hey. You can’t do that and move away,” Macsen said with a grin.
Severine stayed in place, wanting him to kiss her again. When he did, his fingers wrapped around her neck as his tongue entered slowly. Everything about it teased her. Severine clutched at his arm and pushed him closer. His body willingly gave way. He moved the armrest up and clutched her hips tightly in his large hands.
Now wasn’t the best time for a kiss like this. Severine stopped caring the minute his hands lifted her sweater up and spanned her waist. The contact made Severine grab his face and move her tongue into his mouth hurriedly.
Macsen choked out a laugh and slightly pulled back. His green eyes focused on her face, and Severine let out a gasp as his hands crept towards the edge of her bra. For nine in the morning, it could easily become the hottest kiss.
“Hi,” Macsen pronounced leisurely. His fingers drifted across the lace of her bra. When it seemed like he was going to touch her further, he went back to teases.
