“You handle the shower. I’ll take puppy duty.”
She grinned and didn’t argue. He checked on the puppies and the kitten. Jinx had much more energy than the day-old puppies. They were really just grunting little lumps. Jinx, on the other hand, was starting to swat at anything that moved in front of her. Including Lilly’s tail.
The scene was a nice distraction from the idea of Hayley upstairs, naked in the shower.
He plopped one of the fat yellow puppies that had started waddling off back near his mama then eyed the stairs. “Think she’d be upset if I wandered up there?” he asked the dog.
He wanted to climb to the second floor and walk into her shower with her. He was fairly certain what his reception would have been.
But he didn’t, and it wasn’t fear that kept him away.
It was need. Need for something steady and real with her, instead of just a fling.
And that meant he needed to be patient, no matter how much the thought of water sliding down her body might draw him toward her.
He kept himself occupied until she came back downstairs. Her hair was damp and twisted into a loose bun.
“You’re not going to complain if I don’t do my hair, right?” she asked when she caught him staring at her.
“Do I look brain damaged?” He grinned and tugged her closer. “How does Iron Works sound for dinner?”
“Oh, they’re new. Pricey. I haven’t tried them yet.”
“Then allow me to remedy that,” he said mildly, offering his arm.
Chapter 25
THEY DROVE INTO town and she told him about her day.
“You can’t possibly be interested in the everyday stuff I do.”
“For you, it’s mundane and boring. But it’s all new for me. It’s interesting.”
She rested her head against her palm. “You really have changed,” she murmured.
He glanced over at her, the pale evening sun washing her face in gold and red tones. “So have you.”
“Funny, it doesn’t feel like it. I never really left, you know? Except for college, which doesn’t count because was only a few hours away for vet school.”
“You went to Cornell Vet School. It’s one of the best in the country. That’s impressive no matter how far away it was.”
She offered a shy smile. “Thanks.”
For a small town, the restaurant was surprisingly busy.
“Want to wait on the patio?” she asked
Cold traced down Cam’s spine. “I’d rather not.”
She smiled at him and there was a sparkle in her eye. “Oh, I forgot, southern boy has to get used to the New York evenings again.”
He grinned. “It’s ridiculous that it’s this cold here.”
“Honey, sixty-five isn’t cold. Wait ’til January. Or have you forgotten what minus fifteen plus wind chill feels like?”
He followed her into the restaurant bar. “I remember. I just don’t think I’m going to hold up very good.”
After they sat down at their table, ordered some drinks, and tucked into some warm bread, Hayley asked, “So what was it like? The Army, I mean.”
“I never know how to answer that question,” he said mildly. “Good. Fun. Stupid. All of the above, I guess.”
“That’s an odd sort of answer.” She swirled the deep red wine in her glass. “Do you ever regret joining up?”
Did he? No, he didn’t think he did. He wouldn’t regret joining even if it got rid of all the bad memories. Because the good ones were pretty good. “Not really. It was…I grew up a lot more than I might have otherwise.”
Hayley studied him for a moment and he shifted.
“It was a good way to get away,” he said. “Figure out who I wanted to be in life.”
“And you ended up back here anyway,” she said, taking a sip of wine.
“Yeah. I guess that’s kind of ironic, considering how badly I wanted to leave.”
“Not really.” She looked up at him, beneath heavily lidded eyes. “I’m glad you came back,” she said softly.
He smiled warmly. “You’ve definitely given me a reason to stay.”
He let the silence hang for another moment, enjoying the space and the quiet bustle of the restaurant. It was modern and classic all at once. Old brick mixed with black-and-white photos. The light from a dozen candles danced against the wall and they were close enough to the patio that he could see the fading daylight down the streets.
“What’s it like for a woman in the Army?” she asked.
“Well, having never been a woman in the Army…”
She slapped his arm and laughed. “You know what I mean. I want to know what Ashley’s been through.”
Cam shrugged. “I wasn’t around many women. I was in what we call a combined arms battalion. Infantry. Tankers. Artillerymen. Women weren’t technically allowed in those battalions.”
“What do you mean, ‘technically’?”
He took a deep pull from his beer. “Well, a combat brigade is made up of a support battalion that helps a company to provide logistics—fuel, food, medics and stuff—to support each maneuver battalion.”
“What’s a maneuver battalion?”
“The combat arms guys. The infantry and tankers and all the gunslingers. Me.”
She nodded and sipped her wine. He thought he might have been imagining it but the glass lingered near her lips and drew his gaze to her full pink mouth.
Cam cleared his throat. “Anyway, the support battalion has women in it, which is probably what your sister is in, and each battalion has companies assigned to each combat arms battalion. Because they still belong to their support battalion, the Army isn’t technically violating the rules of not having women in direct action units.”
She frowned. “That doesn’t sound entirely legal.”
Cam shrugged. “There’s no other way to do it. There aren’t enough male soldiers in the support jobs to insist on men only. Besides, the women hold their own.”
“So Ashley is with a, what’s it called, maneuver battalion?”
Cam heard the worry in her voice and shook his head.
“No. If I remember right, she’s a fuel company commander. So she’s running fuel trucks up and down the roads.”
“And that’s not dangerous?”
Cam almost snorted. The roads were by far one of the most dangerous places in Iraq and Afghanistan. The only thing worse was being downtown. He caught himself at the last moment, though. “I’m sure she’s fine.”
“And you were in one of those battalions?”
Cam nodded and killed the rest of his beer. Darkness had settled around the patio and shadows were now flickering over the sidewalk, creating dark pockets. “Yeah.”
“Is it hard being back?” she whispered. She must have noticed he’d faded a little bit there. When he looked up, her green eyes were full of concern and something that Cam desperately hoped wasn’t pity.
He took the out she offered, clinging to it. “Yeah. It’s nice being around you, though. But things have changed a lot. It takes some getting used to.”
She offered up a faint scowl and Cam wanted desperately to give in to the temptation to pull her bottom lip between his teeth. “Everyone around here is exactly the same as we were ten years ago.”
He couldn’t help it. He leaned in, close enough that he could see her pulse scattering beneath her skin.
She sighed beneath the stroke of his teeth against her earlobe. He didn’t give a second thought to the fact that they were in public.
She laughed softly and her fingers slid over his neck to cup his cheeks. “I’m glad you’re home, Cam,” she whispered. “I’ve missed you.”
He kissed her then because he would have been a fool not to. This was Hayley. The girl he’d loved since he’d been fifteen years old. The girl he’d hoped he’d marry. The girl he’d let go when he realized how much the Army had changed him.
He kissed her because he wanted a chance at getting that old familiar feeling
back. He kissed her because she was safe and warm and sex and love all mixed together.
He lost himself in her taste and the feel of her beautiful body and the sweetness of her kiss because this was Hayley.
And she was the only woman he’d ever truly loved.
Chapter 26
“COME HOME WITH me?” she asked softly at the end of their meal, her voice barely audible over the din of the restaurant. She sat for a moment, waiting to see what Cam would do next.
She was aching for him to touch her again. She moved then, sliding her hand over his. Heat sliced through her at the rough connection. She swallowed and lifted her gaze to his.
The darkness in his gaze was part pain and all arousal. It didn’t matter that he’d left her and ripped out her heart all those years ago. All that mattered was Cam, here and now. Alive and whole and erotic as hell.
Desire throbbed between her thighs when his gaze dropped to her lips. His nostrils flared as though he was trying to breathe her in. “What if this is a mistake?” he asked, his voice ragged and rough.
“It might be.” Her breath locked in her lungs. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want it.”
He turned his hand until his palm was flat beneath hers. “I can’t make you any promises.”
“I know that.”
His lips were a breath from hers, his palm hot beneath hers. She ached for the man he’d been once and for the tortured hero in front of her.
She wanted him. Scars and all.
Her fingers trembled as she raised them, skimming lightly over a scar on his forehead. She felt his hard intake of breath as she threaded her fingers into his hair, longer now than it had ever been in the military.
“Come home with me?” she asked again.
She waited and ached. Finally, he brushed his lips over hers, hesitant, questioning. Liquid fire shot to her core, the kind of desire that comes with that first kiss of a new lover.
But Cam wasn’t new to her and hadn’t been for a very long time. The next kiss felt different. It was darker and full of the promise of failure, and still, she leaned toward him. She slanted her lips open and traced his teeth with her tongue.
It took forever to get the bill and get on the road back to her place. They walked into her house and checked on the puppies and kitten. Pleased to see everything was in order, she stepped closer to him. His scent was warm and spicy.
She reached for him, unable to help herself, and stroked her fingers over the stubble on his cheek, amazed at the feel of his skin beneath her touch.
His lips brushed against hers in a hesitant kiss. She opened her mouth, parting her lips slightly. Her tongue sought the taste of him. He deepened the kiss, pressing his mouth over hers and leaving no doubt that he was still the man she sought.
He tugged her hair free of its tie and it tumbled over her shoulders. She felt his smile against her lips before he kissed her again, claiming her.
She’d never stopped caring about Cam. She felt for the man standing in front of her. The man who was kissing her and baring his soul.
His hand slid around her waist and pulled her flush against him. His body was firm where hers was soft and his hardness pressed into her belly and sent heat into her blood. His breath was ragged against her cheek when he pulled away, resting his face against hers.
“You shouldn’t get involved with me,” he whispered in a harsh voice.
She nuzzled his cheek, marveling at the rough stubble. “It’s too late for that,” she murmured.
“I can’t be what you deserve.” He stroked her temples with his thumbs, the sensation sending erotic electricity through her veins.
His eyes were dark and troubled, arousal the dominant emotion she saw warring there as he studied her. Her body throbbed in response to his nearness.
“Come upstairs with me,” she said instead.
The caution in his eyes sent a little warning bell off in the back of her mind. But the body beneath her fingertips vibrated with barely restrained energy.
She brushed her lips against his, suppressing a gasp when her nipples stiffened as they touched his chest.
And then they were in her bedroom. His mouth was on hers as she gave herself over to him. His fingers threaded with hers, squeezing her hand tightly, as if he were clinging to a lifeline. His tongue danced with hers, stoking the burn inside her.
Everything about him was still new. There was an unfamiliar power wrapped in his damaged skin. He was more confident in the bedroom, sexier, rocking his hips against hers until she thought she’d burst from the pleasure.
She slipped her hands beneath his T-shirt and felt his hot skin, rough with scars. She dragged her nails down his back and felt him shudder as he arched into her.
There was no light in the room, nothing but glimpses of skin as he dragged her pants and panties down over her hips. She shimmied out of her shirt and then reached around for her bra.
Cam stopped her, pushing his hips between hers and pinning her to the bed, her arms caught beneath their combined weight. She slipped her thighs up, circling his ribs, and waited.
“I want to be the one who does that,” he murmured, sliding his hands behind her back and slipping his tongue between her lips. He skimmed his palms over her ribs, taking her bra with them until she was naked beneath him.
The darkness heightened her sense of touch. The cotton of his T-shirt was soft against her belly, and the roughness of his jeans was hard against her sex.
“You’re so beautiful.” His breath whispered over her neck beneath her ear.
She felt worshipped as he ran his palms over her exposed flesh, teasing one nipple with the tip of his finger. She let him take the lead, surrendering to his touch. His lips trailed down her neck as he nuzzled the pulse at the base of her throat. He cupped her breast, plumping it in his palm.
She reached between them, flicking his pants open, and slipped a hand beneath the band of his jeans to stroke his erection. He jerked and pinched her nipple between his teeth at the sudden sensation, rolling his hips as she caressed him.
She pushed his jeans down with her feet and heard his boots thunk on the floor. Then she reveled in the feel of his chest hair crinkling against her nipples as she guided him to her pulsing heat.
She held him there, bracing his hips with one hand as she cupped his cheek. In the darkness, she held his gaze as she rocked against the tip of his cock, teasing them both with the gentle pressure.
She arched a little more, pulling him deeper inside her, but not allowing him all the way within her. He closed his eyes and she pulled back, pushing him with her thighs until he met her gaze once more. And she took him fully, deeply inside her.
He filled her, stretching her body with the sweetest friction. She squeezed him tight and held him there, deep within her. She cupped his cheeks with both hands, arching beneath him and urging him to slide out from within her before stroking deep once more.
He gripped her fingers, tensing for a moment. But as he filled her, his strokes quickened and Hayley surrendered to the pleasure. Deep inside her, Cam’s release shook them both, rocking her to the core of her soul.
She squeezed her knees around his ribs and rode the violent wave of desire that crashed through her at her peak, the orgasm tearing her soul free and joining it with Cam’s.
Chapter 27
SHE WAS ALONE. Though she was used to waking up this way, she’d distinctly remembered falling asleep in Cam’s arms.
It was the middle of the night and the house was quiet. She pulled on a robe and made her way downstairs. Lilly and the puppies were asleep in the living room, with the kitten curled in the crook of Lilly’s neck.
She found Cam sitting on the back steps. “I thought you didn’t like the cold,” she said, sinking down next to him.
“Couldn’t sleep.” He shifted and let her slide into his space. She rested her head against his shoulder, threading her fingers with his.
“What’s the longest you’ve gone without sleeping?”
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“A week.” He pressed his lips to the top of her head. “I started hallucinating. Saw snakes crawling across my boots in the middle of a firefight and almost shot my foot off.” He made a rough sound that might have been a laugh. “They took me to the docs then. Started on Ambien. Haven’t been able to sleep without it since.”
The last words were hushed, as though he could barely get them out.
She hesitated. “So why don’t you take one?”
He shifted and slipped his arm around her shoulders. “Not exactly great first date material if I start drooling on myself.”
She leaned into him. “I’d rather you sleep than worry about drooling.”
“Are you kidding? It’s the little things that break people up. One day you’re annoyed I can’t put the toilet seat down, next thing you know, you’ll be obsessed with the drool and I’ll find my ass kicked to the curb.”
She shook her head. “Sleep is kind of important. I don’t want you to start seeing snakes.”
“It only happened once,” he grumbled. “I’ll be okay.”
“You don’t sound sure.”
He made a noise. “I’m trying new things these days.”
“I have an idea,” she whispered. She slipped from beneath his arm and into his lap.
She wriggled closer, until she felt him start to stiffen where she rubbed against him.
“You have my attention,” he said.
She rocked against him, slowly twisting her hips, driving them both a little crazy. “I’ve loved you my whole life. From that first kiss on the back seat of the bus in kindergarten, I’ve loved you. I’m not going to stop just because you want me to.” She brushed her lips over his and felt him tremble. “All you have to do is hold on to me.”
He cradled her hips, urging her to keep moving, a gentle sway that drove her a little crazier. “How the hell are you still single?”
“Maybe no one could hold a candle to eighteen-year-old you and I’ve been pining away for you since you left.” She pressed a little closer and his eyes rolled back in his head. He groaned softly.
“I’ve clearly got some work to do if I’m ever going to live up to your expectations.”
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