“Hey, sis, Corinne and I are going to catch a movie and go to dinner. Order a pizza. See you soon. Love, Sage”
I turned off the phone after sending it, and tossed both their phones in the river as I drove over the bridge. This wasn’t exactly the way I planned for things to work out, but now that I was here, well, I was going to deal with it the best way I could.
I drove and drove, my mind racing, weighing all my options. It was important that I think of everything. I might not be innocent, but I knew the truth. And the truth would set me free.
The light would set me free.
I just needed to remember that and keep it close to my heart.
“Yes,” I whispered to myself, as I wound my way up the coast. I turned on my car stereo, hitting play on the CD, the music echoing through the car like a familiar lullaby.
“Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone…”
I closed my eyes briefly, letting the music and words flow through me, my mother’s voice filling my head.
“Wonder this time where she’s gone…”
As much as I missed her, as much as I wished she was here, it was better that Mother was gone. When she was here, I’d have done anything for her. I’d have done anything for her love. Now that she’s gone, everything I do — well, it’s all for me now.
“Wonder if she’s gone to stay…”
I couldn’t help but sing with her, the way she’d sing to me when I was little. She was always singing, her voice the only light I ever really knew.
“Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone and she’s always gone too long, anytime she goes away…”
I hated that it was me who made her go away. In the end, maybe it was better it was me and not someone else. She’d been sick, suffering. What else could I have done? I’d taken care of her for so long, hoping she’d get better. But she didn’t.
One day, I realized that she never would. And then, I knew. I knew that I needed to be the one to take the light from her eyes. I needed to be the one to pull the thread, just like that kitten she’d help me bury so long ago.
It was the most beautiful death I’d ever caused.
Watching the light fade from her eyes, knowing I was the one to take it, just like she’d been the one to give it to me. It was a beautiful cycle, really.
It was perfect.
Just like I’d been trying to show Frannie how to be. She’d get there. When she came to me, she was a mess. I saw her potential, though. If she’d only do what I’d say, she’d achieve perfection.
But she needed deep therapy, not the kind that could be accomplished in weekly fifty-minute sessions.
That’s why I took her home. She needed to be immersed, she needed to be shown examples of what it means to be a good mother. And no, my own perfect mother wasn’t there anymore, but it didn’t mean I couldn’t show her myself.
Now, I had these two to teach, as well.
I could only hope they were good students.
CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR
COLT
With each passing moment, my rage grew.
I drove way too quickly back to the house, hoping the girls had turned up once again, but Maddy stood out on the front porch, shaking her head as I pulled up.
A moment later, the rest of the Gods roared up.
“Nothing,” I said, half a question and half a statement to the other Gods.
“Alright,” Riot said. “I’m going to try to find out where this guy lives. Be right back.”
“Good place to start,” I said. What if he’d taken them? What if they’d just run off somewhere else on their own? They wouldn’t have just gone with him willingly, would they?
“So, Sage went to Mom’s shrink?”
“You knew about the shrink?”
“Yeah, it was in the journal,” Maddy replied.
“What journal?” I asked.
“Oh…Sage didn’t tell you, huh? That’s why she went alone?” Maddy asked, trying to piece it together.
“Maddy, tell us what you know.”
She shrugged. “Mom had a journal under her bed. She also kept a little bit of weed there, thinking I couldn’t smell it. I didn’t read all of her journal, because that’s just weird, but I did see she was writing about me when I flipped through it, so I read that part. She mentioned going to see this therapist named Leo and talking about me, and she was complaining that I was the only thing he ever wanted to talk about.”
“Why you?”
“She wasn’t sure. She thought it was weird though and she was going to stop seeing him,” she said. “This was weeks before she went missing, so I didn’t think anything of it. Sage must have found the journal.”
“Can you go see if it’s still there?”
“Sure,” she shrugged, going inside the house and coming back out a moment later.
“It’s gone,” she said. “Sage and Corinne must have it.”
“Well, that at least explains why they were there,” I said, trying to decide what to do.
“There’s something else,” Maddy said.
“What?” I asked.
She held up her phone. “I got a text. Two hours ago. It’s from Sage’s phone, but I don’t think it’s from her.”
She showed me her phone and I shook my head. “What makes you think it’s not her?”
“She never signs her texts with her name. I know they’re from her. Nobody does that.”
I nodded, taking it all in. “Did you call her phone again?”
“Yep. Goes straight to voicemail.”
Riot walked out, shaking his head. “Gonna take a hot minute to get his address. I got his phone number but that’s it.”
“Can we trace it?”
“I’m on it,” Riot assured me.
I looked over at Maddy, and it hit me. With Frannie, Corinne and Sage all gone, Maddy had nobody left. All she had was me.
I pulled her to me, hugging her close.
“We’re gonna find them, Maddy,” I said. “I promise.”
She didn’t need to see my anger, even if all I could see was red. She needed confidence, reassurance, stability.
“I hope you’re right,” she said, before pulling away. She looked up at me and then her eyes brightened. “Hey, I have an idea!”
CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
MADDY
“Let me call him.”
“Who?” Colt asked.
“In fact, let me go see him!”
“Leo?” I asked. “No fucking way.”
“Yeah, the guy’s like the black hole,” Slade said. “Or is it the Bermuda Triangle? Either way…poof!”
“Slade, what the fuck, dude?”
“I’m just saying…everyone who goes to see him has disappeared so far.”
“You can follow me,” I said, my heart racing. “It’s me he wants anyway.”
“How do you know that?”
“Mom said in her journal that all he did was talk about me, he wanted to know everything about me. She stopped short of telling him what school I went to, because she joked he might abduct me. She said he kept talking about his perfect mother and he insisted she read all these parenting books and suggested she go to classes, which she didn’t think she needed.”
“Did she? Need the classes?” Ryder asked.
“No,” I insisted, truthfully. “She’s a great mom. A normal mom. She doesn’t need classes. She said he seemed obsessive. Sounds like she was right.”
“It does,” Colt agreed. I looked up at him, pleading. I could tell he was thinking about it. “Let me call. Lure him in. Then, I’ll go to his office and see if he leads us to them. Maybe they’re all together now?”
They had to be together.
This had to work.
It just had to. There was no other explanation.
There was no other acceptable conclusion.
Maybe I could save them. If I had to give him what he wanted — me — then I’d do it.
I just needed my family to be okay.
CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX
SUNNY
Previously, I had one very big problem. Now, I had three very big problems.
And two of them were going to wake up soon, unless I took care of them.
It was best to consolidate, I decided.
I turned the car around and headed home, the early afternoon sunshine pouring into the car. It felt good to have a change from the dreariness. I couldn’t help but think it was a sign.
“Hey, Ma,” I said, smiling. She was everywhere and nowhere, all at once. Even in death, she surrounded me, illuminating me with her warmth, using her favorite vessel to break through the thin veil of the dead — the sun.
Though, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was judging me today. If she’d been judging me the last few weeks. I didn’t want to disappoint her.
All I ever wanted was to continue her legacy.
She was perfect.
She deserved to have a perfect son, don’t you think?
“You know you put the sunshine in my life, don’t you, Leo?” she used to ask. If I closed my eyes, I could see her clear as day now, softly murmuring to me as she held my hand and looking lovingly into my eyes — her eyes. “Your Daddy may have named you Leo, but you know you’re my Sunny. You’ll always be my Sunny…”
God, I missed her so much it hurt.
Sure, I said I was doing all this to please myself, but I can’t deny the truth.
Mother rules my every move.
Mother’s love.
Mother’s acceptance.
Mother’s approval.
I’m nothing without it.
“Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone,” I sang softly to myself. “And she’s always gone too long, anytime she goes away…”
My phone rang just as I pulled up to my house. I pulled it out and didn’t recognize the number calling, but I knew I’d answer it anyway. Business had been slow lately and I could use the new clients. Especially now that I had these three very big problems I needed to deal with.
I jumped out of the car and ran around to the trunk as I answered the phone. “Hello?” I said, as I popped the trunk open.
I looked down into it, Sage and Corinne both snugly tied up and lying just where I’d left them, both of them still passed out cold.
“Leo?” The voice said. “My name is Maddy. I’m Frannie’s daughter.”
“Maddy?” I said, my heart skipping a beat.
“Yeah,” she said. “I think we should meet. I have some information I think you might want.”
“Is that so?” I asked, my head spinning. This had to be a trap. But it was Maddy…
Temptation ripped through me, threatening to obliterate all good sense I had. I’d begun this entire journey, just trying to do right in the world. I wanted to make sure a family had the support they needed, and I tried so hard to do things the right way. I tried to follow protocol. But sometimes, you have to resort to unorthodox methods.
All I was ever trying to do was save Maddy.
A young girl I’d never met.
But now…she was on the phone asking for the very thing that I’d grown to believe was forbidden. The one reward that I’d never be given, no matter how hard I worked.
I was only trying to save you, I wanted to say to her. I yearned for your happiness. I sacrificed for your happiness.
All these thoughts went through my head as I held the phone to my ear, gazing down at Sage and Corinne passed out in my trunk, knowing Frannie was locked away inside the cabin…and it all made my head spin.
“Okay,” I said to Maddy finally. I’d agree and figure it all out later, I decided. “One hour.”
“One hour,” she repeated. “I’ll meet you at your office.”
She hung up the phone and I stood still for a moment, the realization of everything hitting me at once.
If I fucked this up, I’d be ruined.
But what if I didn’t?
What if my wildest dreams come true?
CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN
MADDY
“Are you nervous?” Colt asked, while Slade and Riot taped a wire to my back.
“No,” I said. “Well, maybe a little. I’m mainly pissed, to be honest.”
“Yeah, me too,” he replied, his jaw twitching.
“I just have a feeling they’re all with him. Or, he knows where they are. I mean, if my Mom were dead, I’d feel it right?”
“I think so,” Colt said. “Definitely.”
I paused, comforted by his presence.
“You really like my sister, huh?” I asked. Slade flashed him a look but didn’t say anything. Colt ran a hand through his curls and nodded.
“Yeah, I really like her,” he admitted.
“That’s cool,” I replied. “She likes you, too. She’s usually not spontaneous or anything. She’s planned her whole life out meticulously. She doesn’t really do anything dangerous, you know? She must really like you to do…all of this.”
I gestured around us. The Gods all worked around me, doing who knows what to prepare for my little adventure. They’d hooked me up to a microphone so they could hear everything, but they’d insisted on putting a video recorder poking out from inside the pocket of the shirt I was wearing, too. They even put a GPS locator in my boot and gave me an extra phone to hide inside of it. All of it was connected to Riot’s computer.
“You guys do stuff like this all the time, huh?” I asked Colt.
“I guess,” he said.
“But, like, you save people?”
“Sure,” he shrugged. “If that’s what’s needed. A lot of the time it is.”
“What do you do with the bad guys?” I asked.
He looked down at me and laughed. “I guess whatever we see fit.”
“So, you’re like…murderers and killers?”
“We can’t answer that,” Slade interjected. “If we did, we’d have to kill you.”
“Yeah,” Riot joked. “And we try to make a point to not kill anyone under the age of fourteen.”
“Whew,” I replied. “I barely made it.”
“Watch your back, though,” Blade said. “You’ll be fair game next year.”
We all laughed, the comic relief very welcome. I realized I was a lot more nervous than I thought, but they didn’t need to know that.
“All set?” I asked, as Riot pulled the back of my shirt down.
“Yep,” he said. “All set.”
“Okay, then,” I said, standing up. “Let’s do this.”
I rode in Ryder’s SUV, Colt and Riot in the backseat, Slade, Wreck and Blade following on their bikes. They stopped a few blocks away and then Ryder pulled up about a block away and around the corner from Leo’s office.
Ryder turned to me, his calm demeanor like a strong, steady stream.
“Maddy, you must love your family very much,” he said.
“Of course,” I said.
“So, I know you think you need to save them, but I want you to know that you don’t have to do this. There are other ways of making this guy talk.”
“I know, but I don’t want to do anything to risk him hurting them.”
“That’s a risk we’d have to take. I can’t imagine your Mom would approve of this.”
“I don’t care,” I said, lifting my chin. “I need to do this. I’m doing this,” I nodded, firmly.
Ryder looked at me and nodded. “Okay. So we’ll be able to hear every word you say. If you need immediate removal from the situation, you just tap on the microphone three times in a row. Got it?”
“Yep,” I said. “All good.”
Colt leaned up, his eyes searching mine.
“Don’t hesitate to call for help, Maddy. We’re going to be right behind you at all times.”
“I won’t,” I said. “Thanks, guys. For everything.”
I slid out of the car, closing the door behind me and heading down the sidewalk and towards Leo’s office.
He was waiting for me when I walked up. He paced in front of the door of
the building, but when he saw me he stopped, his eyes crawling over my body as he drank in the sight of me. It made my stomach turn.
“Maddy,” he said, his voice almost breathless.
“Hello, Leo,” I said. “Thank you for seeing me.”
He looked over my shoulder, his eyes darting past me nervously.
“I came alone,” I assured him. “I figured everything out on my own. Can we talk?”
His eyes searched mine for a moment and then he nodded, “Yes, please come in.”
He gestured to the door of the building and I walked towards it.
“Forgive the state of my office,” he said. “It appears I had a break in this afternoon. They don’t appear to have taken anything.”
“Perhaps you should call the police,” I said, stepping over the splintered remains of his office door.
“Perhaps,” he said, sitting in his chair and gesturing for me to sit across from him. An eerie silence fell over the room and I stared at him after I sat down.
“So,” he said, “you have some information? Is that what you said?”
“Yes,” I nodded. “About my Mom.”
“I see,” he said.
“And my sister.”
He nodded again, his eyes squinting at me.
“Maddy, I’m sorry but there are laws…”
“—laws that prohibit you from talking about your patients, yeah, I know.”
“I see, then you’ll understand that I can’t tell —.”
“— I don’t want you to tell me anything. I want you to listen. You can do that, can’t you?”
“Certainly,” he nodded.
“Good,” I said, forcing my trembling voice to stop quivering. I swallowed hard, swallowing my fear. “I think my Mom was in love with you.”
“Maddy, I…” he shook his head, his eyes dilating.
“I’m not finished,” I said. “She wrote about you. In her diary. I think she was even a little obsessed with you. She said you didn’t know, that she didn’t show her feelings to you, but she couldn’t stop thinking about you. She said it was so bad, that she was going to have to stop seeing you.”
He looked at me, hanging on my every word now.
CHASING SUNSHINE: GODS OF CHAOS MC (BOOK THIRTEEN) Page 18
