by J. P. Scott
“What do you mean? More than just a friend?”
Aaron turned his head to the side. “Do I really need to spell it out for you? Jacob…he was my boyfriend.”
Patrick blinked. “You dated him?”
“Well, I’m not sure it was really dating. No real dinners together or going to movies. Fooled around and tried not to let anyone find out was more like it.”
Of course, Aaron would have had boyfriends before him, but Patrick was having trouble wrapping his head around the fact that Aaron had been with his brother. “Wow, what a small world.” He laughed nervously.
“Yeah. I can’t believe it myself.” Aaron’s hands were shaking and he set the glass on the coffee table. “I was afraid to tell you.”
“There’s no reason to be afraid.”
“Well, isn’t it weird?”
Patrick thought for a minute. Knowing that his boyfriend once was with his brother. Was it weird? Just a few days ago he had thought he might be dating his brother. He had debated whether or not it would be strange to continue with that relationship.
“It’s not like you knew we were brothers.”
This did not appear to calm Aaron’s worries.
“Maybe I’m being crazy. But what if I feel attracted to you because you remind me of him somehow?”
Patrick thought about Aaron’s question. Was it possible that Aaron saw something of Jacob in him? They were half-brothers. There must be some similarities even if they didn’t grow up together. There would be traits of their father encoded into both. Aaron could be attracted to some part of them unconsciously.
“Tell me something. When you first saw me, did any part of you think about Jacob?”
Aaron shook his head.
“At any time since we have been together, have I reminded you of him? Have you thought about him?”
“No, not until today.”
Patrick stood up and grabbed Aaron by the hand and indicated that he should stand up as well. The embraced and Patrick squeezed Aaron tightly.
“There’s nothing that will convince me that you are attracted to me because of someone you had a crush on years ago.”
First loves were certainly important, but Patrick did not put them on the same level as a long-term relationship as an adult. If Aaron and Jacob had dated for a long time, maybe even lived together, then there might be some concern that Aaron was trying to find a replacement for love.
Aaron slowly squeezed harder. “I do love you, Patrick.”
Patrick ran his fingers through Aaron’s hair. It was soft, and he enjoyed combing it when they cuddled together in bed. He loved the warmth coming from Aaron’s body and the solidness pressing against him. It felt real and comforting in a world that had been filled with uncertainty and chaos.
“I love you, too. And I promise you, there is great happiness ahead for us. Our life is not going to always be filled with drama.”
Aaron laughed. “You promise?”
“I promise.”
Twenty
Patrick and Aaron tried not to think about their DNA results over the next week and a half. When one of them caught the other checking email, they joked that a watched pot never boils. The results would come when they were ready, and there was nothing they could do about it beforehand.
Well, almost nothing.
Aaron told Patrick about Jacob’s family. One day, they hopped online to do some research to see if they could find what happened to his mother. Was she still in Flagstaff? Had she married? Did she have other family? Even through Adam’s social media, they could not get much knowledge about her. They found her through Jacob’s profile, but either she never posted, or she had her settings to prevent anyone from viewing anything she did unless they had the friend connection online.
The spent an afternoon trying to search her name online to see if they could find out any other information, but they came up short. Aaron sent some messages to other people he knew from high school who were still in Flagstaff to see if they knew anything. If they couldn’t find any trace of her, the results from the DNA kit would be their only hope of making a connection.
The question still remained what Patrick would do if he did find Jacob’s mom and any other relatives. Did he want to meet them?
The search for Aaron’s dad also proved to be a dead end on the limited information that they had. It was as if he disappeared from the planet when he cut ties with Aaron’s mom.
Patrick found Aaron crying in the bathroom after his shower one day.
“It’s going to be okay, babe.”
“I just wish I could get this all figured out and be done with it. I feel like it has consumed me.”
It had consumed them both.
“What if we don’t take this any further?”
“What do you mean?”
Patrick let out a long breath. “Well, we’ve both made it through many years without knowing about these other people. They haven’t played a significant role in making us who we are. Do we need to find out more? Do we need to meet them and continue to upend our lives?”
Wrinkles spread across Aaron’s forehead as he tried to understand Patrick’s point. “Aren’t you curious about who these people are?”
“Curious, yes. I think it would be one thing if Jacob was still alive. I would want to get to know him and learn what it was like to have a brother. But what difference does it make if I meet his family. They are people that I’m not related to.”
Patrick had wrestled with the thought of what he would gain from knowing these other people, and he couldn’t come up with a reason that really motivated him to push hard to find them. Maybe someday there would be a reason. Or maybe they would reach out to him if they ever wanted to search for Patrick’s father and the family he had.
“That might work for you, but there is someone out there that I’m related to. If my dad got married to someone else and had a family, then I have half-brothers or half-sisters out there.”
Their situations were different. There was an incentive for Aaron to find out more about his father. There were blood relatives on the other side.
“And I promise to help you find them. I’m here to support you.”
Aaron stepped in front of Patrick and put his hands on Patrick’s chest. “Let’s put this topic to the side for a bit. There’s nothing we can do about it now. And sometimes I think that it is coming in between us. We need more in our relationship than this to continue to stay close.”
“I agree. It’s just hard to not think about it.”
Patrick felt Aaron open one of the buttons on his shirt. “Maybe I can distract you for a bit.” He continued down Patrick’s chest slowly undoing each button. Once he was halfway down, he slid a hand through the opening and began to rub Patrick’s chest and the shaved hair that populated his pecs.
“You know I love a good distraction.” He leaned in and their lips met for a kiss. As they kissed, the world melted away around them. Patrick worked to undo the rest of his buttons and slid the shirt up over his shoulders. It slid down his arms and dropped to the floor.
Patrick’s hands found Aaron’s sides and his fingers slipped in under his t-shirt. He massaged Aarons’ sides with his thumbs, feeling the soft skin and the hard muscles. He worked his way up, taking the shirt with him, exposing Aaron’s abs. He picked up the speed as he moved upward and swiftly moved the shirt over Aaron’s head and sent it flying across the room.
Sparks ignited between them as skin touched skin.
The locked lips again and sent their hands groping each other’s bodies.
Patrick felt himself swell in his pants. He had been in need of a distraction for some time. His cock was hard and ready for whatever Aaron had in mind. He reached down to Aaron’s crotch and began to rub the hardness he found there. Aaron was equally ready. He undid the top button of Aaron’s jeans and unzipped them as quickly as he could. He needed Aaron naked and free of clothes. The two of them worked to push down the jeans and underwear until Aaro
n could step out of them.
Patrick knelt down in front of Aaron and grabbed his shaft with his hand, stroking it slowly. He looked up to Aaron who was looking back down at him with hunger. Instead of taking the tip of Aaron’s cock in his mouth, Patrick turned his head and went in underneath, searching with his tongue and lips for Aaron’s balls. He found them and sucked the left one into his mouth. The skin was smooth from a recent shave.
“Fuck, that feels good.” Patrick continued to stroke Aaron’s cock as he hummed and sucked on the ball sack. The cock throbbed in his hand as he continued to move his tongue around and explore Aaron’s body.
“Get on the couch.”
Aaron moved over and sat down on the edge. He leaned back until his head rested on the back and pulled his legs up, hooking his hands under the knees. He knew what Patrick wanted. He let his legs fall to the side so that his ass was open and on display.
Patrick moved to the couch, licking his lips in anticipation. He loved the sight of Aaron’s ass. He groaned the moment he saw Aaron’s hole clench and pucker. He moved in, aiming his tongue at Aaron’s hole and began to flick, trying to hit as many sensitive spots as possible. He could feel Aaron tilt his pelvis so that Patrick could get a better position.
He worked Aaron’s hole, getting it wet and relaxed. His own cock throbbed with excitement. Patrick knew that the head was wet with precum. He was enjoying pleasuring Aaron.
Then a thought popped into his mind. Something that could heighten the fantasy of the moment. But it was something that Aaron might not be comfortable with. Should he say it? Or should he let the moment just be what it was?
He moved from rimming to taking Aaron’s balls into his mouth again. He sucked on one and worked his tongue over the skin before releasing it and taking the other one.
“Oh, god. God, that feels good.”
Patrick loved the feel of Aaron writhing on the couch, trying to enjoy the pleasurable feeling but also unable to stand the intensity of the of what was shooting through his body. They had been doing more cuddling than fucking, and it felt good to be back in the rhythm of becoming one with each other.
“I could do this all day.”
“I’m not sure I could handle that, but I’ll try.”
Patrick took Aaron’s cock in his mouth and move his hand against Aaron’s hole, rubbing his thumb with the wetness he had left. He could feel the muscles relax as Aaron desired him to do more.
The fantasy hit him again, the feeling stronger than before. Should he just keep it inside of him? Or should he tell Aaron and hope that he wanted to play along? Something about it felt so wrong, but that wrongness made it so exciting.
“Something’s on your mind.” Aaron could sense his distraction. “What is it?”
“You might think it’s crazy.”
Aaron laughed. “What? We’ve done crazy things with sex before.”
Was there anything crazier than when they had sex thinking they were brothers? Not being bothered by the potential blood relationship? Could there be something else that was equally as crazy that someone crossed a line?
“I want you to do something. But I’m scared to ask.”
Aaron rested his legs on Patrick’s shoulders. “You ask me anything.”
“I don’t know. This seems like it might go too far.”
“Whatever it is, it has you really excited. Tell me.”
Patrick let a few moments pass before saying, “Pretend that I’m Jacob.” He could feel Aaron’s body tighten. “See, I told you it might be too much.”
Aaron shifted so that his legs fell down to Patrick’s side and he indicated that Patrick should move closer so they could look each other in the face.
“I didn’t think it would be hot at first, but I got into the idea of fantasizing that we were brothers. I thought this might be a new spin on it. You said you fooled around. I didn’t know if you had ever….”
“We made out a lot and jerked each other off. But we never did anything beyond that.”
“But you wanted to.”
“Of course. We were kids and didn’t know what to do or how to do it.” Aaron looked intently into Patrick’s eyes. “You’re serious about this?”
Patrick touched the side of Aaron’s face. “If you don’t want to….”
Aaron closed his eyes for a moment and then whispered, “Yes, I want you to fuck me, Jacob.”
Patrick’s cock was already against Aaron’s ass. He pressed into him and felt Aaron’s muscles give in, letting him slide into him. The saliva was dissipating, but he managed to get in. Patrick worked spit up in his mouth, leaned back, and aimed for the spot where his cock was entering into Aaron. He spat three times and pushed himself in and out.
“Oh, god.” Aaron’s eyes had rolled back in his head and his eyelids flittered with each stroke. Patrick hoped that he was picturing Jacob in his mind.
He couldn’t explain why he found the fantasy so intoxicating. The idea of seeing Aaron with someone else had crossed his mind. He wouldn’t be surprised if at some point they played around with a third or with another couple. But there was something else about the idea that the third person was Patrick’s brother. A brother that had once been Aaron’s boyfriend.
He knew there was still pain in Aaron’s heart for the loss of Jacob, even if it was years ago. Their relationship had been cut short. They had not experienced what it was like to fall in and out of love at a young age. There was a piece of Jacob with Aaron, even if Aaron didn’t want to admit it.
As he thrust into Aaron, he found himself knowing his brother in a way that no one else would help him. It was a part of Jacob that was more intimate and personal than how good he was at sports or theater. It wasn’t what kind of grades he got in his classes. It wasn’t what he liked to watch on TV. It was knowing what kind of man he was attracted to and wanted to love.
Patrick and Jacob were the same in that regard. Everything else could be different, but they loved and wanted the same man. If he could love Aaron and make him happy, maybe this could atone for the life that was tragically cute short. Patrick could be the man that had sparked the feelings of love for Aaron as a teenager and love him the rest of his life.
He knew he was close to coming. The intensity was building inside of him. He thought about stopping and pulling out. There were so many other ways that he could pleasure Aaron until he was ready to fuck him again. He was worried that when he came, the fantasy would be over. He wanted it to last.
But he climaxed and shot his load inside of Aaron who clawed at his back.
Patrick pulled out as he softened and caught his breath. He looked at Aaron and was surprised to find Aaron was looking back at him with a devilish grin. He worked his way off the couch, grabbed Patrick’s hand, and led them to the bedroom.
“On the bed.” He pointed to a spot where Patrick should lay crosswise on the bed instead of resting his head on the pillows. Aaron retrieved lube from the nightstand and slathered his cock. Patrick knew he was about to get a pounding and mimicked the position Aaron had taken on the couch. He hooked his legs with his hands and spread himself.
Aaron did not mess around with foreplay. There was no sucking or licking. He did not rim Patrick. Instead, he found Patrick’s hole with the tip of his cock and thrust inward, not waiting for Patrick to relax.
“That’s it. You’re going to take my cock.”
The forceful was surprising but also arousing. Patrick liked it when Aaron was rough. Knowing that he was turned on by the idea that he was fucking Jacob instead made it even more exciting.
Aaron began to pound with fury. Something had opened inside of him, letting emotions erupt that he thought were long gone. His forgotten desire to be with Jacob had been reborn and he was claiming Patrick’s ass.
Patrick opened his eyes and saw that Aaron was not looking down at him, but was looking off to the side. He turned to look and saw that Aaron was looking in the mirrored closet door.
“You see him, don’t you?”
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Aaron growled and pounded harder. He was indeed seeing Jacob in the reflection, not Patrick. He was glad that he had not kept this fantasy a secret. When Aaron slowed for a bit, he looked at the reflection more intently, trying to imagine what Aaron saw. To his surprise, he knew he saw something else. Instead of Aaron on top of him, he saw Jacob. His brother was the one driving into him.
“Fuck.” He felt his cock swell again at the thought. He normally needed a bit to get hard again, but here he was getting turned on by the thought. They were having a threeway, even if it was just in their minds.
Aaron continued to pound until his breaths shortened and he let out a scream. Patrick felt his own cock throb as Aaron emptied into him. Wetness covered his stomach and chest.
Aaron collapsed next to him, breathing into Patrick’s ear. “I…I….” He could not finish his thought.
The curled into each other and slept. Each had satisfied a desire and had received what they needed. When they woke, the fucked some more. This time, Aaron called Patrick by his own name. Neither looked in the mirror or thought of anyone else but the man they were with. The past has been moved behind them, and now they were solely focused on what was in store for their future.
Twenty-One
“We are never going to get in.” Cam strained to see down the line of people standing outside a club in New York. Cam had insisted they all go to this particular spot. He had heard it was the new hot spot.
David was looking at his wrist and noting how much time had slipped by while they waited in line. He had tried to talk sense into Cam about going to a dance club when they all wanted to hang out and having some drinks. They had passed several other bars that had seemed perfect. They were busy, but not overcrowded. Here they were standing in line as the night moved on.
“Maybe we should go somewhere else.” He tried to get Cam’s attention, but he was ignoring David.
Jeremy and Ollie looked at each other. They had both wanted something less intense and with an earlier bedtime.
