I’m a fuck up, and I don’t know how to fix it.
“YOU CANNOT RUN FROM him, Inessa,” Konstantin murmurs as I walk into my bedroom and pull out a suitcase.
“If I stay here, he’ll come in and he won’t take no for an answer,” I explain.
Konstantin wraps his hand around my bicep and stops my movement. I freeze and look up at him. His kind eyes are on me and they look sad. I’m not used to this from him. I’m used to the flirty smiles and the heat in his eyes, not sadness.
“You cannot run. It isn’t safe,” he whispers.
I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat, wishing I were somebody else—anybody else. My bottom lip trembles, and I suck it in before I nod.
“Konstantin,” I whisper. He pulls me in for a hug. It isn’t anything sexual, it’s friendly and comforting. “Nobody wants all of me. Nik only wants me when it’s convenient, but nobody wants me,” I whisper against his chest.
Not even a second after I’ve whispered the words, Konstantin is ripped away from me and I am staring into the angry, tight, red face of Dominik.
“Dominik,” Konstantin warns.
Dominik turns to him and presses his hand to his chest before walking him out of my bedroom. Less than five minutes later, I hear my apartment door open and close before Dominik is back in my space.
“You think this? That nobody wants you?” he asks, staring down at me, his face inches from mine.
“It doesn’t matter,” I sigh, sliding my eyes to the side.
Dominik cups my cheek with his hand and guides my face back, tipping it slightly so that I am forced to look at him. There is obvious and apparent pain in his eyes, and I don’t know what to do with that. I bite my bottom lip and continue to just stare at him. His blue eyes are focused on mine and searching my face.
“You’re mine, Inessa. The rest of this shit doesn’t matter. You matter to me, and I want only you,” he murmurs. He says it so sweetly that I almost believe every single word he’s spoken.
“You only want me, but you won’t only be with me. Isn’t she expecting you?”
“Dammit, it’s not as easy as you think, yagodka,” he hisses.
“We cannot be together. Not when you’re engaged, and definitely not when you’re married,” I state, meaning every single word, even if my body wants him so badly it aches.
“Have my baby, Inessa,” he whispers.
“Dominik,” I warn.
He lowers his face and runs his nose along mine, inhaling me as he does. Then his hand drifts from my neck and slowly caresses the side of my body until he wraps it around my waist, his mouth moving to my ear.
“Nessa, my yagodka, be mine and have my baby,” he rasps. “You do this, then the wedding is off, the contract is void, and we can be together.”
“Do you love me?” I ask on a whisper.
“I don’t know you well enough to know that. Inessa, we have time to figure it out if you have my baby,” he explains.
“I can’t have your baby. Not like this. I need to know you love me. I have to know that this is real. I’m not going to bring a child into a relationship that I don’t know will last a week, a month, or a year. Then I’ll be alone with a baby,” I whisper, taking a step back from him.
“We’ll never know if we don’t do this. Larisa is selfish, she’s a whore, but she’s not as stupid as I thought.”
“Please, just go,” I murmur.
“Fuck that. Fuck, no. You’re mine,” he grinds out. “You think I’m going to let you run off, marry some other man, and make his babies? You’ve got another fucking thing coming.”
Wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me into his chest, he crushes me against him before his head slants and his mouth slams against mine. His kiss is hard, brutal, and unrelenting, just like he fucks me.
I close my eyes tightly, loving every second of it. Stupidly, I lift my arms and dive my fingers into his long hair, holding onto the strands and pressing even more into his body.
“You don’t leave me. I won’t allow it,” he murmurs as he backs me up against the bed.
Suddenly, he moves to the side, and I glance over to see him regard my suitcase. Then, he picks it up and throws it across the room. It smashes against the wall and the few items I packed are now strewn all over my bedroom. I squeak and jump at the action, my eyes wide and terrified as I look back to Dominik.
“You don’t fucking leave me,” he announces.
Dominik’s hands reach out and grab my hips, his fingers digging into me through my clothes, and his face dips so low, our noses touch.
“I’ve had enough of this shit. I’ve let you keep your distance, but now it’s over. You’re not going to kiss another man, you’re not going to touch another man, you’re not going to marry another man, and you sure as fuck are not going to give your cunt to another man. It’s all mine; it’s all been mine since the moment I laid eyes on you, and don’t you dare try to deny it,” he growls.
“I’ve never been yours,” I whisper the lie, hoping it sounds true. He throws back his head and bursts out into laughter before he rights himself and digs his fingertips into my hips even harder.
“Yagodka, my cock has been the only one inside of you since I pinned you up in Yakov and Ashley’s house before they even bought it. You’re mine, you’ve been mine, it’s just now I’m telling you out loud.”
I press my lips together, because he’s right—one hundred percent correct—and I hate that. I also don’t even want to know how he knows he’s so right.
“You think I’m going to let go of the woman in my bed, the only woman who’s ever come inside of my apartment? The woman who takes my cock like no other woman ever has? The woman who has sweetness and softness? The most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on—you think I’m going to let you go traipsing around the city without at least checking up on you from time to time?” he asks, answering my question.
“But you didn’t know who my uncle was,” I point out.
“I didn’t know a lot about you, Inessa Kovlova, but I knew all I needed to know at the time. And that was that your pussy was mine, and mine alone,” he rumbles.
I don’t get a chance to say anything else. His lips touch mine, and when they do, I accept him, all of him. I’m crazy and stupid, but I’ve fallen in love with him. It doesn’t mean that I accept him, it doesn’t mean that I’m just going to do as he wishes and have his baby. It just means that I’m going to be stupid right now. It means that I have zero self-control when he’s with me.
Tomorrow will be different. Tomorrow, I’ll stand up to him. Right now, I want him too badly to stand my ground.
I can tell by the way she’s kissing me that she’s going to relent to me tonight. I can also tell that she hasn’t relented completely and that I still have work to do with her. I don’t have time to do it, though. The wedding is fast approaching, and I need her knocked up before then. Both she and Pavlov are not going to like what I’m going to do, but I could give a flying fuck. Yakov told me to stop being a cunt, so now—I stop.
I undress Inessa quickly, then I rip her panties and bra off before I kiss down her neck and to the tops of her gorgeous breasts. She reaches out and wraps her hands around my biceps as I lift her breast and suck her nipple into my mouth, my eyes aimed at hers as she lets her head fall back with a long moan.
Fuck, she’s so damn sexy.
I let my hand fall between her thighs and slide two fingers inside of her. She doesn’t need instruction. She rides my fingers, grinding her clit against my palm, searching for her pleasure. I’ll never deny her her pleasures. Not ever. She won’t like what I’m going to do to her after tonight, but she will always be physically satisfied by me. She’s too beautiful when she comes not to be.
“Nik,” she whimpers as her legs shake.
I suck on her breast a little harder, reaching up to pinch her other nipple with my fingers, giving it a slight tug before I thrust my fingers a bit harder and faster inside of her. Then I fee
l her pussy clamp down around me, and she sucks in a breath as her legs completely give out. I quickly move my hand from her nipple to wrap around her waist, holding her as she comes undone in my arms.
Keeping my fingers inside of her and my thumb pressed against her clit, I pick her up by the waist and carry her over to her bed.
“Will you take your clothes off?” she asks huskily—her eyes dazed, glazed over, and fucking beautiful.
“Yeah,” I murmur, pulling my fingers out of her and taking a step back from the bed.
I take my clothes off, every stitch, and I don’t break eye contact with her for a second as I do. I watch as her eyes take me in, how she gazes at my chest, my stomach, and then my cock before she brings them back up to my face.
“Your tattoos are so beautiful,” she whispers. I close my eyes tightly for a second before I open them again.
“No, they aren’t,” I grunt.
Then I watch as she climbs to her knees and reaches out for me, wrapping her hands around my waist before she pulls me closer to her. I suck in a breath when her hands travel across my tattoos, tracing them with her fingers and studying them.
“They all mean something, right?” she asks. I nod.
“What does this mean?” she asks as her fingers trace the dagger that appears to be lodged in my neck, the hilt on one side and the blade coming out the other.
“It means I’ve committed murder and that I can be for hire if needed,” I admit truthfully. Her eyes widen and her mouth opens in a little O at the new knowledge.
“What does this church mean?” she asks, running her fingers down my chest where I have several domes on a very Russian looking church etched into my skin.
“The domes are the years in prison I’ve served,” I grunt.
“Prison?” she asks, unable to hide her surprise.
“Not a choir boy, yagodka,” I grin.
“I didn’t realize you’d been in prison,” she whispers.
I pick her up by the waist and drag her across the bed before I settle down on top of her, nestling my hips between her warm center. I don’t speak as I rear back and bury myself inside of her tight cunt, still wet from her orgasm. I wrap one of my hands around the back of her knee and wrench her leg up and out, falling deeper inside of her, my other hand wrapping around the side of her neck.
“I went to prison when I was thirteen years old. I’d fucked up, gotten caught, and ended up a boy amongst men. I was prime to be abused, but one man stopped all of this. He saved me, and in turn, I gave him my life. I pledged my allegiance to him and to the Bratva. I was not born into the Bratva, but the Bratva saved me, so I will forever be grateful to it,” I explain as I slowly fuck her, making her breath hitch with each thrust of my hips every time my cock fills her.
“Thirteen?” she asks. I watch as tears fall from the corners of her eyes, landing on the pillow beneath her head.
“I made the decision to marry Larisa while I was still locked up. I was earning respect and climbing ranks all while being inside. I didn’t think about the future, all I could think about was the fact that they were offering me a prize, a woman who would stay at my side, no matter what happened. I was young and horny. By the time I realized who she was, it was too late, so I’ve been putting it off.”
Fuck, she feels good. Each time I sink into her wet heat, it feels like the first time. It feels like fucking home.
I don’t say anything else. I’ve probably said too much already. I take her. I look into her eyes, and I take from her. When she throws back her head and cries out, I know she’s giving what she can to me right now. I come a few minutes later, a few thrusts into her cunt before I completely let go. No baby was made this time, but next time it could be possible. She’s not taking another pill.
“Dominik,” she whispers against my ear after I’ve buried my face in her sweet neck. I don’t respond, so she continues. “I think I fell in love with you the second I saw you in that damn Tudor driveway of Yakov’s.”
I don’t move, my body frozen, my dick still inside of her heat, my face in her neck. I breathe and I wait. Nobody has ever said these words to me, and I don’t know how to feel. My chest swells inside, my heart beating rapidly as if it is the first time it has ever beat before.
“But we can’t do this. You must claim your prize. Your wife who will fall in love with you the way I have. She’s meant to be yours,” she whispers.
I can’t help myself, and I burst into laughter.
I wrench my head out of her neck and I look down at her, my cock slipping out of her at the uncontrollable laughter.
“It’s not funny,” she whispers with wet eyes.
“It sure as fuck is, yagodka. It’s hilarious that you could think of Larisa as any kind of prize. You’re the prize, Nessa. The way you look at me, like you’re doing now, like I am this wonderful man, this strong man,” I murmur. “Larisa is not a prize, she’s a fucking sentence. I’ve been to prison; I don’t want to go back. Giving her my name, having her live in my home, providing for her, and putting my children inside of her would be a fucking life sentence.”
“Nik,” she whispers. I shake my head, all joking aside.
“I can’t tell you that I love you. I’m so fucked up; I don’t even know what that means. I can tell you that I’ll take care of you, always. I can tell you that you’re safe with me, because I’ll always protect you. And I can tell you that I’ll never regret being at your side, not ever.”
“What about other women? Can you tell me that you’ll never fuck another woman?” she asks.
I stare at her. I take in her gorgeous face. She’s so absolutely stunning—every inch of her. If I could love, she would be who I choose. But I don’t know if I can ever stay faithful in the way that she wants me to be. I’ve never tried, because I’ve never needed to.
“So I’m to accept you as I’ve always accepted you, except to have a family with you and live with you?” she asks with a shaky voice.
“You’ll be my wife, yagodka.”
“Your wife that turns the other way when you come home smelling like another woman.”
I don’t answer her because she’s correct. Instead, I lean down and take her lips with mine. I kiss her until her stiff body relaxes beneath me, and then I shift to the side and tangle my legs with hers before I wrap my arms around her.
“Sleep, Nessa,” I murmur.
I ignore the sniffle. I ignore the tremble in her body. It doesn’t matter if she agrees right now. Come tomorrow, she won’t have a choice. She’ll hate me for a while, but she will get over it. I don’t have time to play games—to woo her into agreeing to be the mother of my child—we start tomorrow.
MY EYES OPEN WHEN I feel Dominik shift beside me, his heavy weight lifting from being curled around my body the entire night, cocooning me and keeping me warm. I liked it—no, I loved it. Having this man in my bed was not a burden by any stretch. He was always warm, always touching me, and I always—always—felt safe with him. Even when I was pissed at him.
“What time is it?” I ask groggily.
“Four. Go back to sleep,” he murmurs.
“Why are you awake at four?”
“Work. Doing shit I should have done last night,” he grunts.
I roll over to face him, the sheet slipping down, exposing my breasts. Dominik’s eyes shift so that they’re completely focused on my bare chest, and he grins.
“Are you trying to entice me back to bed?” he asks.
I reach for the sheet to pull it back up, but his hand flashes out and he pulls it down further, exposing me down to my knees. I suck in a breath as he crawls over to me. He’s naked, and his cock bobs with each move he makes, my eyes adjusting to the room as I watch.
“Spread those gorgeous thighs, Nessa,” he rasps.
Without thought, I do as he asks, spreading my legs wide. He stays on his knees, moving closer to my center. I gasp when his hands wrap around my waist and he drags me up his thighs, my shoulders on the bed, but m
y lower half suspended and sliding up his thighs.
“Nik,” I whisper as he slowly fills me.
He then falls over me, his hand braced on the bed, his arm straight and elbow locked tight, his other hand wrapped around my hip as he fucks me. Damn, does he fuck me. I whimper, my eyes watching him, his head tipped down and his eyes watching himself sliding in and out of me.
“Play with yourself, yagodka,” he murmurs, his focus still on the way his cock is moving.
I reach down and stroke myself, bringing myself closer to the edge. Dominik groans, and it’s like it moves through me, making me hotter, making me climb that much closer to the brink of my climax.
“This pussy, it was made for me, Inessa,” he says through a clenched jaw. It’s the way he says it, the way he’s watching, and the way he completely consumes me that sends me careening right over the edge and into pure bliss as I come all around him.
“Fuck,” he bites. He thrusts his hips roughly, harder, and stays planted as his neck arches and he lets out a low groan of pleasure, his release filling me as he does.
Dominik’s arm buckles, but he shifts gently and falls around me, making sure not to fall onto me with all of his weight. He shifts my hair from my face and his eyes search mine. Then I watch as something washes over his features and he looks almost—sad.
“Dominik?” I ask. He shakes his head once, closing his eyes for a moment before he opens them again.
“You’re not going to like me much, but I’ll take your anger in order to have you from now on,” he murmurs. His cock is still inside of me, but I tense at his words.
“What did you do?” I ask as I press my hands against his chest, a chest that doesn’t move.
“It’s for us, Inessa,” he says.
“There’s no us,” I counter.
I hold my breath when his face dips a little lower, and he moves inside of me a bit deeper, making my breath hitch.
“There’s an us. This cunt is mine, and you’ll do good to remember that from now on. You leave this apartment, and I’ll handcuff you to your bed, naked,” he says as he pulls out of me and stands at the side of the bed.
Tempting the Badman (Russian Bratva #5) Page 8
