He pulls me in to his side, resting his head against mine. “God won’t allow it. He’ll intervene.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that the casualties will be great, Zeke. You know it.”
“I do, but let’s not focus on that tonight. I want you in my arms.”
“I’m in your arms.” I chuckle, despite the major shift in subject matter. No matter how necessary of a conversation the upcoming battle is, tonight, it can wait.
“Then maybe I want you under my body instead.”
“Now that, I can get on board with.”
He shifts so he’s back on top, kissing the base of my neck.
“Yes,” I whimper. “Keep doing that.”
He doesn’t obey, instead moving down my body, lifting my shirt to continue placing kisses across my stomach. I squirm under his touch, but don’t dare move.
“Sit up,” he commands, and I do.
He removes my shirt and bra in one move, leaving my chest bare and at his disposal. His mouth wraps around one nipple, nipping and sucking. It feels so good. Good enough to distract my mind from wandering to places I don’t want to go.
After the night we had, I plan to get lost in the comfort that only Zeke can offer. No more thoughts of Luke and demons. Right now, in Zeke’s arms, I’m going to bask in the pleasure he’s providing.
You’re Somebody Else
My back slams against the cold concrete building in a dark alley outside of the bar we just left.
A bar. Who am I even?
Luke’s tongue begs entrance to my mouth, and I give it willingly, moaning in response to his expert abilities. I don’t want to even think about how much experience he’s had to provoke such pleasure.
Luke holds my hips pressed against him as his tongue massages mine. I love the feeling. All of the intense emotions felt here on Earth are overwhelming. Every touch I feel to my bones. Every kiss sends my stomach free-falling. I’m on the verge of tears and I have absolutely no idea why. Pure joy is the only explanation I have.
This night is everything I never thought I needed but wouldn’t be without now that I’ve experienced it. It’s been all I hoped for. What I fell for.
We spent the night dancing, bodies pressed tightly together, our lips fused, cementing our budding relationship.
Budding. I laugh to myself. We’re so far past that. It’s as if I’ve known Luke my entire life. He makes me feel things that I never thought possible.
“I’m never letting you go, Victoria.” He says my name like a prayer, and butterflies take flight in my belly at the reverence in his voice. “I’m going to love you until the day I die,” he vows, and I smile, feeling his words in my soul, because I feel the same way.
The hairs on the back of my neck stand erect, signaling danger is close by. Apparently, there are some things that even falling can’t take from me. Demon radar being one of them.
“What’s wrong?” he whispers, placing a kiss on the curve of my neck.
“Something’s coming. Something dangerous,” I explain, and he doesn’t appear bothered in the least.
“It’ll be fine, Victoria. Stay here with me,” he croons.
The certainty in his voice and my eagerness to please him has me relinquishing my concern and giving myself over to him for safekeeping.
I’m lost in the feel of his hands wandering my body when I’m jerked out of his grasp. My body is hurled toward the ground, and I smack hard into the asphalt of the alley floor. When I look up, two glowing red eyes meet mine. Feral and out for blood.
A demon.
I scramble back, unsure what defenses I still possess. I just fell this afternoon, and I lost my blade in the process. A feeling of absolute helplessness invades my troubled mind. How can I save us?
Internally, I berate myself. I’m still a celestial being. That’s something that not even the fall can take away from me. These creatures have crumbled under my touch for centuries. While I’m busy psyching myself up for this fight, the demon lunges toward me, dagger in hand.
I yell out, curling into a ball, trying to protect myself, but the impact I expect never comes. My arms fall to my sides, and when I look up, dread fills me completely. The air is sucked from my lungs and my heart stops.
“Luke?” my voice wavers, eyes opening and closing, trying desperately to unsee what’s laid out before me.
Luke—my Luke—is hovering off the ground, a pair of raven wings protruding from his back. His eyes are the color of night, and his face is twisted in a menacing glare that has even the demon cowering. In a voice unrecognizable to me, he instructs the demon to go back to Hell, and it obeys. Its head lowers and it slinks into the shadows, reprimanded and submissive.
Luke’s gaze turns to me and I know.
“Lucifer.”
My hands fly to my mouth, covering my pathetic moan of guilt and betrayal.
“Victoria.”
My head shakes back and forth violently as my hands cover my ears to drown out his deceitful words. Never allow the devil to whisper in your ear; you’ll fall victim every time. I’m proof of that.
With a flutter of his wings, he disappears, leaving me alone in the alley.
I curl back into a ball, weeping, praying to God to end my existence.
His mercy never comes.
Zeke’s phone blares to life from the nightstand, jarring us both.
The memory of the night I fell makes me sick. I fly from the bed, falling to my knees at the base of the toilet, spilling the contents of my stomach. I heave as my diaphragm clenches. Bile trickles from my lips.
I’ve repressed the truth for so long. Luke was Lucifer in disguise. The ultimate trickster convinced me to fall in the false name of love. The reminder of my idiocy has me hurling into the porcelain god again. When I think I’m finished, I lay my cheek against the lid and try to get my racing heart under control.
As much as I want to come clean to Zeke, I’m not ready. I haven’t admitted to anyone that I fell for the devil.
“What?” Zeke’s hard tone filters into the bathroom, drawing my attention and giving my mind a short reprieve. “I’ll be there within the hour. Be ready,” he says, before everything goes quiet.
I stand, making my way to the sink. Looking in the mirror, I cringe at my reflection. Clammy skin and an ashen complexion stare back at me. My hands press into the cold counter as I continue to inspect my face. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. A once beloved angel of Heaven has been reduced to a sick-looking girl, hardly fit to walk Earth. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I want to rage at Lucifer for making me this pathetic girl.
What would that accomplish?
I grab a towel from the counter and wipe my mouth roughly, then quickly brush my teeth and swish with mouthwash. All to buy myself some time to pull it together. When my body is finally done shaking, I walk back to meet Zeke.
“Are you okay?”
“Fine. My stomach is just a bit queasy. No big deal.” I try to brush it off, but Zeke’s narrowed gaze tells me he’s not buying it. “Where are you going?” I push forward, sounding tired and weak.
“Blaine’s group has more questions. They showed up here last night, but we were already gone. I need to fill them in on what happened in the cemetery. It’s likely we’ll encounter arcs again.” He purses his lips in thought. “They need to know the whole truth.”
I sigh. “Do you think there will be repercussions from Heaven for telling them?”
He runs his palms over his face. “We’re going to need more than two fallens to take on whatever’s coming, Tori. What other choice do we have? The archangels are inconsistent with their help. We can’t rely on them. We’ll all die anyway.”
I hate to admit that he’s right. Whatever war is upon us, we’ll need all hands on deck. The human men have proven to be decent allies, but will they be enough?
“Leeanna barely allowed me to fight next to her. What do you think she’ll do if humans get involved?”
“I’m not worri
ed about Lee. She’ll do what’s best for Heaven and Earth.”
“You have that much faith in her after everything?” The edge in my voice seems to strike a nerve. Zeke’s eyes darken and his lips form a hard, straight line.
“We’re not talking about Lee, Tori.”
My teeth clench and my hands ball into fists. The need to rage is so intense that I can feel my face heating with all the pent-up anger. Inhaling and then exhaling, I bring myself under control. It’s not only this conversation that has me ready for a fight. My dream is playing a key role, and because of it, I don’t want to go down this path. It’s not relevant to the issue at hand.
“I think it’s time we start looking for other fallen angels.”
Zeke groans. “There are none. I’ve looked.”
His total disregard for my suggestion does nothing but reenergize my ire.
“Maybe they’re better at hiding than you are.”
He turns on me, red-faced and completely unlike Zeke. “Why am I never good enough for you, Tori?”
“W-what?” I ask, slinking backward, trying to put as much distance as possible between us. Zeke’s reaction to a simple statement is so unlike him. The day has gone downhill ever since the mention of Leeanna’s name, and I have to question why. Why does the mention of her elicit such an intense negative reaction, still?
“I never said that,” I say, voice rising to meet his.
“You might as well. You insinuate it all the fucking time.” He takes two giant steps toward me, and I step backward in response.
My hands come up to forestall his advance. “Please stop. You’re scaring me.”
His glare retreats, regret left in its place. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“Is this all because I mentioned Leeanna?” The question is asked before I can consider whether I really want the confirmation. I already know, but hearing him say it will sting even more.
He grimaces, and that confirms it. “Don’t bother,” I say, turning my back and bending to retrieve my shirt. I pull it over my head, shielding my nakedness from Zeke, needing the armor.
“Tori, please. I’m struggling.”
My hands come to my hips. “You’re struggling? From what, Zeke?
“Everything,” he grates. “Your reason for falling. Our run-in with the arcs.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me. Now you want to bring up my reason for falling? How about you just admit the damn truth?” I spit the words. “Let’s not sugarcoat what really has you all bent. This is all about your feelings for Lee.”
His face falls, and a small portion of my anger disintegrates at the look of utter self-loathing in his eyes. “My feelings for you are . . .” He runs his hands roughly through his hair, which I’m coming to find is a habit of his. “It’s intense. I don’t know how to handle it. It’s more than what I ever felt for her.”
“Don’t,” I say, shaking my head and grinding my teeth. “Don’t pretend this is about you and me.”
His shoulders slacken and tears—freaking tears—well in his eyes. I don’t know how to handle this side of Zeke. I’ve only ever known the strong hunter. The relentless pursuer. The intense lover. This side of him is something entirely foreign.
“It’s everything, Tori. Since I fell, there were only two emotions plaguing me. Lust and anger. Since you came into the picture, it’s so much more. It’s suffocating me.”
“More? What more is there?”
“Love, Tori. I fucking love you.”
I stagger back at his admission. Our physical arrangement just began. Love? That’s out of the damn question.
The lust and anger I get, but love? No matter how many years we’ve spent on Earth, the range of emotion that’s been foreign to us for centuries is hard to control at times. When you’ve gone lifetimes not feeling a thing, being on Earth can be overwhelming and all-consuming. Especially when you feel everything so acutely.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Zeke lectures. “You don’t get to pretend that you don’t feel something more for me. You practically took my head off for being away for two damn days, Tori. You obviously care.”
I do. I care a lot. There’s no questioning that. It’s the love part that has me speechless. I’ve only felt a strong pull to someone one other time, and it was all a farce. It’s hard for me not to question my own feelings when they’ve failed me so epically in the past.
“Whatever this is,” I say, gesturing between the two of us, “it’s something. But love? I’m not even sure I know what that feels like.”
He takes a giant step toward me, grabbing my hands in his. “I’m not asking for you to love me back. Not yet. I only want you to be open to it.”
My heart swells at the sincerity and hopefulness I see in Zeke. It gives me faith that my days on Earth can be so much more than I ever dreamed. I can build a life here. One to be proud of, despite what Heaven thinks. Maybe those thoughts are Earth making me foolish, but I’m not going to question it. Almada said I have a new path, and damn it, I’m going to be the one to forge it. At least the parts I can.
“One day, I might be open to it.” I say, drawing the widest smile from Zeke.
He picks me up, swinging me around. I chuckle at the sensation, all the while instructing him to put me down. When I’m placed back down on wobbly legs, he places a kiss on my mouth and whispers, “You’ll love me one day.”
He pulls me back onto the bed, into his strong arms, searing me with a kiss that makes me lightheaded.
“You’ve got it bad, Kincaid.”
“You have no idea,” he growls into my lips, and I smile, loving that for now, he’s mollified. Thoughts of his feelings for Leeanna have disappeared for the moment.
I kiss him harder, savoring the energy that flows between us. If we were both powered up, I’d deepen our connection and light the damn sheets on fire. To prove whatever is building between us is worth more than whatever he had with Lee. It’s ridiculous and childish, but it can’t be helped.
He groans. “I have to go. I won’t be long.”
“Stay,” I beg, knowing full well he can’t. Something is brewing, and we need to be in front of it. Getting the humans ready is important.
“Think you can whip up a storm today?”
I smirk. “Hail and all?”
“The bigger, the better,” he says, placing one last kiss on my mouth. “I need to recharge, and so do you.”
“I’ll work on it.”
I finish getting dressed while Zeke does the same. I’m pulling my Nikes on when he speaks.
“Tori, I know you’re still thinking about Lee, but you know that’s over, right? I’ve proven that you’re it for me, haven’t I?”
After what I witnessed last night, I couldn’t deny that a very large part of me knows he’s not being honest with himself. A larger part wants to believe that his reaction was only to her randomly showing up. I’d have the same reaction if it were Luke.
“I do,” I say, knowing that it doesn’t matter either way, because there is no chance for Lee and Zeke given their stations. He fell and she stayed.
Right now, heavy conversations aren’t a good idea. I need levity. I need to get back to the flirtatious camaraderie we had going before we took the nose-dive into Leeanna territory.
Self-preservation kicks in out of nowhere, and I’m standing up straighter, fixing my hair—for some ridiculous reason—and taking a deep breath to change tack. I won’t allow myself to go down this tragic road of pathetic.
“I know you’re mine. I was just hoping we could cement that fact by spending more time in bed.” I go for his jugular. I’ve already stooped to insecure—might as well run the gamut to seductive. Why the hell not. Seems like a good time to let my feelings take me on a wild ride to crazy town.
He grunts. “I’ve waited for two years for you to say that, and I’m not even able to bask in my winnings.”
Much to my surprise, I’m feeling better already. I make a mental note to look for a the
rapist. ASAP.
“I was also kind of hoping for round two of shower sex,” I continue to goad, unexpectedly emboldened.
“You’re killing me, English.”
“Angels don’t have last names.”
“We’re playing at mortal, babe. Last names are essential here.”
“And you went with Kincaid?”
“It’s a strong name. Ezekiel Kincaid.”
I giggle at his territorial attitude about his name. As sad as it is, it makes me feel wanted to have him spend his time talking to me. It’s inane, but it’s something I’ve never had. A companion. Someone to just shoot the shit with. Zeke has become that person for me. The one I want to share silly news with and spill my deepest secrets to. With the uncertainties I’m feeling, his absence will be felt twice as acutely when he finally leaves. I don’t want him to go.
Good grief, I’m pitiful.
From the giggle that’s far more girly than tolerable to the flip-flopping moods, it’s becoming clear that Earth has made me a mess.
Who am I even?
“When I get back, we’re staying in bed for days if we can.” Zeke’s voice brings me back to the conversation at hand.
“Ordering food and watching a boatload of movies too.”
He grins. “Wouldn’t have it any other way, angel.”
I flinch at the moniker, and thankfully he doesn’t notice. It’s what Luke had called me, and the thought leaves sourness behind.
“I’ll be back in an hour or so.” He places one last kiss to my cheek before leaving me to myself in the loft.
That nickname has me thinking about things I have no business thinking about. Not after everything Zeke just shared with me. I need a shower, and then I need to drum up a storm to revive my powers. The need to run is intense but eclipsed by the thought of running into Lucifer. He was near. I could feel him.
I’m not ready to face the king of the damned. Somehow, I managed to escape the hound unscathed the last time I ran the trails, and I’m not about to press my luck.
Lucifer spared me.
I shiver at that reality. It’s the only explanation. Hellhounds don’t show mercy unless given direct orders. He also scared off the archangels. No matter how badly I want to dissect that, I have work to do. Satan, Lucifer, king of Hell, Luke—whatever the heck you want to call him—would only bask in the idea that I am thinking of him.
Fear The Fall: Fallen Hunters Series Page 10
