“Victoria.”
That voice.
It crawls over my skin like a million tiny spiders, but it isn’t unpleasant, and that makes me instantly nauseous. Did my thoughts the other day conjure him? Because he’s here and there is no doubt he’s come to collect sooner than I expected. I am not prepared to see him, so I remain with my back to him. Not the best position to be in, but I have to trust that after everything, he’d give me a fair fight.
“Lucifer,” I grind out, pushing as much indignation into my voice as I can muster without giving myself away. My legs are wobbly, and my entire body is quaking inside.
“Lucifer?” he asks, sounding almost insulted.
I feel him closing in on me until his chest is inches from my back. He doesn’t touch me, yet every fiber of my being tingles, electrified. I can feel his warm breath tickle at the base of my neck. Perfidious goose bumps form all over.
“What? No more Luke?” he whispers into my ear.
My eyes slam shut at the onslaught of sensations his nearness causes. My body tenses and my hands ball into fists as I attempt to keep the emotions at bay.
“What do you want?” I murmur back, keeping my eyes closed, praying for this moment to end.
“He’s not listening, love. He never does,” he says, proving he’s entered my mind.
“Get out of my head,” I grate through clenched teeth.
He spins me around so that we’re face to face, our lips so close that if I leaned in only a fraction, they’d touch.
It wouldn’t be the first time.
My eyes meet his intense gaze.
“I didn’t send those demons after you.”
Such an odd conversation starter. Of all the things left unsaid between us, that’s not where I thought this would begin.
“Why should I believe a word you say?”
“You have to know I’d never let anything happen to you. I saved you from the demons, zombies, and those pathetic excuses for angels,” he seethes. His eyes search mine, looking for something I refuse to give him. “I’ve never stopped thinking about you, Victoria.”
“Stop saying my name,” I yell, feeling out of control and vulnerable for the first time in two years. “You’re evil. You’re vile,” I say, clutching my head.
“You chose to fall. You did that all on your own,” he says, sounding wounded, but I’m no fool. He’s the king of deceit. I won’t fall for it this time.
“You lied to me,” I sneer. “You tricked me.”
He pulls me closer to him, our chests touching, and the heat that runs through me is so intense I almost buckle under the weight of it. It’s pleasure manifested, and I hate that he can make me feel this way. I hate that after everything, I still want to be in his arms.
It’s his demonic power over me. Nothing more.
“I’m the only one who can make you feel whole,” he says, and I don’t react to the fact he’s still in my head. “That fallen angel you’ve decided to shack up with can’t make you feel the way I can. Do you think I don’t know what you’re doing?” he fumes. “If he were here now, I’d tear him limb from limb. I wouldn’t end his life slowly. Not after what he’s done.”
“He didn’t do anything. You’re here because he has something you don’t want him to have.”
He nods. “True. I suppose you know me too well.”
“I don’t know you at all.”
“Let’s not lie to each other. I know you and your body—well, most of it—very well.”
“You’re disgusting.” My teeth grind together and my hands ball into fists at my side.
“No, love. Territorial.”
I bark a deranged laugh. “You don’t own me, Satan. I’m with Zeke now. Deal with it.”
“Where did he run off to?” Luke says, a knowing smirk plastered on his face. “Did he tell you about his little hookup with the Nephilim?”
“What do you know about the Nephilim?” There’s only one girl in the group I’ve met, and it was pretty obvious at our first meeting she didn’t like me on the spot. I try to rein in the sudden surge of jealousy, because it doesn’t matter. Luke’s knowledge about what Zeke might be hiding is more important.
“We aren’t skipping the gritty details of your boy’s line of love affairs. It’s too good to not discuss.”
“You know what? It doesn’t matter. I pushed him away for too long. What he did during that time isn’t my business.”
“Tell yourself that, love. I can practically taste your jealousy.”
“I’m not jealous. It’s me he sleeps beside.”
Luke chuckles. “Then you won’t be at all mad that he’s known from the beginning who she is and what she is. Along with her band of Nephilim.”
My blood boils. “How do you know this?”
“I know a great deal, Victoria. Stick around. I’ll blow your mind with all my knowledge.”
“Leave,” I command, turning my back on him and preparing to summon the storm so I can take out my rage on the demons of New Orleans.
He huffs, “Calm down. He’s not with her. He has some unfinished business with a certain archangel.”
He’s not in my head for once, which is obvious by how badly he’s read me. It’s knowing that he’s been lying to me about the Nephilim, and for much longer than twenty-four hours, that bothers me. And that he lied to me about where he was headed.
“How do you know he’s meeting Leeanna?”
“I had a minion follow him. Apparently, the angel is not very happy with him.”
“Stop following Zeke.” I’m not sure why I’m defending my current Judas, but I don’t like Luke poking around my business, and Zeke and his lies are definitely my business.
“He’s not good enough for you.”
“And you are?” I yell, sounding more unhinged by the second.
“I can make you feel better than anyone on Earth, Victoria.”
“You have an unfair advantage, Satan,” I snap back, feeling more out of control every second I’m this close to him. “Given you’re prince of lust and lies, I’d say it’s all smoke and mirrors. Nothing about our time together was real.”
“I’ve never lied to you. It was the truth you couldn’t handle.”
“You mean the truth about you being the devil,” I screech, wanting to run away—anywhere to be far from him.
“It doesn’t change that everything I said to you was fact. I’d have done anything to have you by my side, Victoria. You could’ve ruled with me.”
“Stop,” I say, clutching my ears to drown out his lies. “Just leave me alone.”
“Look at me,” he says, grabbing my hip with one hand and my chin with the other, forcing me to meet his incensed stare.
I glare, hoping that every single ounce of hate I bear for him seeps from my eyes and burrows deep into his blackened soul. Assuming he even has one.
He swallows and I watch as his Adam’s apple bobs. Against every molecule of my being, my insides melt at the simple motion. Every word he’s spoken makes me quiver with want. My body screams for me to give in to him, and I hate it. I tear my eyes away, wanting to punish myself for being so easily manipulated.
“You got what you wanted. I fell, Luke.” His nickname slips too easily from my lips, and his eyes close, something serene passing over his face, making me loathe him even more. He doesn’t get to relish in my weakness. “What else do you want to take from me?”
“I don’t want to take anything, Victoria. I simply want what I once had,” he says, green eyes penetrating my every defense.
“What?” I say, sounding more tired than anything else.
“You.”
I let out a bitter laugh. This dance between us is exhausting and demeaning. The fact that one profession of possession has a sense of peace falling over me proves that I’ve learned nothing. I’m a glutton for the devil’s deceptions. I yearn for them. I might as well throw myself at his feet, offering my body as his concubine. I’ve fallen so far from grace.
“Go,” I whisper, internally begging him to show me kindness this once.
He flinches, taking a step away from me, leaving me feeling colder than I have in a long time. I feel his loss so deeply, I almost beg him to hold me again.
“I’ll go, Victoria. But this isn’t the end. You owe me a debt.” He disappears without another word.
Nothing has changed. I’m pathetic. He still holds my heart in his hands, and that truth alone makes me sick. I wish he’d end this cruel captivation and crush the worthless organ once and for all. I’ve been an empty shell for two years. Putting me out of my misery would be a kindness. Another one he owes me.
First
Right after Luke did yet another disappearing act, the storm I’d been working on finally gave, reenergizing me. I did an hour HIIT workout, cleaned the loft, took a shower, paced the floor, and finally gave in and called Zeke. His voicemail picked up and I didn’t leave a message.
I’ve avoided calling out of sheer guilt—a new emotion for me. I don’t owe anything to Zeke, especially given his secrets, but I do feel guilty in general for the way I acted when Luke appeared. I didn’t conjure him, but I didn’t push him away either. A part of me wants to continue to lash out and blame Luke for my actions, but he didn’t do it. I felt no magically engineered pull. He didn’t cause me to act like I did. That was all me, and I’m ashamed. I all but humped his damn leg, the need for his touch so strong.
I’m ashamed because after everything, I still haven’t learned my lesson.
Everything is different with Luke. When I’m around him, he sucks the air from my lungs, while simultaneously serving as my oxygen. The strong emotions have been there with Zeke too. Butterflies, tingles, all of it. The pull I feel to each of them is night and day.
Where Zeke’s my calm, Luke’s my storm. Zeke soothes, while Luke’s pull threatens to undo me. One is safe and the other puts me in free fall. At least, there had been a sense of security with Zeke, up until Leeanna forced me to examine Zeke without the rose-colored glasses. I didn’t question my feelings for him, because I believed they were genuine. With Luke, I second-guess everything. Is he manipulating me? I question it because he has the ability to do such things. Now, both of them have me second-guessing myself.
My head and heart are at war as I battle my yo-yo thoughts.
“Ugh,” I yell, and the force of it echoes off the walls.
My phone rings and I jump toward it. Zeke’s name lights up the screen, and I can’t answer it fast enough.
“Where are you?” I say, forgoing a simple hello. He doesn’t deserve it right now.
“Hey, gorgeous. I’m on my way to Savannah.”
“Savannah?” I bark. “Georgia? Why?”
“One of the hunters you met at the death house got a tip. Apparently, there’s a coven in Georgia that knows what’s happening and I’m going down with Chad to shake them down.”
“You mean Nephilim,” I correct harshly.
“Yeah, well, you know. Old habits.”
“That was a really fast talk you had, if you and Chad are on your way to Georgia. I thought you were headed to Blaine?”
“Maeve intercepted me before I had time. She said I had to act fast.”
“Maeve? The redhead?” I shriek, wanting to come through the phone and single-handedly beat Zeke senseless.
“That’s the one,” he says hesitantly. “But she’s not coming along. I’m meeting back up with her when I get back.”
“Great,” I manage to muster through my haze of rage.
“To debrief with the whole group, Tor. Please trust me.”
Trust.
It’s funny how such absolute truths can be crushed in one instant. I trusted Zeke with my life, and he literally stomped on that trust and doesn’t even realize I know.
“Where were you before?” I sound like one of those insecure girlfriends who is always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I hate it. That’s not what this is. This is calling him—well, trying to—on his shit.
He groans. “Running errands.” Lies. “This is the first chance I’ve had to call you.”
My stomach rolls, knowing that he’s leaving out the part about seeing Leeanna. The secrets keep adding up. All of the insecurities I’m feeling boil over, and tears well in my eyes. These damn human emotions are for the birds. I wipe the tears away roughly and decide to call him on it.
“Are you sure you weren’t with Lee?”
“Baby, stop. What’s this all about?”
Now he’s diverting.
“Were you with her?” I press, needing him to come clean. Withholding this key piece means he’s not to be trusted, and that will break me.
The line is quiet for a second, only managing to stress me out further. “Yes. But only because she asked me to meet her to discuss the humans—Nephilim.”
“What about them?” I cluck my tongue and wait for him to explain.
“She stressed that they could only know so much. It was a warning.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that to begin with?”
He sighs. “I know she’s a sore spot right now. I didn’t want to leave with us on bad terms.”
“You lied to me. I know you’re hiding things, Zeke.”
“Please don’t do this. You know you’re the only one I want.”
These new emotions are too overwhelming. They’re creeping in on all sides, and I’m about to burst. “It’s not about that. Don’t you get that I know you’ve known about the Nephilim this whole time? I know you lied to me and you just keep lying, Zeke.”
Putting myself out there like this is making me feel vulnerable. My heart is pounding and my stomach is flopping. Caring for someone is the worst in moments of uncertainty. Will he own his mistakes and offer understandable and forgivable reasons? Or will he continue to bury what could’ve been between us under his mountain of deceit?
His harsh sigh gives me hope that he realizes it’s time to own it. “You’re right. I’ve known for a long time. I didn’t say anything because I couldn’t. Leeanna and Michael told me. They said if I helped get the army of Nephilim trained and ready to fight, they’d consider allowing me—us—back in after the war.”
I gasp at this revelation. “W-what? They did?”
“Don’t get your hopes up, Tori. We have a long road ahead of us.” He takes a deep breath. “I’ll tell you everything when I get back. But right now, I need to focus on the task ahead. When Maeve got the call, it was stressed that time was of the essence. The coven is planning on going into hiding. I’m sorry, baby. I can’t have this conversation right now.”
My chest deflates and a random tear drips down my cheek. Those teen girls on TV have nothing over my weak ass. I cringe at the truth in that. Elation and irritation war for prominence in my jumble of emotions. I don’t want to wait to have this talk. I’m desperate to know everything about this deal with Leeanna and Michael. Could there really be a chance of going home?
“I promise. We’ll talk as soon as I get back.”
“Fine,” I concede. “Zeke, be careful. Call me when you know something.”
I don’t want anything to happen to Zeke, no matter what’s going down. I can’t do this alone, and despite the current situation, I care about him.
“Promise. Get some rest, Tori. I’ll be home soon.”
Home.
Everything is changing. He’s calling me baby and referring to my loft as home, but considering there are still major secrets between us, none of it feels right anymore.
We’re nowhere close to having our shit figured out. A future with Zeke sounds like a fantasy concocted in some romance novel I’d never read. Now that there’s talk of getting back to Heaven, the idea seems ridiculous. Why start something that has no happily-ever-after for us? Would I even still want that if it was possible?
I’m angry, and a lot needs to be worked out. There’s no sense in torturing myself until Zeke gets back. I need to get out of here for a bit. Zeke isn’t the only one who
can dig for answers. I have my own connections to local covens, and chances are, answers are closer to home than Zeke realizes.
Before I go chasing leads, I need to get my shit in order, and I need to live a little for me if my time here could come to an end soon. I suit up, knowing full well that once the sun sets and the moon is overhead, I’ll be hunting. Perhaps before sunset, if the other day was any indication. Zeke would not be pleased, but he’s not here. Solis at my back, I throw a black leather jacket over my shoulders to try to conceal the lethal weapon.
Tonight, I’m going to enjoy all aspects of the city, and then I’m going hunting for demons and answers.
I toured New Orleans like any other human new to the area would. The city’s different in the light of day. It gives off a false sense of security, considering what’s been roaming the area lately. Regardless of the evil that lurks, the city is alive and thriving.
My tour ends at Café Beignet on Bourbon Street. I’m seated outside, enjoying the music provided by a local jazz artist, when a small child lively dancing to the music catches my eye. Children have never been a source of entertainment for me. In truth, they annoy the hell out of me on a good day. This particular little girl, with her chestnut ringlets and bright brown eyes, has me captivated.
The longer she dances, the farther away she strays from her mother’s side, and the woman doesn’t even realize it. My eyes dart around to see if anyone else is paying attention, and when they land back on the girl, she’s just disappearing out of sight around the corner. When her mother doesn’t move to go after her, I spring to action. Why? God only knows.
She’s got a good head start on me, and based on the size of the crowd loitering in the area, I have to appear human, which means she’s getting farther ahead of me than I’m comfortable with. My head is screaming at me to not make this my business, but I can’t do that. This city is magical, but it’s also dangerous. I can’t knowingly allow a child to venture away from her parent.
Why didn’t I just alert her mother? It would’ve been the smart thing to do. Alas, here I am meandering through throngs of people, chasing after a girl I’ve never seen before in my life and have absolutely no connection to. She rounds corner after corner, steering us farther away from the crowds and into darker, even more dangerous areas of Bourbon Street.
Fear The Fall: Fallen Hunters Series Page 12
