On his way back across the house and to his room down the hallway, he stopped to check on Jax and Dick one last time. The dog lifted his head quickly at the sound of Declan but rested it again when he saw who it was. He had a dog. The idea of such and how it came about made him smile. Something he didn’t do often.
There was something about the excitement and joy it stirred in Jax that made his heart flip in his chest. He liked the kid – he was cute, funny, and called him his buddy. Such an endearing term made his heart do that flip thing again.
Finally making it to his room, ready to settle in for the night, he heard Lydia. Not quite a scream but more than a shout. Something was wrong.
Rushing from his room, he was met with Dick standing guard at Jax’s doorway, having heard the sound, too. “Good boy,” he offered, passing the dog who didn’t budge.
Without knocking or pausing to assess the situation, he burst through her bedroom door and right to her side. Covered in sweat, she was sitting up, hands over her chest and gasping for air. Tremors so violent, Declan felt them shake the bed as they raced through her, told him she was terrified.
Sitting at her bedside, he pulled her into his embrace, kissing the top of her head repeatedly while whispering words of comfort. She let him hold her while she cried, long and hard. Her haunting past was toying with her mind.
“It’s okay, baby. It’s okay,” he whispered over and over while stroking her hair. “You’re fine. You’re safe.”
It pained him to see her this way. This wasn’t just a nightmare – this was torture, and she had been dealing with this for years. She didn’t do this before he left.
“Shhh… I’m not letting anything happen to you ever again. It’s all over. It wasn’t real.”
Her painful sobs were fading to silent cries. It was hard to say if this was more because he was finally here, and she could get it all out, or if she went through this process every time alone. It crushed him to think that it was the latter.
“I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. Not ever again. I’m right here, baby. I got you.” Continuing to reassure her was all he could do until she eventually calmed into a fitful rest.
Laying her down gently, he stood from her bed, ready to spend the night in the chair that sat in the corner of her room so he could be close. When he did, she stopped him with a soft whisper.
“Will you stay? Just until I fall asleep?”
It warmed him that she wanted him to stay. Her guard was down, she was vulnerable, and he was ready to protect what she couldn’t right now. “Of course I will.”
He crawled into the bed behind her and pulled her close so he could hold her and she could feel comforted by him being there.
“Does that happen often?” he asked.
“Almost every night,” she whispered back.
Shocked by her admission, he stilled at the ache her words left in his chest and knowing it was his fault.
“I’m so sorry, baby. So damn sorry.”
Her breathing calmed, and her body settled. She was back to sleep. He was only supposed to stay until then, but he couldn’t leave her. The rest of the night, and every night that she would let him, he would stay in her bed and fight her nightmares for her.
Lydia woke with a smile on her face, feeling him behind her. For the first time in who knew how long, she felt rested in that familiar embrace that left her feeling happy and safe. She wiggled her ass into him and felt how happy he was to be in bed with her.
Fully awake, she suddenly remembered why he was behind her. This wasn’t a dream. He was there because of her nightmare. Bolting up from the bed, she pulled the covers over her in panic.
“Declan.” She shook him. “Declan, get up. Hurry up. You need to get out of here.”
“Hmmm…I am up,” he snickered, still half asleep.
“Oh, my God. Declan, I’m serious.”
“So am I,” he said, snuggling into her hip.
Lydia looked to the door and listened for any sign of Jax. He didn’t seem to be awake, but the dog certainly was, and he was sitting in her doorway, staring at her with his head halfcocked.
“I think Dick wants out.”
Grinding into her thigh, he responded in a throaty tone, “He sure does, baby.”
Jaw dropped, she turned and shoved his shoulder so he would roll anywhere but up against her. “I meant the dog…your dog wants out! Hurry up before Jax sees you in my room and in my bed.”
Mentioning four year olds was the closest thing to a cold shower without any water. It was enough to pull him from his half asleep slumber and right to his feet. He kissed her forehead before leaving the room to take care of the dog.
To be fair, she was a little disappointed when he did as he was told, and a lot disappointed when he grabbed his shirt from the end of her bed and pulled it over his head. It hid that perfect V that his low hanging sweats beautifully displayed. Oh, how she’d missed that V and everything else under his sweats and shirt.
So as not to break the pattern she started the day before, and to remind herself that she didn’t want him…desperately, she scolded him for taking it upon himself to kiss her good morning.
“Stop it. We’re not a…thing. Last night was…” Unable to finish her thought because his dreamy smile and seductive eyes were undressing her, she just let her words hang.
“What? Last night…it was what?” he asked, fully aware of what he was doing to her. If her lost words didn’t give it away, the squirming from side to side in her bed did.
“Probably your fault, that’s what it was. You told me about Tom Boyd, and it…it…brought back bad memories.” Confident in her argument, she got out of bed and followed him to the kitchen to let the dog out back.
“Then why’d you ask me to stay?” The line of questioning had only begun, and he was tripping her up already. He watched closely as she bent over, her perfect ass in the air while she filled the dog’s food bowl. Who knew feeding the dog could be so sexy? He mentally nominated her for the chore from now on.
Good point, why did she ask him to stay? “I…I was…I was half asleep. Thought it was a dream and…didn’t know what I was doing.”
“Then that means you were dreaming about me and wanted me in your bed.” Seeing how flustered she managed to get had him smiling and tossing her a wink. Caught.
“No! I was…scared. Okay? I was so scared, like I always am. Happy?”
He wasn’t happy. That wasn’t at all what Declan wanted to hear. Somehow teasing her to get her riled up for fun became anything but fun. It was awful, really. She had been living in painful fear for all this time, fighting it alone.
Standing in front of her, he cupped her face in his hands and looked into her eyes, hoping she would feel the emotion of his words and let him help her through every last nightmare. “Lydee, you’re safe. Jax is safe. Okay? I will breathe my last breath before I let anything happen to either one of you. I promise.”
Locked in each other’s gaze, neither said a word and just let the words he shared sink in. He said he would die for them. She believed that, but it left little comfort because her heart would die right along with him if it ever came to that.
Like a train derailing, Dick ran right back through the door, knocking things over in his path, breaking their moment. “If that dog pee’s on my carpet or chews up anything but his bone – you’re both sleeping outside,” she warned, causing Declan to throw his hands up in surrender.
It was obvious by all of the thuds from his wild tail and the crashing sound when he hit a shelf, knocking over Legos, where he went. Right back to his boy; he didn’t even stop to eat.
A ringing cell phone had Lydia running to the living room where she left it the night before. It was still early and an odd time to take calls, so Declan assumed it had to do with work. He started a pot of coffee, remembering it was how she liked to start her day. Even on the road, after being up all night, by seven in the morning, they were finding a quick cup of coffee somewhere.
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br /> “Well, there goes the morning,” Lydia said, walking back into the kitchen, her frustration evident. “One of my people didn’t show up, and the morning shift is locked out.”
“There isn’t anyone else with a key?”
“Nope. Jared and I alternate opening and closing. Just the two of us,” She clarified. “Jax is going to be a bear – he was up so late.”
“Then leave him. I’ll watch him,” Declan offered.
“Hah!” A snarky laugh escaped her, and she began to vigorously shake her head no. “Uh, no. That’s a bad idea.”
Sitting on a bar stool at the end of the kitchen island counter, he crossed his arms and furrowed his brow, not sure if he should be offended or not. “Why? Why is that such a bad idea?”
“Well…” not able to come up with a good answer other than she just didn’t want him to, she tossed out the first thing that came to mind, “He’s…little.”
“Little? That’s your reason? It’s not like he’s in diapers and I’d be breast feeding the kid.”
An odd expression of disgust landed on her face. “Eww, that was weird, and yes. That’s my reason…he’s little.”
Shaking his head in disbelief, he rolled his whole head, instead of his eyes only. “Aaaand?”
“Aaaand, you’re not.” Pouring herself a cup of coffee, she pranced around the kitchen with her confident reasoning, pretending she didn’t find those excuses as lame as he did.
“Isn’t that how’s it’s supposed to be? He’s small; I’m big…big one is in charge.”
“Well, yes, but…this is different.”
“Different how, Lydia? What are you not saying here?”
“Different because…” Because why? Silently snapping her fingers in her head, she was searching for a good because. “Because he doesn’t know you very well.”
“He calls me his Buddy, Lyd. I think he likes me. He’s an easy kid. I have a niece, remember? I have experience.”
Whipping her head his direction, “You’ve babysat her?”
“Well, not entirely…by myself. But she likes me, too. I’m good with kids. They get me, and I get them. It works.” He shrugged. “How hard can this be? Just a couple of dudes and a dog.”
When she didn’t say anything back, he showed his final hand to win the game, or babysitting job. “I suppose we can always go to work with you again. They really seemed to like me there.”
Her eyes went wide when she recalled the affectionate mom mob that had it bad for Declan. Thankful her back was to him so he couldn’t see the jealous heat in her cheeks, she started to walk off, coffee in hand. “No. You’re right. He is easy.”
Smiling ear to ear, he knew that little bargaining chip would win him the game. Celebrating silently, he knew that meant more than just her trusting him with her kid. It meant she didn’t want other women around him, or touching him, or flirting with him.
Not one to encourage the behavior, he had ignored it, as if it went right over his head, but he knew exactly what those women were doing with their bright lipstick smiles, shirts pulled down just a tad extra, and those flirty hand grazes across his chest. He also knew that it pissed off Lydia. He was still in the game whether she wanted to admit it or not.
“Okay then,” he said while sending a text message, “Logan is taking Meg in to work and staying with her. You’re riding in, and home, with them. Don’t go anywhere or leave without him and Meg.”
Popping her head back in the kitchen with one curious brow raised, she said, “You planned this, didn’t you? You’re not scoring any points for this, you know.”
With an ornery grin, he tossed his hands up in surrender. “Wouldn’t think of it.
IT WASN’T LONG after she left before Jax woke and plopped himself in the kitchen, across from Declan, who had been checking emails from his phone. They stared at each other for a moment before Dec finally broke the silence between himself and the groggy kid across from him.
“Rough night?” he asked.
With his head resting between his two hands like a drunk propping his head on the bar, Jax replied with a simple, “No.”
“Oh. Your mom had to go to work for a while. It’s just you and me,” Declan shared, surprised the kid hadn’t asked for his mom yet.
“And Dick,” the boy corrected.
“Right and…the dog.” Dick raised his head from the food bowl when Dec referred to him as dog. “Dick.”
“So,” he started, changing the subject, trying to get the kid to talk. “What do you normally do when you get up?”
Jax just shrugged. “Eat.”
This was going to be harder than Declan thought. Jax was not a morning person, and he didn’t know what to do next. “Okay. What do you eat?”
“Cereal.”
“Okay. Where is the cereal?” Somehow Declan felt like he had been set up. This was the bear Lydia said Jax would be. He’d say less of a bear than borderline mute.
“Kitchen.”
Looking through the cabinets to find the cereal, he came up short, “As it should be. Mind helping a dude out? I’m not seeing cereal.”
“It’s on the fridge.”
“Ah! Okay!” He grabbed the cereal that had been hiding in plain sight from on top of the refrigerator, then the milk from inside. “Got it, little man. We are on our way to some breakfast!”
After going back through the cabinets to find cereal bowls and silverware, he filled each with cereal and nearly spilled the milk everywhere when Jax decided to wake up.
“STOP!” Jax yelled, holding his hands out in front of him. “Da milk goes in da glass!”
“Oh, no problem. I can pour you a glass, too,” Declan reassured him before attempting to poor milk over the cereal.
“STOP! In da glass,” Jax repeated, his expression so alarmed you’d think Declan was boiling his favorite puppy.
“Okay…and in the cereal too, right?” Unsure what he was missing, he paused, afraid to give the kid a nervous breakdown. He didn’t know what the hell he was doing wrong, but it was really wrong given the panic Jax was experiencing.
“Eww. No. I like da cereal crunchy. Then I drink da milk,” Jax explained, as if everyone ate it that way.
“That makes absolute sense – everything is better when it’s…crunchy,” Declan agreed, not sure how else to respond to the discovery of a Jax quirk.
Setting Jax’s breakfast in front of him, he sat next to him and ate his own dry, crunchy, cereal. It actually was better. “So, what do you normally do after breakfast?”
“I don’t know.”
They were back to short answers, “Do you…watch T.V.?”
Sitting up straight, he spoke matter-of-factly, “I can only watch T.V. for thirty minutes after dinner.”
“Wow. Okay. How about a little hike? We can look for icicles and take…Dick…with us.” He still wasn’t excited about that name. It was just awkward, especially when speaking to a kid.
Suddenly awake at the mention of an adventure with the dog, Jax piped up with an excited, “Yes!”
Jax was fed and dressed in no time. Declan was packing a backpack that he found in the closet of the room he was staying in.
“What should we pack, kid?”
“Crayons!” he said, running for his stash.
“We won’t have time for that. Haven’t you gone on a hike before?”
Jax shook his head no, disappointed he couldn’t take his crayons.
“Well, we’ll need some snacks! Never go into the forest without snacks…just in case,” Declan said, rummaging through the pantry and stashing his findings in the backpack.
Jax ran to the refrigerator. “Water? Cause we have snacks?”
“Good one, dude,” Declan said, taking the waters from him.
Jax clapped his hands in excitement, proud of his contribution. “What else, Buddy?”
Declan was pleased with the enthusiasm stirring in Jax over their hike together. He just might score some points after all.
They
were well into their hike through the trails that traced the lake. Those trails also led to a nearby waterfall, but Jax was still a bit small to make that hike, especially with the colder weather and semi-frozen ground. For his first hike, he did pretty good maneuvering a few tricky turns and climbs, staying just within the tree line to enhance the adventure, but never very far from home.
They made it to the creek, which was fed by the waterfall above and ended in the lake just below them. Jax stopped and began to pace along the stream’s edge, just behind the rocky border someone had added. When a hop in his step became noticeable too, Dec became curious. The kid looked guilty of something.
“What’s wrong, kid? You alright?” With his head slightly tilted to one side in confusion, he was almost afraid to hear the answer.
“Nope!” he said, seeming more agitated, his hop becoming more rigorous.
“No?” Declan knelt down beside him and looked him over, trying to find the problem. “You look fine. What’s wrong, kid?”
Big worried eyes met Dec’s and nearly crushed his heart doing so. “I drank all my water.”
Messing his hand through the boy’s hair, he put his mind at ease. “That’s okay, I have more.”
“No!” he sharply said, now dancing in place and holding himself. “I have to go potty!”
Relieved it was something simple, Declan stood back up, and turned around, “Oh! Then Go!”
Mortified by the instruction he received, Jax quickly fired back, “In my pants?”
“Nooo…just pick a tree and go,” Declan said over his shoulder.
Still confused and worried, Jax was on the verge of an accident that wouldn’t fare well in the cold temperatures or with the kid’s mom. He still didn’t understand what to do.
Dec knelt back down and said, “Jax, just find a bush, or a tree…shoot, a big rock even, and pretend it’s a toilet. Just…pee on it.”
Oddly, permission to pee all over nature brought joy to small children, Jax specifically. With eyes wide in excitement, Jax giggled. “Really?”
To which Declan nodded. “Really!”
Brother's Keeper I: Declan Page 23
