"I know what you're saying," Frank said. "I'm not stupid."
"Nobody said you were." Charlie sighed. "I just figured you knew what kind of party this was."
Frank shrugged. "I guess I did."
"In all seriousness, Frank, I didn't mean no disrespect." Charlie leaned forward and gave him a pat on the shoulder. "I'm only human. Forget I ever mentioned it." Charlie stood up. "I'm gonna go see if anybody wants to go for a swim. Hey, no hard feelings, right?"
"No hard feelings," Frank said, waving him away.
***
Uncertain of how long it had been since Charlie had left him alone on the deck, Frank checked his watch. The tiny numbers all seemed to melt together, and the overwhelming stench of charred meat was making him sick to his stomach. He considered going back into the house when the intrusive sound of laughter distracted him. He looked back, saw the others filing out through the sliders, music from the stereo in the living room still blaring.
Pepper was the first one to cross the deck. She stopped just long enough to kick off her boots and wiggle out of the lower portion of her bodysuit, then dove into the pool. Water flew up and splashed onto the surrounding deck, spraying the area.
"What a surprise," Claire said, stumbling from the house with a drink in each hand, wearing only a bra, panties, and a pair of sandals. "Pepper's the first one in."
Without comment, Charlie drunkenly strolled off the edge of the deck and fell into the pool fully clothed. Beth and Sandy stood a few feet away, laughing hysterically. "Now you know," Beth said, "why Charlie rode the small bus to school."
Luther quickly stripped down to his underwear and jumped into the water. The three women moved back to avoid the enormous splash just as Steve and Sal emerged from the house.
"Come on in," Pepper shouted to no one in particular. "The water's really warm."
Treading water not far away, Charlie said, "That's cause I just pissed myself."
Sal made a quick visual sweep of the area before sitting across from Frank in the chair Charlie had occupied earlier. Despite the dark glasses, Frank knew he was watching him. "You don't look so good."
"I'm wasted," Frank told him. "What's your excuse?"
Sal stared at him blankly until Pepper's girlish laughter turned their attention back to the pool. Luther hoisted her up over his head and tossed her back down into the water.
Claire rolled her eyes. "What the hell is she screaming about? Those tits could've kept the Titanic afloat, for Christ's sake."
"You're just jealous," Steve said, playfully tweaking one of her breasts through her thin bra. Claire laughed, seemingly oblivious to what he had done.
Frank shifted his eyes to Sandy, looking for a reaction, but she and Beth, both barefoot but otherwise clothed, had wandered over to the far side of the pool. They were drinking and talking quietly, neither one particularly steady on her feet.
"Hey," Steve said, a joint between his lips as he studied the grill through glazed eyes. "We forgot about the steaks."
"Here." Claire handed him one of her sandals. "Eat one."
Steve took a hit from the joint, passed it to Claire and started getting undressed. "You coming in?"
"I'm right behind you," Claire said, choking.
At the prodding of Pepper, Steve began a comical striptease, removing a piece of clothing and swinging it over his head before tossing it aside. Once he was nude, he grabbed Claire by the wrist and cannonballed, dragging her with him to the applause of the others. When they emerged from the water, it was together, arms locked around each other's necks. They remained that way, floating toward the center of the pool.
Luther and Pepper drifted to the opposite side and resumed their roughhousing, leaving Charlie alone. He swam to the edge of the pool, pulled a black rubber tube into the water with him and after several failed attempts, managed to get himself on top of it in a prone position. At some point he had taken off his clothes, and they now glided away in different directions along the surface of the water. He rolled over onto his back, feet dangling in the water, arms folded across his fleshy midsection, and floated about aimlessly.
"Why sit here with me?" Sal asked. "Go have some fun."
Frank answered without looking at him. "I don't swim."
Apparently satisfied with the response, Sal turned and watched as those in the water removed whatever sparse items of clothing they still had on and threw them up onto the deck.
Beth and Sandy were sitting at the edge of the pool, their feet in the water. "Hey, girls!" Charlie screamed to them, his speech so slurred that it was barely discernable. "Get naked!"
"Hey, Charlie," Beth sighed. "Get fucked."
"I'm trying!" Charlie laughed.
Beth smiled at him. "Best of luck."
Sandy found herself laughing, but wasn't sure why. Her head was spinning, and she was purposely trying to avoid making eye contact with Frank.
"Are you okay?" Beth asked, gently touching Sandy's thigh.
Sandy giggled. "I'm smashed."
"Come on!" Charlie yelled again.
"Let's go," Beth said. "Before shit-for-brains wakes the neighbors."
Sandy looked at her and smiled. "You first."
Beth slipped out of her dress, revealing a lean, taut body with skin as smooth and white as porcelain. Still sitting next to Sandy, she unhooked her bra and placed it neatly on the deck. Her breasts were small, the pale pink nipples stiffened in the night air. Still wearing a pair of cotton panties, she slid gracefully from the edge of the deck into the water. She turned onto her back and smiled up at Sandy. "Your turn."
"Yeah, Sandy!" Charlie barked. "San-dee! San-dee!"
Sandy laughed as her eyes drifted around the pool. Luther and Pepper's playfulness had become far more intimate, and Steve and Claire were kissing, locked in a drunken, sloppy embrace that seemed to last forever. Struggling to her feet, Sandy nearly lost her balance and fell into the water. She looked across to the far side of the deck and saw Frank staring at her as he slowly got up out of his chair.
"Sandy," Frank said, not certain if he'd only thought her name or actually spoken it.
With eyes that appeared she no longer had full control over, Sandy looked down at her feet. She bent her toes upward and studied them, riveted by their very existence. Frank noticed a delicate gold ankle bracelet he'd bought for her as it caught the light. "There's something unidentifiably erotic about being barefoot," she mumbled. "Don't you think?"
"There's something identifiably erotic about you!" Charlie laughed and splashed the water with his hands, clearly amused with himself.
Frank swallowed hard. He tried to clear his mind and think of something to say, telling himself to put a stop to this before it got out of hand, but his body refused to cooperate.
"Why are you being such a quiet little mouse?" Sandy suddenly demanded, yelling across the pool at him. "What's wrong? Pussy got your tongue?"
Her outburst caught the attention of the others, and they all slowly drifted to the middle of the pool, watching her silently.
"Do you wanna leave, Frank? - I dunno, it's up to you!" Sandy seemed incapable of preventing herself from laughing. "Turn around and look the other way, Frank. That's your specialty, isn't it?"
Frank watched as she looked at him defiantly, grabbed the hem of her dress, and in one quick motion pulled it off over her head. She had not worn a bra, and now stood clad only in a blue satin thong. Her fingers released the dress and it fell to the deck in a heap. Slowly, as if only just realizing what she'd done, Sandy crossed her arms over her chest and attempted a smile.
"It's all right," Beth said, swimming closer to the edge and holding out her hands. "Come on."
Sandy took her hand and slowly entered the pool. They treaded water together, their faces nearly touching, Beth speaking to her in a tone too soft for anyone else to hear.
Frank staggered back through the sliding glass doors. His mind told him he was walking quickly, but his feet moved as if trudging through quick
sand. He followed the beat of the music, sound, sight and smell gradually merging as he crossed into the living room. He stood firm for a moment, allowing his eyes to adjust to lighting he had originally perceived as dim, but that now seemed unnecessarily bright. He found the bar, mixed a drink and emptied it with a single gulp. After somehow managing to successfully maneuver himself onto one of the barstools, he poured another drink and lit a cigarette. In the distance he heard a loud splash, and then another, followed by laughter.
***
It was some time later when Frank was distracted by voices behind him. Initially he'd mistaken the giggles and whispers as figments of his own imagination, but when he looked back over his shoulder he realized he was no longer alone in the room.
Luther, Pepper and Claire were lying on the sofa; tangled together in a naked heap that made it difficult to tell where one body ended and another began. Frank shifted his eyes, found Sal standing in the doorway, his face expressionless. "Feeling better?" he asked.
"Where's Sandy?"
"Charlie's still floating around in that tube. I better get him out of it before he drowns."
Frank slid off of the stool. "Where is she?"
"She went off with Steve and Beth," he said, pointing to the ceiling. "The stairs are at the end of the hallway off the kitchen. I can show you if you want."
"Fuck off." Frank stormed past him and headed for the kitchen. He found the stairs and climbed them, nearly losing his balance twice before reaching the top. At the end of the hall was Charlie and Beth's bedroom, the door open sufficiently for him to see that no one was inside. Frank stumbled to his right, focused on a closed door, and stared at it for a time.
When he heard muffled voices, he quietly pushed the door open a crack.
Steve was nude, sitting in a large soft chair in the corner of the room. Beth and Sandy, both topless, had knelt facing each other on the floor in front of him. All three were still wet from the pool and seemed unaware of Frank's presence. Beth leaned closer and kissed Sandy tenderly on the forehead, cheek and neck, her hands slowly gliding across her shoulders onto Sandy's breasts. Shaking, Sandy hesitantly touched Beth's hips, and then her buttocks, pulling her closer until first their breasts met, and then their lips. Beth gently took one of Sandy's breasts into her mouth and massaged the other with her palm.
Steve sat forward in the chair and Beth turned, bent over, and took his erection into her mouth. Sandy either fell back against his chest or leaned into it; Frank couldn't be sure. Steve's free hand caressed Sandy's breasts, gently gliding over her taut stomach before disappearing inside the front of her panties, a soft tuft of pubic hair greeting his fingers as her legs parted slightly. He rubbed in a slow, rhythmic motion, waiting to penetrate her until his fingers had grown moist. When he eventually sat back in the chair, Sandy followed, lowering her mouth onto his erection and sharing him with Beth.
Frank hadn't been certain any of this would actually happen until the exact second that it did. Emotions surged through him - too many to focus on one specifically - and he was certain he'd pass out.
Instead, he turned and moved slowly down the hallway, his heart smashing against his chest, his head throbbing from a pounding headache. He hesitated at the head of the stairs, heard moans and laughter from the room below. He felt like a caged animal, and let the wall support him.
At the edge of the darkness halfway down the staircase, Sal appeared. He stood silently watching for a time, then with an almost militaristic stride, climbed the remaining stairs and joined Frank at the top. "Are you all right?"
Frank glared at him, focusing to remain upright.
"They in there?" He motioned to the bedroom behind them with his chin. "Yeah," he answered his own question a moment later. "Look, I've seen this kind of thing a lot. Sometimes it gets too much, not everyone can handle it. You want me to - "
"I want you to leave me the fuck alone, Sal," Frank growled. "That's what I want."
His mouth twitched into the slightest hint of a smile. "No problem, asshole."
Frank steadied himself against the wall as Sal moved by him. He didn't bother to look over his shoulder. He knew where he'd gone.
After what seemed an eternity, Beth strolled from the room totally nude. "Hey, Frank," she said evenly. "Where have you been? Knee deep in Pepper, no doubt."
Frank moved to the side so she could pass, offering no reply as she descended the stairs and drifted into darkness.
***
The smell of his breath, stale from marijuana and liquor, was nearly intolerable. Groggy one moment and relatively alert the next, her awareness of the situation seemed to come in waves. Gliding backwards, Sandy felt two strong, callused hands tighten around her waist and realized that she had been propped up into a sitting position.
"Yeah," someone said, the voice distant and distorted. "Fuck her, man."
She looked down and saw Steve lying beneath her. He was inside her.
"That's it, baby, that's it," Steve said beneath her, his lips moving but slightly out of sync with the sound drifting about. His hands clutched her waist and she felt him pushing deeper.
She slumped forward and collapsed next to him on the bed, curling into a fetal position as if to go to sleep. "Stop," she sighed.
Undeterred, he rolled her over.
"You do her mouth yet?" the other voice said.
"Before you got here."
"Soon as I catch my breath I'm gonna stuff it in there again."
"You almost drowned her last time, dude. Big Sal, still the man!"
Laughter, joyless and dirty, echoing around her followed by more bursts of hot breath. Large hands tightened around her again, and the world began to spin. Nothing seemed real. Swallowing was nearly impossible, her mouth mucky and covered in thick cum still dribbling from her lips, a physical memory, residue of the man belonging to the other voice. The man who had opened her mouth with rough hands and put himself inside her, telling her to suck, holding her head and pumping his erection deep enough to gag her, even when she'd gone along with what he'd wanted, before finally releasing, emptying himself into her.
"It's okay, honey." Another voice - Steve's voice? "Roll over on your tummy, okay, baby?"
"Wait." She struggled to raise the volume of her voice but felt too weak. "Please… wait."
"Its okay, baby." A hand stroking her forehead, feigning tenderness, Steve's voice pretending to sooth. "Help me turn her over. Let's fuck her ass, man."
"Please…" Her voice? Had she spoken, was she only thinking? Was any of this real? "Stop… stop."
"Did you hear what she said?"
Steve turned; surprised to see Frank standing in the open doorway. "Hey, man, I - I ah, I didn't know you were watching. If you're gonna get off come on in and have some - "
"Did you hear what she said?"
His smile slowly vanished. "Yeah," he said softly.
"Then get the fuck away from her."
Steve slid off the bed as Sal casually zipped his pants. He motioned for Sal to follow him, gave an apologetic nod and slipped quietly from the room.
Sandy was sprawled out on the bed, her head lolled to one side, resting against a pillow. Her eyes searched for Frank, and when they found him a quiet whimper escaped her. Unable to look at him now, she rolled over, gathering the sheets along with her.
Frank turned away, noticed a full-length mirror on the far wall. Someone he had never seen before stared back: hair mussed and eyes bloodshot, remnants of cocaine still smeared beneath the nostrils. His eyes dropped. His pants were undone, and a sticky wetness had gathered between his legs.
Frank turned and vomited into a small wastebasket.
Supporting himself against the wall, he shut off the light and sank to the floor.
Tears came to him first in the form of small sobs, increasing in intensity until his entire body shook and he wept like a child.
CHAPTER 11
1991
After the September tour the holidays came and went wit
hout incident. Frank and Vincent focused their attention on wining and dining a new crop of potential clients, and helping Gus and his salespeople close the deals that would lay the foundation for the next run of shots. Working primarily out of the office, it was an unusually long down time for them, and when they finally hit the road again in late December, Frank was relieved, knowing that they wouldn't return until middle January.
Things at home had become increasingly difficult since the night of the party, and Frank found Sandy more distant than ever. Because neither of them had found it possible to even broach a discussion concerning all that had taken place, the tension level between them had festered. Four consecutive months of lukewarm conversation, no sexual contact, and mechanical, uninspired social interaction made what little time they spent together nearly intolerable.
The New Year was less than three weeks old when Frank returned from the tour that had begun in Massachusetts and ended in Maryland. Fearing his mood swings and bouts with severe depression might lead to further problems, Frank had spent many of the days and nights isolating himself from the troupe in a way he had never done before. With the Turano situation about to unfold, the difficulties in his marriage mounting, and a drinking problem that had become increasingly difficult to manage, Frank knew that if he didn't get his life back under control soon, he might lose all hope of ever doing so again.
His first night back, Sandy prepared dinner. They sat at the kitchen table, together, yet apart. Where there had once been inane small-talk there now resided apprehensive silence. Pushing his plate aside, Frank lit a cigarette and rested his elbows on the table. Sandy ignored his obvious posture and continued to eat without comment.
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