by T. S. Joyce
But he saw nothing of Lexi?
Not only that, but he was acting strange. Ryder knew Wes better than anyone, and he’d never given two shits about bonds, relationships, or claiming a mate. But since Ryder had mentioned Lexi, he was cool-as-you-like about him dating her. And Ryder couldn’t help but think it was because Wes didn’t take their relationship seriously. It felt like Wes didn’t care if he dated Lexi or not because he didn’t believe she would be in his life long-term.
Was he reading into Weston’s behavior too deeply? Maybe. But nothing else he’d come up with explained why his best friend wasn’t fighting Ryder’s interest in Lexi.
And Ryder so badly wanted her to be more than just another woman passing through his life.
She felt special. When he hugged her, touched her, kissed her, or even looked at her, there was this bright spot in his middle that seemed to pulse with devotion.
A week since he’d first met her, and Ryder had been prepared to call out Kane’s motherfuckin’ Blackwing Dragon to brawl for grabbing Lexi’s hand too hard.
He was doing it again.
He was making the same mistake he made every time a woman showed interest. He locked onto her, suffocated her until she acted out and ultimately rejected him. And he was so fucking tired of rejection.
He’d been shouldering that since he was a baby. No, don’t think about him. Robbie Anderson was a prick and a leaver. Dwelling on him wouldn’t do anything but put Ryder in a tail-spin, and he was over that. He’d gone through his angry phase as a teenager. Ryder allowing his biological dad to affect his life took away from all that Mason did for him. God, he wished he could just cut all memories of his real dad from his head and start on the day he’d met Mason. Why the fuck were his memories at age four and five so vivid? They should’ve faded, but they were there in the back of his mind, the brightest memories that made up the darkest parts of him.
Fuck Robbie.
Ryder should’ve been born to Mason. He should have Beast Boar blood pumping through his veins.
Absently, Ryder ran his finger over the old scar Mason had cut just under his collar bone. That’s what the boars did to declare someone was theirs, and when Ryder had asked, Mason had cut him immediately. Mason had never rejected him, so why the hell was Ryder stuck in this unending hiccup over his biological father leaving him?
Because he left you.
It wasn’t like Robbie and Mom split up and his real dad had just drifted away. No, Robbie had tried to keep a relationship with Ryder, but Robbie had hated him so much, he couldn’t stand to be a part of his life. He’d said it over and over. Sometimes I really hate you, you little freak.
And then he’d signed his parental rights over just so he wouldn’t have to see Ryder again.
Freak.
“Fuck,” Ryder choked out as he gripped his hair.
Riding this loop wasn’t doing any good. It would only hurt worse the deeper he dug into the whys and what ifs.
He had to dig out of the past if he wanted a shot at making a woman like Lexi happy. He couldn’t go through his whole life dragging the ghost of his dad. It would haunt him, haunt Lexi, haunt everything he tried to accomplish, and Robbie didn’t deserve that kind of power.
He never had.
****
Okay, there was the next marker. A red ribbon was tied around a tree trunk ahead. Lexi drove a washed-out road with two divots that tires had etched into the earth to create a single lane. Knee-high weeds comprised the center strip, and the brush and brambles ping-pinged against the undercarriage of Lexi’s Jeep.
The dirt track had seemed to go on forever since she’d turned off the main road, but Alana had assured her this would lead to Ryder.
Geez, she hoped he liked surprises. What if he was out here with another woman? Stop it. Ryder isn’t Blake. But she and Ryder hadn’t called each other anything more than friends. If he was dating other women, she would have to understand.
She rocked through a deep mud hole and passed the red ribbon, then curved around with the road. There was a clearing ahead with a foundation and framework up for a building. Beside the structure, Ryder was squatted down in the grass with his hands behind his head, his shoulders heaving. “Oh, my gosh,” she murmured, pulling to a stop. She shoved open the door and bolted for him, but by the time she was halfway there, Ryder stood and offered her a smile. Only it wasn’t a real smile. It was too tight and didn’t reach his bright gold eyes.
“Are you hurt?”
Ryder huffed, and the frail smile left his lips as he stared off into the woods. “What are you doing here?”
She cast her getaway vehicle a quick glance. “This was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have just come out here like this. I’m sorry. Uuum, if you want to grab coffee or something later this week, just give me a call.”
She turned and made her way toward her jeep, but something blurred past her and then Ryder’s hands were on her shoulders, forcing her to a stop. “I’m sorry. You just…caught me at a bad time. I didn’t want you to see…” Ryder inhaled a big breath and shook his head. “I’m sorry,” he repeated.
She couldn’t meet his eyes right now because the color was so light and so bright. Clutching the hem of his white T-shirt, she murmured, “Are you okay?”
“Hell yeah, I’m okay. My girl came to visit me. You want the tour?” His voice was upbeat now as if the last minute hadn’t happened.
She didn’t like being shut out, but he seemed determined. Ryder grabbed her hand and tugged her toward the framework building.
“I’m rebuilding my job, my life, myself right now, and this is where it started.” Ryder pulled her in front of him and rested his hands on top of her shoulders. “Wes and I are starting up a business called Big Flight ATV Tours.”
“Really?” she asked, floored.
“Yeah. We have twelve ATVs we are fixing up for clients. This will be the office where the tours are booked, and we are leasing the land behind this property to build trails. We’ll do a beginner trail and an intermediate one. We’ve already scoped out the best places for scenic views of the Smokies and photo-ops. We have the company incorporated already and everything. Once we finish building the office, we’ll be able to immediately start booking tours.”
“Ryder,” she breathed, scanning the lush green woods. “This is going to be incredible! With all the tourism around here, an ATV excursion is such a good start-up. I can make up flyers for you and give them to the concierge at Smoky Mountain Paradise Cabins. Our clients will eat this up!” Excitement zinged through her as she looked at the building again. She could just imagine it. Rustic office, rocking chairs on the porch for the clients waiting for tours, snacks and waters inside, maybe a little shop with T-shirts and promotional water bottles and keychains.
“Come here,” Ryder said excitedly, dragging her behind him around the side of the building. “The bathrooms will be here, and the gear room will be here where we fit clients with helmets and the right protective clothes if they don’t come prepared. Back there in the shade, we’ll have a few picnic tables. Wes is building those right now. We still have some woods to clear and to get some gravel on the road.” He flicked his fingertips to the road she’d come in on. “A welcome sign still needs to be built over there, but look.” He gestured to a massive garage in the woods. The doors were open, and there were rows of quads sitting ready in there.
“And you won’t have to work those crazy welding shifts anymore!”
Ryder rounded on her and cupped her cheeks, his eyes feverish with excitement. “Yes,” he whispered. “I knew you would get it. I knew you wouldn’t think this was silly.”
“How could I think this is silly? Ryder!” she looked around at what he and Wes were creating. “I have a really, really good feeling about this.”
His smile was genuine again, stunning. White, straight teeth and dancing eyes that were morphing back to a happy blue color. He’d shaved today, so she could see his dimples and smile lines clearly.
&nb
sp; “You want to go for a ride? I want to show you something.”
She gripped his wrists to keep his hands on her cheeks and beamed up at him. “Yes! But can we bring the picnic I brought? I haven’t eaten since breakfast.”
His face went serious, and he dropped his voice an octave. “You brought food?”
She giggled and nodded. “I wanted to surprise you.”
“You’re tryin’ to get yourself boned, aren’t you?”
“Stop,” she said, shoving off him.
In a rush, Ryder hefted her over his shoulder so fast her breathless laugh got caught in her throat. He pulled the hem of her tank top up and bit her side.
“Ow!” she howled, smacking him hard on the butt. She wished she could stop giggling, but she loved this. She adored how playful Ryder was and was so relieved he wasn’t sad anymore.
“Did you bring my baby?”
“My baby, and no. I left Sprinkles resting at home. I want you all to myself tonight.”
“What color are your panties?” Ryder pulled the waist of her jean shorts to the side.
Lexi swatted at his hand. “None of your business.”
“Purple with pink polka dots? I fuckin’ love that. Does your bra match?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
“Yes. Yes, I would.” He set her on her feet by her Jeep and hooked one finger into the low scoop neck of her tank top. He arched his red eyebrows high, daring her to stop him from pulling it down.
With a put-upon sigh, Lexi pulled down the neck of her tank top until it rested under her bra, which did, in fact, match her panties.
“Sheeeyit, woman,” Ryder said, standing back to admire. “That’s the best set of tits I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
He reached for her, hands cupped and ready, but she danced away from him and pulled her tank top back into place. “Feed me before you fondle me.”
Ryder squared up to her, hands on her hips and head ducked down. He lowered his voice. “I want to high five your pelvis with my pelvis.”
“Ryder,” she warned, trying hard for a straight face.
“I want to touch belly buttons.”
“Stop.” Now she had to bite her lip hard not to laugh.
Ryder lowered his voice to a seductive whisper. “Let’s make our nipples kiss.”
Lexi peeled into giggles and hugged him up tight. Ryder lifted her off the ground and squeezed her ribs. She could feel his smile against her cheek as his warm chuckle reverberated right next to her ear.
“I missed you big time, perv,” she told him.
Ryder leaned in and sucked her neck hard until she peeled into another fit of giggles. “I missed you, too.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Hell yeah, trouble. I pumped the python, like, a dozen times since I saw you last.”
“Oh, my gosh, did you just call your dick a python? And wait, a dozen times? You’re lying. You just saw me two days ago!”
“Yep, probably gonna do it another dozen times tonight after that little tit-tease you gave me. I’m just gonna be blowin’ dust.”
Lexi couldn’t breathe. She was doubled over laughing like a braying donkey, holding her middle because her abs were hurting so bad.
Ryder pulled her up and kissed her unexpectedly. His kiss was rough, and her giggles turned to chuckles, then to soft needy sounds as he worked her mouth. He eased her back against the Jeep and deepened their kiss, brushed his tongue against hers over and over until her legs buckled. He backed his mouth off hers with a soft, sexy smack, then rested his forehead against hers. “I wanted to taste you while you were laughing.”
“And?” she asked.
“Fucking perfect.” He pushed his hands off the Jeep and left her weak-kneed and wanting, the tease. Chuckling like he found himself very amusing, Ryder pulled the cooler and rolled-up, red blanket out of the back seat. “What did you bring me?”
“I cooked the last meal of a couple’s vacation at lunch, and they had no need for the leftovers since they’re headed to the airport tonight. I don’t know where you live, so I called Alana and asked where you were so I could surprise you.”
“Best surprise ever. Unless you showed up bare-ass naked. Then that would be the best surprise ever.” Ryder winked and made a tick sound behind his teeth. “Tip for next time. Oh, my God, is this blackened catfish and alexander sauce?” he asked as he stared down into a plastic container.
“Yep! It’s got some kick, too.”
“Woman, you’re gonna get an owl baby put in you today.”
Lexi laughed, but really, that didn’t scare her as much as it probably should. Ryder was going to make a very good daddy for some lucky kid someday. She could tell with how tender he was with Sprinkles and how he’d genuinely loved engaging with children the other day at the Taste of Bryson City.
Ryder led her down a squishy trail toward the ATV garage, and when they came to a bog, he let her climb on his back, then carried her, the cooler, and rolled-up blanket through the muck like he didn’t mind mud on his jeans. And all the while, he talked about his and Weston’s plans for this place. She loved the sound of Ryder’s deep, rich voice when he was excited like this.
He backed out a couple of quads and showed her how to use the smaller of the two. Then he strapped the cooler on the back of his with bungie cords and pulled a wide circle, his face in an animated smile as he talked, his eyes following her. Everything slowed, and the moment dragged blissfully on. Ryder had put on a baseball cap backward, and his thin, white V-neck T-shirt was splattered with mud and dirt from the work he’d been doing before she’d shown up. His jeans were old and threadbare at the knees, and his giant work boots were muddy as he shifted gears on his ATV. His lips moved in slow motion with the words he spoke to her, and his blue eyes sparked with happiness.
She loved him.
That’s what this joyous buzzing feeling in her middle was. She’d fallen that deep already.
Time resumed its natural rhythm, and Lexi pressed the throttle, easing her quad into the tracks Ryder had made. After a few minutes of getting used to it, her confidence grew and she felt comfortable enough to speed up. Ryder grinned over his shoulder in a challenge and hit the gas.
His laughter echoed through the woods and flooded her heart as she raced after him, her lungs burning with how hard she was laughing. He led her through mud puddles and around tree stumps. He led her past brambles and brush, up hills and through gently rolling creeks.
This place was beautiful. Ryder was building a business in an enchanted wood, and she had no doubt that tourists would fall in love with the adventure he and Wes would lead them on. Up and up, they climbed sloping hills until Ryder pulled to a stop in a clearing. He cut the engine, hopped off his quad, showed her how to turn hers off, and then helped her down. Her shoes and calves were splattered with dark mud, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. Ryder didn’t seem like a man who needed his woman perfect.
After Ryder unstrapped the cooler, he pulled Lexi by the hand toward an old, uprooted tree lying on its side. “You ready?” he asked, but the humor had faded from his face.
Her opinion of this place mattered to him.
“Is it special?” she asked.
“It’s where I come when everything gets too heavy.”
His hand went gentle under hers as he helped her over the log. And when she was settled on the ground, she looked up and gasped in awe. The Smoky Mountains stretched on and on in front of them, green waves jutting up gracefully from the earth. The sky above was a rich color of blue, just like Ryder’s eyes. Wisps of white clouds painted the blue canvas in hurried brush strokes.
“Oh Ryder, it’s amazing.” She shouldn’t ask, because it might ruin the moment, but she had to know exactly where she stood with him. “Have you showed this to anyone else?”
When he shook his head, his eyes were raw and honest. “Haven’t wanted to share it with anyone but you.”
Her eyes prickled with emotion, and she jerked her gaze ba
ck to the incredible scenery and blinked rapidly. “I think you’re my favorite person,” she whispered, too chicken to look at him.
There was a smile in his voice when he said, “Good.”
Ryder sat on the ground in front of the log and began pulling out their lunch. Lexi sat on the log behind Ryder and leaned on him, hugging his shoulders. He laughed and pulled off his baseball cap, then put it on her head. It was too big and drooped down, which made her laugh. Pulling the rim backward, she rested her chin on his shoulder and opened her mouth for the bite of catfish he offered her on a plastic fork.
And as he chatted on easily, he relaxed back against her and fed them both a bite at a time as if they’d known each other forever. And it felt like they had. As she listened to stories about when he was a kid and the trouble he’d found with his friends, she fell even harder for him.
Because of Ryder, she’d lived more in the past week than she had in years. She’d laughed and smiled more than she could remember, and the way she felt about him now was like first love. The kind that stuck with a heart forever. The kind that was the starting point to deep happiness.
She wasn’t saying the words to him, but she felt the butterflies and the heart flutters that said she was in deep.
And if the genuine smile on his lips, the booming laughter, and the constant affectionate pets were anything to go by, Ryder was diving in deep with her, too.
Nothing in her entire life had been as exciting as thinking about the endless possibilities of a future with the quick-witted, dirty-talking, endearingly sweet Air Ryder.
Chapter Seven
“Favorite color?” Ryder asked, stroking her hair.
Lexi had her head resting on his stomach as they stared up into the tall forest canopy. Ryder had spread out the blanket on thick grass, so her back was nice and comfy right now. Crossing her legs at the ankles, she lifted her hand into the air. She spread out her fingers under the speckles of sunlight that filtered through the trees. Now she looked as freckled as Ryder. “Gold.” She wouldn’t tell him it used to be purple, or that her new favorite was because of Ryder’s eye color when he got riled up, but from his soft chuckle, she thought maybe he knew.
