It was when they were standing at the back door, looking out at the moonlit yard, that Rebecca broached the subject of Sarah.
“It’s only that she’s a very sweet girl, and we both were thinking that perhaps you cared for her.”
“For Sarah?”
“Ya. Why not?”
“Well, of course I care for her, but…”
Rebecca waited, expectantly, patiently.
“She’s very young.”
“Only seven years younger than you are, which is nothing.”
Paul squirmed under her scrutiny. He thought of when he’d taken Sarah for a walk in Joshua’s barn, of telling her she was beautiful. Had he misled her in some way? He’d only meant to cheer her a little. He certainly wasn’t interested in courting the woman. The last thing he needed was an instant family.
“I’m a bachelor, Rebecca. Haven’t even had a serious girlfriend in the last five years.”
“And whose fault is that?”
“Maybe it’s mine, or maybe I prefer things that way.”
“Do you?”
“I don’t know. Sometimes I do. Other times…” He let the thought fade away, and suddenly his mind flashed back on something else entirely—Tylenol missing from the shelf, stubbing his toes on a chair in the middle of the workroom, small footprints in the snow.
“It was Mateo who broke into the store that night.”
“Probably.”
“They were living across the street, and we never even noticed.”
“It’s easy not to see something.”
“But Sarah saw.”
“She did, and not only did she see, but she did something about it. She’s a special woman, Paul, and don’t be worrying about her lack of things for the children. Our community pulls together in times like these. By Saturday, she’ll have everything she needs.”
Paul nodded, thanked his sister-in-law, and walked across to his tractor. As he drove home, past Sarah’s place, he thought about what Rebecca had said. Was it his fault that he was still a bachelor? Had he chosen this solitary life? And did he still enjoy it, or was he ready for things to change?
CHAPTER 42
Once they had dinner, cleaned the kitchen until it sparkled, and everyone was in their pajamas, Mammi called a family meeting.
Sarah hadn’t had a chance to speak with Andy alone. Each of her brothers had been surprised when they walked into the house and found their grandmother cooking and cleaning, but they were more surprised to hear that chicken spaghetti casserole was for dinner with fresh bread and green beans.
“Wow, you can cook, Mammi.”
“Danki, Luke. Sarah has her hands full with little Mia. It’s no wonder she’s had to resort to tuna and macaroni.”
Ack. She’d seen the cans in the trash. It was the one thing Sarah knew how to fix when in a hurry, and she’d been in a hurry a lot lately.
Mateo had stood back as Luke and Isaac hugged their grandmother.
She smiled at him and said, “You must be Mia’s bruder. She chatters about you all day long.”
That was all it had taken to break down Mateo’s wall of resistance. Like her brothers, he was also easily swayed by a warm meal.
Now all eight of them were gathered in the sitting room. Mammi began the family meeting by walking around the room and handing out chocolate, which she apparently kept in her large apron pockets. Had she done that before? Certainly not when she’d visited for the funeral, and Sarah had only fuzzy memories of her visiting before that.
“A little bit of sweet is a gut thing. Ya?”
No one argued. They all accepted a piece of chocolate, unwrapped it, and popped the candy into their mouth. Isaac hopped up and collected all of the silver wrappers.
Sarah had thought that Mammi would wait until the younger ones were asleep to explain what she was doing here and how long she planned to stay. Wrong. Mammi thought everyone in the family, right down to the youngest, should be involved in family discussions.
“We eat together, pray together, and discuss life together. It’s natural and gut for us to do so.”
Mateo and Isaac were sitting on the floor a safe distance in front of the big stove. Luke had pulled in a chair from the kitchen. Henry, Andy, and Sarah were perched on the couch. Mammi was in the rocker, and Mia was sitting beside her, playing with several old thread spools from her mother’s sewing kit—something Mammi had found, hastily penned faces and hair on, and given to her.
“Children need toys or they’ll find mischief. We’ll scour the house for more tomorrow.” That had been several hours ago. Now they were sitting and waiting.
Mammi sipped her tea. She seemed to love tea more than anyone Sarah had ever known. She nodded her head in contentment, smiled at each of them, and then set her mug on the end table.
“I told Sarah when I first arrived that the Lord brought me here, and I think it’s true. For sure and certain it was His guidance that spoke to me. My son, your Onkel Tobias, wanted me to stay in Montana, but I told him that I had to come, that I had to check on his bruder’s family.”
“Why now?” Sarah asked. She didn’t mean the question to be rude, but those were the two words that had been circling round and round in her head since her grandmother had stepped out of the red car.
“Gut question. I can’t say as I know the answer. Many times over the last twenty years, I have tried to come and help. Each time, your father told me not to. He insisted you all were fine. He insisted that I stay where I was.”
She shook her head and again sipped her tea. “I knew he was sick. Melvin struggled even when he was a young man, and I warned your mother about his condition. But they were in lieb and no one, no argument, could convince them not to marry, move away, and start their own family.”
Mammi rocked, her eyes drifting out the window to the moonlit night. “Maybe I should have insisted that they wait. It would have given your mother a few years to understand what she was going to need to deal with.”
“Dat was gut at hiding things from people,” Andy said.
“Indeed he was.” Mammi let go of her memories and focused again on those in front of her. “When he passed, I asked Deborah to let me come and stay, but she also insisted that I wasn’t needed. I’m afraid we had a bit of an argument about it, and I ended up leaving without saying goodbye. I apologize for that. It was wrong of me.”
The fire crackled, and Mia tapped the thread spools against the floor. Everyone else was mesmerized by Mammi’s story.
“I didn’t know until last week that she had left you all alone. I wondered why she hadn’t answered my letters, but then Deborah never was that gut about writing.”
“I didn’t know if I should open them or not.” Sarah understood now that she should have opened them, and she should have thought to write her grandmother herself. Why had she tried to deal with everything on her own? “They weren’t addressed to me.”
“It’s gut that you value your mamm’s privacy. Ya, in spite of the challenges this family has endured, it’s plain to see you were raised correctly.”
“Wait until she catches Isaac with frogs in his pockets,” Luke said.
Mammi nodded but didn’t address that particular topic. “You have all done a gut job without either parent, and taking in Mateo and Mia—well, from what Sarah has told me, Gotte placed these children on her heart. We’re glad you are here, Mateo.”
Mateo ducked his head and stared at his hands.
“And little Mia.”
“Why?” Mia asked, and everyone laughed.
She barely looked up, squirming onto her tummy to better see her tiny people, as she called them.
“I am glad I came to help. Your grandfather died before your parents married, but he was a wise man, and I loved him very much. He used to say that it takes many people to raise a family. It takes the community.” She held her hands out, far apart from one another, and moved them steadily closer to one another.
“The church, our neighbors, and finall
y…” now her hands were clasped together. “Family. Kinfolk. Those who share your blood and know your deepest hurts as well as your grandest joys.”
“We’re not family,” Mateo pointed out.
“You are a special addition,” Mammi said. “And although we don’t share blood, we share something just as important—a path that Gotte has put us on at the same time.”
“How long will you stay, Mammi?” This from Andy, who probably remembered their father’s mother better than anyone else. She had visited a few times over the years, but Sarah only remembered that the visits were somewhat tense and short. Now she saw that her father had probably been to blame for that. His illness, both the highs and the lows, caused him to want to experience those things alone, with only his immediate family near. Some part of him must have been ashamed of his condition.
“The short answer is as long as you need me. The long answer? As long as you want me, as long as I’m helpful, as long as I feel that the Lord desires for me to be here. But know this…I’m prepared to stay permanently if that’s what we as a family decide is best.”
Sarah felt tears pricking her eyes and glanced away, but Mammi was still talking, still binding their wounds with her words of love.
“I won’t be running out on you. You can trust me, kinner. Maybe there haven’t been a lot of adults in your life you could count on, but you can trust me. And while I haven’t been there much in your past, I’m here now. I’m here, and I’m ready to make up for lost time.”
CHAPTER 43
Mateo had never had a grandmother before, not that he could remember. At first, he’d felt shy around Mammi. It was plain how much she loved her grandchildren, but he wasn’t family. It was obvious that Mammi and Sarah were related. Though Mammi was larger, they both had eyes the same color and shape—blue and oval. He’d learned that word in math class last week. Oval—like a squished circle.
He had heard Luke say they didn’t need another adult telling them what to do, but he’d laughed when he said it, so maybe he didn’t mind Mammi being there. Andy and Henry seemed happy to have clean clothes and better meals. She’d arrived on Thursday, and Mateo woke up Saturday morning to the smell of cinnamon rolls. They had to be the best thing Mateo had ever eaten—that and the fresh milk a neighbor had brought over.
As for Sarah, she was finally smiling again, and the dark circles under her eyes were disappearing. Plus, she was remembering to wear the same color socks. He hadn’t realized how hard it was for her, caring for them all. He decided it was a good thing that Mammi had come, because Sarah was starting to look more rested and less worried.
It didn’t take long to see that Mammi did care for him and Mia. She was kind and patient with his little sister, and though Mia still seemed attached to Sarah’s side, she also ran readily to help Mammi whenever she was called.
For the first time in his life, Mateo felt as if he was surrounded by an entire group of people who cared about him and Mia, who would support them no matter what. He thought of Mammi’s hands—fingers intertwined, palms pressed against each other. He remembered the way she had talked about family. That’s what they were, the eight of them. They were two hands clasped together.
“Mateo, would you take this saucer of milk to the porch?” Mammi poured the extra little bit that Mia hadn’t finished into a small plate. “I saw a small barn cat yesterday who looked as if he could use fattening up.”
“You like cats?”
“I like how they keep the snakes and mice away. Wouldn’t want one in the house, but we can still care for the little guy.”
That made sense to him. He walked out the front door, carefully holding the saucer of milk so as not to spill it. The cat appeared out of nowhere and began meowing and winding between his legs. He’d barely set the saucer down when the little thing greedily began lapping. He reached out a hand and stroked the cat from the crown of its yellow head, down its back, and to its white and yellow tail. The cat purred like the engine of a car. He’d never had a pet before.
“I’m going to call you Motor,” he said.
The clatter of buggy wheels broke the morning’s quiet. He looked up to see not one or two, but three buggies headed down their lane. Was something wrong? Had they found his mother? But if that had happened, he would see probably Tommy’s car or maybe the bishop’s buggy. But it wouldn’t take three buggies.
He turned to fetch Sarah or Mammi and nearly bumped into them.
“Looks like we have visitors.” Mammi’s tone told Mateo that she liked having company.
“I’m not expecting anyone.” Sarah hurried down the steps. When she turned to smile at them, Mateo knew that everything was okay. “Looks like a ladies’ visit.”
“I love those. And we have a few leftover cinnamon rolls. I’ll run inside and put on the teakettle.”
Mateo sat on the step beside Motor.
“What’s up?” Isaac asked, coming out and sitting down beside him.
“Beats me,” he said. “I named the cat Motor.”
“Great name! Can we keep her?”
“Him according to Mammi, and she says we can as long as he stays outside.”
“Awesome!”
They high-fived, and then Sarah called out to them.
“We’re going to need Luke and Henry, and even Andy if you can find him.”
She’d hugged the three women. He knew Rebecca, who owned the dry goods store. He heard Sarah refer to the other two as Becca and Suzie. They looked alike, though Becca was bigger than her mom—at least her stomach was. The women began pulling sacks of items out of the buggies.
“Better do as she says.” Isaac tugged on his arm. “If we don’t go now, we’ll end up dragging all that stuff inside by ourselves.”
As they hurried past the buggies to the barn, Mateo saw that two mattresses had been secured to the storage areas at the back of the buggies. Already, it seemed normal to him to place groceries or food in the little boxes rather than in the trunk of a car. Already, he preferred the horses to an automobile.
Thirty minutes later they had taken the larger mattress to Mateo’s room, the smaller one to Mia’s room, and were separating the clothes into what fit him and Mia now and what they would save for later.
“How about these pants, Mateo?” Becca’s stomach was like a small volleyball. She was Sarah’s close friend. She often put her hands on her stomach, and once she’d even grabbed Sarah’s hand and placed it there. He had no idea what that was about. “There’s black and dark blue and brown.”
“Do you like them?” Sarah asked.
“Ya. They look just like Isaac’s.”
“Say, Mateo. There are Englisch and Amish clothes here.” Sarah carefully folded another shirt. “We’re going to put several sets of both in your room, and you wear whatever you feel most comfortable in.”
Mateo nodded, and suddenly he couldn’t swallow at all. Fortunately, he was saved from crying in front of everyone by Mia. She had found a bag with clothes for her and pulled out a prayer kapp. He had asked Sarah about those last week, and she had explained that Amish girls kept their head covered when they were in public. Mia apparently liked the idea because when she found the kapp, she plopped down on the floor and tried to put it on her head.
Everyone laughed, including Mia, and then the older woman, Becca’s mom, helped her to put it on correctly.
Mateo didn’t think either he or his sister were going to want the Englisch clothes. Who wanted to look different from everyone else? No, he’d be leaving those in the drawer. Unless his mother came back, which was something that he didn’t want to think about. So instead, he accepted a piece of chocolate from Mammi and followed the boys out to the barn.
But later, when he saw the women preparing to leave, he gathered his courage and approached Rebecca.
“You run the store, the one across from the barn and trailer?”
“I do, with my husband, and sometimes Paul helps.”
“Paul’s our neighbor now.”
<
br /> “He is.”
“I…I need to apologize.” Mateo wanted to stare at the ground, but he forced himself to look up and into Rebecca’s eyes. He saw only kindness there, and perhaps that gave him the courage to confess.
“I took food and stuff from your Dumpster in the back. And once…once I came inside and took some Tylenol. It was for Mia, because she was sick, but I knew…even then, I knew it was wrong.”
Rebecca squatted down so that she was at eye level with him.
“I accept your apology, Mateo, on one condition.”
He nodded, hoping he could do whatever she wanted. Perhaps she would ask him to work to pay for what he’d taken, or even go to the police station and tell Sheriff Bynum.
“The condition is if you will forgive me.”
“For what?”
“That we didn’t notice you were in need. That we were too busy to find you and care for you.”
Mateo didn’t know what to say. Had anyone ever apologized to him before? On an impulse, he threw his arms around Rebecca’s neck and hugged her tightly.
As the women drove away, Mateo felt better than he could ever remember feeling. He hadn’t realized that the memory of what he’d stolen had bothered him so much. He hadn’t understood that he needed to make things right.
But now he knew, and he’d learned his lesson.
The next time he needed help, he would ask.
CHAPTER 44
Tuesday was the first day that Sarah hadn’t had a major mess to deal with. After Becca, Suzie, and Mary Beth had left on Saturday, they had spent the morning rearranging the boys’ room to make space for one more bed. “There was a time I had four boys in one room.” Mammi helped to move the dresser so that they could put Mateo’s new mattress along the wall and between Isaac’s and Luke’s beds. It looked like a U-shaped sleeping arrangement.
They placed the dressers at the end of the two beds. There was enough room, but just barely. Fortunately, Isaac hadn’t minded cleaning out half of his drawers for Mateo.
“They even brought sheets.” Sarah felt a deep satisfaction as she made up the twin-sized bed. Apparently, someone had sent out a call, and they had received donations from nearly every family in their church.
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