Across Mateo’s hand, Isaac had written—he’s brave, he can fish good, he’s my bruder.
Across Isaac’s hand, Mateo had written—he’s funny, I can trust him, he’s my hermano.”
Mateo pointed to the Spanish word. “Brian says it’s okay for me to use Spanish when I want to. I think of Isaac as my real brother—my blood brother—so I wanted to write it in Spanish.”
He thought of his mother’s letter in his pocket, written in Spanish, in the language that they shared. He pictured the words Gracias a Dios and hoped that she understood God would look after each of them, no matter their language.
“Thank you for showing me this, Mateo. You boys both do very good work, and it’s nice to see how much you care for each other.” Judge Murphy handed him back his sheet. He refolded it and stuck it in his pocket, next to his mother’s letter.
Sarah was studying him.
Judge Murphy had stood up and was placing her folder on her desk.
Tommy was fiddling with his glasses.
Suddenly Mateo’s eyes filled with tears again. He’d been so worried about this day, and now it was nearly over.
Judge Murphy returned to the chair she had been sitting in. She leaned forward and studied Mateo. Finally, she said, “You told me before that you’d like to stay with Sarah. That you felt safe and happy there. How do you feel now?”
Mateo swallowed past the lump in his throat and glanced at Sarah. She nodded her head. She gave him the courage to go on.
“I love my mamá. I always will, but I remember living in the old trailer, behind the abandoned barn, and before that behind the store where she worked, and before that in a tiny, dirty apartment. My mamá did the best she could, but maybe she needs to focus on taking care of herself.”
“We can give you all the time you want, Mateo. This isn’t a decision we have to make today.”
“It doesn’t matter if you ask me today or mañana.” Sometimes Mateo’s thoughts still came out in Spanish. Sarah told him that was a good thing. That he could be proud of being Hispanic and of being Plain. “I love my old family and my new one, but I want to live with Sarah.”
The judge nodded, carefully considering his words, and then she said something that did make Sarah cry. That part of his dream came true too. “Then I’m going to approve permanent placement for you and Mia in the home of Sarah Yoder.”
CHAPTER 81
The fact that they’d been in the courtroom an hour gave Paul hope. A simple no wouldn’t have taken so long.
When he heard a small, collective shout, he dared to look at Chloe and Rebecca and Joseph. Their smiles were reflections of his own. Surely that shout was a positive sign.
But when Sarah walked through the door of the courtroom, the second that he saw her, he knew. Mateo and Mia were officially a part of the Yoder family.
Everyone began talking at once.
Rebecca and Mammi were embracing.
Joseph was slapping Andy on the back. Bishop Levi was reaching for a stick of gum and offering some to the children. Henry, Luke, Isaac, and Mateo were high-fiving one another and grinning as if they had just won the annual buggy race. Little Mia was rubbing at her eyes as if she’d just woken up.
And Sarah?
Sarah was standing in the middle of the room, holding Mia, Chloe’s arms around her, encircled by her family.
Paul stood on the edge, gratitude swelling in his heart until he had to reach up and rub at his chest. Joy, unmitigated and flowing over, filled his very being. He fought the urge to shout in celebration. He blinked away hot tears.
Chloe glanced up and locked eyes with him. She squeezed Sarah’s arm and motioned toward Paul with a nod of her head.
Sarah didn’t look at him. She handed Mia to her friend, and then she turned and walked up to Paul.
When she reached his side, she simply said, “Danki.”
“For?”
“Everything.”
“I should be thanking you.” He shook his head, unable to put into words all that he was feeling. Instead, he asked, “It’s official?”
“It is.”
The whoop erupted from him. Paul jerked his hat off his head and slapped it against his leg. He wanted to pull Sarah into his arms, spin her around, and kiss her pretty lips. But suddenly Chloe was saying, “She was just here,” everyone was laughing, and they began the search for Mia.
It didn’t take too long to find her squatting beside the far side of the water cooler and giggling.
“You found me!” She ran to Paul and raised her arms. He picked her up, raised her up to the sky, and the smile on her face felt like his own.
It wasn’t until they were once again riding home in the van that Rebecca asked him, “Will you ask her to marry you?”
“I already have. You know that.”
“I meant will you ask her again.”
“Energy and persistence conquer all things,” Joseph said.
“Haven’t heard that one. Amish proverb?”
“Benjamin Franklin.” Rebecca was once again knitting. “He tends to read whatever comes through the store, and we have a book of sayings by him.”
“A wise man, even if he was an Englischer.”
Paul stared out the window the rest of the way home. He would never claim to be an expert on courting. He had all the energy in the world, but persistence?
How were you supposed to keep after something when nothing seemed to work?
Or maybe…maybe it wasn’t about finding the right gimmick to win a girl’s heart. Sure, his mamm had told him that every girl liked flowers, and Rebecca had suggested that a meal where a woman doesn’t have to cook was special. No doubt both ideas were good. But maybe what he needed to do was apply himself to being the man he wanted to be—for Sarah.
Yeah, that sounded like the right path.
That made complete sense.
He knew exactly what he’d do, what he’d been longing to do. He’d thought he should wait until she said yes, but maybe not. Maybe he should start now, and be persistent.
Paul closed his eyes, and the miles from Tulsa to Cody’s Creek slipped away. He might have even fallen asleep. Wishing Rebecca and Joseph a good night, he whistled as he walked out to his place. He could have asked the driver to take him there, but he wanted the evening walk.
He had some planning to do.
CHAPTER 82
Sarah sat on the front porch, thinking that summer was her favorite time of year. June had given way to July, and soon the children would be going back to school. Andy had taken the tractor to see Emma. He’d winked and told Sarah that he had dinner, ice cream, and a very important question on his mind. Her brother had grown up. Sarah didn’t doubt for one minute that very soon their family would be increasing by one.
Henry, Luke, Isaac, and Mateo were playing horseshoes. Metal against metal rang out as the sun dipped toward the horizon. It had been a long week. In truth, every week exhausted her, but it was a good tiredness that coursed through her bones and caused her to fall asleep as soon as she lay in bed beneath her summer quilt.
Mia crouched on the patch of grass next to the porch, playing with her Amish dolls. She would occasionally hide one and a few minutes later send the others to find it. Sarah still did not understand her daughter’s fascination with hide-and-seek, but there was no doubt that the child was happy.
Mammi called from inside, “Tell Paul I have extra maple cream pie.”
“But he isn’t—” The words died on Sarah’s lips as he stepped out of the twilight.
Paul had changed in the last two months. She couldn’t put her finger on how exactly. He was as courteous as ever. He still frowned when he was deep in thought. He was attentive to the children. But to Sarah it seemed he’d taken a step back. Was he regretting that he had once asked her to marry him? He hadn’t brought it up again, and she was embarrassed to broach the subject.
Maybe his feelings had changed. Possibly the permanent adoption of Mia and Mateo had frightened h
im.
“Pretty evening to enjoy outside.”
“It is.”
Mia darted past them, one doll in each hand.
“Still hiding the third?”
“At least twice a day. That doll ends up in the laundry each week because Mia insists on putting her in the oddest places.”
Mia stopped suddenly, turned around, and noticed Paul.
Without saying a word, she flung herself at him. He lifted her high in the air, laughed when she patted his cheeks, and then set her back down. “Best go find your dolly.”
She traipsed away.
Paul sat beside Sarah, and they watched the sun make its westerly descent. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply of summer smells—fresh cut hay, blooming azaleas, Paul. Yes, she believed she would know the man had walked into a room even if she wore a blindfold. He never failed to clean up before stopping by. Was that courting? When a man washed up before visiting his neighbor?
“There’s something I want to show you.”
She opened her eyes slowly, studied him, and said, “I can’t leave the children.”
“I’ll watch them,” Mammi called out through the kitchen window.
They both started laughing at the same time. “It seems that I’ve been given permission to go.”
“Don’t need my permission.” Mammi was humming a hymn from Sunday. Like Mateo and Mia, she had become an important part of their household. Sarah couldn’t imagine life without her father’s mother.
“You’re a grown woman,” she added.
Sarah was mortified, but Paul only laughed again and reached for her hand.
“Hey, Paul.” Henry paused midthrow. “You wanna play horseshoes?”
“Nein. I’m going for a walk with Sarah.”
One of the boys made kissing sounds, but Sarah couldn’t tell if it was Isaac or Mateo.
“All right. But you need the practice. You lost four games straight last weekend.”
Instead of going to the road, Paul led her across the fields, toward the fence line that bordered their two properties. Was he going to show her how Andy’s crop had grown? The corn was nearly as tall as she was. It had been weeks since she’d been out here. And though she’d been thinking of how tired she was just a few minutes ago, Sarah experienced a sudden surge of energy, almost giddiness.
Perhaps it was the clean air, or the bounty before her, or the man at her side.
Paul stopped next to the fence.
Though the light was fading, she could make out well enough the gate that he’d installed.
“When did you do this?”
“Last week.”
“And no one told me? You did a gut job.” Sarah stepped closer, raised the latch, and opened the gate. “It even works.”
“Imagine that.”
She could hear the laughter in his voice. After he’d followed her through to his property and secured the gate, he once again claimed her hand.
“Danki, Paul. That will save the boys a good amount of time not having to walk around between the two.”
“The idea came to me the day Isaac tore his pants trying to climb over.”
“That was quite the mending job, and it was quite a long time ago.”
“Yes, it took me a while to get around to the important things. I didn’t do it only for Isaac or Henry or Mateo, though. I did it for us as well.” He paused, as if he was expecting an answer from her.
But Sarah didn’t know what to say.
She didn’t trust herself to speak at all. Installing the gate was a small thing, not like flowers or a fancy dinner in town, but it was so thoughtful. It would certainly save everyone time.
It occurred to her then that their two farms had become inexplicably linked. And it wasn’t only that her brothers passed back and forth each day. The two households constantly turned to one another, whether Paul had burned his dinner or Sarah needed a hand with a broken water pipe. Whether the boys had a question they felt only a man could answer, or Paul needed a lesson in how to sew on a button.
Somehow, somewhere along the way, it was as if they had become one.
CHAPTER 83
As if they had become one…
Those words echoed through her mind as Paul led her across his fields and up to the house. Not the barn. The house.
She could just make out a new roof, cleaned windows, and a battery-operated lantern shining from the kitchen window. Sturdy steps led up to a porch that boasted a new floor and freshly painted railings. She was even more surprised to see two rocking chairs and a small table. This from a man who had been content to live in a barn for more than a year?
“When…when did you find the time to do this?”
“Over the last two months.”
She counted back and said, “Since the court day.”
“Ya.”
So that was where he’d been, why he hadn’t been stopping by as often, why he always seemed as if he had some secret that was lightening his step.
“Is the inside finished as well?”
“For sure and certain.”
“Can we…can I see it?”
“I did it for you, Sarah. Of course you can see it.” He was standing directly behind her now, his hands gently touching her arms. All she had to do was take one step back and she would be in his embrace. All she had to do was trust him.
She moved forward, and he opened the door.
Everything wasn’t new, but it was repaired, painted, and cleaned. He’d taken a building that was literally falling in on itself, and he had turned it into a home.
They walked through the entire house. It was beautiful. It would make someone a fine home. It would make Paul a fine home, but she couldn’t…
“Let’s sit out front,” he suggested.
He poured them two glasses of lemonade and carried them to the front porch. Sarah was grateful for the cool drink. Her throat felt as though it were being clenched by a giant fist. She held her glass with both hands, relieved that she had something to hang on to. Thankful he couldn’t see her shaking.
But Paul knew her.
He’d been at her side since the first day when Mateo pulled a bucket full of rinse water over his head. He’d helped her find Mia back when Mia’s hiding was something strange and terrifying. He’d listened to her fears and her hopes and her dreams.
She owed him an honest, straightforward answer.
“You’ve done a gut job here, Paul. It’s really quite amazing, the transformation.”
“I hear a but coming…”
“But if you did it for me, I don’t see how—” She glanced out at the lightning bugs signaling the end of the day, and then she forced herself to meet the gaze of this man she had grown to love.
“You don’t love me,” he whispered.
“I do.”
A smile wreathed his face.
“I do, but—”
He stood and pulled his rocker directly in front of hers so that they were sitting knee to knee.
“Sarah, do you love me?”
“Yes, but—”
He reached out and gently placed his two fingers against her lips.
“Do you love me?”
She nodded and tried to remember what she needed to tell him. He was holding both of her hands in his, and she thought of how she’d prayed for this—that God would see fit to give her a husband in addition to her family. She’d prayed for it, but she hadn’t dared to believe.
“I love you. We’ll make this work.”
“How? We’d live here and the children there? I can’t.”
“Of course you can’t, and I wouldn’t ask you to.”
“I don’t understand.”
Paul rubbed the backs of her hands with his thumbs. She didn’t realize she was shivering until that moment. On a warm night in July, she was shaking like a leaf in winter.
“You can choose, Sarah. We can live here and bring the children with us. Or we can live there.”
“What of your house?”
/>
“Andy will need a place.”
She very nearly gasped. She didn’t realize until that moment how much she’d worried about Andy, about his wife and his family. About how they’d make it work.
“You would do that? Allow him to live here?”
“We’d be a family, Sarah. Our two places—they would be one. You and I can stay in your house, with Mammi and Mia and the boys. Or we can—”
But she didn’t allow him to finish what else they could do. She threw her arms around him, laughing and allowing the tears to flow. Putting both hands on his cheeks, as she’d seen Mia do a hundred times, she said, “I love you, Paul Byler.”
“Do you now?”
“And my answer is yes.”
“Is it?” He helped her to stand, slipped into her rocking chair, and pulled her onto his lap. “Well, that’s the best answer I’ve ever heard.”
She felt safe there in his arms. She knew now that she could navigate the ups and downs of life alone, but she also knew that she could dare to live her crazy life with Paul at her side.
She’d finally come home. She didn’t not know if her mother would ever return, but that no longer angered her. It was a miracle that her anger had melted away over the last year, through the writing of dozens of letters, learning to put herself in her mother’s shoes.
Finally, she understood that she wasn’t an orphan anymore and neither were her brothers or Mateo or Mia. God wouldn’t abandon them. He never had. He’d sent Mammi and Paul, their friends and neighbors, a compassionate judge, and a dedicated social worker.
God had given them one another.
That was the grandest miracle of all.
AUTHOR’S NOTE
There have been instances of Amish families adopting children outside of their ethnic and religious group.
According to the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute, nearly 400,000 children are living in the U.S. without permanent families. Of those, more than 100,000 are eligible for adoption. Around the world, nearly 18 million orphans have lost both parents and are living on the streets or in an orphanage.
Amber Alerts began in 1996 in the Dallas–Fort Worth area after the abduction and murder of Amber Hagerman. As of 2009, all 50 states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, and the U.S. Virgin Islands have Amber Alert plans.
Sarah's Orphans Page 31
