by Ryan Michele
“Yes ma’am. I’m Sadie. Nice to meet you.”
“It’s nice to meet you, too! How you likin’ Williamsfield?”
I just loved the Southern twang in her voice. It made me smile. “I’m just learning my way around.”
Suddenly, I remembered where I was. Oh yes, standing in the bathroom meeting a member of the town. Great.
“I’m Kay, and I’d love for you and Lauryn to come to dinner next Friday. I would like you to meet my family.”
Once again, I was fish out of water—stunned, shocked, and open-mouthed speechless.
After pulling myself together, I replied, “Thank you for the offer, but right now I’m just getting settled in. Maybe some other time.”
“Oh absolutely. We’ll do it soon! I’ll be in touch.”
“Okay.”
As I walked around her, I remembered whom I was walking to … Landon.
Looking at our table, I saw him with his head in his hands, elbows resting on the table. Was he mad? I slowly made my way over.
Halfway there, he raised his head and the look on his face was heartbreaking. His forehead was covered in wrinkles as if he was in deep thought, and his eyes were glazed over as if he were sad about something.
The instant he saw me, the look erased from his face, and he stood up from the table.
“Sadie, are you okay?”
“Yep. I’m fine.” I gave him a small smile sitting back in the seat.
“Did I say something to upset you?” His voice was laced with concern.
“No. I’m fine. Let’s order lunch.”
“We really need to talk. When I said you had a smart mouth, I didn’t finish. I liked it. It showed me you have spunk and don’t let others get to you. I didn’t mean anything bad by it.”
Trembling, my words came out quietly, “You liked it?”
“Yes. I do. I like that you speak your mind. I like that you rendered Ann speechless, which is not an easy task.” He smiled. “I like it all.” With those words, his hand reached up and grazed my cheek. It surprised me that I didn’t jolt away. Instead, I felt that same electricity and spark ignited deep inside me.
I closed my eyes and leaned into his warm touch. It had been so long since a man had touched with me with such kindness.
“Shit.” My eyes shot open at Landon, and he removed his hand from my cheek. I instantly felt the loss.
“What?” Did I do something wrong here? I thought things were going well.
“We have a visitor. I’m sorry ahead of time. She’s pushy, but she means well.”
Turning to see who he was talking about, I saw the woman from the bathroom darting to our table.
“Well Sadie, you didn’t tell me that you were here with one of my boys!” Oh. Shit. Landon’s mom. Really?
Landon rose from his seat and gave his mom a huge hug. I also stood up. “I didn’t know Landon was your son,” I said quietly. Now looking at her eyes, I saw them. They’re Landon’s piercing blue with navy edging.
“Mom … you know Sadie?” Landon’s confused look was almost funny.
“I just met her in the bathroom, dear. Now that I know you’ve met one of my boys, you have to come to dinner. No excuses.”
Was I really going to tell Landon’s mom no … I mean come on. Telling a strange lady in the bathroom no was one thing, but Landon’s mom, I couldn’t do that.
Looking over at Landon, I was greeted with one of his drop-dead adorable smiles, and I knew I was going to dinner.
Turning back to his mom, I answered, “Yes, Mrs. Ellison, I would like to come to dinner, and I’ll see if Lauryn can make it.”
“Great! But I insist you call me Kay. Now I have to get back to my library meeting in the back.”
“Wait. I didn’t see a library on the tour today.” I loved to read. It was my escape from everything going on in life. I mostly read romance novels in hopes that one day my luck would change when it came to men … still hoping on that one.
“Oh, we don’t … yet. I’m working on that, though.” And with a smile she went toward the back of the diner.
“Well, I guess you’re coming to dinner.” Landon smirked.
“Looks like I am. Is that okay?”
“Yes. We always love to have a beautiful woman at the table.”
I felt my face flush, and my pulse pick up. This was the feeling that I’d been dying inside for … for forever. I wanted to trust it so badly, but I knew I needed to stay cautious. The word playboy kept chiming in. I could see how he could charm the pants off any woman.
Conversation during lunch was calm and actually fun. He made me laugh, which I hadn’t done in quite some time.
Even though I didn’t reveal too much of myself during this time, he was able to pick up my slack mostly talking about the town and what there was to do here.
“Let’s go. I want to show you something.”
“Okay,” I said hesitantly. “Where are we going?”
“Some place I want you to see.”
Standing up from the booth, Landon placed his hand on the small of my back and began to lead me to the door, causing my body to instantly flush and heat up just from his touch.
“Landon!” a woman’s screeching voice yelled. It sounded like nails on a chalkboard, which caused me to shiver and pause from where I was walking.
Turning toward the voice, I saw the same beautifully curvy, blonde bombshell from the bar and the party last night running to us, her boobs bouncing. Watching her every move, I felt strange in a way I couldn’t describe. It was defensiveness, possessiveness, annoyance, and envy all wrapped together, and it put me on guard. I couldn’t put my finger on these feelings because Landon wasn’t mine.
“Shit,” Landon muttered under his breath, and I turned to look at him.
This is just great …
“Landon! I’m glad I caught you.” The bombshell was out of breath. Maybe she should hit the gym. Catty yes, but it happened.
“What do you need Meg?” Landon’s voice was dismissive. Meg turned and looked me up and down. I had so many comebacks to throw at her, but in the moment I held my tongue and smiled.
Meg smiled back and turned to Landon. “Remember when I stopped by your office before the party?”
“Yes, what about it Meg?” The anger in Landon’s voice was a bit surprising to me.
“Well, I’ve been thinking. How about tomorrow night, you and me get together and have some fun.” That little bitch walked up to Landon and ran her index finger down his arm. Now I knew that I had no claim to Landon, nor did I want any, but in that moment I really wanted to break her finger, which was saying a lot since I hated when my bones were broken.
Clearing his throat, Landon reached to Meg’s finger and pulled it off of him. “No, Meg. I told you that I didn’t want to see you anymore.”
Her smirk said she thought otherwise. “Landon, look, I know that you’ll be done with … this.” The bitch actually pointed her boney-ass finger at me, raking me from head to toe. My blood started boiling, but I held myself together. Who the hell did this bitch think she was? “By the end of tonight. So you wanna meet up for some fun tomorrow.”
“No. Meg.” Turning to look at Landon, his entire face was beet red, and his hands were balled up in fists at his side. Holy shit. He’s not going to punch her … is he?
Looking around the diner, all eyes were on us. I knew everyone who was anyone would hear about it in the next few minutes. Why did I feel the instant need to defuse the situation?
I took a step forward to Meg. “Look, Meg is it?” She nodded. “Well, I’m new here and Landon is showing me around. I’m not interested in all this.” I motioned to the entire room. “So, can you just talk to Landon later?”
Landon looked at me like I had four eyeballs, and I just smiled at him.
Meg, on the other hand, became pissed. “Who do you think you are telling me when I can talk to him?” she screeched.
I shook my head at the sound of her voice. “I’m
Sadie. Thanks for asking.”
“I don’t give a shit what your name is.” Meg’s voice was beginning to be a full on yell, and I knew that any attempt to defuse this wouldn’t work. This woman was on a mission, and I didn’t need the diner’s attention on it.
“Okay, well I gotta go,” I said and went to leave. I didn’t have time for this shit.
The bitch grabbed my elbow as I walked past her. I instantly ripped my arm out of her grasp and went up to her, toe-to-toe. I was a bit taller so I had a height advantage. I had no intention of fighting her; I just wanted to make it clear that she wasn’t going to put her hands on me ever again.
“Do. Not. Put. Your. Hands. On. Me.” I ground my teeth. I could feel Landon’s heat against by back. The bitch didn’t even flinch at my words. Shit, I gotta work on that.
Meg whispered, so we were the only ones who could hear. “He will throw you out like all the other whores he fucks. Then, like always, he’ll come back to me. He always comes back to me.”
That bitch. My blood was boiling over with anger. My restraint was getting harder to hold on to. She called me one of Landon’s whores. I may be a lot of things, but a whore is not one of them. Rob always accused me of ‘whoring’ around, and I fucking hated it.
“Meg …” Landon began, but I held my hand up to ward him off. This was my battle, and I was going to do this even though that little seed in me was super happy he tried to step in for me.
“First, Meg,” I accentuated the g sound at the end. “I am no one’s whore and never will be.” Staring into her eyes, I continued, “Second, if Landon wants to screw a slut like you, more power to him. And third, don’t ever get in my face again. I’ve learned lots of things over the years, and I’m not afraid to use them.” Okay, so maybe I was afraid to use them, but she didn’t need to know that.
With that said, I turned on my heel and walked out of the diner. Not knowing exactly where I would go, I saw a bench on the other side of the street. Crossing, I tried to calm myself down. Breathing wasn’t working. I sat down on the empty bench, rested my head so it was facing the sky, and closed my eyes willing myself calm.
I had always felt trapped with Rob, holding in all my feelings and thoughts. It actually felt good to get them out on Meg—empowering actually—not that I would tell a soul. I couldn’t help the small smile that helped relieve some of the tension in my body.
I felt the hairs on the back of my neck come to attention. I knew Landon was near. I seemed to be able to feel him before I saw him. Feeling the bench move next to me, I heard him sigh.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.
I opened my eyes and looked at him. “Why? You can’t help it she’s a bitch,” I said, smiling at him.
“That she is, but it was uncalled for.”
“Yes, but she obviously has feelings for you. You must feel something for her since you’ve been with her. She felt threatened by the new girl, but there is nothing to be afraid of. I’m not gonna take her man.” I gazed back up at the sky.
Landon reached over and grabbed my hand. In shock, I looked at my hand and then him. “I’m not her man, Sadie. I’m not an angel by any means.” Sighing, he continued, “Look, you’ll hear lots of things about me, and I don’t apologize for it. It is what it is. But just know I’m no one’s man.”
“Glad we cleared that up,” I said, turning my gaze back to the sky.
“Shit Sadie. What do you want me to say?” His voice sounded hurt; surely I read that wrong.
“Landon, you don’t need to explain anything to me. We’re friends, and I told you I’m not looking for a man, so let’s just leave it at that.”
What I didn’t say to him was, looking for a man and having one right in front of your face were two completely different things, but I refused to be one of his ‘whores’ that he threw away, and I definitely didn’t want a relationship.
Gaining strength I didn’t know I had, I let the words flow out of my mouth. “Look Landon, I’ll never be one of your whores … ever.”
Jolting when Landon’s hand touched the side of my face, our eyes locked. “No Sadie, you would never be a whore … to me or anyone.”
I closed my eyes feeling … I don’t know … relief?
“Landon, I really think you should take me home now.” I really wanted to get away and be alone for a while. I just needed to be able to think.
Without any fight, Landon stood up. “Come on, I’ll take ya.”
I was actually surprised he didn’t argue. He stayed true to his word and was going to take me home. I wasn’t quite sure how to process that.
Being able to trust another human being, especially a man, was very hard for me. I only had a very select few that I knew I could count on … well, with certain things. I’d be lying to myself if I said I so didn’t want to trust Landon, but I did. With everything I had.
But I knew it would never work. He would have sex with me and throw me aside like all the rest. I couldn’t handle that. I’d been thrown for years, and I couldn’t have it from Landon, too.
The drive back to the house was unbelievably quiet—neither of us saying a word. When he finally pulled into the driveway, I felt relieved. The comfort of my bed was calling me, even though it was the afternoon.
“Thanks, Landon. I’ll see you at dinner,” I said, smiling. I tried not to show my confusion over the whole day.
“I was hoping to see you before then. Maybe dinner tomorrow night?” Landon asked.
“I can’t,” I replied.
“Why not? Friends go to dinner.”
“I know they do, but we just spent time together today. I have some things to do, but thank you.”
“Look Sadie, I’m really sorry about Meg. I do not and would not ever see you as a ‘whore’ as she put it. You’re nowhere near that word to me.”
“It’s okay Landon. I’ll see you around.” I stepped out of the truck and made my way into the house. I swore I heard Landon say something, but I ignored it and kept walking.
“Lauryn!” I yelled, but she didn’t answer.
Tossing my stuff on the table, I threw myself on the couch. With my mind spinning like a tilt-a-whirl, I felt as if I was going to throw up.
Taking slow, deep breaths, I reminded myself why I was here, hiding out from Rob, not thinking about another man.
Damn if today wasn’t about perfect, though; well, except for my mini freak out in the bathroom and the Meg sighting. Landon was kind, held my doors for me, and was concerned when he knew I was upset. And it wasn’t that fake concern ‘cause I can spot that a mile away, thanks to Rob. He was genuine about it. What touched me more than I’d like to admit was the simple fact that he didn’t see me as a whore. Which sounded stupid considering I knew that I wasn’t one nor would I ever be one, but him saying it felt good.
The playboy didn’t see me as a plaything. Now what he saw me as … I had no idea, but not something to sleep with and leave. I thought that was a good thing.
But the biggest problem was I just couldn’t be with him. I couldn’t even if he saw me differently than the rest. I was too messed up and there was too much baggage.
This realization made me sad. Tears began to roll down my cheeks—why I wasn’t entirely sure, but they continued to fall. How could I be sad about something I never had in the first place?
I felt this strong urge to hit something—beat something. I needed to get to the gym. My fists connecting with the bag over and over again helped relieve some of my pent up frustration, but not all of it.
Sitting down on the workbench, I grabbed my water and took a huge gulp. I was sweaty and really needed a shower.
“Hey bro,” I heard Lukas’s voice from behind me and turned to look at him.
“Hey.”
“What’s wrong?” Lukas asked.
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit. It’s all around town that you were out with Sadie today. Not go so hot?” Lukas smirked.
“Fuck you,” I barked, which in tur
n made him laugh.
“Oh … come on, don’t tell me that you finally realized that she isn’t your normal bag and tag.”
“Shut. It.” I yelled.
His laughter was causing the other members to take notice.
“Okay, okay … calm down here.” Lukas’s voice cut through the punches.
“Now why would I want to do that when I’m imagining your face is the one thing I’m punching,” I said, continuing to punch.
“Oh, come on. You know she’s not Stacy.”
Turning my eyes on him, I saw red. I didn’t want to hear about her. Being already pissed off at him, I did the best thing I could do … walk away.
The hot shower did nothing to calm me. Did I know Sadie wasn’t like Stacy? No, not for sure. I didn’t need my brother shoving Stacy down my throat. The best thing that woman did for me was move out of this town.
Getting out of the shower, I headed over to my locker and sitting on the bench was Lukas. Go figure. I should have known he wouldn’t go away that easily.
“What do you want Lukas?” I asked while digging through my bags to find my clothes.
“I know you’re not into the brother advice thing, but you’re gonna get it.” Sighing, I listened.
“Landon, ever since ‘it’ happened, you’ve been a mess. First, it was the booze, and now the women. I get that you want to have a good time with no strings. Hell, I like that. But it needs to change. It’s been years, and the one night stands really aren’t you. You never did it before Stacy.”
“You think I don’t know that,” I snapped.
“And it scares the hell out of you, I get that, but not all women are like her.”
Yes … it scared the hell out of me. And didn’t that make me a pussy.
“This whole talking about feelings shit is making me all warm and fuzzy,” I said sarcastically.
“Damn it, Landon! Don’t fuck this up. I don’t know if this thing with Sadie will work, but get your head out of your ass and see,” Lukas said, standing up. “Bro, you got the shit end of the deal. Everyone agrees. But it’s time to move past it. You don’t want to pass something up by being a pussy.”
