Sugar Secrets…& Jealousy

by Mel Sparke

  She asked none of these things - she didn’t have the nerve. Instead, she came and sat down beside him and watched as he took another gulp from the can.

  “Does it bother you having Gabrielle working there?” Matt asked suddenly. Anna wanted to say, It depends on how much it bothers you, but again something stopped her. Fear of what he might answer? She wasn’t sure. She suddenly wished she’d asked him the same question first.

  “Uh… no,” she replied at last, without great certainty. “Why - should it?”

  Matt shrugged. “No reason, I guess.”

  “Does it you?” she asked.

  Matt shook his head adamantly. “No, of course not,” he replied, a little too quickly. “Makes no difference to me if she’s there or not.”

  The conversation wasn’t going well. The subject of Gabrielle hadn’t come up much since Anna and Matt started going out together. Why would it? And once Gabrielle and Matt were no longer an item, she had completely disappeared off the scene. Anna supposed that could be because at fourteen - no, fifteen now she corrected herself - she was a few years younger than Matt and his friends. She hadn’t forged any special friendships among the gang in the time they’d gone out together, nor did she hang out in the same places they did.

  But more than that, Anna wondered if Gabrielle had deliberately put some space between herself and Matt. Perhaps she felt guilty about the way she’d dumped him on New Year’s Eve - the time for making great plans, rather than breaking hearts.

  And Matt’s feelings in all this? Anna didn’t have a clue. He certainly hadn’t looked too chuffed to see Gabrielle earlier on today. He’d seemed awkward, confused and embarrassed at the same time. Three adjectives you didn’t normally associate with Matt Ryan, the guy Anna had got to know and love.

  Maybe that’s the effect Gabrielle has on him, she thought. Maybe he isn’t over her, after all…

  “Anyway, I ought to have my bath before the water goes cold,” Anna announced, keen to change the subject. “D’you want to wait?”

  “Uh, no, I’ll get going,” said Matt, standing up and placing his half empty can on the coffee table. “I only called in to say hi.”

  And get the low-down on Gabrielle, Anna thought tetchily.

  “What are you up to in the week?” he added, heading for the door.

  “I’m going to my mum’s,” she said flatly, looking hurt and angry at the same time.

  “Geez, sorry, Anna,” Matt squirmed, “of course you are. I… uh, forgot.”

  Yeah and I bet I know why, thought Anna agitatedly.

  “I’ll call you there tomorrow evening then, OK?”

  “Look, leave it, Matt,” she replied, yanking the door open and standing aside. Seeing the embarrassment on his face, she softened a touch. “At least for a day or two. I reckon I’ll have a pretty stressful time of it coping with Mum.”

  “Yeah and I guess you don’t want me adding to the stress,” he huffed. “I’ll see you when you get back then.”

  Giving her the briefest of kisses on the forehead, Matt turned away and left.

  Thoroughly agitated, Anna headed off for her bath at last. As she lay in the warm, foamy water, her mind was working overtime.

  He’s not over her, she thought. He still loves her. As for me? I’m just the girl he picked up with on the rebound. Now she’s back I don’t stand a chance.

  CHAPTER 10

  JEALOUSY AND CONFUSION

  “Hi, Matt.”

  Matt smiled at Gabrielle and slid into the red leatherette seat by the café window. He began studying the menu, even though he knew what he wanted. He was just buying time, making sure he was going to handle the situation with his ex better this time.

  He felt bad about the way he’d reacted yesterday when he’d first seen her. As he’d said to Anna, it was a huge shock after such a long time. He had felt so incredibly awkward, standing there, his girlfriend on one side, his ex on the other.

  Even now, Matt didn’t quite know what to make of the situation. But he figured that so long as Anna didn’t feel uncomfortable about it, there was no real reason for him to.

  Matt was aware that Gabrielle was standing next to him, notepad in hand, looking completely at home. “How are you getting on?” he found himself asking her.

  “Fine, I feel like I’ve been here forever,” she smiled. “Do you want your usual?”

  “The fry-up?” he said. Then, looking directly at her, added incredulously, “You remember?”

  Gabrielle nodded but said nothing and then Matt realised that he’d embarrassed her. She sometimes used to make fun of him for the way he shovelled fried food into himself at every available opportunity, warning him about zits and cholesterol and stuff.

  “Uh… anything else?” Gabrielle managed to say finally, her pen poised professionally over the pad.

  “A large Coke, please.” Matt looked round the less than heaving café. “Not so busy in here as I expected. You haven’t driven all the customers away already, have you?”

  He grinned and Gabrielle laughed, then replied in a low voice, “I think I might have done. The number of people I’ve had to ask to repeat their order because I can’t read my own writing is rising by the hour…”

  Drying her hands on a towel, Anna wandered out from the kitchen to say goodbye to Gabrielle and let her know Ollie had just arrived for work to cope with the lunchtime rush. Anna then had forty-five minutes to get changed, put a few things in a bag and get to the station in time to catch the train to Manchester. She had spent a long time in the bath the night before, analysing her anxiety over Gabrielle, and had come to the conclusion that she was probably over-reacting. The prospect of spending the next few days with her mother didn’t help either. She was on edge and it showed.

  Anna was disappointed Matt hadn’t come into the End that morning because she wanted to put things right between them before she went away. Now, as she walked into the café, she wondered if she’d have time to give him a quick call before catching her train.

  The scene she took in was unexpected and unnerving. Gabrielle was leaning over Matt and they both seemed to be laughing at something on her order pad. As Gabrielle straightened up, her fingers brushed Matt’s shoulder. Anna stood rooted to the spot staring at the pair of them. She suddenly felt inexplicably jealous. Worse than that, she felt she was intruding.

  Retreating silently into the kitchen, she told Ollie she would see him on Saturday and left.

  “I’m dreading knowing…”

  “I’m sure you’ll have done OK.”

  “But OK isn’t good enough. I want to do well. I don’t want to have just scraped through.”

  Kerry yanked her scrunchie roughly out of her curly mop of hair, tucked the few loose strands away from her face, then put it all back in a ponytail and pulled it as tight as she could.

  Huddled at their table in the café, Matt, Cat and Ollie were attempting to reassure an understandably uptight Kerry that her exam results weren’t any cause for concern. Kerry thought differently.

  “But you revised hard,” Ollie continued. “You couldn’t have done any more.”

  “I could have spent more time at weekends studying, rather than hanging out at the End.”

  “Everyone needs some kind of release. You’ll be fine.”

  “Aw, d’you think so, Ol?” she finally succumbed.

  “Of course I do.”

  “Thank you.” Kerry kissed her boyfriend on the lips and snuggled gratefully into his outstretched arms. She was glad he was confident about her results. She wasn’t. Just don’t think about it, she kept telling herself every time she did (which now, with less than a day to go, was approximately every thirty seconds). Change the subject.

  “So have you heard from Natasha?” she asked.

  Ollie shook his head. “I left a message with her agency yesterday to call me, but so far she hasn’t.”

  “Come on, Ol, be realistic,” interrupted Matt. “She’s living in Milan, having a fabulous time,
meeting loads of gorgeous people. Why would she want to go wasting her time speaking to a loser like you?”

  Ollie laughed. “Well, when you put it like that, I can see your point. But believe it or not, I am quite worried about her.” He explained about his sister’s strange phone call home to Matt and Cat. “Actually, I’ll be glad to get home tonight so I can try and call her up again,” he finished.

  “Why don’t you call her from here?” suggested Cat.

  “Nah. Imagine the change I’d need just for a few minutes’ conversation on that payphone. I don’t think so.”

  Matt put his hand in his jacket and pulled out his mobile. He flung it across the table at Ollie. “Here, use this.”

  “That’s really kind,” Ollie exclaimed, “but I couldn’t, mate. It’ll cost a packet.”

  Matt was insistent. “No, honestly, use it. I’ve got a special deal with the phone company at the moment for cheap international calls, You’ll be safe, mate.”

  “Are you sure?” Ollie toyed with the phone, sorely tempted to use it.

  “Definitely.”

  “Thanks, Matt, you’re a pal.”

  Ollie dialled Natasha’s home number in Milan and, fully expecting no answer again, waited numbly while the ringing tone shrilled in his left ear. Seeing the tense look on his face deepen as no one picked up at the other end, Kerry took his other hand in hers and gave it a comforting squeeze.

  Ollie was about to hang up when he heard a click and the phone sprang into life. A barrage of jumbled sounds blasted in his ear. Music was blaring, loads of different voices could be heard shouting and, finally, after several seconds, he heard a clear voice at the end of the line shout “Hello?”

  “Natasha?” said Ollie, slipping his hand from Kerry’s and pressing it to his ear.

  “Ol, is that you?” he heard his sister shout. “Oh, wow! Hey, everyone, it’s my twin brother calling up from home.” Loud cheers and lots of hand clapping could be heard in the background. “How’s it going?” she shrieked.

  “OK,” Ollie yelled back. “Sounds like quite a party you’ve got going there.”

  “Oh, yeah, it is. Well, actually, I’ve just got a few friends round. We’re having a few drinks here, then going on to the opening of a new nightclub in the centre of Milan. It should be a blast.”

  “Cool. You’re all right then?”

  “Sorry? Hang on, Ol. I can’t hear a thing. I’m just walking through to the bedroom.” The din in the background diminished a little. “That’s better, I can hear you now. What did you say?”

  “I asked you if you were OK,” repeated Ollie.

  “OK? Sure I am, Ol. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “No reason. Only you sounded a bit down the other day when you rang home…”

  “Huh? Did I?” Natasha replied. “Oh, hang on, I remember, I was just having a moan. You know, throwing my toys out of my pram, that sort of thing. Everything’s great. Really.”

  “Good, fine,” said Ollie, unconvinced by what he was hearing.

  “Tonight’s going to be so cool, Ol,” she rattled on. “At this party I told you about later on, there’s this guy my boss wants me to meet. Apparently, he’s a lovely guy, and he’s seen my picture and he really likes me. He might want to use me for a massive worldwide advertising campaign. Isn’t that fantastic?”

  “Uh, yeah, nice one,” Ollie nodded. “So it’s all going well then?”

  “‘Course it is. How about you? How’s dull old Winstead and the dreary Swan?” she giggled.

  Ollie frowned. A couple of days ago Natasha had been moaning on about how much she missed home. Why the sudden change of heart? He ignored the barb, but still felt bewildered and a little unnerved by his sister’s erratic behaviour.

  “Nothing major to report, Mum and Dad are same as usual. I just wanted to call you up because you sounded so down the other day. I tried your mobile yesterday and the day before but it wasn’t switched on. Your booker told me you were OK though.”

  “You rang the agency?“ Natasha’s voice was strained now, irritated even. “What the hell did you do that for?”

  “Because I was worried,” Ollie emphasised. “And I asked them to tell you I’d called, which I assume they didn’t bother to do.”

  “No one’s said anything about you calling and my mobile had a flat battery. Honest, Ol,” she added more gently, “you don’t need to check up on me. I’m not a little kid any more. It’s very sweet of you to be concerned but I’m fine.”

  Well, that’s put me in my place, thought Ollie, though he was still full of nagging doubts about the situation.

  “OK, well, I’ll leave you to it then. Have a good time at your party.”

  “Sure I will, Ol. And listen, I’ll call you soon, OK?’

  “Yeah, you take care.”

  “Ditto.”

  The line went dead and, once again, Ollie came away from a conversation with his sister feeling confused and worried.

  CHAPTER 11

  A NEW LOW

  “Hello…?”

  No one spoke.

  “Hello…?” repeated OIlie.

  Still silence, though OIlie could sense that there was someone at the end of the line. Maybe someone was messing around.

  “Is that you, Matt?” he asked, thinking his friend was trying to pull some kind of unfunny joke.

  Then it came. A choking little sob. Short, painful gasps of breath interspersed with the odd, indistinguishable word OIlie could make no sense of. It was his sister. It had to be.

  “Tasha? Tash - what is it?” OIlie demanded. “What’s happened? Where are you?”

  “Oh… OIlie,” she finally managed to wail, between sniffs. “I’m s-s-sooo glad you’re there.” She paused to take in a big breath of air. “I was s-s-s-o scared that you might n-n-not answer.”

  “What is it? What’s wrong?” OIlie gripped the phone anxiously, his knuckles white with tension.

  “This job… everything… is just awful… you wouldn’t believe…” Her voice trailed off into another sob as OIlie tried to decipher what his sister was trying to say.

  “What are you talking about, Tash?” he demanded. “You’re not making much sense.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. It’s all such a rotten mess. There are things that are going on here that I don’t agree with. And… oh, I’m s-s-o miserable, OIlie, I’ve never been so unhappy in all my l-l-life.”

  OIlie slumped into the chair in front of him, the thoughts in his mind whizzing around so quickly he could hardly keep pace with them. He was frightened. Frightened for Natasha, for what she might say or do, and frightened for himself. He wanted to be able to help her, but he didn’t know how.

  “Natasha, you’re really scaring me. What things? What is it you don’t agree with?”

  “Oh… everything. I… I’m not sure I can handle it out here any more, y’know?”

  Ollie didn’t have a clue what she was going on about. All he could do was trust his instincts which were on full alert right at that moment. “Look, Tash, if something’s bothering you, or if you’re unhappy out there, then walk away. Come home. Please.”

  “I wish it was that simple, I really do.”

  “Tash, it is. No amount of money, no job is worth anything if it’s making you feel like this.”

  “Ol, you don’t understand. This is my career we’re talking about. If I mess up out here, I’ll never work again.”

  Ollie snorted in disdain. “Big deal. Modelling’s not the only thing you can do, Tash. And you can’t tell me it’s more important than being happy, ‘cause I don’t believe you.”

  “You’re right. I wish I was as strong-minded as you. You were always tougher than me on the inside, where it matters. I wish I had the guts to go through with it, tell them to stuff it, say I won’t do it. But I’m not sure that I can.”

  “Natasha, if this is about your principles, then you’ve got to stick to them,” persisted Ollie. “If they’re asking you to do something you don’t agree with the
n tell them to go to hell. Come home, I’ll meet you at the airport, I promise. Just give me a time and I’ll be there.”

  He was aware that his sister had begun crying again. “I’m s-s-so lucky to have you,” she wailed. “I don’t know how I’d cope if I didn’t know you and Mum and Dad were there for me. I miss you all so much.”

  “We miss you too, Tash. Why don’t you just come home…”

  “I’ll, uh, think about it. I have to go now. There’s a cab due in ten minutes to take me to a shoot. You should see the state of my face. They’ll fire me on sight if I turn up with these puffy eyes.”

  “Good,” said Ollie defiantly. “Then you’d have to come home.”

  “Aw, Ol, you’re sweet. You’ve made me feel better already. I’ll talk to you soon, OK?”

  “I’ll call you tomorrow. Just to see how you are.”

  “All right. Not too early though. I’m supposed to be going to a party tonight, so I won’t be up before lunchtime.”

  “How the other half lives,” Ollie tried to joke before hanging up and heading off to work. It was going to be hard trying to keep thoughts of Natasha out of his mind, but he had to get on with the day.

  “What time’s your flight, Nick?”

  Ollie pulled a catering-size pot of cream out of the fridge and began pouring it on to three servings of apple pie. Looking at his watch, Nick threw a tea towel on to the side and muttered, “In under four hours. I’d better get a move on.”

  “You wouldn’t mind taking these out to Cat and the others, would you? I’ve got a load of orders on. I’m up to my eyes in it.”

  Nick took a tray from under one of the units and did as he was asked, hurrying through to the café which was heaving with Wednesday lunchtime customers.

  “Here he is then,” hollered Matt as Nick came towards them. “The jet-setting Nick Stanton! Are you off now, mate?”

  Laughing, Nick placed the order down on the table and went off to fetch some spoons and forks. “I will be when Ollie’s finished giving me orders,” he joked, giving him a little wave through the doorway.