by Ari Goelman
“Um, Lauren,” Gabriella said. “If you go over there all angry, it’s just going to make them believe him more.”
“I don’t care,” I said. “I care about breaking his nose.” As I said the words, though, I realized I did care what people thought. I didn’t want anyone thinking I’d let Jimmy Porten touch me. I didn’t want anyone thinking that I’d let an idiot like him take advantage of me.
“We’ll tell people what really happened,” Riley said. “Or you could go along with his story and we could get him expelled. Maybe even arrested. You can’t have sex with someone with a mental disability.”
“I don’t have a mental disability.”
Riley blushed a little. “I know you’re getting better. I just meant as far as the school goes. You could get him in big trouble.”
I knew Riley and Gabriella were trying to help me, but I wasn’t—I couldn’t—let Jimmy just sit at his lunch table, smirking, talking trash about me. I stalked over to his table, taking deep breaths and trying not to look as furious as I felt. “Hey, Jimmy!” I said, putting as much of my old perkiness into my voice as possible.
“Oh. Hi Lauren.” Jimmy half turned and smiled like he was just noticing me. I felt a tiny bit better when I saw how nervous he was. His eyes were noticeably wider than usual and he was breathing fast, too.
“So,” I said. “What have you been telling people happened between us yesterday?”
Jimmy hesitated and he flushed a little. He kept smiling, though. “Nothing,” he said. “I just told them that your—um—condition is much better and we had a nice walk home yesterday.”
His friends laughed and one of them, Robert Wu, muttered something about how it sounded like “a real nice walk.” Another of his friends, Sean Wilton, was staring at my chest like it was a billboard.
“Great. So … you’re not telling them that I had sex with you, right?” I said.
Sean Wilton burst out with a surprised laugh, then covered his mouth like he was coughing.
“Of course not,” Jimmy said. “What happened between us is private.”
The whole table of guys was smiling. And I realized that Gabriella and Riley had been right. It was a mistake to walk over here. Nothing I said was going to convince any of these guys—they all wanted to believe Jimmy.
“Oh, shoot. I had no idea it was private,” someone behind me said. I hadn’t noticed the new kid—Sasha—sitting at the next table over. He swiveled around, straddling his chair and looking up at Jimmy. He took a long sip of his soda before talking. “Because I figured it was like a public performance when I saw you try to grope Lauren and she shoved you into the dirt.”
“I didn’t try to grope—Lauren didn’t shove me—” Jimmy narrowed his eyes. “Whatever. You weren’t there. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Sasha nodded thoughtfully. “I guess I was a little way off. I might have misunderstood. Were you deliberately kissing the ground? And maybe … was Lauren just giving you an encouraging pat on your back as you prepared yourself to make out with the”—he chuckled a little—“dirt?”
Jimmy got out of his chair and grabbed Sasha by the front of his shirt. “You weren’t there, asswipe. You don’t have any idea what happened.”
Sasha didn’t resist, letting Jimmy pull him off the chair where he’d been sitting. He held up his hands like he was surrendering. “Hey. I’m not judging. I’m sure you’re a kind and”—he started laughing again and he couldn’t quite finish his sentence—“a gentle … a kind and gentle … lover … of the dirt.”
By the time he finished, all of Jimmy’s friends were laughing, too. Jimmy was beet red. He let go of Sasha’s shirt, and Sasha sat heavily on the cafeteria’s tile floor, still laughing.
“What’s going on here, kids?” My special aide, Ms. Gale, had belatedly realized something was happening and roused herself from chatting with the other teachers on lunch duty. Behind her I saw Evelyn walking toward us, flanked as usual by Peter and Claudia. I hadn’t noticed Riley and Gabriella walking over, but they were standing around me, too.
Jimmy held up his hands. “Nothing,” he said. “We were just joking around.”
“Yeah.” Sasha climbed to his feet, still smiling. “Jimmy was being really funny. I mean, this guy takes loving the earth to a whole new level.”
Jimmy glowered at him, but Sasha just grinned. He nodded to me, or maybe to Riley, who was standing just behind me, and turned back to his lunch.
Evelyn pulled me away from the little crowd that had gathered. “What was all that about?” she said.
“Jimmy was telling some stories about me. Not true stories.”
“Like what?”
I shifted a little uncomfortably. “About him having sex with me.”
Evelyn spun toward Jimmy. “What? I’m going to break his—”
Before she could take a step, I grabbed her arm. To my surprise, Peter grabbed her other arm.
“Don’t make trouble,” he said. “The administration is really nervous these days and I’m sure they have their eyes on you.”
Peter’s face was even paler than when we’d walked home on Monday. His eyes were still bloodshot, like he hadn’t slept for days.
“It’s fine,” I said. “It’s done. No one believes him now anyway.”
Evelyn glanced back at Jimmy. He was staring at the table, hunched over his lunch.
“It’s fine?” Evelyn repeated.
“Yeah,” I said. “I heard he was lying about me and—”
“Wait.” Evelyn’s forehead wrinkled. “Why would he even be telling stories about you? Everyone knows you’re not allowed out by yourself.”
“I walked home alone yesterday, and I happened to see Jimmy—”
“You walked home alone? Lauren, that’s not safe for you.”
I glanced around to make sure none of my friends were in earshot. “I didn’t want a ride from Riley and…” I looked at Peter. “I figured you had enough on your mind.”
Evelyn flushed a little. “You can always walk home with me.”
“She’s better off walking home by herself,” Claudia said to Evelyn. “As long as you’re still walking home with Peter, better she keeps her distance.”
“That’s not why you walked home by yourself, is it?” Evelyn asked me.
I shook my head.
“It doesn’t make it not true,” Claudia said, not looking at Peter. “Being seen with Peter outside of school is just stupid.”
“He didn’t do anything wrong,” Evelyn hissed. “And it’s not illegal to hang out with someone who was detained and released.”
Claudia sighed. “I don’t like it any better than you, Ev.”
“You sure seem to,” Peter said.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Claudia snapped, finally turning to look at Peter. “Aren’t I sympathetic enough that you got detained for posting Newman’s lectures on your webfeed? How could you be so stupid?”
I started easing away, figuring they had forgotten about me.
“Lauren,” Evelyn said sharply. “I’ll meet you at the back entrance at 3:20.” She spun and walked away, Peter and Claudia trailing after her like bickering goslings after the mother goose.
“What if I don’t want to walk home with you?” I muttered, but not loud enough for Evelyn to hear.
The truth is, when I walked out the back exit this afternoon, it was nice to find Evelyn waiting for me. She was standing by herself, to one side of the main flow of students, frowning and staring at the soggy leaves that had collected in the gutter at the edge of the parking lot.
“It’s a beautiful day,” I said. I stuffed my jacket into my backpack, enjoying the feel of the sunshine on my bare arms.
“Yeah.” She started walking, and I followed.
“Peter’s not coming?”
“No.” She frowned and looked so sad, I almost cried. “It’s not a good idea right now. Not with Dad’s contract with the Department up for review, and with the Emergency Act pretty surely
going to be reauthorized what with the thing in China and…” Evelyn shook her head as she remembered who she was talking to. “Anyway. He’s not coming.”
We walked down the hill, over the little bridge behind the middle school. A dog barked in the distance. “What thing in China?” I asked.
Evelyn gave me a long look. “You heard about that?”
“You just mentioned it.”
“Shoot. I didn’t mean to … It’s nothing for you to worry about.”
“What happened?”
Evelyn thought for a few seconds.
“Ev, if you don’t tell me, I’ll just look it up when we get home.”
“It’s not that. I don’t know how to explain it to you.”
“You don’t have to dumb it down—” I said.
“I didn’t mean dumb it down—”
“And I won’t say anything inappropriate where anyone else can hear. Just tell me.”
She looked at me thoughtfully. “Okay. Yesterday, the premier of China got caught in a brothel and said all sorts of things to the press about how corrupt everyone in his government is, along with details about payoffs and payouts and everything. So now he’s been deposed and put in jail and there’s this big conflict in the Chinese government about who gets to take over.”
“What does that have to do with Dad’s job?”
She shook her head. “Some aide to the premier claimed the U.S. drugged his boss. You know, to sow dissent, so the Chinese government would be too distracted to mess with U.S. interests. There’s been a lot of talk lately about how China is outpacing the U.S. in its foreign influence, so this whole thing is pretty much a dream come true for the U.S.
“The Department is denying having anything to do with it, of course, but only in the kind of way that makes you think this was all them. It’s made a bunch of congresspeople say they’re definitely going to vote to extend the Emergency Act, which, you know, would mean the Department would go on being the Department. Which means Dad will still be bidding on contracts for them for the foreseeable future.
“Besides … you know Dad. He gets scared of his own shadow when he’s between contracts.”
I hadn’t known that at all, but I resolved to pay more attention to that kind of stuff now that my brain is working right. “The funny thing,” Evelyn said, “is that the whole thing in China probably had nothing to do with the Department. Probably the premier of China just got caught in a brothel and figured if he was going down he might as well take a few of his cronies with him.” Evelyn glanced behind us and frowned. “Can you walk faster?”
I followed Evelyn’s gaze and saw Sasha walking up the hill after us. I waved at him. “Why?” I said. “I know that guy. He’s really nice.”
“I know him, too,” Evelyn said. She grabbed my wrist and pulled me after her. “He works for the Department. Look at those glasses: they’re obviously for recording.”
“Riley and Gabriella said that was for a TV show.”
“As if,” Evelyn said. “A single-camera reality show? That dude works for the Department.”
“So does Dad,” I said, feeling defensive. I liked Sasha. Not just because he was good-looking, either. “So do half the grownups we know.”
Evelyn looked at me pityingly. It felt very familiar, suddenly. Evelyn looking at me pityingly and explaining something. The story of my life until a few weeks ago. “Lauren,” she said. “Dad does policy work for the Department. This guy is an informant.”
I pulled my hand from her grip and turned to take a good look at Sasha striding after us.
Evelyn shook her head with disgust. “Look at him, with the video console right out where anyone can see it. He’s a professional informant for the Department and he’s not even trying to hide it.”
“Why would he hide it? That’s why the Department sent an informant to our school. They want us to know. Knowing there’s an informant around makes people less likely to say stuff they’re not supposed to. Just like having a police car on the side of the road makes people stop speeding. Which is the whole point, right?”
Evelyn thought about it. “Who told you that?”
“No one. It’s obvious. They send one agent to the school and everyone’s too scared to do … whatever it is they’re worried we’re going to do. Much cheaper than arresting a bunch of people.”8
Evelyn gave me another long look. “And you figured that out yourself?”
“I guess the treatment’s working. Anyway—” I glanced behind us. Sasha had long legs and he was catching up to us without seeming to hurry. “I don’t care if he works for the Department. I like him. He made Jimmy look like an idiot for lying about me.”
“Lauren,” Evelyn said. “We both know that no one is a bigger supporter of the Department than me,9 but it’s not safe for you to hang around him. Just in case you say something that could be taken the wrong way.”
Another few seconds and Sasha was right behind us.
Evelyn stopped walking, obviously waiting for him to pass us. Instead, he stopped, too. “Hey Lauren,” he said.
“Hey.” I returned his smile.
“I’m Sasha.” He held out his hand to Evelyn.
Evelyn looked at his hand without taking it. “I know who you are.”
He shrugged and put his hand back in his pocket.
“She thinks you work for the Department,” I said.
“Lauren!”
“It’s okay,” Sasha told me. He told Evelyn, “Obviously you’re right.”
“You’re not even going to deny it?” Evelyn said.
“Definitely not. If I lied, you might get angry enough to say something stupid about the Department in front of my video feed, which might eventually get watched by someone who cares about that kind of thing. I don’t want you getting in trouble. And anyway, what’s the point of denying it? Why else would I be wearing these glasses?” He touched the recording apparatus next to his right lens, and the briefest hint of anger flickered across his face, vanishing so fast I wasn’t positive I had seen it.
He took a deep breath, his face a picture of pained sincerity. “Listen. I know the glasses are creepy. The thought of some Department bureaucrat watching you walk home … I get it. But I know those bureaucrats and they’re just people. They’re doing what they think is right to protect their country. They’re not monsters. No one wants you to get in trouble just because your politics are a little wrongheaded.”
“My politics are wrongheaded?” Evelyn flushed, outraged.
“No offense.”
“I’m pretty sure he’s telling the truth,” I put in before Evelyn could respond. “About not wanting to get you in trouble, I mean.”
“How would you know?” Sasha said.
Evelyn opened her mouth and quickly closed it, obviously wondering the same thing but not wanting to agree with Sasha.
“Not sure,” I said. “I’m still figuring out this whole ‘working brain’ thing.”
“Why don’t you think about it while we walk?” Evelyn said. She took my arm again. “Bye-bye,” she told Sasha.
“Um. You go on,” I said. “I want to talk to Sasha.”
“I’m not leaving you alone with him.”
“I’ll be okay,” I said. “Please. I’ll be there in a second. I just want to ask him something private.”
Evelyn stood there for a few moments.
“Please,” I said again. “Do you trust me?”
This is a reference to the old Disney version of Aladdin.10 It used to be a kind of joke between Ev and me, back when I trusted everyone. Funny how long ago that seems now, even though it’s only been, what? Not quite two months since the treatment. Just about a month since I’ve been back at home.
“Of course I trust you,” Evelyn said.
“Then go. I’ll see you at home.” I tugged my arm free and gave Evelyn a gentle nudge to start her going. I waited for a few minutes as she walked away.
Sasha whistled tunelessly, hands in his pockets. “Nice day,”
he said.
“Yep,” I responded. I wasn’t sure if Evelyn was out of earshot yet.
Below us, the wooded parks around the schools were a blaze of autumn colors in the sun. There was a distant smudge of gray where the smoke rose from the District, but around us it was all sun and blue skies and brightly colored leaves.
“You know,” Sasha said, once Evelyn was out of earshot, “your sister completely underestimates you.”
“Yeah, well. I’ve changed pretty quickly.” Evelyn turned to look at us, and I waved at her. “Smile,” I said quietly to Sasha. “Pretend I just told you Riley thinks you’re cute.”
Sasha didn’t hesitate. He gave me a wide smile and laughed, just the right hint of pleased incredulity in his voice.
Evelyn looked confused, but she kept walking. I was almost positive she was already out of earshot, but I still counted to twenty before speaking, just to be sure.
I looked intently at Sasha. “Why are you following me?”
“What? I’m not…” Sasha stopped himself, no longer smiling. He catches on quick, Sasha. He’d been about to lie, but then, guessing that I would know if he lied, he settled for evading the question. “It’s just that I live near your house.”
“You’re following me. You obviously saw exactly what happened between me and Jimmy yesterday. You couldn’t have seen that without following us into the woods.”
Like I said, he’s fast. It took him a split second to come up with an explanation. “Well, sure, I followed you into the woods. I happened to be walking home behind you yesterday, and when I saw you walk into the trees with Jimmy, I trailed along. I didn’t want him to … you know … take advantage.” He hesitated. “When I saw you didn’t need help, I came out the other side of the trees and made it look like I just happened upon you. I thought you might be embarrassed otherwise.”
“Sure,” I said. “Which brings me back to my original question—why are you following me?”
Sasha’s lips twitched, like he was fighting a smile. Like I said yesterday, he has very attractive lips. For lots of girls, his half smile would be just about as distracting as he thinks it is. I was not distracted. I waited.
“You heard your sister,” he finally said. “It’s my job to follow people.”
