And Noel, it appeared, had also wondered whether she would want to hear from him, for he began:
I know you’ve always said you didn’t want to get mixed up in the affairs of my family, and heaven knows, I don’t blame you for that! But Sue says it’s only fair that since you did so much for us, we should tell you our news.
We’re married—gorgeously, happily married as securely as church and state can do the job! And though I didn’t exactly sling Sue over my shoulder and carry her off, all the same that marriage license came in very handy.
I’m not going into the exact details of what happened because they’re too awful—and also, perhaps, because I’ve learned something from my father in the way of discretion and keeping the family peace. It’s enough to tell you that Ruth trumped up some excuse to scare Sue out of the house at a moment’s notice, but gave Father an explanation that made it appear that Sue had left Moneyhill on her own initiative. Whether the old man believed her or not, I don’t know and I don’t want to. Better let sleeping dogs lie, and it doesn’t really matter now because the important thing is that the two of them, Father and Ruth, came to our wedding. Ruth even kissed the bride, poor lamb! Sue, I mean, of course. So we’re a happy and united family.
And I will say for Ruth—she is changed, these days. You know, I always had an uncomfortable feeling that she rather looked down on Father. Saw herself as a sort of superior being and whatnot. It was one of the things that made me dislike her so. Well, that’s gone now. There’s no two ways about it, she looks up to him as she never did before, and one gets the impression that she’s genuinely grateful to him.
And that, I must admit, baffles me, because, believe it or not, the old man has sold out to Tom Fleming, and on terms that put a full stop to Ruth’s business career. She spends all her time now with Father, and they’re planning a world tour together as soon as it’s feasible. Well, good luck to them, especially Father!
Just one more bit of news. There’s a partnership waiting for me with Tom some time in the future—if I make the grade. Well, I shall do my damnedest to do just that. The only thing is, much as I like Tom and enjoy working for him, I’d rather it had been with Father. I said as much to him, and I think it pleased him, but though he admitted he had looked forward to us working together, he said it in a way that means he has accepted the reason for his retirement—whether for reasons of health, the official reason, or for any other reason. And somehow, you can’t pity Father. He’s too big.
Well, that’s the lot. Sue sends her love, and if you’ve no objection, so do I. You’re a good sort, Kit Cavendish, and I hope that one of these days you’ll be as happy as Sue and I are. No, that’s impossible. Nobody could be. But you know what I mean.
All the best,
Noel Baylis.
Kit folded the letter with hands that shook a little, and brooded over what she had read.
So, the Baylis family had solved its problems after all, thanks mainly to Mr. Baylis’s clear-sighted courage, and in a lesser degree, to Noel’s resolute handling of his and Sue’s problems. And Ruth had got off scot-free.
On the face of it, it seemed unfair, and Kit’s heart ached for Mr. Baylis, who would now never have the joy of working with his boy. That was Ruth’s doing, and certainly she had also done her best to prevent Sue and Noel finding happiness together. But all that was in the past, forgiven and forgotten. Of course, it was better for them all the way, as Noel had said, and it was possible, in his case, because he had never believed a word of the story Ruth had trumped up against Sue, and so she had been powerless to hurt them.
But where Kit herself was concerned, it was different. The harm done by the malicious lie Ruth had circulated about her and Noel still lingered, in spite of the fact that Noel’s marriage to Sue must have proved just how absurd it was. But the proof had come too late. At the time, Jason had believed it. That was what really mattered.
But why, why had Jason been so ready to believe evil of her? Surely he must know that the sort of behavior with which Mrs. Baylis had discredited her was not in keeping with everything he knew about her? And yet he had believed it.
It was almost as if his mind was prepared to accept such a story. As if, in the past, something had happened that gave credence to it...
A shadow fell across her, and Kit, who had been so deep in thought that she had been oblivious to her surroundings, realized with a start that she was no longer alone.
A man stood beside her, his tall head bent as he gazed down at her. It was Jason.
CHAPTER TWELVE
For a moment silence hung between them like a tangible barrier, but there must have been a question in Kit’s eyes, for just as if she had spoken Jason said sternly, “But I told you, Kit, that never again would I let you go out of my life without making a fight of it! I’d have been here sooner, but I couldn’t get away, and this had to be face to face!”
He put out his hands and gripped her shoulders.
“And now,” he went on softly, almost menacingly, it seemed to her, “you’ll tell me why you’ve thrown me over this time!”
Kit stared at him blankly, and Jason’s grip tightened.
“Go on,” he insisted. “We’re going to get to the bottom of this if it takes the rest of our lives! If it amuses you to blow hot one moment and cold the next, say so, and at least I’ll know where I am! Well?”
“But I haven't ... I never did...” Kit stammered indignantly. “It’s been you, not me, who has kept on changing his mind. You know it has!”
“I know nothing of the sort,” Jason denied flatly. “I love you, I always have, and I always will, though I tried hard enough all these years to convince myself that I’d got you out of my system.”
Kit stood spellbound. This was the moment she had longed for ever since she had known Jason, yet now that it had come there was a dreamlike quality about it. Only in her dreams had she ever expected to hear Jason tell her that he loved her.
“Kit!”
The one word was imperative, demanding. Kit stirred from her dream. This was really happening, and yet how could it be true?
“But you said ... you wrote...” she began incoherently. “And you believed Mrs. Baylis.”
Jason ignored her last remark.
“What did I write?”
“That when two people had been ... as much to one another as we had been, it was better, if a change of feeling came, to make a clean break, and that you didn’t want to see me any more.” Kit turned her face away, but Jason put a hand under her chin and relentlessly forced her to look at him.
“I see you remember it as well as I do,” he said grimly. “And you replied, very briefly, that you quite agreed with me!”
“Of course I did,” Kit said indignantly. “What else could I say? Any girl with any pride—”
“Ah!” Jason said softly. “Now we’re getting somewhere! You call it pride—you’re more honest than I was! I persuaded myself that no man with any self-respect could tolerate sharing a woman with another man!”
“But ... but...” Kit stammered, wide-eyed. “There wasn’t!”
“I believed I had proof there was. That you, my girl friend, had been playing fast and loose with me and that the other fellow had cut me out. When I wrote that letter, I was bitter, savagely angry. I had no intention of waiting for you to send me packing. I signed off myself, making it clear, as I thought, that I had found you out.”
Kit stared. For so long she had believed that Jason had tired of her that it was almost impossible to take in the significance of what he was saying. All these years he had blamed her as she had blamed him for their parting. But how could that be?
“But why, Jason, why?” Kit wailed. “There was nothing to find out. Truly there wasn’t.”
“I know that ... now.” There was a world of self-reproach in the words. “But at the time—you see, it wasn’t just what Wrinch told me. It was the evidence of my own eyes.”
“Victor?” Kit exclaimed. “But what
had he to do with it? You and he had never met in those days.”
“Oh yes, we had,” Jason said grimly. “He saw to that!”
Kit held her breath. This was a possibility that had never for a moment occurred to her. But now, remembering that there had been something else that Victor had wanted to tell her about that day at the station, she was suddenly sure that it must have been something that concerned Jason and herself.
“Tell me,” she begged, and Jason needed no urging.
“You remember that little cafe just around the corner from the hospital where we used to go quite a lot?”
“I remember,” Kit said softly. The hours they had snatched together in that very ordinary little cafe had been some of the happiest they had ever known.
“One evening, the same evening I wrote that letter to you, I went there on my own. You had told me you couldn’t get off—”
“No,” Kit contradicted quickly, “I said I couldn’t go out with you that evening.”
“That’s right, so you did,” Jason agreed. “But I took it to mean that you would be on duty. So I had my meal alone. After a while, a chap came in and sat at the same table, just by chance, I thought. He began to talk—letting off steam about a girl who was a nurse at St. Magnus’s. He said he’d been in love with her for years but she hadn’t felt that way about him. But now she’d asked him to take her out, and he was convinced that it meant she’d changed her mind, because she’d never done that before.” Jason paused, and Kit nodded.
“If the man was Victor, then the girl was me,” she said steadily. “And I had asked him to take me out. But not because I’d changed my mind. Actually, I’d refused over and over again to go out with him, and I’d stopped answering his letters. I had to because, knowing how he felt, I didn’t want to do anything that might encourage him to think I might ever care for him. But I’d never said anything about you to him because, well, we weren’t exactly engaged, were we? Then I came to the conclusion that the only way I would ever be able to convince him was to tell him face to face that there was someone else. So I asked him to take me out. But—” her voice broke “—how could you have thought I’d ever treat you like that!”
“I didn’t believe it,” Jason said quietly. “Even though he referred to you by name. I told myself that there were probably other girls in the hospital named Kit. But you see that wasn’t all. Wrinch brought you back to the hospital, didn’t he?”
“Yes,” Kit admitted. “I didn’t want him to, but when he insisted—well, it seemed such a little thing to give in about when I’d had to be so brutal. After all, he was an old friend. All the same, I wished I hadn’t let him because just as we were saying goodbye he caught me in his arms and kissed me.”
“I know. That was what convinced me,” Jason said grimly. “There seemed no room for misunderstanding, especially when you wrote so coolly, as if you were glad to get rid of me.”
There was a brief silence.
“But you believed Mrs. Baylis ... about Noel and me,” Kit said painfully.
“Because, on the face of it, it lined up with what I had thought of you years ago?” Jason shook his head. “No, my dear, it had just the reverse effect. If for no other reason, because she said it, I didn’t believe it. And that made me all the more convinced that I’d made a mistake before. But I was truly terrified on your account, Kit. Never before in all my life have I met a completely ruthless person, and I was convinced that you were in very real danger. That damned woman had her own reasons for wanting you out of the house, and she didn’t care to what lengths she went to achieve it. And there was absolutely nothing I could do about it except see that you did get out before worse befell you. So I decided that whether Baylis needed you or not, I was going to agree to you leaving.”
“Jason!” Kit’s horrified exclamation made him smile wryly.
“I know! What about my professional integrity? Well, fortunately for me, that question didn’t arise. When I made my final examination, I was satisfied that he really could do without you. I swear that’s true, Kit.”
“I’m glad!” Kit said earnestly.
“We seem to have a gift for misunderstanding each other, don’t we?” Jason said wryly. “I wonder why?”
“Perhaps because everything about each of us matters so much to the other,” Kit suggested hesitantly.
“Yes,” Jason agreed. “It isn’t difficult to shrug one’s shoulders if people who aren’t important in one’s life don’t come up to standard. But when they are...” He drew a deep breath. “Kit, can you ever forgive me for doubting you?”
“How can I not when I need your forgiveness for the same thing?” Kit said softly.
“Then, thank God, that’s all finished,” Jason said reverently. “But forgiveness—that’s not all I want from you Kit. I want more—so much more.”
There was an unmistakable urgency in his tone, but there was something more—humility. Jason, who had always seemed so sure of himself, was pleading for what he knew he could not demand, something that could have no value unless it was given willingly, generously. He was completely at her mercy and he could not hide it.
His vulnerability pierced her to the heart. It blotted out the past with all its unhappiness and misunderstanding as if it had never been. Jason truly wanted her love, needed it. Tenderness and passion united in her, demanding that she should give him happiness and reassurance as completely and unreservedly as he had given it to her.
“Oh, Jason, my darling!” she whispered, turning a face aflame with love up to his.
His arms closed around her and he kissed her with a demanding tenderness that told her as no words could how much she was to him. And Kit’s complete surrender to the mastery of his lips told him just as unmistakably that she had given her heart fearlessly into his keeping for all time.
The past was a closed book, and even the future, wonderful though it would be, did not concern them. The exquisite present was all that mattered.
It was not until the following day that Kit gave Jason Noel’s letter to read. That afternoon Jason would have to head back to Minsterbury, but the morning was theirs, and Jason announced that they were going to have a picnic.
“I told you, that day you shared your lunch with me on Flack Hill, that one day we’d have a proper outing together, and I’d provide the lunch,” he reminded her. “This is it!”
So except for a thermos of coffee that Mrs. Cavendish was allowed to provide, he insisted on doing his own shopping, unaided even by Kit. From shop to shop he went, bringing back bags and bundles to his car until Kit protested that it was more than enough, they would never be able to eat half of it. But Jason wouldn’t listen.
It was a happy, crazy meal. In his concentration on food Jason had completely forgotten to provide a means for eating it, and all they had in the way of cutlery was his penknife. But what did it matter? There was no one to watch, and there were convenient little pools in the rocks that could be used as fingerbowls. And as each moment passed it seemed to Kit that Jason became younger and more carefree than she had ever known him before. She sighed with pure contentment, and when Jason wanted to know what that was for, and she had explained, he nodded.
“You’re right. That’s the way I do feel.” He settled himself more comfortably against a convenient rock. “Utterly content and at peace with the world. In fact—” he hesitated as if reluctant to cast a shadow over their happiness “—there’s only one thing worrying me.”
“Yes?” Kit slipped her hand confidently into his and felt it held close.
“Kit, you do realize, don’t you, that we shall have to live in Minsterbury?” he asked anxiously. “And that’s almost sure to mean that we can’t entirely avoid the Baylis family.”
“Where Sue and Noel are concerned, I don’t want to,” Kit said quickly. “They’re married, you know.”
“Are they, indeed? Well, good luck to them! But the older pair?” And that was when, without comment, Kit gave him Noel’s letter. He read
it in silence, although his changing expression spoke volumes to Kit’s watchful eyes. When he handed the letter back he shrugged and remarked thoughtfully, “Well, I suppose that’s the best way for it to have ended, but that woman’s had more luck than she deserves. I wonder just how much the old man really knows? Not everything, I imagine, but enough.” He shook his head. “And yet Noel is right. His father is too big a man to pity.”
“And I think Noel is going to grow more and more like his father,” Kit said softly. “He was terribly unsure of himself until recently, but now that he has Sue to look after, he’s grown up.”
“Yes, I think they have a pretty good chance of happiness, now that Mrs. Baylis’s teeth have been drawn,” Jason agreed. “But what about old Baylis? Noel speaks of his stepmother as having changed and of being grateful. But will that last?”
“I think so,” Kit pondered. “You see, Jason, although she realized that he must know at least a lot of what she did, I don’t think Mr. Baylis has ever made her admit it. Perhaps he wouldn’t let her admit it. That way, they can go on together as they never could have, if he hadn’t been so wise, and so generous.”
“You mean he’s made it clear he’s forgiven and forgotten without ever having acknowledged that there was anything to forgive?” Jason mused. “Yes, you could be right. Certainly she’s a woman who would hate to lose face!”
“Oh, but surely there’s more to it than that,” Kit urged. “She had her chance of running the firm, and she didn’t make a success of it because she antagonized everybody she came in touch with. She must know that now. And nobody, however hard they are, is really indifferent to wholesale dislike. I think, for the first time in her life, she’s learned the value of loyalty and love, and that’s why she’s grateful.”
Kit Cavendish-Private Nurse Page 14
