by Tia Lewis
If anybody had told me the previous summer that I’d one day be looking forward to starting a new semester, I’d have told them they had the wrong girl. I’d changed. Even my parents had noticed it over the break. I had more confidence. I didn’t hide behind my computer all day long. I’d even invited over a couple of friends who also lived in the city, and my parents had been amazed when I’d introduced them. I wasn’t sneaking around anymore. I wasn’t making up people who didn’t exist. It was a load off my mind, really, being honest. Not having to keep track of the stories I was telling in case I messed up and gave away my lies. I didn’t realize how exhausting it was to lie until I started telling the truth.
I was no longer that naïve girl who looked for love in all the wrong places. I was a Harvard undergrad studying computer engineering with a bright future ahead of me, and I was damn proud of that. The straight-A’s I’d earned in my first semester were just the icing on the cake as far as my parents were concerned. My grades made my parents happy, and I have to admit it made me happy, too.
My stomach began to grumble, and I realized I hadn’t eaten since breakfast. I threw on my shoes and pulled my door open, paralyzed by the handsome man standing in front of me. He was vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t quite place his chiseled jawline and a three-piece suit.
"Can I help you?"
"Sophie Hanson?"
"Yes?"
"It's me."
My eyes narrowed as I pored over his face. It was his eyes that tipped me off. The same eyes I had said goodbye to all those years before. "Bradley Olsen?"
He nodded.
"You found me."
"I said I would."
“How? After all these years…”
“It doesn’t matter,” he kissed me on the lips. “Let’s get back to where we left off, okay?”
I nodded in complete shock. Every feeling I thought I'd locked away came springing back to the forefront of my heart. My best friend, Bradley came back for me like he said he would, and I didn’t deserve it—I didn’t deserve him.
Chapter 27
4 Months Later
I heard a knock at the door, and my heart skipped a beat as I went to answer it. I’d texted Bradley when I first arrived to let him know I was back from winter break. It had been an entire month since we’d been together.
And he was eager—very eager. No sooner was the door open than I was in my best friend turned boyfriend’s arms.
“Hold on,” I giggled, closing the door behind us. “You want the whole floor to see you mauling me half to death?”
Bradley laughed. “Okay, okay. Sorry. You know I can’t keep my hands off of you. I haven’t seen you in almost a month. What do you expect?”
“For me to be able to close the door, you animal,” I laughed as we sat on the bed together, our backs to the wall. It felt so right when Bradley had his arms around me, I could’ve stayed there all day. His chest was just the perfect pillow for my head, too. And his firm muscles underneath weren't so bad, either.
“How was your drive?” he asked, stroking my hair. I felt his lips against the top of my head, and I smiled.
“Tons of traffic,” I rolled my eyes. “All the students were rushing back for spring semester.”
“I can’t believe how fast this school year is going.”
“Yeah, me either,” I reflected. “How was your flight?”
“Long. I’m glad I don’t have to make the trip all the time.” I heard the tension in his voice and knew why it was there. We’d talked every day on the phone over winter break, and he’d already given me the rundown on his family long before then. His parents constantly squabbled, only staying together “for the sake of the kids.” Bradley was the youngest and in college, so it wouldn’t surprise anyone involved if they announced a divorce at some point in the near future.
“I’m sure you can find something once the school year is over,” I reminded him. “A job or an internship, something.” He dreaded the thought of being out in California all summer long. I was more grateful than ever for my parents just then, knowing I would always have a home to go to. When I remembered how irritated I used to get with them and how many times I’d lied, I felt fresh guilt. But that was the old me.
“I know. And we’ll be closer together, too, which is another plus.” He squeezed me a little tighter then, and I snuggled against him.
“Yeah, thousands of miles don't really do it for me,” I murmured.
“Me, neither. I missed the smell of your shampoo.” He nuzzled my neck, breathing deeply.
I giggled as a shiver went up to my spine. “You can find it in any drugstore,” I teased.
“Not the same. And don’t think I didn’t go in one day and uncap a bottle to catch a whiff because I did.”
“Oh, you didn’t!” I looked up at him, laughing. “That’s so weird!”
“Yeah, the people working at the counter probably thought I was some sicko. I’m sure they printed out a screenshot from the security footage and hung it behind the register in case I ever come in again. They’ll know who to look for next time.” He shrugged. “Could’ve been worse. I could’ve walked around asking girls if I could smell their hair.”
I fell against him, laughing harder. He had a way of making me laugh no matter what we were talking about. I kissed him as soon as I was in control of myself again, and he kissed me back with an intensity that took my breath away. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let myself get a little lost in him. He smelled good, too, and his lips were as firm and delicious as the feeling of his arms around me.
I pulled back before things got out of control. Bradley sighed quietly, but he seemed to accept it. I knew I had stumbled on a gold mine when I found him—what red-blooded, nineteen-year-old guy would be okay with his girlfriend wanting to take things slow? He wanted more. He’d wanted more since around a week after we met. But I just wasn’t ready. When would I be ready? I wasn’t sure. I only knew I couldn’t leap before I looked. Not like I did with Richard.
I leaned my head on his shoulder again, holding him tighter. “I know we talked on the phone and through Skype every day during break, but it wasn’t the same as this,” I breathed.
“Tell me about it.” His hand rested on my back. Just knowing it was there, that he was there, was so sweet. He didn’t want anything from me. What a mind-blowing realization. He just wanted to be with me. I was enough.
Still, I wanted him to know I didn’t take him for granted. “I’m sorry that things are going so slow for us,” I whispered. I loved him so much. I didn’t want to lose him over something stupid like sex or my messed-up history. “I know there could be a hundred other dorm rooms for you to be in right now, and you’d be doing a lot more than this.”
“Look at me.” Bradley took me by the chin, tilting my head back until I looked him in the eye. “I came back for you all these years later for a reason. You don’t know what I went through just to get accepted to Harvard when I found out this was the school you were attending.”
“Sorry, I’m making you repeat yourself. I just want to do things right, you know?”
“No apologies needed. I’ll keep repeating myself for as long as you need to hear that I love you and will follow your lead, okay?”
I blushed. “You know. You never told me how you knew I would be at Harvard.”
“Easy. You were a smart kid, and I knew one day you would be here. Plus, you’re sexy, gorgeous…”
“My father told you, didn’t he?” I asked, cutting him off.
“I might have had a little help,” Bradley smirked.
I blushed again.
“I know I said this before, but I’m really sorry for not keeping in touch with you for all these years when you and your family moved overseas. It was just too painful. Some best friend I am.”
“I understand. But I kept my promise, right?”
“Yes,” I nodded and smiled.
“And for the record, I want you to know I would never take advantage
of you. I know you didn’t have to open up to me about what happened to you with that other guy. Especially since I want nothing more than to kill that fucking bastard who hurt you.”
“Bradley!”
“Sorry,” he regained his composure. It shocked me to hear him curse because I’ve never seen him riled up like this before. “I’m just saying you trusted me. You can keep trusting me now. I would never pressure you into doing something you don’t feel comfortable with.”
You don’t even know the half of it, I thought with a tinge of sadness. I couldn’t tell Bradley exactly who Richard was to me or how we’d met. All Bradley knew was that I’d been taken advantage of by a much older man who used my inexperience against me. That was the truth, and it was more than enough.
I closed one hand over his. “Thank you.”
“Thank you.” He kissed the tip of my nose before planting a soft kiss on my mouth. “Besides, it’s nice to for us to continue to catch up before we jump into bed together.”
I arched one eyebrow. “Oh? And you’ve done a lot of that?”
His face went red. “Don’t overthink what I just said, please.”
I couldn’t help but giggle. “I’m only teasing! You know that’s none of my business. You’re not the only understanding person in this relationship, you know.”
Bradley was gorgeous, tall, strong, and athletic. Of course, he’d had his share of girls. I’d be concerned if he hadn’t.
His brown eyes twinkled. “Like I was saying. If the day ever comes, it’ll be that much better.”
“I agree.” But it wouldn’t be for a while. I hoped he was as strong as he thought he was. I took his hand, locking my fingers with his.
“Ready for class tomorrow?” he asked.
I sighed. “I guess so.”
“Please. Don’t even pretend you’re not dying to get started.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, smirking.
“You’ll get straight-A’s this semester, just like last semester.”
“You make that sound like a bad thing!”
“It’s not!”
“You’re just jealous that you got one B-plus,” I teased.
“Maybe a little, but that’s not even what I’m talking about.”
“So, what are you talking about?”
“I hate it when you pretend you don’t like school. I know you do. And I like that you do. That’s just one cool thing about you. Don’t play it down.” He shrugged. “I like school, too.”
“I hope so because you have a lot more of it in your future than I do.” Another great thing about having a Pre-Law major for a boyfriend: he understood how serious I was about studying. He wasn’t some frat boy jock who only cared about partying. I didn’t have to put up with a bunch of guilt when I had an exam to prepare for or reading to do. Sometimes we even studied together just like we did back in grade school.
“When’s Molly getting back?” he murmured after a long time of cuddling in silence. I was actually almost asleep when he spoke. The light was getting dimmer in the room as the afternoon wore on.
“Tomorrow morning.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.” I grinned up at him.
“Hmm.” He kissed me again, and again I sighed as his lips enticed me. He might not have believed it if I told him, but just making out without doing anything else could be much hotter than going all the way.
He pulled away that time and groaned when he did. “Maybe I should get out of here while I still can,” he said, sounding mournful.
“Do you wanna go to dinner?” I asked, hopeful.
“I have a ton of things to do in my room,” he frowned. “I haven’t unpacked yet. I came straight over when you texted. I’ll just pick something up on the way back there.”
“Okay.” I stood, tiptoeing to kiss him one more time. “Call me later?”
“You don’t even have to ask.” He winked, kissed me, and then wrapped me in a big bear hug. “I’ll see you in the morning, okay? We still have years to catch up.”
“Sounds perfect,” I smiled up at him.
“I love you, Sophie. I always have, since we were kids.”
“I love you, too.” I smiled back.
Chapter 28
Once Bradley left, I checked in with my friends down the hall, and we decided to grab dinner at the cafeteria. We exchanged stories about the holidays and who got the best gifts as the three of us walked across campus. My friend Steph’s brother got so drunk on Christmas Eve, he fell into the tree and knocked the whole thing down. Her roommate, Madison, had witnessed a guy proposing to his girlfriend on New Year’s Eve at some fancy restaurant. The girl had said no. We all winced.
“So, how’s your childhood sweetheart?” Steph asked, giggling, as we walked into the cafeteria. There weren’t many people back yet, I saw. The place was normally packed at that time of day, but a lot of tables were empty. Kids were trying to squeeze the last few minutes out of winter break, I guessed.
I looked at Steph out of the corner of my eye as I answered. “Bradley’s fine.”
“He practically ran down the hall on his way to your dorm room,” she observed, still giggling. “I thought maybe you were having an emergency in there and he was running in to save you.”
“He didn’t run,” I blushed.
“He did! Boy, you’ve got him wrapped around your finger. I’d pay to know your secret.”
“She’s just jealous,” Madison laughed, flinching as Steph smacked her. “She wishes she had a stud like him waiting for her when she came back from winter break.”
“Shut up,” Steph warned.
“We’ll find you somebody,” I said, and the three of us talked about the upcoming parties we’d heard about, where Steph could hook up with somebody nice. I knew I was a lucky girl with Bradley—much more than my friends understood. I wanted them to be happy, too. Besides, any excuse to change the subject away from our lack of a sex life was okay with me. People had a tendency to ask questions I didn’t feel like answering.
That might’ve been enough for some people, the life I lived. Even for most people. All around me, all the time, there were kids my age who went to class and joined clubs and partied and got laid, and they were happy with that. I was happy, too. Still, even with all the fun gossiping and giggling together, my thoughts were elsewhere. I had work to do when I got back to my room, and it wasn’t the sort of work I could talk to the girls or even my boyfriend about.
Just because I’d stopped lying to my parents about most of my life didn’t mean I didn’t have a few secrets left up my sleeve. When I got back to my dorm room, I opened my laptop with a smile I couldn’t keep off my face. There was something so comforting about it.
Sure, I was a member of the computer club, which was a total joke. What the hell were we supposed to do together that had anything to do with computers? Sit around and talk about gaming? Sure, they did that, but I had nothing to add since I wasn’t a gamer. What else was there? Comparing our latest code? Yes, sometimes we asked for help if we got stuck on something and exchanged new techniques—we were all pretty generous with each other. Beyond that, we sat around and bullshitted.
My roommate Molly was trying her hardest to get me to agree to pledge her sorority that semester, and I told her I’d give it a shot since I liked the girls I’d met so far. I had never seen myself as a sorority sister, but she would never leave me alone about it if I didn’t at least make it look like I was giving it a try. I didn’t see myself getting accepted, anyway, but it was a service organization, and that would look good on my resume if lightning struck and they thought I was good enough to be a part of them.
Even so, those were things I could tell Bradley about. My parents, too—they were over the moon with excitement over me joining things and being normal. They would never use the word normal, of course, but we all knew that was what they were thinking. They were really scared for me for a little while there, and looking back, I could understan
d why. I had no idea at the time how right they were about the danger I was in.
The memory of those tense days, days full of sneaking around, was what led me to keep my other group a secret. It didn’t help that we weren’t exactly walking the straight and narrow together.
I flexed my fingers as I always did when I sat down behind my laptop, then logged into the secret forum I’d created for the half-dozen heavily vetted members of my hacker club.
I should’ve known better, of course, but hacking was part of me. I could step away from the really highly dangerous parts—the sort of thing Richard had me involved with—but I couldn’t go cold turkey. No way. Not after years and years of honing my craft. I told myself I was only keeping myself in the game, just staying sharp and practicing what I’d learned. I wasn’t out to hurt anybody or change any lives.
Still, the thought of Bradley finding out his girlfriend was a closet hacker made me feel cold inside. He wouldn’t like it. He’d hate it, in fact, the future lawyer that he was. One of the many little ironies of my life, dating a guy who wanted to be the next Clarence Darrow.
He never had to know. Nobody did. Hence the careful vetting. I didn’t let just anybody in my club. I’d immediately identified the computer club members who showed a lot of promise, the ones who were always helping everybody else with coding, who followed along with current trends and kept themselves at the top of their game. They were the ones with a real passion. Skill wasn’t enough. They loved what they did.
One by one, I’d asked them if they’d ever tried hacking. Always casually, always in the middle of a conversation about something related to our work. Like it had just occurred to me to ask. Sometimes they’d even bragged about how far they’d gotten into the school records or some other supposedly unhackable system. So, I’d asked them to show me. The ones who could actually walk their talk got an invite.
Three of them were having a chat when I logged in. Kiki, Josh, and Daniel. They greeted me, asked how break went, but quickly went back to the topic they’d been on before I showed up. I scrolled back through their conversation to see what they were all worked up over.
