“No, why would that be weird?”
“I know you were supposed to be getting married, right? Weren’t you planning your wedding?”
She lets out a sigh. “I was, but now that I’m disengaged from the situation, I wonder if I was ever really going to go through with it.”
“What makes you say that?”
“I don’t know. There’s a big difference between a wedding and a marriage. I think a lot of brides get caught up in the wedding planning not realizing what the actual marriage is going to be like. I definitely fell into that category. It just seemed like something I had to do—like a logical next step. All my friends were married—every single one of them. I was the final holdout. But thinking back on it now, the whole thing was a blessing in disguise.”
“Do you ever wish you had your old life back? Not the cheating asshole, but the rest of it.”
“No. I really don’t. It was an easy life, but it came with a price. I was beholden to my dad. Anything he wanted or needed from me he got—a new suit, a hostess for one of his many parties, even a lunch date. I would drop everything for him. I wasn’t his daughter, I was his personal assistant, available twenty-four seven. I think that’s part of why he’s so upset that I left. Who’s going to do his bidding now?”
“Is he married?”
“No, not since my mom left when I was sixteen. But why would he need to be married with me around taking care of all his shit all the time?”
I frown. “I didn’t know your mom left. Where did she go?”
She rolls off of me and lies on her side. “California. It’s fine. Old news.”
I rub her arm. “I’m sorry.”
She forces a smile, but it’s not all the way there. “Don’t feel bad for me. I’ve led a really privileged life.”
I don’t reply, but it strikes me how lucky I’ve been to have my family close to me all these years, warts and all.
Her eyes droop closed. “I think the week is winning. I’m not sure how much longer I can stay awake.”
“Ever slept on a boat?” I ask.
“Nope,” she says with a lazy smile. “But there’s a first time for everything.”
I kiss her on the lips and then pull her close.
20
Kylie
As I tiptoe back from the bathroom, I take a moment to pause and appreciate Brett’s body. His shirt has fallen to either side, exposing his chest and abs, and his shorts have ridden down, giving me a glorious peek of that little patch of hair on his lower torso that leads south.
Part of me can’t believe that I got to have him for the night and didn’t take full advantage. I just wasn’t ready yet. I needed to keep some control. I hadn’t planned to take things as far as I did, but there was something empowering about going down on him. I enjoyed it for the first time in a long time.
He’s so crazy different from Joshua. He’s all man, through and through. So much game. He touches me and my bones go limp inside my body. It’s like when I touch still water and ripples form all around my finger. That’s my body when Brett touches me.
I’m about to slide back into bed with him when his phone rings, rustling him. He pats the bed and then his pants pockets.
I find it at the foot of the bed and hand it to him.
“Thanks,” he says, squinting as the sun peeps through a closed curtain. “Hello?”
Whatever the person on the other end of that line says has him wide awake. “I’ll be right there.”
He ends the call and darts out of bed. “We’ve got to go.”
“What’s going on?”
“My grandmother’s missing.” He looks around at the empty cans and bottles. “I’ll have to come back and clean this later.”
I grab my purse and step outside onto the dock as he locks the door behind us. He runs his hand through his hair as we practically jog to the car. “I don’t have time to take you home.”
“That’s fine. I can help.”
He glances over at me as we speed walk toward the car. But he doesn’t say anything.
“Or I can get a rideshare?” I ask, feeling completely displaced.
He seems to consider this, but I’m really hoping he doesn’t take me up on this offer, because the credit card I had in my app no longer works.
“No, you can just come with me if you don’t mind.”
“No, of course not.”
We jump into the car and drive Northbound without a word. He’s laser-focused on the road, and it looks like he could crush nails with his teeth. I want to say something, but I have no clue what. He doesn’t exactly seem receptive, understandably.
We pull into a community with small homes, paint chipping off the sides and grass and weeds grown up beside several of them. He parks in front of a trailer that has a couple of cars already parked there.
We both get out and Brett heads inside. I’m not sure if I should follow him or not, so I hang back.
A guy in his late teens resembling Brett but a little shorter and with more of a baby face approaches. When he looks up from his phone and sees me, he freezes and then looks away.
“Hi, I’m Kylie,” I say, my voice shaky.
“Hi,” he says with a forced wave, still looking away from me.
“I’m Brett’s friend,” I say.
He just nods, looking anywhere but at me.
Brett comes out. “What happened?”
“I guess I forgot to put the padlock on the door when I got home last night,” the guy says, running his hand through his hair just like Brett does when something is off.
“Goddamnit, Matthew. You’ve got to start thinking.”
“I just fucking forgot once, okay?”
“Once is all it takes.”
The guy scrunches up his face and grabs a handful of his hair like he’s going to pull it out of his head. Brett closes his eyes like he’s recalibrating. “I’m sorry. Let’s just find her. Have you knocked on any of the neighbors’ doors to see if they’ve seen her?”
“No,” the guy says almost desperately.
“What have you been doing?”
“I’ve just been walking around and looking for her. What the hell do you think I’ve been doing?”
“All right, you go look down by the street and I’m gonna start knocking on doors. One of us should stay here in case she comes back.” Brett looks at me.
“I’ll stay here,” I say.
They both take off in different directions and I exhale a breath for the first time. Brett bangs on the door of the trailer next to this one, and an irritated man comes to the door, shakes his head, and then shuts the door in Brett’s face. Brett tries another and then another, until he’s out of my sight.
A woman walks up in an oversized, ratty Guns N’ Roses T-shirt. I can’t tell if she’s wearing shorts or not. She pops a cigarette into her mouth and lights it, blowing the smoke in my direction. She’s oddly familiar to me, but I can’t figure out why until she opens her mouth. “What the fuck is going on around here?”
My heartbeat pauses as I realize this has got to be Tori’s mother. Her low, throaty voice is identical to Tori’s. She looks like Tori, too, but she’s much thinner, and not in a healthy way.
“Their grandmother is missing,” I say.
“Mmm,” she utters, glancing around. “That’s what they get for keeping her here. If it was my mom, I’d put her in a home.” She looks me up and down like I’m pond scum. “Who are you?”
I don’t want to answer. I want her to walk away. “I’m just a friend.”
She smirks. “Yeah, I know all about Brett’s friends. Don’t get too attached, honey.” She takes another puff and then walks to a nearby trailer and goes inside. With this one conversation, I understand more about Tori than I ever imagined I would.
I stand outside the door, pacing for what seems like hours until Brett finally shows up. “The police have her. They’re bringing her and my mom back now.”
I put my hand to my heart. “Thank God.”
He nods, glancing around, looking completely shaken.
I put my hand on his arm, but he tugs it away. “It’s fine.” With that, I am completely shut off. “You can wait in the car if you’d like,” he says, handing me the keys.
I take this as a directive and get in his car. It’s not long before a police car pulls up and a middle-aged woman gets out of the car then helps an elderly woman out. The two women go inside while Brett talks to the cop. The teenager, who I assume is Brett’s little brother, kicks dirt around, not looking the police officer in the eye.
When the cop finally gets in his car and leaves, Brett talks to his brother, who doesn’t seem to have a problem looking Brett in the eye. After a while of them bickering back and forth, Brett goes inside, but his brother walks away.
It’s a while before Brett comes out, looking like he has run a marathon. He glances around, and when he makes eye contact with me in the car, it seems like he’s just now remembering I’m here. He walks over to my door. I’ve already got the window rolled down. It wasn’t that hot out here when all this started, but the sun has definitely come out, and it’s burning up in here.
“I meant for you to run the AC,” he says. “That’s why I gave you the keys.”
“I’m fine. How’s your grandmother?”
“She’s okay. Just got disoriented. Have you seen my brother?”
I point. “He went that way.”
He follows my gaze and then says, “I won’t be that much longer.”
“Take your time. Seriously.”
He forces a half-hearted smile and walks away.
I finally break down and turn the car and air conditioner on. I want to go in and introduce myself to Brett’s mother and grandmother, but this definitely does not seem like the appropriate time. After a while, Brett gets back with his brother in tow. His brother goes inside without another word, and Brett gets in the car.
“Listen,” I say, “if you need to stay, I can call someone to come get me.”
“We’re an hour away. I just need to take you home.”
I want to press the matter, but it doesn’t seem like I should push him right now. He backs out and we head home, riding in silence for a long time. I can’t take it any longer, so I say, “I assume that was your brother.”
“Yeah. That’s not how I meant for you to meet him.”
“I noticed he wouldn’t really look at me.”
“He’s like that with strangers.”
I try not to let his words sting, but it’s a little tough. He’s not in a great mood right now, and his tone reflects it, so I keep my thoughts to myself. He knows I’m here if he’d like to talk.
When we arrive at his place, he parks the car in his driveway, and I wonder if he’s going to invite me in. “I’ll go with you to Tori’s house. I want to talk to her a minute.”
“Sure,” I say, as if he was asking and not telling.
We walk into Tori’s unit, but she’s not home. I turn to him. “I guess she’s gone.”
“I’m gonna go home. I’m sorry about today. I know I hijacked your whole day.”
“It’s totally fine. I’m just glad your grandma is okay.”
He nods and turns to walk out the door, barely giving me a wave.
I take a shower and get dressed. I eat something, do a load of laundry, and then check in with Samantha, who I haven’t had a proper conversation with since I got here. I leave everything about Brett out. There’s no need for anyone back home to know about him or my feelings for him. Not that I don’t trust Samantha, but it’s just better for me to keep my mouth shut.
I try to watch television, but I’m too anxious. I feel so displaced, like I’m living someone else’s life. If I can ever get my own space, I’m hoping I will start to feel more like a real Florida resident. But for now, I’m a homeless person who strangers have taken pity on.
My phone rings, an actual call. It’s my mom. I close my eyes out of exhaustion. If ever there was a convenient time to talk to her, it’s now. Though I’d rather be struck by lightning.
I answer it. “Hey.”
“Finally, you take my call. I only gave birth to you.”
“Yes, I know. What’s up?”
“I’m just checking on you. I hear you’ve moved to Florida,” she says with a laugh.
“Just like I said I was going to,” I say.
“Yeah, but I didn’t believe you’d really do it.”
“Hmm,” I utter, because I don’t have anything else to say to her.
“You could’ve come out here to California,” she says.
“You could’ve offered that when I talked to you a few weeks ago.”
“Well, it wouldn’t be necessarily convenient for you to come here and live with me, but you’re my daughter. It’s not like I’d let you go homeless.”
I roll my eyes. My mom moved to California when I was sixteen. I would visit her for a week every summer, and I could tell she was done with me after about two or three days. We’d spend the rest of the week in our own pockets of her mansion...or her husband of the week’s mansion, I should say. If I’d have gone to her now, I have no reason to think it’d be any different.
“I’m not homeless,” I lie.
“Well, that’s a relief. So what are you gonna do down there in Florida?”
“I’ve got a job, actually.”
“Doing what?” she says, like it’s the craziest idea she’s ever heard.
“I’m working at a resort.”
“Like bringing people mai tais?”
I roll my eyes. This is what my mom thinks resort workers do.
“I’m cleaning houses, actually,” I say, just to get her goat.
“When you’re up for having an adult conversation, feel free to call me back.”
“Yep,” I say, and we hang up.
Tori finally gets home late in the afternoon wearing the same clothes she had on when she left for her date last night. I see I’m not the only one who didn’t come home.
“Looks like you had a good night,” I say.
“It was unexpected,” she says, but her smile reveals everything. “I’m gonna jump in the shower.”
“Cool. Um, did Brett get in touch with you?”
“Yeah,” she says, offering no further info.
After she gets out, she comes into the living room with a silk robe on and wet hair combed out down her back. I’m surprised at how long her hair is. She always wears it up in a bun, so I’ve never really been able to tell.
“I heard you met Brett’s family today,” she says, not looking up from her phone as she sits in the armchair.
I want to say I didn’t actually meet them, but instead, I say, “I think I might have met your mom.”
She huffs a laugh. “I bet that was a barrel of laughs.”
I don’t know how to respond to that. I could tell her I know what it’s like to have a mom who you don’t see eye to eye with, but the last thing I want to do right now is talk about my mom.
We sit in silence, scrolling through our phones, until a knock sounds at the door. She stands. “That’s Brett.”
I sit in somewhat stunned silence as she answers the door in that silk robe. He comes in. “Hey,” he says to me.
“Hey,” I say, not sure what’s happening, until the two of them head toward her bedroom. A moment later, the door closes, and I’m left glancing around the living room, looking for invisible answers.
After a few minutes of being glued to my seat, I realize I need to move my butt out of here. I walk out to the front porch and sit in a chair, glancing through my phone, but the battery is starting to get low, so I finally just put it down and sit there staring at the street, wondering what the hell is going on in there.
I have to understand that the two of them are like brother and sister and this is just what they do. But I want to be the one he talks things through with.
I’ve been sitting here for at least twenty minutes when a group walks past on the side
walk. It’s Bailey and Simone and a couple of guys. I squint and notice that one of the guys is Jack.
“Hey,” Bailey shouts. “What’s going on?”
“Oh, nothing,” I say as I glance at the doorway and then look back at them, feeling completely out of place.
“Come with us,” Simone says. “We’re going to the Circle.”
Part of me thinks I should, just to get out of Brett and Tori’s way, but the other part wants to know what the hell is going on. “I’m okay, but thanks for asking.”
They wave and walk off, but in a moment, Jack comes up the steps toward me. “What’s going on?”
I force a smile. “Nothing. I’m just sitting here.”
“Mmm-hmm. Now do you want to tell me what’s really going on?” He pulls up the empty chair next to me.
I glance at the house. “Are you supposed to be here?”
“Most definitely not.” He nudges me on the knee. “You don’t seem okay. Talk to me.”
I look through the window at the bedroom door, which remains irritatingly closed. I give him the short version about the day and then say, “I guess he wanted to talk to Tori about something to do with it all.”
“Let me give you a word to the wise. Anybody who wants to date either one of them has to be really okay with what they’ve got going on. I’ll be honest, I couldn’t handle it.”
“Is that what happened between Tori and you?”
He smiles. “If you wanted to know, all you had to do was ask.”
My neck heats up. “I’m sorry, I guess I got caught up in the rumor mill.”
“You really don’t have to worry about the two of them hooking up or anything.”
“I believe that,” I say, failing to mention she’s in there in a bathrobe. “But is this what it’s like? When there’s a problem, he goes to Tori and not the person he’s dating?”
He considers me with a smile. “Come to the Circle with us. Just step away for a minute. When this is blown over, you can talk to him about how you feel, and then maybe he’ll come to you next time.”
His words make perfect sense. But I certainly don’t want to mess things up by hanging with Jack when I was supposed to be waiting for Brett.
Down for Her Page 13
