I turned back to everyone else in the room. “Does anyone else care to comment on my sex life, or can I continue getting my ass kicked at beer pong?”
Ryan put his arm around me. “Let’s get our ass kicked.”
Smart man.
After a few awkward moments of shuffling, everything went back to normal. Huh. Forcing people to see the real me, the one I wanted to be viewed as, worked. Maybe I just needed to be this assertive with my parents and they’d ease up on me a little bit.
We finished a game, Ryan and I coming back and totally trashing Payton and Blake. Payton went to use the restroom and Blake had to run and get more beer from the Super E, leaving Ryan and me in the room.
Ryan bobbed a Ping-Pong ball in his water cup and said, “So, Adderall?”
I nodded. “It’s not something I’m proud of. Basically, I wanted to study longer than I was able to off two pots of coffee.”
His baby blues bore into me. I should have been embarrassed to admit this to him, but the way he looked at me, not like everyone else who gave pitying looks or complete disgust, I was glad it was finally out in the open. “No judgment here. I have my fair share of stuff that I’m not proud of.”
“Like what?” I wanted some nugget of information, something to level the playing field. He knew the one thing that had haunted me for the past six months, the thing I most regretted. I wondered what kept him up at night.
“When I first met you, I was at an all-time low. I’d just gotten kicked out of college. None of the classes really interested me, and I spent more time fishing and dicking around than I did studying. Pretty much sabotaged my college career because I just didn’t care. Now I wish I’d spent a little more time paying attention.”
I nodded. “That sucks, but you can always go back if you want to.”
“Yeah. We’ll see. But you want to know what I’m really ashamed of?”
“What?”
“When we first met, I’d been really upset about, well, everything, and took it out on you. I regret that a lot.”
“I think we both weren’t very nice to each other.”
He brushed his fingers over my cheek. “I’m glad that’s changed.”
I wrapped my arms around his waist, my arms working under his shirt and skimming the toned muscles in his back. “Me, too.”
Rising up on my tippy toes, I was level with Ryan’s face, our lips inches apart. He leaned in, our mouths meeting, the familiar warmth spreading through my insides, straight to the spot between my legs. His tongue swept across my lower lip, playfully flicking in my mouth.
He pulled away and said, “You are the best thing that happened to me all summer. You’re amazing.”
I smiled and leaned in to kiss him again.
It was nice to hear this from him, but something hit me—I didn’t need his approval. Maybe Dr. Ahrendt was right. I was the key to my own happiness. And I knew just what I needed to do in order to feel this way completely.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Ryan
Jules was full of surprises. Last night, it came out that she was addicted to Adderall—a total shocker. Knowing that she’d had some big fuckups like I did made me fall for her a little more. This may have been just a hookup, that stupid article giving me the push to start things with her, but it was quickly morphing into something more than that. She was different than any girl I’d ever met. I wasn’t a violent person, but the way that asshole tried to shame her last night for sleeping with Andrew had me ready to pound him into the ground. My physical force wasn’t necessary, though. Leave it to Peach to rip him a new one. I was stupid to think she’d need defending.
Her past didn’t matter. I just wanted to be a part of her present—and maybe future. After I turned in my application to Humboldt, I knew this was my Option C, the one that would have been helpful three years ago. If it didn’t pan out, then I’d go to Texas. I didn’t want to tell anyone about this unless I got it. No use shredding my ego any more than necessary. So for now, all people needed to know was that I was getting ready to go to the police academy at the end of summer. I’d tell Gary that I wouldn’t be leaving with him next week. He’d probably flip shit, but I needed these next few weeks to see if the wildlife preservation internship panned out.
Grandma had invited me over for biscuits and gravy this morning, so I made my way over to her house across town. As soon as I walked through the front door, she wrapped me in a hug. I lifted her off the ground and planted a kiss on her cheek.
“Mornin’, Grandma.” I set her down and she patted my back.
“You’re awfully happy today.”
“I’m always happy when you make breakfast for me.”
She looked at me suspiciously. “Even more excited than usual. Is it a girl?”
“You know you’re my number one.” I winked.
She swatted me with a dishrag. “You’re full of it. Who is she?”
I held up my hands, and before she could hit me again I said, “Her name is Jules. She works with me.”
“What did I hear about a girl?’ Gary walked into the kitchen, his hair damp, like he’d just stepped out of the shower.
I shook my head. “It’s nothing.”
“You’re turning red, RJ. Doesn’t look like nothing to me.”
Fuck. Since when did I blush? Peach had changed more about me in the past few weeks than just my ability to see an enjoyable future. I’d started entertaining the idea of a relationship, something I didn’t think possible after Lex. In fact, I didn’t feel anything anymore when I thought of Lex.
“He met someone. At the store,” Grandma chimed in, placing a bowl of biscuits on the kitchen table.
Dammit, Grandma. I ignored this and grabbed the gravy from the stovetop and poured it into a serving container.
Gary grunted. He and Dad had the same grunt, the one my grandfather used to make when there was a bad play by the Broncos or he’d overcook a steak on the grill. “Have you thought any more about my offer?”
We all sat down at the table. I grabbed a biscuit and drizzled gravy over the top before answering. “I’m going to take another month here.”
Gary dropped his fork on his plate. “And why would that be? What do you have going for you here?”
Nothing I could tell him about. He’d laugh in my face if I told him that the reason I was passing on going early to the academy hinged on the remote possibility of an internship. “I have some things going on. Want to see them through before I leave.”
“Is this because of that girl?” Grandma asked. I should have never told her about Jules. Now I’d never hear the end of it.
I pushed my fork through the gravy on my plate. “No.”
Gary shoved a piece of biscuit into his mouth and stared at me from across the table. “I hope it’s for a good reason. I don’t know why you’d want to spend more time at your dad’s house than you need to.”
“Dad’s fine. He’s been pretty cool this summer.” Much better than I expected when I first got to town. Never thought I’d be defending him, but this contest between them was getting old quick. Dad may have been a dick sometimes, but I could admit he probably had to be that way because I wasn’t the easiest to deal with. “Three weeks and I’ll be back in Texas.”
He nodded and continued eating breakfast.
I got him off my back for three weeks—and, if things went according to plan, I’d be staying in Spring Hill instead of wearing a police uniform at the end of summer.
After breakfast, I went back to Blake’s fraternity. I tugged off my shirt and got back in the daybed, my makeshift room for the next few days. Breakfast sat in my stomach like a gut bomb, and all I wanted to do was take a nap and then spend the rest of the day with Jules.
I pulled out my phone to text her. We both had the day off and I wanted to take her to this new mini golf place that just opened near the mall. Something to celebrate knowing what I wanted to do with my life. This girl deserved a fucking gold medal for helping me sort out
my life, even if she didn’t realize she’d done it.
R: Morning, beautiful
J: Hi ;-)
R: You should come on over. I’m still at Blake’s.
J: I will. Just have to deal with some family stuff first
R: What a crying shame. I’m in bed and can think of something way more fun than dealing with family right here, right now.
J: Are you using songs to woo me again?
R: Is it working?
J: You got me.
I knocked my head into my pillow. This girl would be the end of me, I knew it. But I couldn’t stop running into the flames.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Jules
I pressed the speed dial for my parents’ number, clutching my phone in my shaky hand. Last night made me realize something. I’d spent my entire life, especially the last five years, trying to impress people. How could I let myself be pushed into a career I wasn’t even interested in? It ticked me off so much to hear Ryan talk about how he didn’t know what he wanted to do, but was willing to try, to flounder, as he searched for his passion. I knew my passion and yet I was steering further away from it each semester. I wanted to work with athletes, not work in a hospital. And I was going to tell my parents just that. Toilet paper degree be damned, I was going to do something I loved.
Hitting send, I pulled the phone to my ear. My pulse hammered against my temple, and I took a deep breath to steady my heart rate. Mom picked up on the third ring.
“Good morning, Juliette.”
“Hi, Mom.” My voice cracked, and I could already feel myself retreating back into good daughter territory. No. Girl, you are stronger than this. But was I? Sure, I could stand up to a douchey frat guy, but this was my mother we were talking about. The same one who asked me if I was really going to eat another Oreo while staring at my waistline. The one who would have been better off with Payton as her daughter. “I’d like to talk to you about something.”
“Me, too. We’re going to be in town today.”
“Como?” The only times Mom and Dad had traveled down to Spring Hill were to drop off my boxes for the apartment at the beginning of each school year and once to take me to rehab.
“I really wish you’d talk like an educated individual. We’ve decided we’re going to take a family trip down to see you in Spring Hill.”
“Oh, okay.”
“We’ll be there around five. We can do dinner.”
“Sounds good.”
I hung up the phone and groaned. What happened to telling her how I felt? I could do that tonight, I guess.
Grabbing my keys, I left the apartment and headed toward Blake’s fraternity, where Ryan was staying. He was lying in Blake’s daybed when I walked into his room, his hair disheveled, my fingers itching to work my way through the soft mess.
He turned to me and smiled, and my heart pounded faster than it had before I’d entered the room. “How was working out your family matters?”
“Craptastic. My parents are coming into town.” I sat down on the bed, crossing my legs.
“Yeah?”
I chewed on my lip, contemplating if I really wanted to ask Ryan to sit through a couple hours of torture. Misery needed company, right? “Do you want to go to dinner with me? And them?”
He grabbed my hand, his thumb smoothing over my skin, sending goose bumps rushing up my arm. “I’d love to.”
“Really?”
He smiled. “Well, you’ve met my dad.”
I cocked my head and shot him a look. “Um, I work for your dad. That’s a little different.”
“Small potatoes.”
“There’s something you have to know.” I swallowed past the tightness in my throat. Just the thought of Ryan meeting Mom, the way she’d potentially treat him. I wouldn’t subject my worst enemy to a dinner with her, and here I was asking him to go voluntarily. “My mom can be a little…overwhelming.”
“If I can handle my dad, I think I got your mom covered.”
“I don’t know. Have you seen that one movie with Robert De Niro where he’s the overprotective father? That’s basically my mom. I understand if you don’t want to come—”
“Jules?” he interrupted.
“Yeah?”
“I like you. And I’d love to meet your scary mom.”
I laughed. He’d said this before, but this had a lot more sincerity behind it. “Okay.”
I joined him under the covers, resting my head against his bare chest. Ryan felt like home should be, how I wish mine was—warm and comfortable. I wanted to bottle up this feeling and keep it forever. I’d slowly been taking down my walls with him, showing him the real me. Something I hadn’t done with a guy—ever.
His breath caressed my skin as he said, “I know I said I’d like to keep it just fun, but, if you’re open to it, I’d like to explore other options, too. Maybe we can take this one day at a time and see where it leads us?”
I laced our fingers together. “Sounds perfect.”
Around five, my mom called to say she was in town. At her insistence, she asked for Payton and Blake to join us for dinner. Of course. This was going to be a total gushfest over the awesomeness of Payton and Blake. Future Dr. and Dr. McDreamy. I hated how bitter I sounded, but that was how I felt around my mom, a constant gloom sucking out any happiness in the air.
Ryan and Blake were already over at our apartment, playing Mario Kart. Ryan was playing as Princess Peach, which struck me as a little off. I’d pegged him for choosing Yoshi or Wario, but he chose a princess. I shook my head and smiled as he whooped after making Blake’s character crash and burn from a banana. Always an enigma.
A knock came from the door and my spine immediately took its rigid, self-preservation stance. Blake shut off the video game, and everyone got off the couch, making their way to the kitchen.
I took a deep breath and opened the door, a smile plastered on my face. This was going to be okay. I just had to make it through dinner—two hours of torture, tops. Small doses were a heck of a lot better than being trapped in their house for an entire weekend.
Mom had a blood-red purse slung over her arm, matching the color of her dress. I gave her props; the woman had style. “Hello, Juliette.”
“Hey, Mom.” I gave her a quick hug. Peering around her shoulder, I didn’t see my dad. I thought she said this was a family get-together. “Where’s Dad?”
“Emergency at the hospital. He was called in last minute. He sends his regards.”
“Oh.” I frowned. He was usually the barrier between me and her. The silent one who stepped in whenever she took it too far. Guess I was on my own tonight.
Her brows scrunched together as she studied my shoulders and face. “What happened to your skin? It’s so red.”
Heat flooded my cheeks. Well, Mom, I was a little too preoccupied with sex on a boat to think about sunscreen. Sex apparently cancelled out all logic. Ryan took my hand behind me, giving it a knowing squeeze. Our secret. “Tanned a little too long, I guess.”
“You really need to be more careful. What kind of example are you going to be setting for your patients?”
Do not roll your eyes, I commanded myself. That would just make it worse. Instead, I gripped Ryan’s hand harder. “Yes, Mom.”
Mom turned her attention to the other three people in the room, now noticing we weren’t alone. Her face lit up when she saw my roommate. “Payton! So good to see you. Did you get the chocolate-covered coffee beans I sent in Juliette’s care package?”
“Yes, I did. Thank you, Dr. Carmichael.”
“And Blake, great to see you again.” She grabbed Blake’s hand and beamed up at him. “Congratulations on getting into Drexler’s med school.”
“Thank you, Dr. Carmichael.”
She let out a hearty laugh. Her game face, the one she used when she was around company. She never laughed like that around me. “Please, call me Vivian.”
She looked to Ryan and then to me, her eyebrows knit. “And who is this, Juli
ette?”
“This is my…” Crap, what are we? We hadn’t discussed this, and Ryan hated labels. But Ryan did say he wanted to test out our options, and at this moment, I really wanted him to be mine. This boy had made me the happiest I’d been in years. “Boyfriend. Ryan, this is my mom, Vivian. Mom, this is Ryan.
Turning to me, she said, “You didn’t mention a boyfriend.” Then she pivoted to Ryan. “Nice to meet you, Ryan.”
He extended his hand and shook my mother’s. “Nice to meet you, Dr. Carmichael.”
She nodded and didn’t correct his formal use of her name. Apparently no Vivian for him.
The air turned stuffy, everyone standing around awkwardly. A muffled sound came from Mom’s purse and I inwardly rolled my eyes. No way had she the gall to bring her craptastic dog.
Just as I was sure Mom wouldn’t pull a stunt like that, she opened her purse and Caesar’s demon Pomeranian face popped through the opening. She yipped when we made eye contact. “Can Caesar stay in your room while we go to dinner?”
“You brought Caesar?” I glared at the dog. We’d been having a Hatfield and McCoy feud since Mom got her in high school. She was supposed to be my dog. My Christmas present. But she quickly became attached to my mom and had a special hatred toward me. She loved dragging my underwear around the house when dates came over, and there was always the fight over the prime spot on the couch. Et tu, Brute, much?
“With your dad working late, I didn’t know when he’d be home to feed her.”
I sighed. “Sure, why not? My bedroom sounds good.” Not like I’d let hell dog have free roam of the apartment—not if I wanted our deposit back.
“Where did you want to go for dinner?” I asked.
“What’s that one you took me to last time? The restaurant with the pepper wearing the sombrero.”
“Pepe’s?”
“Yes, that’s the one.”
Turning to the group, I asked, “Is everyone cool with Mexican?”
They all murmured agreement. They were just along for the ride of this family shit show.
I took in a deep breath. Might as well get this over with. One dinner wouldn’t kill me. Probably. Maybe. “Sounds good.”
Foolproof Page 16
