“Kat thought she saw you in Sydney three years ago. You were on a special surgical unit tasked to operate on some diplomat from Eastern Europe. I told her that man couldn’t possibly be you because I didn’t know you ever had an interest in pursuing medicine, let alone neurosurgery. How did you keep that from me?”
The truth was the first thing that came to my mind, which was why I shifted abruptly, causing the swing to creak.
“Spit it out, Ash. I can handle it. I’m a big girl now.”
I watched her with a lopsided smile. “You sure are.” And I was a big boy. “My interest in medicine belonged to me. I thought if I hid it, no one could take it away from me, not even you.”
She pressed her lips together as she nodded. I’d hurt her feelings, and to console her, I rubbed her thigh just as she had done.
“It’s okay,” she said, choked up, then cleared her throat. “I know I used to be a bitch. We used to do things to hurt and control each other because we had no control over ourselves. We were taught to be that way.” She sat her petite hand on top of mine. “And I’m glad you went out on your hero’s journey. You’re successful, and I heard you were in love too.”
I wasn’t surprised Spencer couldn’t keep my relationship with Penina to himself.
“I am,” I confessed. “What about you? Are you still with Dale?”
“No way. Dale is still chasing tail, cocaine, and pipe dreams.”
“Then you dumped him?”
She sighed. “A long time ago.”
I was waiting for Bryn to ridicule him some more but instead she recounted tales about her recent travels and the people she met along the way. She was about to hop on a flight to Marrakesh when she got the phone call from Spencer about me.
“But I’ve stayed in tents the size of a compact car. And the best thing I’ve ever done was the glass igloo in Kakslauttanen, Finland, falling asleep under the aurora borealis. It was so damn surreal. I never felt so—” She stared thoughtfully at the cemetery across the street. “So here. In existence in God’s great big beautiful world. And I would’ve never seen or experienced any of it if I hadn’t found the courage to finally leave Dale in my dust.”
The way the light caught Bryn’s silvery skin and delicate pink mouth made her appear transformed into an angelic being. Who the fuck is she? What has the angel sitting beside me done to my devilish and neurotic sister? I didn’t miss the old her, but I wished she hadn’t had to be away from me to find that new version of herself.
I watched her face turn brighter as she spoke about the pyramids of Giza and how humbling it was to stand on ancient ground. After Marrakesh, she planned to return to Thailand to join a group of seniors she’d met in Singapore on an ocean-exploration expedition.
I had nearly finished my second glass of bourbon. My head was light, and that meant I’d had enough, although I hadn’t been that relaxed in a while. I sniffed, chuckling as I put my glass on the table. “Hanging with the wise bunch, huh?”
Bryn set her glass next to mine. “All five of them are retired archeologists, and I was so lucky …” Bryn furrowed her eyebrows then quickly scooted back against the bench and shook her head. “I’m talking too much.”
“No, it’s okay. I like listening.”
“Well, I don’t like talking too much about myself. I’m working on ego-speaking. I want to hear about other people more than indulge in myself.”
“It’s okay to indulge in yourself when you’re interesting. And you have become interesting as hell.”
She smiled graciously as her gaze danced around my face. “I can hardly believe I’m sitting here talking to you, Ash. I missed you so much.” She touched her chest and sniffed. “Just …” She closed her eyes and sighed. “Don’t ever leave me again, okay?”
I gently caressed her face. “I won’t.”
“You’d better not. So …” She rubbed her hands together and clapped the tips of her fingers twice. “Tell me about your girl. I bet she’s lovely.”
I told her how intelligent my girl was and admitted that it was her beautiful face that inspired me the most.
“There’s something about the way her features are placed. It’s like she’s art made specifically for me. I know it sounds superficial.”
“No,” she said quickly. “Not at all. She was made for you, and you were able to look at her and tell.” She rubbed her hands together. “I want to meet her. When can I meet her?”
I yawned hard. “Fuck,” I said, shaking my head briskly. “Sorry about that.”
“It’s okay. You’re tired. Why don’t you just go upstairs and go to bed?”
The motionless, warm, and wet night, the trees, opaque in the dark like hairy cavemen, the bourbon, Bryn, our conversation—it all made my eyelids heavier than usual.
After standing, I stretched my body from side to side and yawned again. “I think I should.”
Bryn raised her arms above her head to stretch. “It’s a beautiful night, isn’t it?”
I focused on the chair swing tied to a thick branch on the oak tree. “Yeah.” I sighed, thinking about how nice it would be if Penina were here.
“Ash?” she called quietly.
I turned to look at her.
“Although I won’t get involved in your Julia Valentine predicament, I do have some advice for you. Do you want to hear it?”
Bryn had tilted her head as she waited for my reply. As long as I’d known her, which was all my life, she’d never done that—asked before issuing advice.
“Sure,” I said.
“Be nice to her. That’s how you’re going to send Julia packing. You’ve always treated her like crap and vice versa. Julia, unfortunately, is burdened by untreated abusive-daddy issues.”
My grimace intensified while I tried to make the connections in my brain. “Okay.”
“Think about it. Remember we used to call her dad AV Dickhole?”
I snorted and nodded.
“For this purpose, and since we are practicing being real mature adults, let’s take the Dickhole part off and call him AV.”
“What the fuck happened to you? Has an alien invaded your body?”
She chuckled. “I’m standing right here.”
“Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining, but please …” I folded my arms. “Continue.”
“Well, AV purported to love Julia, but look what his love entailed. Remember how he used to parade her in front of guests at parties and say how sexy she was and how she was going to be a real asset? Even forcing her to marry Jasper when she liked you more. She’s as scared as hell of Jasper. Being treated like crap is Julia’s comfortable place, and when you treat her that way, she wants more of you. Talk to her, be nice, and I bet she’ll go somewhere else and find another poor soul who makes her feel like AV does.”
I nodded and said, “Okay.”
As we hugged good night, Bryn’s words wouldn’t leave me. Did I treat Julia like crap? It had been a long time since I’d interacted with her. I had to think hard to recall our encounters.
The room upstairs was as quaint and modest as the rest of the house. The space looked like something straight out of a horror movie, though. Sheer white curtains covered the windows. The material was so flimsy, they may as well not have been there. There were two twin beds, one on each side of the room, and a stuffed animal sitting on a rocking chair. Where in the fuck did Bryn find this place?
I took off my pants, button-down shirt, T-shirt, and socks, folded each, and sat them on the rocking chair. Then I turned off the light and stretched out across the small bed. When I lifted my head, I saw that my feet were dangling over the edge. I’d never been that uncomfortable in a bed before, not even in a call room. But it didn’t matter. Bryn and I were in the same house again.
I stared at the ceiling, wanting to give in to sleep but also fight it while striving to picture Julia’s face. The act was like focusing on an eye chart and trying to read the bottom line. Her face and body were a blur, although her p
ersonality and the crazy shit she used to do were as clear as the top line of that same chart.
Our last interaction had taken place at a private island on the Hudson River. I invited her to a friend of a friend of a friend’s party. Julia had arrived before me, which was something she always did. It was a tactic. The early bird got the advantage of reading the room, knowing the players, and disarming the late birds.
She had already started with a guy named Rudy Lawson, a financier out of Manhattan. He was high on cocaine. She was not. Julia knew how to stay sober, which was another choice she made to garner an advantage over the drug-addicted rich people we often hung around.
Rudy was all over her with fucking octopus hands, and she let him rub her thighs and slide his fingers up and down her slit while he tongued her. No one cared that they were a few strokes and gropes removed from fucking while in public. That was the sort of shit that went on at parties on private islands. Regardless, Julia was always aware when I walked into the room. She wanted me to see what she was doing. Her goal was to provoke me—make me feel jealous and worthless.
I homed in on him kissing and sucking on her neck, his mouth making its way to her fake tits. I was mad as hell. The thing was that she never had a reaction to sexual stimulation, not even while I was doing it. Her body was an object, a means to an end. And even though I knew that, it didn’t stop me from wanting to rip Rudy’s head off.
Suddenly, I recalled a woman approaching me while I remained zeroed in on Julia. When I looked at her, it was as if she wasn’t there. I imagined she introduced herself and said something about knowing who I was and being glad to finally meet me. My heart would’ve been racing like a gazelle narrowly escaping the jaws of a predator. I would’ve been driven mad by the blatant disrespect.
My memory of that night on the private island was interrupted by one of Penina sitting next to Greg Carroll at Nurse Peters’s party. He’d felt the good vibes that being next to her aroused and was drunk on them, wanting them all for himself. When she saw me, she smiled, though, warm and reassuring. Even though I hated that he was drinking up the attention that should’ve been mine, in the end, she was mine, and Penina would do nothing to jeopardize what was happening between us.
Julia, though—she didn’t do that. She guided her hips more toward Rudy’s finger-fucking and tongued the guy harder and deeper while eyeing me the whole time.
“Why the fuck didn’t you leave?” I whispered to the dark room.
Why the fuck did I storm in her direction, jerk her off Lawson’s lap, and drag her away, searching from room to room until I found one that had a leather couch? The piece of furniture I shoved her down on was brown, shiny, and hard, and when she hit the cushion, she slammed against it. I knew it hurt her, and that got me hard. I hated hurting women but not Julia. I took a condom out of my pocket—I knew to never fuck her without one—and put the rubber on, grabbed Julia by her hips, and fucked her like an animal, growling and snarling, focusing on stabbing her deep with my dick. I wanted it to hurt.
Julia laughed as I banged her. “Harder, you loser. Fuck harder!” she kept shouting.
That fucking memory …
Rubbing my eyes, I remembered the next part. I had fucked her harder. I wanted to burst through her and destroy her pussy. But the next move in our charade belonged to me. One hard thrust, then I pulled out of her, stuffed my hard dick back into my pants, and zipped and buttoned them. I glared at her. She breathed heavily. Then she licked a finger, soaking it with saliva, and then slid it in and out of her pussy, trying to tempt me into finishing inside her. Julia needed that. It was her power. She knew how difficult it was to get me to come with her. It was all about control. I wanted to blow my load in her pussy, but then I would’ve lost. And to ensure my victory, I turned away from her and calmly walked out of the room.
I ended up fucking someone else that night, though I didn’t know who she was. I had to finish what Julia started, and any pussy would do. I was a fucking animal, a moron. But not anymore.
That was customary in my relationship with Julia. She disrespected me, and I did the same by withholding sex, refusing to ejaculate, or stopping before she came. And that meant that Bryn’s advice was spot-on. I had treated Julia like dirt.
“Holy shit.” I rubbed my eyes harder. I’d never been so fucking tired as I turned on my side.
I took solace in the fact that I wasn’t that guy anymore. But could Julia bring him back to the surface? Could she make me hurt Penina so severely that I lost the only woman I’d ever truly fallen in love with? I feared that she could, and that was why I tried to make myself comfortable in that kid’s bed and not between Penina’s thighs.
Chapter Eleven
Penina Ross
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I shouted at Greg.
His finger flew to his lips as he said, “Shush. If the team gets wind that I’m here, they’ll put a stop to what I’m trying do.”
I breathed heavily, like a mad bull staring down a red cape, as I observed him. His skin was blotchy and pale.
“Just, uh …” Greg searched around him, turning in circles, until he moved to a chair and plopped down in it.
My anger transformed into concern. “Are you okay?” I asked, approaching him. I pressed the back of my hand against his forehead.
“You smell good,” he whispered, eyes closed.
I narrowed my eyes at his euphoric expression, reminding myself that he probably wasn’t in his right mind. Usually, patients made unintended statements when their brains were out of sorts.
“You’re burning up,” I said.
“This morning, I shitted, shaved, and showered. I can’t remember the order, but before I could grab something to eat, I’d forgotten how I got home last night. Then I looked at myself in the mirror and couldn’t remember who the fuck I was. I just sat down, waiting for it to pass, and it did. After that, I came straight here. I need you to find out what’s wrong with me. I’m at the end of my rope.” He said all of that in a rush. The good news was that I was able to keep up.
“Well, let’s get you down to imaging—”
His hand flew up to cradle my waist. “No. No imaging. No one can see me.”
“Well, someone has to do it, and it can’t be me because I don’t know how to work the equipment.”
“Don’t you have someone who’s loyal to you? What about Sparrow?”
I gazed off. What about Sparrow? That was a good question. “He’s not in today.”
“Is there someone else?”
I twisted my mouth as I pondered his question. “Perhaps there is. Stay put.”
Greg nodded. “I will.”
Before I could turn away, he clamped his other hand down on my waist to stop me from going.
“I’m sorry for scaring you like that. You’re the only one I can trust.”
Gosh, he looked so vulnerable and so in need of my help. “It’s over.” I scrunched one side of my face. “But try another way to get my attention next time. That was scary as hell. I think I’m going to have to sign up for my friend’s self-defense course after that.”
He chuckled but didn’t let go of me. “Another thing,” he said.
I straightened my posture, putting my serious-doctor mask back on. “Yes?”
“I have a crush on you. I always have. Since I first saw you at Heathcliff’s trade party.”
I stepped out of his gentle grasp. “I’m taken, so the nature of our—”
“But you’re not married.” He smirked mischievously.
As a thought came to me, I folded my arms. “You’re not faking your symptoms to get next to me, are you?”
His hands flew up to show me his palms. “No. That’s not what this is about. I figured full disclosure was in order.”
“Humph.” I studied him with one eye narrowed. It was hard to determine whether I should believe him or not. I would have to wait for the scans to tell me the truth. His symptoms were severe. If they were real, the brain scan wou
ld show the damage.
I sighed. “Just wait here. Lock the door. You have my number. Call me if someone tries to open it.”
His flirtatious grin came back. “I’ll call you if someone doesn’t.”
I shook my head continuously. “You’re making me doubt there’s something wrong with you.”
Greg chuckled. “That was a joke, Dr. Ross. I do that when I’m scared. Lighten the mood and shit.”
“Well, then, don’t do that. If this is serious, then behave as though it’s serious.”
“Damn,” he whispered, watching me as if he was dazed. Then he took in a deep breath. “Okay. I will.”
I rolled my eyes but still turned and walked out of the room. As soon as I could, I planned to hand off Greg’s case. There were only three people I could trust to keep Greg’s condition private. Asher wasn’t around, and Angela didn’t have the pull to keep imaging and the lab from blabbing to the whole hospital that Greg Carroll was in the facility.
I stood in front of the third person’s office. After taking a deep breath, I braced myself and knocked.
“Come in,” Chief Brown said.
I slowly opened the door, and when the chief saw me, his face lit up.
“Dr. Ross. Are you here about the offer?”
I couldn’t stop my mouth from cracking a smirk. Are we really going to pretend that my new boyfriend isn’t his best friend and that I knew he knew all along that Jake Sparrow is Asher Christmas?
I took the necessary time to fold my arms across my chest, doing it slowly and confidently. “Did Asher put you up to it? Since he owns the hospital?”
His happy expression dropped. “I see.”
I let my arms fall to my sides. Acting like a bitch wasn’t my style. I really wished I had done that differently.
“Sorry about that,” I said, shaking my head. “No, that’s not why I’m here.”
His thick brown eyebrows drew together as uncertainty flashed in his gray eyes. “Then you know Asher Christmas and now Christmas Family Industries own the hospital.”
Embrace: The Secret Billionaire Asher Christmas Duet, Two (The Dark Christmases Book 9) Page 10
