by M. Skye
“Actually, it is the reason I want to move forward. We were on track to getting here before all that, and I felt like we needed to get back. We shouldn’t let it shape our future,” Jude advised.
“How could it not?” she screamed out in frustration. “You know every time you’re with me you think about it. You think about the fact that someone else ruined me. I don’t even know who the hell he was.”
Jude reached out and pulled her into his lap. “You’re not ruined. True, I wanted to be your first, I wanted that for both of us, and we’ve had that. That other time didn’t matter because it wasn’t your choice. As far as I’m concerned, I’m the only man you’ve ever been with, and I want you to think of it that way too.”
“How can I? Him touching me will always be in my head. I can’t remember the rest, but I will never forget his hands on me.”
“Remember this.” He captured her lips. “You wouldn’t let me tell your family or try to bring the guy up on charges. Hell, you wouldn’t even tell me who he was, so forget him and only think of me.”
“I try that, but I don’t know, maybe I was wrong to just let him go free.”
“You give me a name, and I’ll do whatever it takes to nail his ass.”
“I can’t.”
“Why are you protecting this guy?” he snapped. “Tell me his name.”
“I can’t! I don’t know it. I couldn’t tell you his name then because I didn’t know it. He was some guy who gave me a drink. I remember taking a drink and then him sliding his hand into my pants. Everything else is a blur.”
“Well, I don’t know then.” Jude sighed in defeat. “We will figure something out.”
“Why don’t you just admit it?”
“Admit what?”
“You think I got what I deserved. You told me we needed to study that night, and you were smart enough to stay home. I know you’re wondering why I’m such a fuckup and why you’re stuck cleaning up my messes.”
For the first time in the conversation, Jude let out a chuckle and stared into her eyes. “You listen to me, little Miss I Know Everything, I am only interested in helping you feel better. I knew what happened to you was wrong, and I understood your need to unwind. We were in the middle of midterms, and we had been cramming, and I needed a break too. I actually thought that if I had listened to you we would have been there together and nothing would have gone wrong.”
“You can’t blame yourself. I chose to go there.”
“Yes, you did, but you didn’t want to get taken advantage of.” He looked away suddenly, but she never took her eyes away from him. “Enough of this talk. I wanted to discuss an engagement party.”
“You still want to marry me? Even with all my doubts?”
He ran his hand down her face and cupped her chin. “I asked, didn’t I?” She nodded, and he grinned at her. “I knew all of this when I asked you and I didn’t care. You’re it for me, and I want you. Plus, we need to stop all this shacking up. I’m a Christian boy, and my mama wouldn’t like it that I’m taking you all over this house and we’re not married.”
As in true Livingston fashion, they had a house built for them as a gift. It was outside of the compound, which did not sit well with Rick, but Cassandra stressed the need for them to have privacy. Rick had no choice but to cave with both his wife and daughter pleading the case.
Whitney laughed hysterically and leaned her head against Jude’s neck. “Well, we wouldn’t want to ruin her image of her perfect little boy, although I can attest to the fact that he is not so little.” She ran her hand down and rested it on his growing bulge. “Definitely not a little boy.”
“All right,” he sighed and stood up, throwing her over his shoulder.
“Where are you taking me, caveman?”
“To that incredibly comfortable bed upstairs and then to Aunt Mia’s to get her help with our party. Is that okay?”
Whitney tried not to let her true feelings show and plastered on a big smile. “It sounds great. You know she plans the best events.” Jude had apparently missed the decline in her mood and proceeded up the stairs. It wasn’t that she didn’t want Mia’s help, she was just a little upset that she was the first person he thought of for anything. It just made her point more valid: he was her aunt’s favorite, not her.
Chapter Five
“You ready?” Terence called out into the office. As he walked farther inside, Tyree looked up, not bothering to hide his scowl. “What happened now?”
Terence took a seat in one of the vacant chairs. Tyree bounced his shoulders nervously, and Terence raised an eyebrow. “What’s got you so jumpy, Ty?”
Tyree had been going back and forth about how to feel about Richmond and everything going on regarding the baby mess. He had never felt so helpless in all his life. He had promised Mia things would be okay, but he wasn’t sure he could keep that promise. As much as he wanted to believe in his own words, he was beginning to lose hope, and worse, faith in himself. He only hoped Mia still had faith, because without it and with Richmond being back, things could quickly fall apart for them.
Mia had been so understanding through everything, and it made him feel worse. She was blaming herself for their issues, and he just couldn’t bring himself to believe he wasn’t the reason they weren’t able to conceive. He knew what the tests said, but he blamed himself. Maybe there was something he did while making love to her. Maybe he was too rough at times. He could never be too sure. Even with all that, the one thing that kept replaying in his mind was the constant avoidance from everyone regarding what happened to Mia.
It had been five years, and he still hadn’t figured out exactly what occurred in this so-called accident of hers. He was gone off looking for Kyan during the time it took place, and the only thing he could think of was that he had caused it before he left and no one wanted to make him feel guilty by sharing what it was. All he knew was that it was bad, and that made his guilt even worse. His sister seemed to be the one who knew the most about it. She was always so protective of Mia, and when he would bring it up, she would go into defense mode. Asha would clam up, and it would ultimately turn into a fight between them. Mia was no better.
The one time the subject of the accident was brought up, Mia started crying and got so hysterical he had to spend hours calming her down. By the time he was done comforting her, he had dropped the conversation, and he never brought it up again. He decided it was better to have her calm rather than to know whatever deep, dark secret she was holding. He was certain that if it was harmful to their family, his sister would have shared.
Tyree stood and walked over, pulling the door closed before starting his statement. “Every time Richmond shows his face or calls in with some bullshit, things get crazy for Mia and me. I just don’t need this, not right now.”
“What do you mean by not right now? Has something happened?”
Reclaiming his seat, Tyree crossed his arms over his chest. “Don’t think I’m a complete female for this . . .”
Feeling this way reminded Tyree of the first time he admitted he was a virgin. Considering that Terence had already lost his virginity to his little sister’s best friend, Deanna, he was the most experienced in the group. Deanna was a girl that Terence and Miguel, Tyree’s younger brother, both had a thing for, but Terence was the one who got the prize. His caramel skin, deep brown eyes, and blindingly innocent smile gained him access to the pleasure they had both dreamed about since they were kids. Tyree was every bit as attractive as Terence, but he just saw his first time going differently. He always thought Mia would be it for him. While Tyree was still holding his ground, waiting for the chance to make his first time meaningful, Miguel slept with Deanna, just to even the score. They were always competitive that way, at least until Terence started dating Asha.
Tyree was more accepting of their relationship, giving them his blessing after a while, but Miguel was way overprotective. He challenged their relationship at every turn until he finally saw the way Terence looked
at her. There was no lust, no undressing her with his eyes like he usually did with women. All he saw was love. Pure, deep, and innocent love. He had never seen Terence like that with anyone and was convinced, giving them his blessing.
Terence laughed at the look on his face, drawing Tyree’s mind back to the present dilemma. “Do I really want to know what you’re thinking? I swear sometimes the stuff that comes out of your mouth surprises even me, and I’ve known you my entire life.”
“It’s not like that,” Tyree sighed. “I just wanted to say, well, I’m just jealous. There I said it. I’m jealous of you.”
“Jealous of me, why? I mean, you have a great company, a beautiful wife, and a son who loves you both. You have every . . .” Terence paused, undoubtedly realizing what was going on. “The baby thing? You’re upset that you guys haven’t been able to conceive?”
Hating admitting his shortcomings, Tyree just nodded and ran his hand over his face. “I hate feeling this way, and you know I love my nephew. I just wish it could have been us. I know you love him too, but you weren’t trying, and Mia wants this so bad. I just feel like I keep letting her down.”
“She loves you, and I’m sure she doesn’t blame you. It will happen, I’m sure. When you had Ky, you weren’t trying, so maybe you just need to take the pressure off and have fun with it.”
“It’s always fun, you know that, but maybe you’re right. I should just stop obsessing.”
“Yeah. Now, can we get to lunch? I’m starving.”
“Yes. Let’s just go over to Mia’s office and let her know we’re leaving.” They had a deep conversation on the way to the elevator, only stopping when they reached the door.
Walking into the office, the guys found both of their women laughing loudly at something on Mia’s computer. When they saw the two men entering, they tried to hush it up but were too late. Terence was already on alert. “What’s funny, ladies?”
Mia pushed the laptop back and walked around the desk, throwing her arms around a confused Tyree. Although Mia was draped around him, Tyree still found a way to break free and made his way to the computer. When he saw what had them laughing, he almost fell over, and the room was filled with laughter. Terence still looked puzzled and walked over to see what was so funny for himself.
“Really, guys?” he questioned with a playful grin present on his face. While he tried to keep up an angry front, they all continued to snicker. “Is it really that funny?”
“Of course it is,” Mia voiced, taking a break from her laughing spell. They were watching a video of Terence singing to Asha at their wedding. He wasn’t the best singer, but his hand gestures made the performance more memorable.
“Oh, you’re just mad because you never got it. It’s not my fault Tyree wasn’t original enough to serenade you at either of your weddings. As a matter of fact, you should feel cheated.”
Tyree turned and glared at Terence, no longer finding the situation funny. “T, you ready for lunch or what?”
“Oh, changing the subject, are we? What’s wrong, Ty? Can’t take the heat?”
“I just don’t feel like you pointing out that Mia was lucky enough to marry a smooth brother like myself, twice, is fair when Asha only got to marry your corny ass.”
Terence’s eyes bucked, and he stepped forward, ready to fire off another cheap shot, when Asha stepped between them, ending the conversation. “All right, boys, where were you headed before all this?”
Tyree chuckled at their silliness and raised his hand in surrender. “We were about to tell you ladies we were headed out for lunch, but my baby is looking so good right now, I want to know if she’s free to join us.” Asha cleared her throat and waved her hand in frustration. “Oh, yeah, you too, sis.”
“Well, thanks for that gracious invite,” Asha hissed.
“It’s all love, sweetie, I swear.” Tyree walked over and pulled her into his arms. “You know I got mad love for you, sis, but that’s baby right there. She distracts me so easily.”
“Okay, let’s get something to eat. Are you free, baby?” Terence ran his hand through Asha’s curly tresses, and she offered him a giddy smile.
“Yes, I’m free and starving. Gina’s?”
“No!” Mia and Tyree yelled at the same time.
“What’s wrong with Gina’s?” Terence questioned.
“That gape-mouthed wench always flirts with Ty,” Mia snarled. “I don’t have the stomach to watch her fawning all over my husband today.”
“Come on, guys, Gina has the best fried chicken,” Asha whined.
“Fine,” Mia conceded. “But if she touches his ass, I’m kicking that prosthetic hip of hers.”
“That’s elderly abuse, Mimi,” Asha chuckled. “You know Gina is on the other side of sixty.”
“Well, she had better behave herself then.”
Terence and Asha walked out ahead of Mia and Tyree, and Tyree held Mia back. “We need to eat fast and get out of there. I set up an appointment with a new ob-gyn. Maybe we might get some different answers.”
“Tyree,” Mia sighed, “we’ve been through this.”
“I know we have, but you did it alone. I’m going with you this time.”
“What if the answers are the same, Tyree?”
“Then we will start asking different questions. I’m here for you.”
Tyree grabbed her hand and led her to the elevator where his sister and best friend were waiting, and she leaned her head on his shoulder. He felt relaxed because he felt as if he had reassured her.
Chapter Six
Returning from lunch and her appointment, Mia found herself submerged in work. She had the files on a project in Montenegro lying in front of her when she looked up to find Rick leaning in her doorway. He offered her a lazy smile, and she waved him over. “Hey, big brother. What are you doing here?”
“I just wanted to check in on you.”
“I’m all right.” She smiled. “You’re my favorite brother, you know that, right?”
He ran his hand over the top of her head, and she huffed at him, adjusting the hair he moved out of place. “I’m your only brother.”
“Don’t let Miguel hear you say that,” she laughed. “Sit down. Tell me how semiretired life is. We never got to discuss how your latest trip to Paris was.”
“It was incredible. We saw so much more than we were able to when we were visiting you.”
“I know. All the times I tried to convince you to stay longer, you always had the excuse about the business. I told you it was unbelievable. Tell me, how did you enjoy my villa?”
“I didn’t know you had done so much to the place. We really enjoyed ourselves. Thanks for letting us use it.”
“I was happy to. There is no telling when I will be able to go back, and it just doesn’t seem right taking Tyree there when Jake and I shared most of our relationship in that house. It would just seem like a slap in the face if you ask me.” At the mention of her ex, Jake, Rick’s eyes drifted downward, and Mia noticed instantly. “What is it?”
Leaning back in his seat, Rick cleared his throat and locked eyes with her. “Cassie and I saw Jake.”
She swallowed hard. She wasn’t sure if she should ask about him or ignore the comment. She and Tyree just didn’t discuss him. They pretended like he didn’t exist, but she still thought about him. He had been her friend and lover when Tyree was gone. He had protected her and made her feel loved. She wondered if his life was as happy as hers. She wanted that for him. “How was he?”
“He seemed happy.”
“That’s good.” She smiled, feeling relieved. She had always worried if she had ruined him for other women by leaving him for Tyree.
“He asked about you and wished you well.”
“You don’t know how happy that makes me. Was he alone?” Rick’s eyes bucked, and she rushed to clarify herself. “No, it’s not like that. I just want him happy. I hoped he would find someone there.”
“He wasn’t alone. He was with a guy: tall, ski
nny, with dark hair and blue eyes. You know him?”
“His brother, Vincent. He’s a little off.”
“How so?”
“He kind of creeped me out. I always got a bad feeling about him, but Jake always made excuses. He said he was always a magnet for trouble, but he was trying to turn his life around. He was embarrassed because of the way Vincent was.”
“Well, it’s good you no longer have to see him. Anyways, how is my nephew?”
“He is great, getting smarter every day, and he misses his uncle Rick and crazy aunt Cassie.”
They went on with their conversation for over thirty minutes, and at the end of it, Rick prompted her to get everyone together for dinner later in the evening. She made the necessary phone calls, gaining acceptances from everyone except Miguel, while Rick headed home to inform Cassandra of their plans. She left Miguel a message she was sure he would receive, and then she decided to head home to prepare for the evening.
No one knew what was going on with Miguel, but he hadn’t been his usual exuberant, fun self. It was as if everything over the years was hitting him all at once, especially what happened to Janelle. No one knew as well as Mia how much Miguel really loved her sister.
Mia hadn’t told a soul, but just before Janelle died, she could tell something was off with her. She wasn’t acting like herself and had been speaking vaguely about life and death. It was weird to Mia. She had never known Janelle to be anything but carefree and fun. The girl she saw in Janelle’s last days was nothing like the baby sister she had grown to know.
Neither Miguel nor Janelle knew that Mia was present when they were talking, and she didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but they were in the foyer, and the conversation was clearly audible. Mia heard when Janelle admitted her love for Miguel, and she saw when he froze just before Janelle ran away. Janelle had offered him a nervous smile before retreating up the stairs and into her room. Just as Mia was about to follow, she heard Miguel speak. It was low at first, and she wasn’t even sure she heard him right until he repeated it. He had mumbled that he loved her too. The next day she was gone.
