Trevor called, “Callie, you up?”
She sank back against her pillow. “More or less.”
The thudding of his boots on the stairs was a comforting sound. She’d never lived with anyone, but small things like that had become not only normal for her, but welcome.
When he came to her bedside, she opened her eyes.
He set a large cup of coffee on the nightstand and held out a hand.
Pushing herself up, she asked, “What?”
“Ibuprofen in case you have a headache. Gatorade.” He put a bottle next to the coffee. Pointing, he added, “And your morning fix.”
Taking the coffee, she said, “I thought it wasn’t cool for addicts to make jokes like that.”
He sat on the edge of the bed. “Shh. Don’t tell.”
After a sip of coffee, which was heavenly, she said, “Thanks for this. About yesterday…”
“I told you, I’m sorry. I’m not mad about Hannah.”
She clenched her jaw before speaking. “I didn’t do anything worthy of you being pissed off at me. I meant last night. When I didn’t want you to come in.”
“What about it?”
“It’s something we need to discuss, don’t you think? If we’re a couple, does that mean I have to live a life of sobriety, too? It’s not a big deal, but sometimes I like a glass of wine when I’m out.”
“I see no reason why you can’t do that.”
“But what if that triggers you?”
“Then I’ll go to a meeting. I know how to handle this. You don’t have to treat me like I might fall apart.”
She scooted farther up in bed and set her cup back down. “This is big, Trevor. It’s not like before. If you fuck up this time, the kids will be ruined. Diane will be here to snatch them up in a minute.”
“Where is all of this coming from?” His voice was soft, his eyes filled with concern.
Callie knew that look. She’d seen it on his face numerous times—when Lisa had separated from him, when she’d said she wanted a divorce. It was a look of despair, like he was losing everything.
“I’m worried. I was on the sidelines during your recovery, but Lisa talked to me a lot. I don’t know how she lasted as long as she did. She had this never-ending hope that you would fix yourself.”
“I did.”
“After it was too late.”
He got off the bed. “I know.”
“I’m not Lisa.”
Rubbing a hand over his short hair, he said, “I don’t want you to be. I don’t need you to be.”
“What I mean is, I’m not as strong as she was. I won’t keep giving you chances. I can’t ride that roller coaster.”
“Are you saying you want this to be done? You’re not even going to give us a shot?”
She swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood in front of him. “No. I’m saying that you need to be sure. Your whole life has changed. Right after Lisa died, I thought you might start drinking again. I watched and I waited. I lived with the fear that if you drank, I’d lose the only family I have left.”
“I wish I could tell you that I’ll never drink again. I’d love nothing more than to give you that reassurance. But it would be a lie. That’s not how addiction works. I have a support system, and I know what to do if I feel like I might relapse. It’s something I have to live with for the rest of my life. You were right last night. I don’t know if kissing you would’ve triggered something in me. I hadn’t considered it because I’ve surrounded myself with sober people.” He stepped close and touched her hand, not quite holding it. “If you can’t sign on for that, I get it.”
He walked away but paused at the top of the stairs. Looking over his shoulder, he said, “But before you decide, think about why. If you’re doing it because you’re afraid, keep in mind that we’re all afraid, Callie. You talk about flying to the other side of the planet, and that freaks me out. Not knowing where you are or if you’re safe. But I wouldn’t want to lose out on us because of that fear.”
Then his boots were clomping down the steps again. Only this time, instead of comforting, the sound left her feeling at a loss.
She didn’t want to give up on them. She believed they had a chance to have something amazing. But she was afraid. If being with her risked his sobriety, she’d never be able to live with herself. Returning to bed, she finished her coffee and took the ibuprofen Trevor had brought her.
With the exception of last night, she hadn’t had a drink since before Lisa’s death. She hadn’t missed it. Why was she so worried about not drinking?
She knew the reason. It was the lack of freedom. She didn’t like having choices taken from her. It was instinct for her to rebel. She was old enough that the need to rebel should’ve been exhausted. She’d been living her life on her terms for decades. Maybe she didn’t know how to compromise.
Or maybe she just didn’t really want to.
Rolling over, she closed her eyes and went back to sleep. Life was simpler in her dreams, where she and Trevor shared a bed without any disruptions from the real world.
…
Trevor didn’t know how he’d been suckered into hosting a barbecue for the Fourth of July. He’d never been much of a party host. Okay, maybe in his twenties when it was all about getting drunk and all he had to do was buy a keg and some bags of chips.
But this year, Tess and Evelyn had decided to make it a family outing, and they suggested his house. When he’d mentioned it to Callie, she’d practically jumped in excitement, so he couldn’t say no. So here they were—Tess and Miles and her kids, Callie and his kids, and Evelyn and Owen—sitting in his backyard, snacking on watermelon, and playing Frisbee and bags. It was everything Lisa had imagined when she’d bought the patio furniture. It didn’t seem fair that he was living the life she’d always wanted.
Trevor had already gone a round with water guns and the kids, so he took off his shirt and leaned back on a towel in the grass. Maybe if he closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep, everyone would leave him alone. He couldn’t focus with Callie running around in shorts and a tank top. Her clothes weren’t skimpy, but he kept picturing her naked. Maybe because he hadn’t seen her so in about a week.
He didn’t know where they stood, but he couldn’t help but think that alcohol had cost him another woman. Even with his eyes closed, he felt a shadow pass over him. Squinting behind his sunglasses, he watched as Callie plopped down next to him.
She nudged his leg with hers. “I know you’re not asleep.”
“How?”
“Your body isn’t relaxed.”
Pushing his glasses up, he gave her a once-over. “You’re too much of a distraction for me to relax.”
“Why, thank you, Mr. Booth. You do have a way with words.”
“I have a way with other things as well.”
“Such promises.”
“Let me come over tonight and I’ll deliver on those promises.”
“Okay.” She slid lazily down until she was lying next to him.
“Did you say okay?”
“Yep.”
“Just like that?” He rose up on an elbow and turned to look at her face. “What about everything you said the other day?”
“About drinking?” She lifted a shoulder. “There are things I enjoy a lot more than a glass of wine. Many of them involve you being naked. So if I have to pick, I choose you.”
Her declaration was a little silly, but his heart suddenly filled his whole chest. “I’ll be sure to make it up to you.”
“You better,” she said. “I also expect to tell Hannah and Evan soon. Sneaking around was a rush when I was a teen. No so much anymore.”
“I get it. We’ll tell them soon. I promise.” He lay back down with the back of his hand brushing hers. Not quite the touch he wanted, but he could wait until tonight.
After a few minutes, Tess gave up on the beanbag game and sat down on his other side. “What’s going on with Evelyn and Owen?”
“Huh?” Trevor asked.
<
br /> “Evelyn and Owen. Don’t you see it?”
“Oh, yeah,” Callie said. “There’s some hotness simmering there.”
Trevor sat up and looked to where Evelyn and Owen stood side by side at the bags platform. “What are you talking about? They’re just talking.”
“Yeah, like I talk with Miles or you talk with Callie.”
Heat rose on his neck and into his face, and Trevor was grateful for the blazing sun. “They’re friends.”
“Please tell me you aren’t that dense,” Callie said.
“What are you seeing?”
She sat up, putting her shoulder to shoulder with him, the soft skin of her arm warm against his. “Look. Right there.” She pointed to where Owen brushed Evelyn’s hair back from her face. “If we were watching a movie, we’d all expect the long-awaited kiss right about now.”
“I don’t get it.”
Callie sighed.
Tess touched his arm. “Would you move Callie’s hair like that?”
He shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Bullshit,” Callie answered. “You’ve actually done it.”
In his defense, her hair was soft and silky, and he liked to touch it. But he wasn’t about to admit that now. “Okay.”
Tess said, “But would you make the same move on me?”
He looked at his friend. “I don’t know.” Now they’d put the idea in his head, so he thought about it. While he and Tess were close, there had never been anything other than friendship between them. They hugged on occasion, but in general, he wouldn’t be standing close enough to play with her hair.
He turned back to Owen and Evelyn, who had slipped her arm around Owen’s elbow as she laughed after he threw a beanbag and missed by a mile. “Point taken. But if they’re not addressing it, they probably don’t want you guys talking about them.”
“You’re no fun,” Callie said.
“Tell me about it,” Tess added. “He’s such a grumpy Gus most of the time. I will admit, though, that since you’ve been back in his life, he’s had a sunnier disposition.”
“Christ. That’s my cue to leave this chick talk.” He walked away from Tess and Callie. “Time for me to start the grill.”
He turned the grill on and went into the kitchen to get the meat. While he should be happy that Tess and Callie got along, it made him nervous. They each knew him from different points in his life. Seen him at various levels of his worst—because every time he didn’t think things could get worse, they did. Callie was the first woman he’d introduced to his group of friends, but he wasn’t sure he was ready for her to be comparing notes.
It made him glad that Nina had a party to manage for a client. She’d be all over his relationship with Callie. And he was sure she’d have input about Owen and Evelyn. The women in his life were too nosy.
He pulled the steaks and chicken from the fridge and seasoned them. The back door opened, and Callie came in. She slid her sunglasses to the top of her head, pushing her hair back in the process. Setting her camera on the counter, she smiled as she neared and rose up to kiss him.
It was a quick kiss, but he loved the naturalness of it. Like she belonged right here with him.
When she backed away, he asked, “What’s with the camera?”
“I’m just snapping some shots.”
He’d watched her throughout the party. Her camera was like an extension of her body. It amazed him that she could do that, take pictures like a job, but still interact, converse, and make friends.
She picked up the camera and turned the screen so he could see it. Pressing a button, she scrolled and pictures flashed on the small screen. It was like watching a movie of their day.
“This is my favorite.” She stopped and handed him the camera.
It was a picture of him with Evan and Hannah. They had ganged up on him with their water guns to soak him. Callie had captured the looks of pure joy on their faces. Even his.
“Can I get a copy of that?”
“Sure.” She took the camera back and set it on the counter.
“The only thing missing in that picture is you.”
“I was taking it. Some other time I’ll insert myself into a family photo.” She pointed at the food he’d taken out. “What can I help with?”
“Make the salad and see what we have for vegetables. I think Tess brought corn on the cob.”
Callie moved around the kitchen as if it were her own. He suddenly wondered if she would feel weird living here, like he’d worried when he first moved in. It had been Lisa’s house, and while he felt like he’d more or less made it his own, he hadn’t considered what he and Callie would do. What about when their relationship progressed? Would she be willing to move in here?
Fuck. He hated having to worry about every little freaking thing. He went back outside and put the meat on the grill. Moments later, Tess walked past him saying something about helping Callie.
Callie joined him at the grill, handing him a can of pop. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” he said, a little rougher than he’d wanted.
“That was totally believable. Want to try again?”
He sighed and shook his head to clear it. “I was just thinking about us and this damn house. Where do we go as a couple?”
“What are you asking?”
“At some point, we’ll live together. Where does that happen?”
“Whoa.” She raised her hands and took a step back. “Moving a little fast there, don’t you think? You haven’t even told the kids about us.”
“Just thinking ahead.”
“Borrowing trouble.”
“What?”
She came close again and held his hand. “You’re worrying about something that isn’t happening yet.”
“But—”
“But what? We’re not in a position to talk about living together. We’re still figuring out how to be a couple. Let’s just enjoy that.”
He looked at her smiling face and decided that she had a pretty good plan. He spent a lot of time worrying about things—things that might happen, things he had no control over, things that scared the shit out of him. Maybe she could teach him how to step back and just enjoy, because that was something that Callie was really good at.
Trevor had fun hosting a party in his backyard. Most of his closest friends spent the day. His kids laughed and had fun. Callie and Tess had formed a friendship. By the time night had fallen and everyone was exhausted, Trevor told Tess to leave with her family. She offered to stay and help clean up, but he insisted he could handle it.
Callie went inside to wash dishes with Evan, and he and Hannah tackled the mess in the backyard. Through the screen door, he heard Callie’s laughter, and it made him smile.
Hannah scooped up the beanbags and shoved them into a plastic container. “Callie makes you happy.”
The remark caught him off guard. “She’s a good friend.”
“Yeah, right.”
He stopped gathering cups and glasses to take inside. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Dad, do you really think we don’t know?”
“Know what?”
She groaned and rolled her eyes. “That you wait until we’re in our rooms so you can sneak over to Callie’s house to spend the night?”
He froze. He had thought they didn’t know. He’d tried to shield them. Being caught now, though, he decided to take it head-on. “Okay. You’re nosier than I thought. How do you feel about it?”
“About you and Callie? It’s awesome.”
He sighed. This was what he’d been afraid of. “It’s still really new. We’re figuring things out. So don’t…” He didn’t know where to go with that. Don’t what? Get your hopes up? Think it’s going to be forever? He’d been cautious, but part of him had already bypassed all of that. He was falling hard for her. The only thing that held him back was his fear that it wouldn’t last.
“Don’t what? Plan the wedding?” She burst out laughing. “That might kill Ca
llie.”
Hmm. Hannah thought Callie would be the problem in moving their relationship forward. “Does Evan know about us, too?”
“Of course. We’re not blind. Anyone with half a brain can see it. Every time you guys look at each other, you’re all googly-eyed.” She set the tub of bags down. “You think you’re being sneaky touching each other and holding hands, but you’re not that good.”
That would teach him to try to hide things from his kids. He should’ve known better. For her entire life, Hannah had always managed to figure out where they’d hidden birthday and Christmas presents. The girl was like a bloodhound once she caught a scent.
“I’m not making a big deal about it. I just wanted you to know that we know.” Then she turned and finished cleaning up the games.
Trevor carried the glasses into the kitchen and put them in the dishwasher. Callie had the rest of the dishes done and was wiping down the counter. “Where’s Evan?”
“Went upstairs to talk to his girlfriend.”
“I just had an interesting conversation with Hannah.”
Callie tossed the sponge in the sink. “Whatever it was, I didn’t do it.”
He chuckled. “She let me know that we’re not as sneaky as we think we are. She knows I’ve been spending the night at your place.”
“Yeah?” she asked with hesitation.
“Yeah. She’s good with us being together. She sees you make me happy.”
A smile brightened Callie’s face. “I’ve been known to have that effect on people.”
He moved in and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close. “How about I walk you home?”
“Will you spend the night? Like all night?”
“I could probably arrange that.” He kissed her then, taking a small taste because he couldn’t do what he really wanted to here in the kitchen.
From the side of them, he heard, “Gross,” and the same time from behind he heard, “Just because we know it happens doesn’t mean we want to see that.”
He and Callie separated and looked at the kids. “Time for bed.”
Evan groaned. “Nothing I want to think about my dad doing.”
“I meant you. See you in the morning.”
“Good night,” Hannah said. She gave him and Callie a hug.
My Best Friend's Ex (Daring Divorcees) Page 17
