by Amber Garza
“What?” Adam’s eyes narrow.
“I thought you were dating Sloane, so what are you doing here with her?”
The girl shifts uncomfortably, frowning. “Um…” She scratches her head. “I’m gonna take off. See you later, Adam.” As she shoves past me, she wears a disgusted look.
I feel like an ass. My anger is directed at Adam, not her. I shouldn’t have made her feel like that.
“What’s your problem, man?” Adam asks. He holds a paper cup in his hand and a small brown paper bag in between his fingers.
“My problem is that I don’t want you messing with Sloane.”
“I’m not. Claire’s just a friend.”
“A friend that you’re taking to coffee the morning after a date with Sloane?”
An incredulous look passes over his features. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m not on a date. I just happened to run into Claire here.”
“It is my business. Sloane’s my best friend, and I won’t let you hurt her.”
Adam’s face softens. “I’m not going to hurt her, Cruz. I promise. I really like her.”
It’s not what I’m expecting him to say. And I can see in his eyes that he’s telling the truth. Honestly, it should make me happy. It’s what I wanted, right? I wanted to make sure he was going to treat her right. But it doesn’t make me happy. It makes me feel sick.
“Well, you better not.” I puff out my chest. “Because if you do, you’re gonna have to answer to me.”
“What is this really about, Cruz?”
I’m startled by his words. “I told you what it was about. I’m just protecting Sloane.”
“You had to know you wouldn’t have her all to yourself forever.” Adam gives me a knowing look. “Shouldn’t have waited so long to make your move.”
I feel naked, exposed. How has he read me so well? “W-what are you talking about?” I sputter. “She’s my friend. That’s all.”
He slaps me on the back. “Perfect. Then we’re good.”
“Yeah, we’re good.” I swallow hard, bitterness coating my throat. My order is called, and I snatch it off the counter. The three coffees are nestled in a cardboard travel container, and the pastries fill a small bag.
“I’ll see you at the next practice.” He eyes my hands. “When you bring Sloane breakfast, tell her I said hi.” The tone of his voice and the funny look in his eyes turns my stomach. Am I really that transparent?
This time when I knock on Sloane’s door she answers right away. As I suspected, her face is flushed, her hair sweaty. She’s wearing gym shorts and a t-shirt. Her running shoes are discarded near the front door, and sock lines cover her bare feet.
“I bring sustenance.” I hold up her coffee and the bag of pastries. I already dropped off my mom’s before coming over here.
“Hmmm.” Sloane smiles, reaching for the coffee and bag of pastries. “You’re the best.”
I try not to read too much into that statement as I head inside her house. By the time we reach the kitchen, Sloane is already tearing into a blueberry muffin. A few crumbs dribble from her chin as she takes a big bite of the pastry. She yanks out the donut and hands it to me. “I believe this is yours.”
“You know it.” I grab it, and take a bite.
Sloane sets her coffee and pastry on the counter, bending over them. “I was starving.”
“I figured you would be after your run.” I nudge her in the side.
“Always so considerate.” She smiles before picking up her coffee and taking a sip.
“How did your run go?”
“Good.” She nods. “You should’ve joined me.”
“Nah. I was too busy picking you up breakfast.”
“Chicken shit.” She winks. “You’re just too scared because you know you can’t keep up.”
“Oh, I can keep up all right,” I say, even though I know that she’s right. She can outrun me any day. Not that I’ll admit it to her. It would ruin this whole competitive thing we have going.
“Sure.” She takes another large bite of her muffin. After swallowing, she spins around and then hops up on the counter. Her parents hate when she does this, but she’s always preferred sitting on top of the counter rather than at the table. Her legs dangle from the counter as she picks up her coffee, bringing it to her lips and taking a sip. She’s wearing tiny shorts, and they ride up her thighs exposing her pale legs. By sitting on the counter, her legs are level with my arms and it takes all my willpower not to reach out and touch them. Instead, I slide farther down the counter and focus on my breakfast.
“So, what do you want to do today?” Sloane asks, pleasantly surprising me.
“You’re not going out with Mr. Quarterback?”
“His name is Adam,” she corrects me. “And I don’t think so. I haven’t heard from him since we went out last night.”
I bite my lip, remembering how I just saw him at coffee. But I don’t mention it. Frankly, I don’t want to mention him at all.
“Wanna go to the lake?”
I’m tempted to say yes, but I’m not sure I can keep my thoughts or actions pure if she’s in her bikini. “Um…not today. Let’s do something else. Maybe a movie or something.”
“Nah. There’s no movie I want to see right now.” She drinks her coffee, her forehead a mess of squiggly lines as she thinks. Her eyes widen like she’s had an epiphany, and she lowers the cup. “Becca was telling me that there’s a new record store downtown, and it sounds just like a place you’d like. We should hit it up. Maybe you’ll find some music you like.”
God, she’s amazing. She always knows exactly the right thing to say, always thinking about me. Music isn’t really even her thing.
“Are you sure you want to do that?” I ask.
She nods. “Sure. You know I love it downtown. Besides, we can hit up some other stores too.”
“Sounds good.” I grin. “I’ll wait here while you shower and change.”
She narrows her eyes. “Are you saying I need to freshen up?”
What I want to say is, ‘No, you’re perfect just the way you are.’ But the words get lost in my mouth. Instead, I wink. “You said it, not me.”
Sloane giggles, sliding off the counter. “Fair enough. Be back in a few.”
And I know she will. Sloane can get ready faster than any girl I’ve ever met. It’s just one of the many things I love about her.
13
sloane
I awake to the buzzing of my cell phone. Rolling over in bed, I reach my arm out and grapple around the top of my nightstand. My fingers brush over a pen, a book, a hair tie. Finally they land on my phone. I snatch it up and bring it close to my face. My eyes are watery and tired, but I blink a few times as they adjust to the bright morning sunlight spilling in the windows.
Adam: I had fun the other night.
Smiling, I sit up in bed. I hadn’t heard from Adam in two days, and I was a little worried that maybe he didn’t want to go out with me again. My dark purple comforter bunches at my waist. Tucking my legs up to my chest, I rest the phone on my knees and type back.
Me: No problem. It was fun.
Adam: Next time I promise not to get all serious on you.
Me: So there’s going to be a next time?
Adam: Of course.
A text from Cruz comes in before I can respond.
Cruz: Can we hang out today or r u busy with Mr. Football Superstar?
I roll my eyes, and quickly respond.
Me: Yes, we can hang out.
Cruz: Cool.
Me: But only if you can be nice about Adam.
Cruz: Promise.
Me: OK.
Switching out of that conversation, I go back into the one I was having with Adam.
Me: I look forward to it.
Adam: What about today?
I groan, running a hand through my hair. If only I hadn’t already said I’d do something with Cruz. Biting my lip, I think fast. There’s got to be a way to make this work.
I jump back into my conversation with Cruz.
Me: Hey! Adam wants to hang out today. Maybe we can all do something together.
A minute passes and no response. That’s so unlike Cruz. I fling off my covers and slide out of my bed. My bare feet hit the carpet, and I pad over to the window. With my thumb and forefinger, I spread the blinds open. Cruz’s car is outside, so he’s home. I lean against the wall and text again.
Me: Cruz?
Cruz: It’s fine. Go out with him. I’ll do something else.
My stomach drops.
Adam: Sloane? U there?
Shit.
Me: Yeah. I’m here.
Adam: What do you say?
Me: OK. Let’s hang out today.
Adam: Great. I’ll be by to pick you up in an hour.
Dropping the phone onto my bed, I sigh. As I glance back out the window, my gaze scours the front yard. Memories of Cruz linger everywhere. All the games of hide n’ seek and soccer, the chalk drawings we made on the sidewalk, the endless hours of riding our bikes down the street. As I peer up at his window directly across from mine, my stomach churns. We’ve never been like this before. The distance grows like a chasm between us, like an invisible line dividing our properties. One wrong move and I fear it will swallow me whole.
Leaving the window, I maneuver around the bed. The carpet rubs softly against the pads of my feet as I walk to my dresser. Framed pictures of Cruz and I line the top of the dresser. I pick up my favorite one, running my fingertips over the glass.
“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” I said to Cruz as I put on my lifejacket. Pulling on the straps, I cinched it as tight as it would go. I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to breathe, but I didn’t care. The fear of drowning trumped anything right now. I was always pretty tough, but not when it came to stuff like this. Too many things could go wrong. I had a very healthy fear of nature, especially river currents and ocean waves. Two things I knew could kill me in an instant, and I’d be unable to do anything to save myself. I was having serious doubts about this tiny lifejacket’s ability to save me too, but I had no other choice but to trust it.
“You’ll be fine.” Cruz slapped me on the back. “And when we’re finished, you’ll be begging to go again.”
“I highly doubt that.”
“Hey.” Cruz stepped in front of me, his eyes meeting mine. “You trust me, right?”
“Of course. It’s the river currents I don’t trust.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
Behind us I could hear the rest of our river rafting group assembling. Over Cruz’s shoulder I could make out the raft we were going to be boarding any minute. The rush of the river was loud in my ears. Water foamed at the shore. My stomach clenched.
Tapping my foot nervously, I smiled. “Yes, I trust you.”
“I’d never let anything happen to you, Sloane.” He touched my shoulder.
“I know.” I nodded firmly, needing to believe him.
“Hey, you two. Turn around so I can snap your picture.” A man with a camera came up to us.
With a wistful smile, I set down the picture of Cruz and me standing by the river in our bright orange lifejackets. Turns out, Cruz was right. I did have a blast river rafting, and we’ve gone several times since. I’ve always trusted Cruz. He’s been the one constant I can count on in my life. My biggest supporter, the person who is there for me no matter what. My heart sinks remembering his last text. I hate that things are changing between us. For one second I contemplate canceling on Adam and heading over to Cruz’s to make things right.
Then my mind wanders back to the other night. Adam was so vulnerable and open with me. So different than I ever thought he’d be. And I like him. A lot. Cruz is my best friend. He has been almost my whole life. We can work this out, I’m certain of it. I’ve been by his side through girlfriends and breakups and crushes. Surely he can do the same for me.
Decision made, I race across the hall to the bathroom. I need to jump in the shower and get ready fast. Adam will be here in less than an hour.
Adam takes me to the movies. It’s some action flick I’m not that interested in. But Adam was dying to see it, so I didn’t have the heart to tell him no. Besides, it’s not like he’d want to watch some chick flick with me. I mean, Cruz does it, but only because he has to. It’s sort of a best friend policy or something. But I know he hates them.
Truthfully, though, today’s not that bad because Adam and I share a tub of popcorn, and every once in awhile our fingers touch. Frankly, I’m not focusing on the movie anyway. I’m fixated on Adam’s proximity. On the way he smells like mint and cologne. On the way his fingers feel against mine, all rough and calloused.
Toward the end of the movie there is a horribly graphic fight scene. As blood spurts across the screen and a man’s head is severed from his body, I let out a tiny squeal and bury my head in Adam’s shoulder. His arm comes around me, holding me close. At this moment I’m glad he chose this movie. In fact, I think I will insist on these kind of movies on all my dates in the future. If only I’d taken advantage of my weak stomach earlier in the film, I could’ve spent the entire flick with my head nestled against Adam, his arm securely fastened around me.
Much to my chagrin, the film ends a few minutes later. When the credits start to roll, I force my head up. Adam drops his arm, disappointing me further.
“So, what did you think?” Adam asks as we wait for the other moviegoers to clear out so we can leave the aisle.
“It was…” I search for the right words.
“You hated it, huh?”
“I didn’t hate it exactly.” Feet pound down the stairs as people file out of the theatre. Adam and I stay seated, the empty popcorn tub at my feet.
“I guess I should’ve let you pick the movie.” He smiles.
“No, it’s fine.” I wave away his words.
“I’m used to the girls I date being super pushy about what we watch. I think this is the first time I’ve watched a movie I wanted to see with a date. Usually I have to sit through a chick flick.”
I could see Lauren being pretty demanding with him about what movie to watch.
“It was good,” I lie. “I liked it.”
“You’re pretty damn cool, Sloane Martin.” He grins, slinging an arm over the seat.
My heart skips a beat at his words. The theatre is almost all the way cleared out and a man with a broom and dustpan walks around sweeping up popcorn kernels. I stand, reaching for the popcorn tub.
“I got it.” Adam leans down, picking it up.
“Thanks.” I smile, thinking how Cruz has been worried for no reason. Adam is the perfect gentleman.
My feet stick to the ground as I head down the stairs and out of the theatre. The lobby is loud and crowded. People stand in lines at the concession stands and kids run around squealing in front of the theatre showing the latest cartoon movie. Adam’s hand closes around mine as we make our way to the glass doors. His fingers thread through mine. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a few girls standing in a cluster near the bathrooms. They are whispering and staring in my direction. When I turn my head, I recognize them as some of the cheerleaders. Holding my head high, I avert my gaze. I can’t help feeling a little smug. I mean, those girls have never been nice to me. And I can tell by the look on their faces that they never expected to see me on a date with Adam Stewart. As Adam pushes the door open and we walk out into the bright sunlight, I’m struck once again by how shocking this all is. I still can’t get over how crazy it is that I’m dating Adam. I wonder if I ever will.
Hand in hand we walk toward the parking lot. We pass a coffee shop, and the scent of coffee beans is overwhelming. I glance over at the patrons sitting outside sipping on their oversized mugs. A young attractive woman sits back in her chair lifting a cup to her lips. My gaze flickers to the man sitting across from her, and my breath hitches in my throat. I freeze, the air leaving me. Dizziness sweeps over me and my knees buckle.
&n
bsp; Adam squeezes my hand. “You okay?”
I nod and start walking again. Faster this time. I have to get the hell out of here before he sees me. My strides are clipped, my feet clicking on the pavement as I hurry forward. Adam trails me, his hand still tucked in mine.
“Sloane, what’s going on?”
I contemplate telling him, but I just can’t. I don’t even know how to formulate the words. They get lodged in my throat, sour and awful tasting, lingering at the back of my throat, poisoning my mouth.
“Nothing.” I attempt to sound cheery, normal. Not like a girl who is on the verge of losing it.
“You sure?”
“Yeah.” I fake a laugh. “I guess the movie just spooked me a little. I have an active imagination.”
His brows furrow, and I worry that I made up the wrong excuse. Will he think I’m crazy now? But then his face evens out and he smiles. “Okay, point taken. Next time we’ll see something a little less gory.” He moves closer, his hand brushing my shoulder. “Although I kind of liked it when you got squeamish.”
I bite my lip, my insides coiling. Not only did he admit that he liked holding me, but he pretty much asked me out again. If I wasn’t so worried about what I saw, I would be on cloud nine right now. I want to be in the present; to savor my time with Adam. But all I can think about right now is how much I need my best friend.
14
cruz
I’m surprised when she shows up at my house. A part of me is ecstatic that she’s here instead of out with Adam, but the other part is still angry with her for choosing him over me earlier. The angry part wins out. “I thought you were out with Adam today.” I open the door and step outside. By the look on her face, I can tell she’s bothered by the fact that I don’t let her in.
“I was.” Her tone is soft, unsure.
“Then what are you doing here?” I rest my back against the side of the house, bending one leg and shoving a hand down into the pocket of my jeans.
“I needed to see you.” Her voice cracks, breaking me apart a little.
