Fortunately it hadn't been too late. The emergency had been controlled and the baby delivered safely. But what little confidence Ann had seemed to have disappeared. Jenny could almost sympathise.
Jenny rang the sister in antenatal to enquire how Ann was doing.
'Ann? She's very willing,' said the sister. 'She'll do anything I ask her. What she won't do is what I don't ask her. She never uses her initiative; she's frightened that she's made a mistake in even the simplest of observations. She repeats them over and over and the mums tend to get a bit annoyed with her, which makes her worse. And she keeps running to me to ask me to check what she's doing.'
'Is there anything at all she's good at? Any way we could praise her?'
There was a moment's silence. 'It's not too much but there is one thing. She's formed quite a good relationship with one of the mums. Apparently they went to the same school, knew each other vaguely. The mum's been in a long time with placenta praevia grade four. We're watching her for a bleed. She used to be a trouble to us but now Ann has quietened her down, made her much happier. More ready to rest. And that's been very useful.'
'It's a start,' said Jenny. 'If it's all right with you, I'll come onto the ward and have a word with her. Tell her she's doing well with this case and can she do the same for any of the other mums?'
'Worth a try. We're short of midwives. So I'll see you later?'
'Don't tell Ann that I'm coming,' said Jenny.
She replaced the phone and thought about the girl. As tutor it was part of her job to try to bring the best out in each of her students, to make sure they passed. But she also had a duty to make sure that no one got a qualification to be a midwife unless they deserved it.
Jenny decided she'd have to see more of Ann. But there was hope.
By the middle of the afternoon her back was starting to ache. It did sometimes, usually when she had spent too long sitting at her desk. Almost automatically her hands went to the arms of her wheelchair.
Then she realised what she had been about to do. Stand up on tiptoe, reach her arms up into the air. Stretch her cramped muscles and make the blood flow again. It was what she used to do when she had been studying for too long. But now she couldn't. Her legs were paralysed. Her previously broken arm was still weak.
It wasn't a feeling she was proud of, but suddenly Jenny felt very sorry for herself.
Someone knocked on her door. Jenny sighed, she could have done with a few more minutes without company. But, still, whoever it was might take her mind off her miseries.
'Come in,' she shouted.
'Jenny Carson?' A tall sunburned man with tired eyes came through the door. For a moment Jenny remembered how sunburned Mike had been when she'd first met him. And Mike was tall... What was she thinking of?
'Yes, that's me,' she said. 'May I help you?'
'I think you already have. More than I can thank you for. I'm Harry Morris. I'm Sue's husband and Sam's dad.'
'You're not expected until the end of the week!'
He laughed. 'I got home early. In fact, I arrived late last night.'
'I'm sorry, that was a stupid thing to say. Please, come in. I was just going to have a coffee. Do you want one? If you're looking for Mike, I'm afraid he's away at a clinic. And have a seat.'
Jenny was aware she was rambling, but Harry's arrival had been the last thing she had been expecting.
Harry sat, said he'd like a black coffee. 'It doesn't matter about Mike, I'll catch up with him later. I'm still a bit jet-lagged, we'll probably have a long session when I feel more myself.'
He paused and looked at Jenny. 'In fact, I came to see you. Sue told me about the accident to you and Sam only this morning. It came as a bit of a shock, and then I learned that I was going to be a father a second time. Twice in our married life she's kept something from me.' Then his face softened. 'What am I saying? I know she did it for me. And Sam is perfectly all right.'
'He's a lovely little boy,' said Jenny.
'He is. You saved his life. And because of that you're in a wheelchair.'
It was easy to see that Harry was a soldier. He had a military way of bearing himself, his face remained calm, his voice tended to be clipped. He obviously didn't like to show emotion. But as he spoke Jenny could tell how deeply he felt.
'Look, I was there,' she said. 'I would have done the same for any child. And I've got rather fond of Sam.'
He nodded. 'But you've still been hurt. When Sue told me this morning I knew I had to come to see you at once to thank you. If ever there's any way I can help you, any way at all—please, ask.'
'I will,' she said.
For a moment both drank their coffee. Then Harry said, 'I hear you're getting to know my brother-in-law quite well.'
It took Jenny a moment to realise that he meant Mike. 'I think the accepted expression these days is that we're an item,' she said. 'I like him quite a lot.' Then she went slightly red under Harry's steady scrutiny.
'I'm indebted to him too,' Harry said. 'He introduced me to Sue. You know we are good friends from way back? We were at medical school together, climbed together in the Lake District.'
Jenny was interested, she hadn't realised that. 'What was he like as a young man?'
Harry laughed. 'Much the same as he is today, I suspect. He sees what he wants and goes for it. And he likes to cut corners—got into trouble for that at medical school. Said he was there to learn how to look after the sick, not fill in forms.'
Jenny nodded. 'He still hates unnecessary paperwork.'
'As students we had to take it in turns to organise seminars. Introduce a subject and then discuss it. We'd sit in the common room, drink coffee and carry on for hours. When it was Mike's turn to lead the seminar he made us all stand in the middle of the room. Said he believed that decisions could be made in a quarter of the time if there was no coffee and no sitting down. And he was right.'
Jenny laughed. 'I couldn't imagine a working life without coffee.'
'He may have mellowed a bit that way,' said Harry, and stood. 'Now, I'll leave you to your work. I just had to see you after I heard about you and Sam. Be coming to dinner soon, won't you?'
'I'd like that,' said Jenny.
He bent, kissed her gently on the cheek. 'I know Sue's said it, but I'll say it too,' he said. 'Welcome to the family. Now I'll be off.'
Jenny sat in silence for a minute when he had gone, and thought. It was rather a convoluted thought. But if she was married to Mike she'd have a sister-in-law who she very much liked—Sue. And now a brother-in-law who she thought she'd like just as much—Harry. A ready-made family. That would be nice.
She was in her office later that afternoon when her phone rang. It was Mike.
'I'm in the consulting room, about to perform a foetal blood sampling,' he said. 'Got a slightly worrying CTG here so I want to check the baby's pH levels. I wondered if you'd like to bring one of your students along. She could watch and you could talk her through what I'm doing. I'll be a bit busy myself.'
'Great idea. I've got a group in the postnatal ward, I'll fetch one.'
And it would mean she could watch Mike at work. She liked that.
Mike had already discussed the situation with the mother before Jenny arrived with her student. He had got the mother's permission for the student to observe. He had explained what he was going to do and told the mother that in no way could her baby be harmed. And he had had the mother placed in the left lateral position.
The mother smiled wanly as Jenny and the student came in. 'Hope you can learn something,' she said.
'He's using an amnioscope with a light source fitted,' Jenny whispered. 'The cervix is now dilated so he can pass it through and actually touch the baby's head.'
She heard Mike grunt with satisfaction and then he waved the student over to him. 'Look through here,' he said. 'Jenny will tell you what you're seeing.'
The student peered, then scampered back to Jenny's side.
'He's going to take a tiny sample of
the baby's blood,' Jenny went on. 'He'll clean the scalp and put a touch of silicone jelly on it. That will make sure that the blood forms a globule—which will be easier to collect.'
'Won't the baby start bleeding?'
'There'll be one stab at the scalp with a guarded blade. Then the blood is collected in a collection tube and a swab pressed over the wound. Usually the bleeding stops pretty quickly.'
'And all that done through that tiny tube?'
'You have to have delicate fingers,' said Jenny.
The blood was collected, tested at once. The pH was well within acceptable range, no great need to worry.
Mike told the mother that all was well, turned and winked at Jenny and her student. 'I'll be down to see you in a couple of minutes,' he told Jenny.
Jenny took the hint. She took the student outside, explained again what had happened and then went back to her own room. She was pleased that Mike took his responsibilities as a teacher quite seriously. Too many senior medical staff tended to ignore the needs of student midwives.
'A job well done,' Mike said a little later as he accepted a coffee. 'A negative result, which is what we want. It's good to feel competent at your job, isn't it?'
'It's also good to be modest about it,' she pointed out.
'Very possibly. Now, do you feel relaxed? Feel at peace with the world? Feel in a giving mood?' She looked at him suspiciously. 'I don't think I do. I think you're plotting, you're about to make demands. Don't you just want to take me home?'
'Later I do, certainly. But yesterday, on the way back from the clinic, I passed that posh little precinct. I thought I'd have a look round. There's a shop just opened that specialises in unit furniture. There was some shelving there that I thought might do for the flat. Other stuff as well. I'd value your advice.'
She was still suspicious. Certainly she had been encouraging him to look around for more furniture for the flat, but why was he interested now? When he adopted this, completely innocent expression she wondered if he had some ulterior plan in mind. Still... perhaps she was being unduly sceptical.
'All right, let's go,' she said.
She had been wrong. There was a shop, there was some interesting shelving there and they spent a happy half-hour picking out a style that they liked. They walked out of the shop with a catalogue and a firm intention to work out exactly how much shelving they needed.
He was fiddling with something on his wrist. 'This watchstrap is breaking,' he mumbled as they moved back to where he'd parked the car. 'I need to get it fixed. Let's see if they'll do it here while we wait.' They were passing a jewellery shop.
So they went inside and he handed over the watch. 'Can you fit me another strap just like that?'
'It'll be ten minutes, sir.'
'May as well look round while we're waiting,' Mike said to her. 'Now, these are engagement rings.'
'Mike Donovan! Of all the two-faced, cheating, brazen... you're the worst! You got me in here to look at engagement rings!'
His face could not have been more innocent. 'Me? Why would I do that? All I need is a watchstrap. But since we're here, let's look.'
She couldn't help it. She wheeled herself nearer the counter and looked at the display he had pointed out.
'Would you say you are a diamond girl? Solitaire or cluster? Or a ruby, or an emerald? I like that one—do you?'
She was hypnotised by them. The bright lights, the dark velvet setting, drew her to them. She knew she was an unusual woman. She'd never been much interested in jewellery. But somehow... these were different.
'That ruby looks good to me,' he murmured.
Well, yes, it did. But...
'It's all right. But I think something green. What about the emerald?'
There were three rings for them to look at, to consider and compare. And then she saw it. It was unusual, a jade heart surrounded by tiny diamonds. And as she looked at it, she knew she wanted it.
'Look at that, Mike! It's absolutely stunning.'
'So it is. And the green would match your eyes, sweetheart. Shall I ask him to get it out so you can try it on? Just to look, of course.'
At that moment the jeweller returned with the new watchstrap. 'Is there anything you'd like to see, madam?'
She had to speak quickly. 'Nothing at all, thank you, and we have to go now. I'll see you outside, Mike.' And she wheeled herself out of the shop.
Mike joined her a minute later. 'That was a bit low,' she said.
He raised his eyebrows. 'Just passing the time,' he said, and waved his wrist at her. 'Got a nice new strap for my watch. Did you like that ring?'
'Yes, I did like that ring. I loved it. And never mind your watchstrap! Mike, let's get one thing straight. If you suddenly turn up with that ring and say let's get engaged, I will be seriously annoyed. And under no circumstance will I ever wear it! Everything is on hold until we're clearer about my condition.'
He was not a man who could easily hide his emotions. She could tell he was upset.
'But you know I still love you,' she said. 'I love you more than anyone or anything I've ever loved. Isn't that enough?'
'More than enough,' he said.
It was time for her visit to see Mr Spenser. She'd seen him last a month ago, then a fortnight before that.
'We'll just see how things go,' he had said. 'Nature and time are the best healers. So we'll give them both a chance. Now, has there been any extension of feeling—any movement at all?'
'Not really,' she had said. And though he had tried to conceal it, she had known that he had been disappointed.
Now Mike wanted to come with her.
'You can drive me there and drive me back, Mike,' she said, 'but things aren't as desperate as the first time I saw him. Then I really needed you. But now I can manage. I think I can manage better than you can. And if I feel you getting upset, that makes me worse.'
She saw the pain on his face but he said, 'I guess I know what you mean. You're good to me, Jenny.'
Before she saw Mr Spenser there were the X-rays, CT and MRI scans, all the aids that science could give him to work out a diagnosis. Then she went to his rooms.
As before, there was a lengthy examination. His eyes flicked from examining her back to the X-rays and other scans which were illuminated on the wall. He prodded at her legs and back, asked her a variety of questions, about her general health, her diet, how she was dealing with work, how she coped with any depression. Then he sat opposite her and stared at her.
'Has there been any progress?' she asked him directly.
Slowly he shook his head. 'Not as much as I had hoped, there's not been enough change. I had hoped that the natural processes might have built up sufficient strength by now but... they haven't. However, you seem to have coped with the... change in your circumstances very well. You've got a positive attitude to life.'
'Not always,' she said, and he nodded.
'You're human, not superhuman,' he said. 'You're entitled to feel sorry for yourself from time to time.'
'So I ought to look forward to a life in a wheelchair?'
'I wouldn't put things quite as starkly as that. We still have some time, things might improve. But... I had hoped...'
He picked up her case notes. 'I'd like your permission to take all the details of your case down to London,' he said. 'There's an American professor coming over for a neurological conference, his area of expertise covers your injury.'
He looked at her over his glasses. 'We're not looking for anything special, you understand. Just that looking at your notes might interest him. Might help us extend the boundaries of medical knowledge a little.'
'I'm happy to do that. Happy to help anyone in the same condition as myself.'
'Good.' Mr Spenser rose, shook her hand. 'Don't forget, any new symptoms, any change at all in your condition, phone my secretary at once. Don't try to get out of the wheelchair. And I'll see you again in a month.'
'Right. Thank you, Mr Spenser.'
It had gone as she'
d expected.
Mike was waiting for her outside. He saw her set face, must have recognised her mood. So he bent to kiss her on the cheek and asked, 'No special news?'
'No news at all. Things are as they were before, as we expected. My legs are still paralysed, I'm in a wheelchair, we just have to wait and see if things improve. But they won't.'
He said nothing, just took her hand and held it.
'I don't want to go straight back to my room,' she said, 'to say hello to people and tell them that there's nothing to report. Just for once I'm tired of being brave. Mike, push me over there.'
The hospital grounds were quite extensive. There were large stretches of lawn, occasional thickets of bushes and trees. For once she just didn't want to wheel herself, and kept her hands in her lap as Mike pushed her towards the little stand of trees she had indicated.
There was a bench there, he sat on it and eased her so she was by his side. And when he put an arm around her, her tears started to flow.
'Everyone is so good to me,' she sobbed. 'And then there's you, and I know things could get worse. But sometimes I feel terrified. And I feel alone.'
'You're not alone! Jenny, you've got me.'
'I know that. Without you I couldn't have coped. But I guess I'm frightened. And the nearer I get to having no hope—the more frightened I get.'
'There's no need to be. You know, whatever happens, I will never leave you. And there's always hope.'
'Just hold me,' she said.
So he put his arms around her. She could feel the warmth of his body and it comforted her. After a while she took out a handkerchief, rubbed at her face.
'I'm sorry,' she said. 'I shouldn't get depressed in front of you like this, I know it only upsets you.'
He was indignant. 'Of course you can lean on me! And I can deal with any upset.' Then he went on, 'Of course, you could have a legal right to upset me. I could stand up and promise to look after you—in sickness and in health. Or is this a poor time to bring up the subject?'
She had to smile. 'It is a poor time. But knowing that you want to keeps me warm inside and keeps me alive.'
Then she spoke in a stronger voice. 'We'd better get back. We're both needed at work.'
A Very Special Midwife Page 12
