GOODBYE to YESTERDAY

by Wanda E. Brunstetter

  “That sounds nice. I’ll fix some hot chocolate for us to enjoy as we watch for falling stars.”

  “Sounds good to me. Would you like me to help?”

  “No, that’s all right, I can manage.” Meredith motioned to the wooden bench that Luke had made last summer. “Just take a seat and relax. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  “Okay.” When Meredith went inside, Luke set the lantern on a small table, took a seat, and pulled the collar of his jacket up around his neck. It might be a clear night, but it sure was chilly. Maybe I oughta go inside and get a blanket we can wrap up in, he thought.

  Luke was almost to the door when it opened suddenly and Meredith handed him a small quilt. “Thought we’d probably need this,” she said, smiling at him.

  “Guess we’re thinking alike‘cause I was about to come inside and get one myself.”

  “I’ll be back with the hot chocolate soon.”

  When she disappeared into the house, Luke took a seat and stared up at the sky. Ever since he was a boy he’d enjoyed watching the stars. It was fun to look for the Big Dipper and all of the other constellations. The night sky was beautiful with the bright moon and billions of twinkling stars.

  Luke was also captivated seeing airplanes whiz across the sky. If he was looking in the right spot, occasionally he’d see a satellite move silently across the night sky. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be up in the sky like that, looking down at the earth, he thought.

  Early on in their courtship, Luke had told Meredith how interested he was in flying and how he’d often wished he was a bird. He’d laughed when Meredith said she was keeping both of her feet on the ground, where they belonged. Luke knew he’d probably never get the opportunity to fly because taking trips by plane wasn’t allowed in their Amish community. But it gave him something to daydream about.

  Interrupting Luke’s musings, Meredith reappeared, this time carrying a tray with two mugs of hot chocolate.

  “Oh, good, I see you didn’t forget the marshmallows,” Luke said, grinning at her.

  “Of course not. I know how much you love marshmallows.” Meredith set the tray on the table and handed Luke a mug. Then she wrapped her fingers around the second mug as she sat down beside him. “I heated the milk extra hot, so you’d better sip it slowly at first,” she cautioned.

  He placed the quilt across both of their laps. “Are you warm enough, Merrie?”

  “I’m fine. The hot chocolate will help warm our insides, too.”

  They sat in quiet camaraderie, drinking their hot chocolate and watching the stars, as a hoot owl serenaded them from one of the trees in their yard.

  Meredith giggled.

  “What’s so funny?” Luke asked, blowing at the steam rising from his mug.

  “You have melted marshmallow right there.” Meredith pointed to his upper lip.

  Luke laughed and swiped his tongue over the sweet-tasting foam.

  “I probably have some marshmallow on my face, too.” Meredith snickered and licked her lips. “Wow, the stars are so vivid tonight,” she said, pointing above. “Oh, look—there’s a falling star, Luke.”

  “I’m not superstitious, but I’ve heard it said that a falling star is a sign of good luck and that seeing one means something good’s about to happen.”

  “We need something good to happen, all right,” Meredith said.

  “Guess we’d better not stay out here too much longer, though. I’ll need to pack in the morning so I’m ready to go when my driver comes in the afternoon to take me to Lancaster to catch the bus.” Luke reached into his pants pocket and pulled out his gold pocket watch. “Die zeit fer ins bett is nau.”

  Meredith sighed. “I don’t want it to be time to go to bed yet. Just a little while longer, Luke. I’m not quite ready for the night to end.”

  “I know. I’d like nothin’ more than to sit out here with you, watching the stars clear into the wee hours of the morning, but unfortunately, it’s not an option. Not if I want to be awake and fully functioning in the morning.”

  “Could we sit for a few more minutes?” she asked.

  “Jah, okay, but just a few.” Luke was excited about his new venture, but he felt a bit edgy about things, just as his wife probably did. Tomorrow was a new beginning, but they’d also be saying goodbye. Even just a temporary separation made the situation that much harder for him.

  “Mom said she invited you to stay with them while I’m gone,” Luke said as Meredith snuggled closer. “Do you think you should take her up on that offer?”

  Meredith shook her head. “I’ll be fine here by myself, Luke. I’ll have the pup, and I don’t want you to worry about me, okay?”

  He nuzzled her neck with his cold nose. “I won’t, if you promise not to worry about me.”

  She gave no reply.

  “Merrie, do you promise?”

  “I’ll try not to worry,” she finally said. “I’m going to try and do as your mamm suggested and put my trust in the Lord.”

  He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Now that’s the kind of talk I like to hear from my fraa.”

  They sat awhile longer, reminiscing about their courting days. Although tonight was special, being on the porch in the quietness of the dark, it was hard not to think about what tomorrow would bring. It was strange, but Luke felt the same sense of loneliness as he imagined the hooting owl must be feeling—listening and waiting for an answer from its mate.

  CHAPTER 5

  Meredith sighed as she put the of Luke’s clothes in his suitcase and closed the lid. She wished he wasn’t leaving for Indiana. She wished she could talk him out of going. But all the wishing in the world wouldn’t change a thing, and it was pointless to keep dwelling on it.

  Wiping sweaty hands down the front of her dress, she moved over to the bedroom window. The once-clear morning sky had turned gray, with thickening clouds, a heavy mist, and temperatures hovering near freezing, which could easily cause the roads to ice up. It appeared, from what she’d read in this morning’s newspaper, to be the leading edge of a storm front—perhaps a major one. Why today, of all days, when Luke would be traveling, did the weather have to turn sour? This only fueled Meredith’s anxiety over him leaving. Yesterday’s weather was most likely the “calm before the storm.”

  Dear Lord, please keep Luke safe, she prayed. Let this trip be the right decision for our future.

  “What are you thinkin’ about, Merrie? You looked like you were a million miles away,” Luke said, stepping up behind Meredith and slipping his arms around her waist.

  “Oh, I was just thinking how much I’m going to miss you,” she admitted, leaning back into his warm embrace and resting her head on his shoulder.

  “I’m gonna miss you, too, but I’ll be back before you know it.”

  Not wanting him to know how anxious she felt, she turned and smiled when he kissed the side of her face. “I know it won’t be long, and I don’t want you to worry about me while you’re gone.”

  “I won’t‘cause my folks, as well as yours, will be checking up on you, and knowing that gives me comfort. Seth also said if you need anything to let him know. Oh, and don’t worry about the bad wedder, either,” he said, moving away from the window and lifting his suitcase from the bed, “because I’m sure it won’t cause any problems for the bus.”

  Meredith gave a nod, knowing it would do no good to say anything more to Luke about the weather. She couldn’t control or change it, so it was going to do whatever it did anyway. She’d just have to pray for the best, take each day as it came, and try not to worry.

  Commit each day to the Lord, she reminded herself. And trust Him in all things.

  “Do you want me to pack you something to eat for the trip in case you get hungry?” Meredith asked as she followed Luke down the stairs. “How about I make up some ham and cheese sandwiches, and if you like, I could put in a couple of those Red Delicious apples we got at the market last week.”

  “I appreciate the offer, but af
ter that big breakfast you fixed me this morning, and then the hearty chicken soup and homemade bread we had for lunch, I doubt that I’ll feel hungerich for the rest of the day.”

  Meredith gave his stomach a gentle poke. “You might be full right now, but I’m sure it won’t last for your entire trip. My guess is you’ll be hungry before you reach Philadelphia.”

  “Well, if I do get hungry, I can buy a little somethin’ to eat in Philadelphia or one of the other stops along the way.” He wiggled his eyebrows playfully. “Besides, I’m so excited about this trip that I’m not even thinkin’ about food. I just want to get there, learn all I can from Uncle Amos, and get back home to my beautiful fraa as soon as possible.”

  Meredith’s cheeks warmed. She blushed way too easily—especially when Luke complimented her looks.

  Just then, a horn tooted from outside. Luke went to the living-room window and looked out. “My driver’s here, Merrie. It’s time to go.”

  Meredith, wishing for a little more time with Luke, blinked against the tears threatening to escape. She wouldn’t give in to them, though—at least not until after Luke had gone.

  Luke pulled her into his arms and gave her a gentle kiss; then he picked up his suitcase and opened the door. “I did one more check around the house and didn’t see anything that might cause you any problems,” he said. “Oh, that big tree out back has a few limbs that should be taken off. They’re hanging over the top of Fritz’s pen, but the tree is good and healthy, and the branches aren’t dead, so they should be fine till I come home. When I get back, I’ll take care of trimming those branches.” Luke hesitated, reaching out to gently rub Meredith’s arm. “Well, it’s now or never—I’ve gotta go.”

  Meredith forced a smile. Luke’s concern for her needs made her cherish him all the more. Draping a shawl over her shoulders, she followed him onto the porch. “Don’t forget to call me when you get there,” she said, swallowing against the lump in her throat.

  “I will, and remember—don’t worry.” Luke gave her one final hug and started across the yard.

  Woof! Woof! Fritz raced back and forth, bumping his snout against the chain-link fence of his kennel. Woof! Woof! Woof!

  That poor pup doesn’t want to see his master go any more than I do, Meredith thought.

  Luke stopped then walked over to the kennel. Reaching his hand through the fencing, he squatted down to bid farewell to his faithful friend. “It’s okay, boy. I wasn’t gonna leave without tellin’ you goodbye,” he said, giving Fritz’s head a couple of pats. “Take good care of Meredith while I’m gone, and I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.”

  Who says dogs aren’t smart? That dog of ours sure is. Meredith smiled, despite the impending tears. Watching the way Fritz was acting, anyone could tell that he sensed Luke was leaving.

  The dog continued to bark and jump at the fence as Luke turned and approached his driver’s car. Just before he opened the car door, Luke looked back one more time and waved at Meredith. “Don’t worry, Merrie. It’ll all work out!”

  She placed one hand against her stomach, while waving with the other, as the car drove away from the house. It took all her willpower not to run after Luke and beg him to stay. She stood watching as the vehicle pulled out onto the road and disappeared into the frigid mist. As she remained on the porch, looking at the spot where Luke had stood only moments ago, the fog moved in, enveloping her in its chilling mist.

  Meredith wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet, but then, would she ever have been ready for that? A forlorn feeling overwhelmed her, and as if walking in wet cement, her feet dragged toward the empty house.

  Inside, the silence from her husband’s absence nearly consumed her. It seemed as dreary and lonely in the house as it was outside with the cold, foggy mist. Grabbing the small quilt folded neatly on the couch, Meredith wrapped herself in it and went to the rocker. All she wanted to do was blot out the hollowness that penetrated her soul, seeping in little by little, surrounding her like a cocoon. It was silly to feel this way, but saying goodbye to Luke had been even more difficult than she’d imagined.

  Pushing back the despair with a feeling of anticipation, Meredith thought about the new life she hoped was growing within her. She wondered once more if she should have told Luke her suspicions about carrying his child. Well, it was too late now; he was gone. If it was true, he’d learn about it once he got home. It was news that could only be shared with him face-to-face—not over the phone after he arrived at his uncle’s place. Oh, how she wished Luke could be with her tomorrow when she saw the midwife.

  Come on now, snap out of it, Meredith told herself, drying her eyes and swallowing past the lump in her throat. I’m a doer, and I’m going to get through this all right. She had known beforehand that the parting would be difficult, but now that Luke was gone, she needed to move forward and look ahead. She rubbed her hand over the front of her dress. If she was pregnant, the baby would be the link holding her close to Luke, and it would help get her through the long days until his return. Not only that, the preparations for a new baby would keep her busy. She was ambitious and organized and couldn’t wait to get started once her pregnancy had been confirmed. If her calculations were correct, she was about three months along.

  Meredith was excited about the prospect of being a mother. She wasn’t nervous like some women were when expecting their first child. After all, she and her sister Laurie had lots of practice helping their mother when their younger brothers and sisters were born.

  Meredith smiled in eagerness, knowing that when Luke returned they’d quite possibly have two things to celebrate—his new business venture and the news that she was carrying their first child.

  Norristown, Pennsylvania

  Staring out the window as the bus pulled out of Norristown, Luke felt as dismal as the foggy mist that seemed to envelop everything around them. At least so far the roads hadn’t been icy. After hearing a few of the passengers talk about the weather, Luke knew they were headed toward the center of the storm as it came in from the west. Although the weather had been calm yesterday, it had changed overnight. But even now, it wasn’t nearly as bad as the meteorologists predicted it would be.

  Fidgeting on the cushioned seat to find a more comfortable position, Luke leaned in toward the window and thought about his beautiful wife. He regretted the stressful days he and Meredith had spent arguing about unimportant things and felt guilty for not letting her get the paint for the spare bedroom. What would it have hurt? After all, a few cans of paint wouldn’t cost that much. Not even as much as his bus ticket had. Painting the room would have given Meredith something to do while he was gone and would have helped the time pass more quickly. Luke knew how she loved doing little projects that improved their home.

  When I call Meredith after I get to Uncle Amos’s place, I’m gonna tell her to go ahead and buy that paint, Luke decided. I’m sure she’ll be pleased about it, and since I’ll be making money again soon, we can surely afford a few cans of paint.

  Philadelphia

  Alex Mitchell was on the run. He was hungry, cold, and in desperate need of a fix.

  Crouched in an alley near the bus station, Alex peered around the Dumpster he’d been hiding behind for the last twenty minutes. With the exception of a mangy-looking cat watching him from atop the Dumpster, there was no sign of anyone or anything out of the ordinary.

  Alex glared back at the cat, wondering how many more dirty critters like this there were in Philadelphia. He’d read in a newspaper not long ago that in the city of New York alone there were more than five hundred thousand stray cats. He figured there was close to that many here.

  Maybe I’ve ditched those creeps who’ve been after me, he thought, forgetting about the cat and taking another look up the alley. Better sit tight for a while longer, though, just in case they saw me run in here.

  Lately, it seemed all Alex did was look over his shoulder. He never forgot the day a certain drug dealer had said to him, “You’d better watch your ba
ck at all times,‘cause you never know who might be after you.”

  Who would have thought that Alex would end up on the run for what seemed like forever and a day? Alex could feel his body rebelling against the lifestyle he’d chosen, but he was powerless to do anything about it. The last time he’d looked in a mirror, he’d been shocked at the image looking back at him. Dark circles stood under his eyes, his cheeks were sunken, and his once-thick brown hair had thinned. He looked a lot older than his twenty-two years.

  Alex had developed a cough recently, too, and as had been happening for so many days, another round of spasms seized his chest. Each racking cough made it hard to catch his breath, and after a while, his lungs felt as if they would explode. He coughed so loud it even scared the cat. Watching the mangy animal dart up the alley, he clamped his hand over his mouth to try to stifle the sound. If he didn’t stop hacking soon, anyone looking for him would have no trouble knowing right where he was.

  As Alex sat on his haunches, the coughing finally subsided. He shivered from the penetrating cold as his mind traveled through his past. He dredged up old memories of hiding like this from his drunken dad and remembered how fearful he’d been of the beating that would come if his old man discovered where he was.

  Alex had shivered back then, too, but it wasn’t from the cold. He would hope, and sometimes even pray, that his so-called father would grow tired of looking for him and pass out from his drunkenness before finding and beating him with a thick leather belt. Sometimes Alex got his wish. When he didn’t, for days afterward he dealt with the pain of the stinging red welts left on his skin. His bum of a father needed someone to lash out at—especially after Mom ran off with some guy she’d met at the restaurant where she’d waited tables. Alex had only been ten years old when she’d split, and his older brother Steve was twelve. He had another older brother and two older sisters, as well, but as soon as they’d turned eighteen, they’d left, never to return.