“That’s why you didn’t want me to move when my ex—”
“I didn’t want you to move because I love you. You’re my best friend, my only real friend.” A shaky breath left their lips as they tried and failed to meet Emily’s steely gaze. “Emily, please. I swear, I never would have hurt you or Hannah. I know how much she means to you.”
“You said you would’ve had to kill her.”
Hannah had never heard Emily so full of rage.
They winced. “Fuck. If you two couldn’t get an apple, I was supposed to kill Hannah and take her place. She thought maybe I could convince them better.”
“You wouldn’t have my strength,” Hannah said, her voice hollow. Any satisfaction she’d found in this was gone.
“Maybe I was supposed to get your belt. I’m not really sure. She only let slip that if you couldn’t do this, I’d take your place. I think there was more to the plan, but she wouldn’t tell me anything when I asked.”
Emily let out a derisive snort. “She sounds so trustworthy. I can see why you’d betray me for her.”
Their eyes finally met. Alys gritted their teeth. “She’d sure as hell earned my loyalty. Just because you had people you could stay with, money, a phone, and all that when you got kicked out of your parents’ house doesn’t mean I had anything. I was homeless, living on the streets for weeks before she found me. She told me what I was, what I could do, and that she could help me. It took work, and I had to keep the form I hated when I was in public, but I could be anything I wanted after that. And I could take anything I wanted.”
“You never said—”
“Forgive me for not wanting to talk about…” They shook their head. “No. I’m sorry. Here I am feeling sorry for myself after everything I’ve done. I know our friendship was based on a lie, but I swear, it wasn’t a lie itself. You mean everything to me. I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you for years.” Tears fell on the carpet with a light patter. “I’m so sorry.”
“Alys—”
“You don’t have to say it. I know you can’t forgive me.”
“Emily.” Hannah stood, taking her free hand. “They didn’t hurt me. They haven’t done anything they can’t take back.” It felt strange being the one defending Alys, but she knew how important they were to Emily, and no matter how justified it was, she couldn’t let Emily throw that all away.
“They’ve lied to me for years.”
Alys jumped in. “I did. But I swear, I won’t do it again. Please, Emily, I promise. You don’t have to forgive me or even stay friends with me, but I swear, I won’t lie or hurt you again. I’ll turn against her. I’ll do anything you want. Please don’t leave.” Their lip quivered, and they turned away, ripping their hand free. “No. That’s too much to ask for. I’m sorry. I’ll figure something out. I’ll lie to Hel, say the Aesir killed you, whatever it takes.”
“It’s not like our sons were honest with us either,” Hannah said. “They sure seemed to know a lot more than they’ve said before, and what was that about Mjolnir finding me?”
“They haven’t had eight years to come clean,” Emily snapped, turning those ice-cold eyes on Hannah.
For a moment, Hannah couldn’t find her voice. She’d never seen Emily like this, and certainly not toward her. So that was what it felt like to be on the receiving end.
“Fuck,” Emily muttered. “I’m sorry. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Well, it sounds like Alys hasn’t had any real choices.”
Alys cleared their throat. “No. I have. I could’ve told you at any time, and I didn’t. I won’t pretend otherwise. Hel certainly didn’t want me to, but she wouldn’t want me betraying her now either, so that doesn’t justify anything. I should’ve told you years ago.”
“Can you really blame Alys for that loyalty?” This was new. Having to talk someone else down when they were angry. At least she knew all the tricks.
“I can’t forgive you.”
“I’m not asking for forgiveness,” Alys said.
“But I’m not willing to throw you out of my life, either.” Eyes softening, she turned back to Alys. “I can’t imagine what you’ve been through. You should’ve told me. And you should’ve told me what I was too. But I understand why you didn’t.”
Alys nodded, choking back sobs.
“I know how much our friendship must mean for you to be willing to turn against her.”
“It means everything.”
Emily sighed, starting to collapse back onto the couch but apparently changing her mind. “I need some time to process this. If you find anything out, tell me. I’ll talk to you soon, but I can’t be here right now. I promise, we’ll tell you if we learn anything more. We’ll…Right, I guess you’re not after that apple for yourself.”
“I’d still like it. I’d rather be immortal, especially if I’m turning against another god.”
“Fine.” Emily pulled Hannah toward the door. “We’ll talk later.”
“Bye,” Hannah offered.
“Bye,” Alys muttered back, falling into the recliner, tears falling anew. At least Emily was still going to talk to them.
Emily didn’t say a word as she drove back to the apartment. Once there, she broke down sobbing in Hannah’s arms. This was definitely not how Hannah had wanted the evening to go. She stroked Emily’s hair, offering comforting words and soft kisses on her forehead and temples. They’d make it through this, and with a bit of luck, Alys would too.
Chapter Eighteen
Alys stared at the credits on the screen. They couldn’t remember a single detail of that episode. Well, that wasn’t strictly true. They’d seen every episode of Doctor Who at least half a dozen times—maybe three for the classic series—barring the missing episodes, so they absolutely knew what happened, but they didn’t remember having just watched it.
Maybe if they stopped staring at their phone, things would be a little different.
They checked again to make sure. Still no messages from Emily.
For the dozenth, twentieth, fiftieth time, their thumb hovered over the call button. “Fuck.”
They slammed the back of their head against the excessively cushioned couch. It was so soft that it didn’t feel like hitting anything. They almost wished they were tall enough to hit the wall behind it. Well, they could be…
Shaking their head, Alys stared at the phone.
It had barely been an hour. There was no reason for Emily to call. Or forgive them.
They sighed, slumping. “What the fuck am I doing?” they shouted to the empty house. “I could’ve kept my cool. I didn’t have to come forth with the whole truth. I could’ve come around to their side without owning up to the whole thing.” While they were fairly certain they hadn’t literally turned into goo, they slid off the couch nonetheless, their knees hitting the coffee table. They didn’t bother to move.
“It’s not like I assumed she’d understand. I mean, I did. But I didn’t.” They’d hated lying to Emily so much, but it hadn’t stopped them from doing it. “Maybe I deserve this.”
The next episode started, though they could only kind of see it over their knees and the table. It wasn’t like it mattered. They started to hum along to the theme tune but trailed off after a few notes. They didn’t have the energy.
What could they even do? How could they earn her trust again?
Alys chewed their lip and idly watched David Tennant run. They could call Hannah. “No. Don’t be ridiculous. No matter how fine Emily might have been with my little crush, I don’t think either of them would take that well right now.”
No. If they wanted to do something about this, they’d have to go to the source.
They’d have to contact the other woman they couldn’t bring themself to reach out to. They’d even started sketching the runes earlier but had stopped. What would they even say? “Some double agent I am.”
They could try smoking something? If they made that brisket again, maybe Emily, or at least Hannah�
� Alys sighed, slumping farther until they flopped over their side on the floor. At least their carpet was soft. They rubbed their cheek on the gray frieze fibers. Maybe they could just sleep there?
With another sigh, they tried to bring themself to their feet, failed, and just lay there, staring at the parts of Freema Agyeman’s face that weren’t covered by the table. They were fine like this.
What felt like hours later but had probably only been a few minutes—though the credits were rolling, so that wasn’t a great sign—Alys sat up. Their cheeks were wet with tears, and they had to blink them away and rub their eyes. “I can hardly talk to her like this,” they muttered.
Finally standing, Alys willed their appearance to change. They watched the reflection in the glass coffee table as their hair turned a bright green while their cheeks dried, and their eyes lost their redness. They took a few breaths to steady themself. “You can do this. Come on.”
Groaning, they let out a nervous whistle. The next episode was a good one. Maybe they could…nope. They grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. They wouldn’t fall for that trap. They had to do this. They had to talk to Hel.
Their clothes were a mess. They should change, shouldn’t they?
A few minutes later, Alys stood nervously in front of the door, their new T-shirt and jeans seeming inadequate armor.
Using all their will, they grabbed the doorknob and stepped down the stairs. They could call Hel anywhere, but the runes and circle in the basement gave them hope that they wouldn’t be spied on after the call ended. They blew out a breath. If they were wrong, if Hel was able to watch them and had heard their betrayal…they traced the runes in the air before they had any further chance to second-guess themself.
They could do this.
“Loki?” the familiar voice asked. The imposing figure stood in the center of their basement, the decayed flesh looking more horrifying than ever. “I was not expecting you so soon. Things are progressing well, then?”
Alys nodded. They could work with that. They really should have figured out what they were going to say first. Even with all the years of improvised lying, they’d never had to actually come up with much. Not mentioning the goddess they occasionally talked to was surprisingly easy. “Yes. They’ve met with the gods. They went to Idavollr.”
“Good.” Half her face gave a warm smile. “Then you have it?”
“No.” They forced themself to stand still. They could do this. They just had to come up with a plausible story. “The gods want Hannah and Emily to prove themselves first.” Lying by telling the truth might have been all they tended to do, but it wasn’t all that useful when you were trying to be a double agent. “But it won’t be long. I’ve offered to help.”
“Hmm. So Thor couldn’t manage it? Perhaps I made him too soft?”
Alys had to fight with every fiber of their being not to narrow their eyes. What did that mean? That Hel hadn’t challenged Hannah enough or…They’d never quite allowed themself to wonder what all Hel had controlled.
“We may need to move on to alternative plans. She shouldn’t be difficult to replace.”
“No!” Alys’s gulped. They’d been far too quick to say that. “She’s useful.” They kept their tone neutral, but it wasn’t nearly enough to cover their enthusiasm. “We can dispose of her when the time is right, but I don’t have her strength. What if we need it?”
“I’m sure you’ll be able to fool them.”
“Modi and Magni already trust her.” Now was the chance. Should they take it? They hadn’t finished ensuring Hannah’s safety yet, but they also couldn’t look too interested in it, and this information might earn Emily’s forgiveness. “Baldur trusts them. Quite readily.”
“Of course.”
The answer gave nothing away. Alys needed to learn that skill. “But you told me that you brought Baldur back as one of Hannah’s friends. How is he there?”
Hel cocked her head. “Why should that matter? We’ll accomplish our task, and then you can finally be who you want. You won’t have to hide anymore. Is that not what you desire?”
“Of course. That’s all I want.” They already didn’t have to hide anymore. Not since Emily knew. Was that all Hel thought she had on them? Was that why they’d listened to her for so long, even when they knew they were hurting someone they loved? Just because Hel would eventually let them be themself. Alys felt disgusted with themself. They were even worse than the Christianized myths made Loki sound.
“Then be patient. Next time, I hope you’ll have more promising information. If not, we’ll move ahead with the plan and dispose of him.” The uneven smile, pulling away at the desiccated face, made the implication more than clear. Alys had given away too much. Hel knew they were protecting Hannah.
Chapter Nineteen
The next morning, Hannah headed to work. While, apparently, some people could ignore their schedule and not get fired, she definitely lacked that ability and was not willing to risk losing the internship, let alone the potential job offer it could lead to. Even if she could have all the money in Idavollr, being an accountant was still her dream.
The first three hours went by quickly; there had been some recent major expenditures she needed to document, and by the time she’d finished, it was almost lunch. She pushed her chair in, stretching for the ceiling lights and finding herself far too short. She hadn’t even noticed how much she’d hunched over her monitor.
Isabel nudged her. “I brought you lunch. I’ve seen you starve a few too many times for comfort.”
“I’m waiting on that first paycheck,” Hannah insisted. Not that she’d actually be able to afford food on that check, but she’d be slightly less broke. Emily had been struggling to cover everything. Modi and Magni needed to chip in already. They could look after their parents.
“Well, until then, I have leftover stir-fry.”
“I love you.”
“That’s what I thought.” Grinning, she held up a bag and gestured to the door. “I was hoping to eat outside if you want to join me.”
“Sure, I’d love to.” Hannah followed, finding a picnic table a few floors above the river. She stared out, lost in thought for a moment. The sight of the river really took her back.
“Earth to Hannah.”
More like Midgard. She managed to avoid chuckling at her own terrible joke. “Sorry, I have a lot of fond memories on this river. Let’s see the food.”
Isabel had already set out two plastic containers, each containing shrimp and broccoli stir-fry. “Ta-da!” Her cheeks dimpled, as she smiled while displaying her culinary creations. “I hope you like broccoli.”
“It looks delicious. A friend of mine is a vegan, so I got used to eating it with her.” The first time April had gone vegan, broccoli had been on sale, and she’d included it with almost every dish she made. Hannah had never been one to turn down April’s food, or apparently any other free food, as the current meal was showing. She’d have to ask Alys if that was a Thor thing.
“Well, I’m glad. Want to tell me about these memories? I mean about the Willamette. You were really zoning out there.”
Sitting, Hannah took a fork and had a bite. “Mmm. This is so good.” Why could everyone else she knew cook so well? Maybe her Thor genes were holding her back. “Back in college, freshman year, I was on crew, the rowing team. We did exercises on the river at least once a week.” Watching the water flow below them, she found herself drifting back in time. “I shouldn’t have quit, but mornings were really tough for me—I have no idea how I’m managing here—so I didn’t come back for the second year. But I really loved it. It got me in way better shape that I’ve managed to keep and taught me how to work out. Plus, it’s fun. Being on the water is great, and I love the feeling of my oar slicing through it, pulling me forward. If I get that job here, I’m gonna buy a kayak.”
“Well, the only other intern in our department got fired, so I think you’ll have it.”
“They could still decide not to hire m
e. I don’t want to make any assumptions. I know I should probably buy a car—”
“We get company cars.”
“What?” Her jaw dropped, but she breathed out a sigh of relief. It explained so much. “That’s why everyone drives Mercedes.”
She nodded.
“Huh.” She felt so much better about her broke ass. “I want a company car.”
“Well, stay for a year.”
“Can do.” Grinning, she took another bite. “I can’t wait. My girlfriend’s car is okay, but it’s definitely getting up there. It’ll be so nice having something, well, nice.” Probably not a good idea to take it to Ida…whatever, though. That would be hard to explain if it got damaged.
“I love it.” Isabel smiled, a bit of broccoli showing in her teeth.
Hannah pantomimed to demonstrate the food, and it took far longer than either of them liked to admit for the message to come across and the offending morsel to be taken care of.
“You starting to get used to it here?” Isabel asked as she leaned against the railing.
“I think so.”
“Any problems?”
Hannah shook her head. “Unless you can make us not have to start so early. Though I couldn’t borrow Emily’s car, then.”
“Her name’s Emily? You never said.”
“I didn’t?”
“Nope. You’ve always called her your girlfriend with me and they or your partner when we’re in the office.”
“Well, her name’s Emily. Emily Johnson. And she’s the best thing to ever happen to me.” Superpowers included.
“I’m happy for you two. I really should put myself back out there. Men are just kind of terrible.”
“Glad I don’t have to deal with that.” She chuckled and earned one in response.
“You’re lucky like that.” She glanced at her phone. “We should probably head back in. Want me to bring you food tomorrow?”
“Yes, please.” She felt bad relying on Isabel for this, but she had a bottomless stomach, and not having anything to eat at work each day had been killing her. One of the downsides of being Thor. They went back to work, crunching numbers and filling out spreadsheets, and made it through the rest of the day. It had been nice having time away from all the godly stuff, although she felt a bit bad about hiding it from her new friend, but she needed to deal with her older friends first.
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