Chapter 77 – Chained Up
The Whosey beat the Junes downstairs the next morning, whereupon he was surprised to find Nev, the dog, and the cat sitting in the kitchen, all waiting to be fed. In fact, all three were sitting on the floor, Nev in his boxers only, handcuffed to the two stout handles of the massive stainless steel refrigerator that was big enough to hold the entire carcass of a butchered steer, should the Junes so desire. The Whosey carefully circumvented Nev’s outstretched legs, and loaded up the $5000 Italian espresso machine with a fresh load of coffee. He wasn’t sure about protocol for guests in the June house, especially ones handcuffed to the refrigerator. He debated offering Nev a cup, and decided if the Junes felt malice towards Nev they would have shot him and buried him out in the garden. As they hadn’t done that, probably they wouldn’t mind him giving the guy a cuppa. From the way he looked, bloodshot eyes and all, he certainly could use it.
While the espresso machine hissed, he fed the dog and cat. He drew the line, though, at offering Nev some oatmeal, which is what he fixed for himself. He’d leave that important decision up to Gwen, who ruled these parts. When she entered the kitchen a few minutes later, in her Tshirt (only), both The Whosey and Nev thought the Glock in her hand seemed incongruous with her appearance. She said, “Morning, Pete. Morning, Nev.” She gave Pete a kiss, but not Nev, which added to his sense of inadequacy. Pete handed her a cappuccino, which she sipped as she looked at Nev. She noted the empty cup on the floor next to him. “Nice of you to offer him a coffee, Pete. He came to snatch you, you know.” Pete looked at her, not understanding. “He dropped by last night, late. His boss ordered him to kidnap you, which would have screwed up the production. Right, Nev?” Nev nodded, complacent. “We figured Stirg would try something like that, so Roger was ready.” And she nodded at Nev. “Now we have to figure out what to do with him for a few days.”
The Whosey looked at Nev differently now. He’d never been the target of a kidnapping before, by a former Nazi hunter and Israeli commando. Former commando. He’d had some women mad at him in the past, really pissed off, but nothing like this. He looked at Gwen for guidance.
“Did you feed the dog?” He nodded. “Cat?” He nodded again. “Him?” The Whosey shook his head, no. “What do you want for breakfast, Nev?”
During his tenure as commando, in this situation, he would have spit in the direction of the person who offered him anything. But now, he said, “Just some oatmeal, like him. That would be nice. A little milk on it, please.”
Roger came into the kitchen a few minutes later to find Nev eating the oatmeal with his free hand. “Good, isn’t it? Very healthy. I have oatmeal five mornings a week, with fruit, and then eggs and potatoes on weekends. Don’t want to overdo the health thing.” He looked at his wife and said, “Where do you want to keep him?”
“Depends. Do we keep him just through opening night, or through the whole two week stint of the production?”
Roger thought for a moment, while Nev sent out vibes trying to influence his thoughts. He really didn’t want to be chained to this refrigerator for two weeks. Any commando worth his salt could do it for two days, but two weeks, that was asking a lot. Roger said, “I think just through opening night. If we get through that, Stirg is going to realize he lost, and give up the idea of sabotaging the production. How’s that sound, Nev?”
Nev said, “More than fair, more than fair.”
Gwen said, “Where? Can’t keep him here, can we? Middle of the kitchen?”
“Well, if we had a basement, I’d say put him there. But houses in Charleston don’t have basements. And I don’t want him upstairs in any of the guestrooms, do you? He doesn’t really qualify as a guest, no offense, Nev.”
Gwen doesn’t look puzzled very often, but she struck The Whosey as being puzzled now. Where to keep the failed kidnapper? Where to keep him chained up for three days? She said, “Well, maybe here is the best place. We’re not planning on having any house guests over before opening night. And the dog and cat don’t seem afraid of him.
Roger said, “Ok, Nev. You got food right there. Stay out of the caviar on the bottom shelf. After opening night, you’re out of here. Deal?”
“Deal. Except one thing. Bathroom?”
Roger looked at Gwen. Gwen looked at Roger. Being inexperienced jailers, they had overlooked that essential. The Whosey was amused. How were the great Junes going to handle this one? Roger opened a knife drawer and took out the handcuff key. Gwen picked the Glock up from the counter and casually pointed it in Nev’s direction, while Roger unlocked the cuffs. He led Nev into the downstairs powder room and locked him to a stout pipe running along the baseboard. As he left he said, “Don’t miss.” Back in the kitchen he said to The Whosey, “Take him in two days of bread and water.”
The Lost Ballet Page 77
