by Ella Miles
She nods. She doesn’t call it cheating. We both chose our words carefully. Family means whatever it truly means to me, not the technical definition of the word. Family means Zeke and Langston.
“The ocean represents everything I lost,” she says.
I nod.
“I could never hate my father for not being strong enough to rescue me.”
I nod.
“I don’t even hate you…” her voice cracks. “Hatred requires me to feel anything toward you, and I don’t believe you are human enough for me to hate. You’re a beast who broke every promise and then sold me to a bigger monster.”
Her bottom lip trembles. “I hate the ocean because it took everything from me, and instead of letting me die and be free, it sent me back here to you.”
I should be kinder. I should feel empathy and let her go. I won’t, but I should.
“I lost,” she whispers while she holds her head high. Her lips purse and her icy cheeks pale.
“And now, you’re mine.”
15
Kai
I lost.
I won’t get my answers.
This was a one time deal; no way will Enzo give me this chance again to get the answers I seek. And now, because I was blinded by the need to understand why I endured punishment and pain for years, I’m his.
I traded one unknown master for this man.
I should be scared, terrified.
He could take me and sell me again. He could beat me, rape me, kill me. He could do whatever unthinkable things he wants with me, and I couldn’t stop him. Enzo could have taken those things anyway, whether I won the game or not. But he didn’t have to resort to that. I offered myself up willingly, all so I could win a bet. And now I’ve lost everything.
No, I didn’t have anything left to lose. That’s why I could offer up everything.
Enzo devours me with his hungry glare. My stomach aches, but not from the lack of food, but because of the lust that stirs inside me every time I’m around Enzo. It shouldn’t be there. I should hate him with every fiber of my being. Instead, my body longs to feel something, anything, even an ache for a monster.
Maybe it’s because he spared my life that I don’t feel the hatred I should feel towards him? Maybe deep down, despite how devastatingly difficult life was on that yacht, some part of me preferred to live rather than die. I just need to find that piece of myself again.
“Come,” Enzo says.
I consider fighting him, but as he stands and inches toward me, I know if I don’t follow his directions, he will grab me and force me to obey his orders. Something I’m used to. But not something I will allow anymore.
I stand up.
Enzo raises an eyebrow in surprise and then starts walking toward the back of the room. I follow slowly, wincing as my broken toes swell with each step. He pushes on the back wall, and a hidden door opens.
He steps through the door.
Then I do. And then we are back in the darkness.
Enzo knows his way as we weave down unlit hallways, much the same as when I made my way to his room. He doesn’t stumble or bring up a light on his phone to see the way. It appears he can see in the shadows as easily as I can.
He turns his head back toward me once, but not to see if I’m still following, we both can sense each other more than we’d like. There is an attraction, a pull. Like magnets that pull as much as they push. His fire and my ice begging to be brought together, while knowing the second we touch we will explode. Cold and heat aren’t meant to mix, just exist close to each other.
And then the light is burning my retinas as we step into the light. He was warning me with his gaze, I realize, now that the sun is burning down on me.
Enzo studies my every movement as I recoil into my sweater. I hate the fucking sun. Ridiculous thought, after spending so many years begging to feel its warmth. Now it’s too hot, too bright, too much.
“Get in,” Enzo says.
That’s when I notice the car. The very fancy, blacked out car. It’s a two-seater, shiny, and very fast looking.
And suddenly I don’t want to get in the car. I can’t remember the last time I rode in a car. A car looks claustrophobic. It looks dangerous. It looks—
“Kai, get in the car.”
Fuck.
I will not let Enzo see my fear. It’s just a car. I’ve ridden in them countless times before. I can handle it—even a tiny, suffocating car like this one.
I walk to the passenger side, open the door, and slide in. My foot instantly relieved to no longer be standing on it.
I close my eyes and try to take a few deep breaths.
“Afraid of the car or my driving?” Enzo asks.
My eyes pop open as I snarl at him.
He chuckles. “It’s not my driving you should be worried about.”
I still. I know exactly what I should be worried about. This isn’t my first rodeo. He isn’t my first capture. But Enzo isn’t like the other men who took me. We have a connection that saved me last time; I’m not sure that link will save me a second time.
I’m jerked backward, slamming against my seat as Enzo speeds off.
“Seatbelt, Kai. We wouldn’t want anything else to happen to damage your pretty face.”
“Really? You’re making jokes now?”
He shrugs as he zips around another corner.
I grab the seatbelt and clasp it across my body despite hating how trapped I feel.
“I wouldn’t call them jokes. I enjoy watching you squirm. And the faster you learn you are no longer in control, the easier your life will be.”
I will never confess I’ve given him control, just like I never admitted I was broken. My life may have never been my own, but it doesn’t mean I don’t have some control.
“So stubborn,” he says, turning sharply.
“Motherfucking bastard. Fucking slow down. I’m weak, I feel trapped in this car, and I’m about to hurl all over the upholstery.”
He smiles and then slows. It seems that is all he wanted: for me to show weakness.
I close my eyes again as my stomach churns from the turns and being in such a small space. I can barely breathe. Bile rises in my throat; I’m going to vomit.
“Open your eyes, Kai.”
I don’t want to open them. Why does he want me to open them anyway? So he can see the terror on my face he’s causing. He’s sick.
His voice softens, “Open your eyes.”
I open them.
“Look at the road ahead. It will help.”
I watch the road and notice our speed has slowed tremendously. Cars are now passing us, speeding down the highway. I watch the road in front of us and the pressure building in my stomach subsides a little.
“Good, just like that. Now breath in through your nose and purse your lips as you breathe out.”
I do what he says, my breathing calm. He’s so nice, so kind.
“And if you need to puke, tell me. If you thought those men tortured you before, you haven’t felt wrath until I punish you for destroying my car.”
I frown—from cruel to nice in the flip of a switch.
He notices my reaction. “I was joking.”
“It wasn’t funny.”
He sighs and then turns back to driving, ignoring me for the most part. I do occasionally see his eyes cut to mine when my breathing grows erratic again, whether for the safety of his car or for me.
I expect us to drive to some underground society. Or to a condo high above the city. I assume Enzo might live in a mansion high up on a cliff. Or worst yet, a yacht. What I don’t expect is the house we stop in front of before Enzo cuts the engine in the driveway.
“This is your home?” I ask, as I stare at the modest house on the beach.
“Yes. Were you expecting something grandeur?”
I look at the modern, sleek looking house that can’t be more than two to three thousand square feet. I’m sure the home is expensive, it sits on a large private piece of beach proper
ty, gated and secluded, but it still seems modest compared to what I figured he could own based on his fancy suit and expensive car. But somehow this fits Enzo—no magnificence is needed to show his power and attraction.
“No, this was exactly what I was expecting.”
“Welcome to your new home, Kai.”
Home.
This will never be my home. I don’t have a home.
Enzo steps out of the car and doesn’t wait for me to follow. He jogs to the door and opens it, smiling as he steps inside.
I look around as I sit in the car. He never gave me an order. I could continue sitting in the car for the rest of the day, and he couldn’t get angry at me for disobeying. I don’t know why he trusts that I will stay. I lost the bet, but that doesn’t mean I’ll make it easy for him. I never promised not to run away.
I get out of the car, my eyes scanning, trying to find my best method of escape. A habit I’ve developed after years of being captive. But one step on my injured foot and I realize why Enzo isn’t worried about me running and escaping. I can barely walk, let alone run. I would have no chance against him.
So, reluctantly, I follow through the door where Enzo went.
“Mr. Black, welcome home. It’s been a while since we’ve seen you,” a man in a suit who appears to be a couple decades older than us says to Enzo.
Black.
I frown as I try to make sense of what the man said. Enzo said that Black was who he worked for. But he never told me his last name.
Enzo turns to me and reads the confusion on my face. But he doesn’t answer my question.
“This is Mr. Westcott. He works for me and takes care of this house while I’m away. If you need anything and I’m not here, he can assist you,” Enzo says.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Kai,” Mr. Westcott says.
“How do you know my name?” I feel out of the loop, like everyone else knows the answer to a secret, but I’m not even aware of what the secret is.
Mr. Westcott smiles. “Mr. Black texted me that he would have a guest by the name of Katherine Kai Miller, but that you preferred the name Kai.”
I glance between the two men. The story checks out.
“I’ll leave you two to tour the house. Mr. Black, please let me know which rooms you would like prepared. The fridge is fully stocked, but if you need anything else, I’ll be in my office.” Mr. Westcott says before walking away.
“Mr. Black?” I ask, staring at Enzo with my hands folded across my chest.
He narrows his eyes. “You need to eat, Kai.”
“I want my question answered, Mr. Black.”
“Eat first; then you can ask questions.”
I frown. I don’t like this tit for tat game, or him expecting me to win a round of truth or lies to get a question answered.
Enzo turns down a hallway and like before, he doesn’t ask me to follow him. He walks, and I’m expected to follow like a trained dog. Reluctantly, I do.
He stops in the kitchen and has his head buried in the fridge, pulling out all manner of food. He frowns after pulling a platter full of fruit and raw vegetables out. “I don’t have any meat, which might help you heal faster, but eat this for now, and then I’ll get you something more substantial to eat.”
I stare at the mound of food as I stand next to the island. “I can’t eat all of that.”
He laughs. “Eat some of it while I talk.”
“Okay.”
He smiles and slides the food on the island in front of where I stand leaning against the counter.
I pick up a grape and gnaw at it. “Talk.”
“There isn’t much to say really. My last name is Black. I’m Enzo Black.”
“How?” I mumble, my mouth still working on the first bite of grape.
“My father’s name is Black. He owned the empire. The bars, the yachts, the men.”
“Owned?” I ask, realizing he used the word in the past tense.
He nods. “Yes.”
“And now? Who rules the empire now?”
“Me.” I can see it in his eyes. How he got the power he now wields. Me. I don’t understand how disposing of me gained him control over his father’s empire, but I know I had a lot to do with it. And he won’t tell me anything further than what he just told me.
I swallow, the sour taste of the grape lingering on my tongue. I stare down at the platter, trying to pick a fruit that has the least flavor, but I can barely remember the taste of any of the fruits. I haven’t had anything this fresh in years. Instead, I opt for a snow pea stalk. I take a bite off the end.
And then anger fumes inside me. “He was the king, and you were the prince. You had more power back then than you let on. You could have decided I didn’t have to die or be sold. You could have convinced your father.”
He shakes his head. “No, I would have ended up dead. I traded your life to save mine. I did all I could to save you. I’m sorry you aren’t grateful for that.”
“Grateful! You expect me to be grateful! Do you have any idea what I’ve been through?”
He looks at me sheepishly, his face fallen and hurt. It wounds him, what has happened to me. Yet another thing that doesn’t make sense about this man. He can’t care for me. Not if he sold me to cruel men. That’s not caring; it’s the opposite of caring. It’s savage.
He’s silent though, not giving me any more insight into his thoughts or reasoning.
“But you’re the king now?”
“Yes.”
“So you have the power to decide my fate? You could let me go.”
“Yes.”
“But you won’t?”
“No, you controlled your own fate when you offered up your life to me. Now you’re mine.”
“To what? To beat? To rape?”
He shrugs. “If I like.”
My eyes flitter, looking deep into his. He might decide one day to rape me, but that isn’t the purpose of him taking me. At least I don’t think it is.
“Or will you sell me when you get bored of me?”
His eyes dilate, and his nostrils flare at my words.
“You. Are. Mine. I won’t sell or share you with anyone.”
That warms my insides. I’d rather be with the monster I know than one I don’t.
“Besides, I wouldn’t get my money’s worth now that you’ve already been touched and broken.”
I shudder. He’s right, but I hate his words. Why isn’t that enough for me to hate him? Why do I still feel like there is more to the story I’m missing—like why me?
I stop eating and turn toward the large window behind me that overlooks the ocean, trying to process what’s happening. Enzo is callous yet considerate. Merciful yet punishing. I have no idea why he took me or what he intends to do with me.
“It scares you, doesn’t it?”
“What?” I ask.
“Being so close to the ocean.”
I nod. There is no point denying it. I’m in one of the most gorgeous, secluded places on a private beach, and I won’t go near the ocean for however long I’m here.
“What happened to you, Kai? What made you so afraid? Of the water above everything?”
I freeze.
“You were afraid of the car. Wounded by the sunlight. But both of those you were willing to face. With time you will stop fearing them. But the ocean you look at like it’s the enemy. You look at it with a hatred you don’t even give me.”
“Jarod, the man you sold me to, you had no contact with him after you sold me? He never told you what happened?”
Enzo looks at me wide-eyed. “No, I had no contact with the man who owned you.”
I nod. Then he won’t be getting the truth from me. He doesn’t deserve to know what happened to me. He doesn’t get to understand my fears. There is nothing that can fix me anyway. And I have a sinking suspicion that the only reason Enzo would try to heal me would be so he could ruin me again himself.
“Kai…” His hand reaches out and touches my wrist. I don’
t know why or what purpose, but everything else falls away but his touch.
It burns.
The heat overwhelms my body, and it feels like fire is flaming my skin. I stare down at the spot wide-eyed, expecting red blobs of fire to be flying from his fingertips to my wrist.
It’s too much.
His touch.
My body.
It’s too damn much.
I step backward, trying to get out of his grasp. Don’t touch me. Let me go, I plead in my brain, but I can’t form the words.
Everything goes dizzy.
Cloudy.
Then black.
I feel myself falling.
Like before.
I’m falling.
Down.
Down.
Down.
Maybe this time, if the ocean catches me, it will keep me, drown me until I’m gone.
16
Enzo
Watching Kai collapse to the ground shouldn’t affect me. It shouldn’t bother me in the slightest. But then why do I have this gut-wrenching, heaving, gnawing feeling in my stomach as I watch her ailing body fall and then bounce against my hardwood floor?
I should have moved faster; then maybe I would have caught her and prevented the forceful impact of her body. But I was too focused on the bruise on her wrist. The blues and purples drew me into her pale skin, but I couldn’t tell if it was fractured, sprained, or just a bruise. The desire to hunt down Jarod, the man who dared to hurt her flooded through me, while simultaneously wanting to tie her down and fuck her, giving her more wounds and scars from the ropes I would use to tie her up.
Fuck, there is something wrong with me.
“Kai?” I bend down to offer my help for her to stand, even though I know she won’t take it. She all but hates me. She thinks I’m going to torture her and rape her like the last man who owned her. She should think that way. I’m not safe. Although it’s not my style to force a woman against her will, women line up to be fucked by me. I pay the most beautiful women in the world to work in my club, and they have no problem extending their services to me when their shifts are over.
