by Ella Miles
“Come outside with me, Kai.”
My eyes widen. My body stiffens at the thought. “No.”
“The sun won’t warm you as it’s not out. And I promise not to toss you into the ocean like before,” he smirks trying to lighten the mood. It doesn’t exactly work.
I bite my bottom lip. I can’t go outside. I’m a prisoner. And I’m afraid. Can’t you see that, Enzo?
“Do I have to win another round of truth or lies to get you to go outside?”
“No, I hate that game.”
He nods.
“Come eat some food and drink some wine on the deck with me,” Enzo says.
I can’t.
“You can ask me questions while we eat.”
It’s tempting, but I know what he’s not saying. I can ask questions, just not the question I need an answer to.
“Kai,” his voice warns. I don’t know why he’s so insistent on me going outside with him. But I know if I don’t go willingly, I will be forced to go. And on some level, I want him to force me. I want to see him as the devil again. Not the man who seems concerned about what happens to me.
And also because I want to feel him touch me again. The last time he did, sparks flew. I wasn’t sure if I was experiencing pleasure or complete agony. It was a mix of both. But I could see the potential in the touch. With time, I could crave his touch.
“I’m not going to hurt you, Kai.”
“Why?”
He shrugs. “Because I can’t. You should be dead. And when you returned, I should have tortured you for information about your master. I should have ensured you weren’t a spy. I should have used you and disposed of you a long time ago, but I can’t.”
“Why?” I whisper again.
“Because you are the only one who could save me.”
He doesn’t elaborate. He just carries the tray out through the glass window that turns into a swinging door, when he pushes against the pane.
I could run back to my room and lock him out. But I’m tired of being afraid. I won’t live in fear. I’m safe, even if I’m only safe because I’m in a new prison with a guard who won’t touch me.
My feet touch the rough wood of the deck, and I want to recoil back inside. Push through; you can do this.
I take another step. Then another, then another. And then I feel the cool ocean breeze hit me.
I freeze.
The salt is rough against my skin; it tangles in my hair and makes me want to run.
I don’t run, but it doesn’t mean I can move.
“Sit, Kai. The ocean can’t hurt you.”
I know his words make sense, but I can’t. I can’t move.
“Kai, you can do this. Sit.”
My legs collapse, and I fall onto the couch outside next to Enzo. Tears stream down my face again.
Dammit!
This isn’t what I want. I want to be strong. I want to face my fears with courage, not weakness.
“I’m such a coward.”
Enzo growls, forcing my head to look at him.
“You are the strongest fucking person I know. I still don’t know the whole story, but I know enough. Don’t let anyone, yourself included, ever tell you you are anything but strong.”
“All I ever did was survive.”
“That’s more than anyone else in your position would have been able to do.”
I shiver as the cold spritz from the water hits me again. It’s windier than I would have expected from inside; the weather looked so clam. Or maybe it’s because I haven’t felt fresh air in so long that everything feels more intense.
“Do you want a blanket?” Enzo asks, with hope in his voice.
I don’t.
“It will protect you from the wind and salt in the air.”
“Okay.”
He dashes inside and returns with a lightweight blanket before I change my mind. He hands it to me, and I take it. I wrap it around me instinctively and close my eyes as I feel trapped beneath its material.
“Here, I made you a sandwich.”
I open my eyes and see what appears to be a grilled cheese sandwich on a paper plate that he removes from the tray on the coffee table in front of us.
I smile. “A grilled cheese sandwich? Are you a chef or something?” I tease.
He smiles back. “Nope, I just decided to fix the worst thing for us. It’s all grease, processed bread, and gooey cheese. It is the worst thing for our stomachs, but hopefully, it will put some more weight on your bones.”
I frown. “It bothers you how skinny I am, doesn’t it?”
“Yes,” he hisses.
I take a bite of the grilled cheese; the cheese immediately melts in my mouth before sliding down my throat.
“How does it taste?”
“Better than most of the stuff Westcott has been trying to get me to eat. Except the bacon. I like bacon.”
Enzo smiles. “Everyone likes bacon. I’ll tell Westcott to add grilled cheese to his menu for you.”
I nod and continue to scarf down the sandwich. Maybe if I eat quickly, we can go back inside.
When he’s satisfied that I ate my entire sandwich, he pours me a glass of red wine.
I take it and smell it first. I’ve never had a good glass of wine, but I expect this is more expensive than what most people drink. I’ve seen enough people smell it first before taking a sip to know that’s what you are supposed to do.
I sip. It tastes bitter and dry, but soothing at the same time.
The sadness overcomes me immediately.
“What’s wrong? Do you not like the wine? I can get another.”
“No, the wine is fine. I just…”
I look up at Enzo. “This is the first time I’m drinking, legally.”
He holds out his glass. “To drinking legally as an adult. May we drink smarter than our previous, reckless selves.”
He waits, but I don’t know what he’s waiting for. “You are supposed to clink your glass with mine.”
“Oh.” My cheeks burn as I clink my glass with his.
Enzo Black, what are you doing to me? My eyes travel up and down his bare chest again, and I give a silent plea for him to find a way through my walls. To make it so he can touch me again. So one day, he can fuck me. And I can find the pleasure I’ve been missing all these years.
We both sip our glasses, while our bodies yearn to touch. Like a magnet, I feel my body reaching out and trying to join with his. But I’m not brave enough to even brush my hand against him.
“How has work been this week?”
“Huh?” Enzo asks.
“You never talk about work. I don’t even really know what being the all-powerful ruler you are means.”
“It means I make the rules and all the men follow. It means I make millions of dollars a day. It means I own the underground, the darkest places in Miami and the ocean surrounding. No one takes a foot in this town without me knowing about it.”
I nod. “I know that, but what do you do every day? Where do you go?”
“Surrender mostly. That’s where I can get information and gather my team to ensure everyone is doing their jobs, which mainly means running the clubs and yachts and protecting those that have paid us for protection. I spend my day looking as menacing as possible, so no one dares defy my rule, and if someone does, I make an example of them.”
I sip more wine.
“And women, you can’t forget the women who dance all over you and let them fuck you at night,” I force a smile to my face as I say the words that hurt more than they should.
Enzo isn’t yours. He can fuck whoever he wants. And even if he were yours, he shouldn’t be. You can’t forgive him for selling you.
“Yes, the women make the job more enjoyable,” his jaw hardens as he speaks.
“Ever had a serious girlfriend or someone you considered making Mrs. Dangerous?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because there will never be a Mrs.”
“I
t seems a King needs his Queen.”
“Not this King.”
I take a long swallow and finish the wine in my glass. I hold it out, and Enzo pours more into my glass.
“You should come with me,” he says suddenly.
“Go with you?”
“To Surrender. It would be good for you. It would help you heal faster.”
“How would watching naked women dance on the most disgusting vile men help me?”
“Because you need to face your fears to heal.”
“I’m not afraid of Surrender.”
“No, you’re not. But you are afraid of clothes and light and going outside. I’m sure being around strange men isn’t exactly your idea of a great day either. You need to push yourself to heal.”
“You trust me enough to go and not run away?”
“No, I don’t trust you. Try running and see what happens.”
“That sounds like a threat you will never follow through on.”
He smirks. “Maybe I won’t, but Langston will.”
“Fine. As long as I don’t have to strip, I’ll come with you.”
He laughs. “You walk around naked all the time in front of me and anyone else who enters my house. Why would stripping be so bad?”
I laugh. “I guess it wouldn’t. My strip show would end quickly though since I’m already naked.”
We both laugh at the ridiculousness. And then Enzo’s gaze turns serious.
“Stop looking at me like that,” he says.
“Like what?”
“Like you want me to take you to bed and pound you until you come screaming.”
“I’m not looking at you like that.”
“Liar.”
“I’m not.”
He sighs. “I will never fuck you, Kai. I will do my best to never touch you. I can’t have you, Kai. I will ruin you.”
“I’m already ruined.”
He reaches his hand out.
I freeze.
He stops short of stroking my black hair like I want.
“No, you’re not ruined. You’re just hurt. You’re just in pain. Someday soon you will break free of the walls you put up to protect yourself. And when you do, you’ll realize just how amazing you are.”
I try to cling to his words, but I can’t. My eyes are growing heavy. I just slept almost eight hours. I shouldn’t be so tired, but I am. So, so tired. My body starts loosening like jello, and I fall into a heavy pile on the couch.
24
Enzo
I tighten the rope around Kai’s wrist. She moans as the sharp pain digs into her flesh.
My eyes glaze at the sight, knowing she’ll wear a bright red scar tomorrow because of me.
I stand back and admire my work. Kai is spread eagle on my bed. Her arms and legs are tied by a crude rope to the bedposts. My tie is around her mouth so she can’t speak.
She doesn’t move, but her eyes beg me—don’t hurt me.
I’ll do my best princess. The pleasure will be worth any pain.
She swallows hard, her neck muscles flexing as her saliva slides down her throat.
My eyes can’t stop soaking her in. Her hardened nipples are begging to be licked. Her stomach has flattened, preparing for my kisses. And her pussy is dripping with anticipation.
And then I see the scars…
On her neck, her breasts, her stomach, her legs. They are everywhere. Reminding me of what I gave up. I let another man touch her.
Wild hunger stirs deep inside me. I don’t know why I’ve waited all these weeks to touch her. I’m hungry and desperate for her, and her body is more than ready for me.
I climb up on the bed and settle between her legs, careful not to touch her. I want our bodies to connect in one swift movement as I slide inside her. I want an explosion.
I warn her with my eyes, and she braces herself on the bed but doesn’t tell me to stop. She wants this.
I grab her hips and slam my cock into her body in one long stroke.
Damn, she’s tight. So fucking tight.
“Jesus, Kai. I’ve never felt anything this tiny, this chilling to my bone, this comforting.” Her pussy molds to my cock in cool perfection. Christ, even her pussy is cold compared to my skin. But it’s the perfect balance for me.
She sucks in a rough breath through her nose; her whole body is tense. I’ve hurt her.
I’ve hurt her.
I need to stop. Give her time to adjust.
Stop, I can stop. I’m self-control. I’m not a monster.
I stop, but then her pussy tightens, a soft cry escapes her throat, and a tear trickles down her precious face. Any normal man would stop seeing her react like that, but I’m not normal. I was raised by the devil and revel in the darkness. So instead, I lose myself.
I pump hard, my full-length inside her.
Her gentle tears turn to streams. She’s fighting inside, trying to get me off her, trying to make me stop.
But now that I’ve started, I can’t stop. I won’t stop. Not until I’ve destroyed her.
In.
Out.
Harder.
Faster.
Her tears are spilling from her eyes, but I need more. I love to see her in pain, knowing I’m the one to give her that experience. I’m the only one who gets her tears.
“Cry for me, baby. Beg for me.”
“Stop.”
“Yes, just like that.”
“Stop, Enzo. Please.”
I freeze, staring at her mouth still tied up. She can’t talk. It’s not possible. But I know I heard her speak.
“Please.”
I open my eyes.
“Enzo,” Kai whispers in her sleep on the floor in her usual spot in the corner of my bedroom.
It was a dream.
My body is pressed against her as I hump her leg like a sixteen-year-old horny boy.
Shit.
I scurry away, shocked that I haven’t woken her up. I’m a sick, disgusting prick. My dream alone is reason why I can never touch her, or permit myself to fuck her even once. I’m not a good man.
I remember last night. How many secrets were revealed, and how many more are left to say.
She passed out so easily. At least this time I don’t think it was from exhaustion. She’s just a lightweight after not drinking alcohol for years and having lost so much weight.
But it gave me another excuse to carry her to bed. Well, the floor since she won’t sleep in a bed.
But I can’t even carry her anymore if this is the result—me humping her while dreaming of torturing her.
I’m sick.
I need to find a way to get her out of my life quickly before I do more damage than I’ve already done. She doesn’t deserve any more pain.
I stare down at her still sleeping body. She reaches out like she’s trying to grab something, but I’m no longer there for her to grab onto.
It’s for the better, Kai. You don’t want me. Maybe before, if we had fucked on that yacht before she was taken. No, she was too young then. She wasn’t ready to be fucked.
If she hadn’t been taken by a man as sadistic as I am, then maybe I would have a chance. She could learn to enjoy how twisted I am in bed. Many women before her have enjoyed my sick fantasies. But Kai never will. She’s been through too much. She will always see me as the same monsters as them.
Kai was a virgin. She’d never been with a man. Never even been kissed before I hurt her.
It makes me nauseous knowing her first time was with a man set on breaking her. And I was the catalyst to that happening. I’m the reason she isn’t still cleaning boats and stealing to make enough money to eat.
Either way her life would have sucked, but not as bad as now. I took her innocence and gave it to a man who didn’t deserve her.
And now she’s lost.
Destined to break beyond repair if I don’t get her away from me.
“Are we going to Surrender today?” she asks with big eyes.
I don’t know how
long she’s been awake, but I don’t know what to say. I don’t want her to come to the club with me. I can’t be around her. But I told her to come. She needs to heal; that’s my best plan for being able to leave her—by continuing to lie.
“Yes.”
She fidgets with her fingers.
“We will leave in twenty minutes. You need to get dressed.”
I walk into the bathroom, grab one of my suits, and then head to one of the other bathrooms to get ready. I can’t be near her. I can’t help her put clothes on. I doubt she will wear anything suitable to go out in public in any way. I’ll just tell her she has to stay, and I’ll deal with her a different day.
I glance at my watch after twenty minutes exactly have passed.
“I’m leaving. You ready?” I shout up the stairs. I continue fidgeting with the watch, remembering the one Kai stole when I hear her footsteps stomping down the stairs. Even as light as she is, she has no idea how to be quiet on her feet.
I look up when her feet still in front of me.
“Fuck,” I curse.
“That bad?” she asks.
I don’t know what to say. I thought at most she’d wear a loose T-shirt. Maybe she’d find an oversized dress I had Westcott pick out to fill her closet. But I didn’t expect this.
Kai is dressed in tight dark jeans, a flowy black halter top that pushes her boobs up, and strappy heels. She’s not wearing any makeup, but she’s combed her hair into shiny tendrils framing her face in dark lines.
“I couldn’t find any makeup, and my hair could use a trim, but I thought I looked alr—”
“You look beautiful, Kai. You don’t need makeup or anything at all, but I’ll make sure Westcott buys you some before your next outing.”
She smiles with a nervous lip.
“You going to be able to walk in those shoes?”
“I didn’t figure I’d be walking far.”
“You never know when you’ll need to run away from danger at Surrender.” Or me.
If she would find a way to disappear, then I could let her go. I’m just not sure she’s strong enough to leave alone.
She follows me to the garage and hops in my Porsche without waiting for me to tell her to. It’s like something has changed in her overnight. She’s tired of living scared. It’s like knowing that more of her life was taken than she realized made her want to start living her life now instead of waiting.
