I shrug a little. “My life has always felt more temporary than what I would have liked it to feel. I didn’t have definite answers until six months ago, but I kind of just knew, I guess.”
He nods again. What is there to say to a girl who’s about to die? I’m used to that too, being the one who has to carry conversations to make everyone else feel more comfortable. I can’t control how I make everyone feel, but I can try to ease the pain, even if it’s only a little.
Piper and Dax both stood side by side, staring at me for almost thirty minutes. I hate goodbyes. I hate them so much for this reason. “I’m getting a little tired,” I tell them. That seems to do the trick. Never have I been so rude, but I can’t take too many more elongated goodbyes.
“I’ll be back tomorrow, and the next day, and—”
“Piper,” I interrupt her. “Say goodbye.” I swallow the knot in my throat, trying to push it back where it belongs.
“No!” she cries. “You’re not going anywhere.”
I force a smile, not because I don’t want to smile but because it’s hard to smile. Wrapping my arms loosely around her, I hush her sobs. She has to live with this goodbye, I don’t.
There is no telling whether I’ll be here tomorrow, but I’ve always heard you just know when your time is up. I feel it today. I’m at peace with it today. “I love you,” I tell her.
Dax helps her up and sits her down on the chair beside my bed as he switches spots with her. “Listen to me, you stubborn girl,” he says, smiling widely. “You will always be the one who got away. I have never wanted to be with someone as much as I wanted to be with you, and you will always have that too. I was angry with you for a long time after that night, and it’s taken me up until now to see how selfless you are. This hurts like hell, Ari, and God, if you had let me fall in love with you any more than I already did, I’m not sure I’d be able to make it through this right now. It’s not going to be easy, no matter what, but damn, I feel lucky to have been a part of your life, even for the short amount of time you allowed it. You’re something else.” The last of his words get caught in his throat, and it breaks through my numbing pain barrier.
“I really, really liked you, Dax. I wanted things to be different, but I’ve seen what this kind of heartbreak can do, and I refuse to put anyone through that. You know what I want from you?”
“Anything, just name it.”
“Find a girl, make her yours, treat her like you were going to treat me, and for both of us…find happiness.”
He leans down and places a soft kiss on my cheek and then takes Piper by the arm. “Goodbye,” I offer. The two of them look at me with emptiness, both refusing to return my goodbye.
After Piper and Dax leave, it’s only minutes before Hunter and his family show up. We go through similar conversations but Olive, Hunter’s daughter—the little miracle that preceded Ellie’s heart, sits down on my bedside and tells me about her birthday wish.
“Today is Christmas, you know,” she says.
“I know it,” I say with a small grin. “Did you get anything nice from Santa this morning?”
She shrugs. “Just the norm, but tomorrow is my birthday, and you know what that means?”
“Cake,” I say with as much excitement as I can.
“And Daddy said we can have a birthday party here so we can celebrate me and your heart.” I look over at Hunter, sad that he told Olive she could celebrate here tomorrow, given that I don’t know what tomorrow will bring if there even is one for me. But he looks at me with a reassuring look. How is he so sure?
Olive gives me a kiss and hugs me tightly before hopping off the bed. I’m terrified of breaking that little heart of hers.
Hunter leans over and kisses me on the forehead. “How are you doing today?”
I give him a look I know he understands. “I don’t know about tomorrow,” I tell him quietly. “I have a gift for her, and I was going to give it to her today.”
“You can give it to her tomorrow,” he says.
“Hunter,” I argue.
“Don’t argue with me. Ellie wouldn’t let that happen—not on Christmas, and not on Olive’s birthday. I know this.”
Hunter reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a tiny gift wrapped in green paper. “Here. Open it.”
“Why would you be wasting money on a gift for me now?” I ask, trying to laugh but not succeeding.
Hunter bites down on his lip, I think to stop the tremble in his jaw. “Open it.”
I tear off the paper, and inside is a tiny locket, not a new one, though. I open it and find a picture of Hunter on one side and a picture of Ellie on the other. “It was Ellie's,” he explains. “The heart symbolizes our love while she was alive, but now it symbolizes her heart and the unity it has brought the three of us. I want you to keep it on you.” Without saying the words, I know what he means.
“I will make sure I’m buried with this,” I tell him. I didn’t mean for it to sound as awful as it sounded, but what other way is there to say it?
He loses it a little and this goodbye, even if just for today, became a little easier.
CHAPTER TEN
I had the goodbyes all wrong. At least the pain part of them was all wrong. Nothing hurt as much as saying the real goodbye. My heartbeat was declining by the minute, and I asked the doctors to unplug everything, not to intervene, and to let me have my real final goodbyes to the people I love.
In my final moments, I handed Olive a key to a secret garden that I owned. I never did tell a soul that my parents were the owners of the very same garden Hunter and Ellie made into their sacred grounds, where they confessed their love for each other, where Ellie was laid to rest, and where Olive will someday visit because it will mean the world to her. My parting gift and birthday gift to Olive is a key to her own little piece of happiness so she can start her own path. Of course, I told her she won’t find out what the key goes to until the time is right.
Hunter is looking at me with confusion and wonder but also an understanding I know he doesn’t quite have.
I was brought into this world to make a difference in this man’s life and to give him some peace after his world was shattered.
Some of us get to say goodbye. Some of us don’t. It’s up to those of us who do get to say goodbye to do it right and to close up all ends that have remained loose and frayed.
I'm hiding my pain as Hunter leaves me behind. I close my eyes and say a quiet prayer for him. “Make sure you see your happily ever after through, Hunter. You deserve your second chance,” I say quietly after the door closes behind them.
“What about yours?” A nurse asks. I hadn’t seen her walk in because I haven’t opened my eyes yet, fearful to look at a world where I have said goodbye to everyone I love. I think about her question, just as a sharp and bright light pokes through the window pane. It’s beautiful and summoning me home. I happily succumb to the numbness in my body, just as my body becomes weightless. Understanding sets in when a blurry vision of Ellie appears in front of me with an inviting smile.
“Ellie?” I call.
Her smile fades, as does the vision when a cold hand rests on my forearm. “Ari?” the nurse says.
Keeping my focus on the enchanting flicker of light, Ellie reappears, and I tell her and the nurse, “My happily ever after is the ending to a life that was given as a gift—it started and ended with a change of heart.”
For Hunter’s full story, make sure you read
A Heart of Time.
Blurb:
“Time of death...” the doctor said.
I won’t forget that moment I looked over at Ellie—the paleness of her once rosy cheeks, the blue hue coating her perfect lips—the woman I had been with since we were five years old. My wife. My best friend...and the mother to our newborn baby girl.
You promised me we would be together forever, I wanted to tell her. She gave me her forever, I told myself. Her forever just ended at twen
ty-five.
“You need to say your goodbyes...” the doctor said.
How do I say goodbye to the one person in my life I could never say goodbye to?
My body is numb, and my heart hurts. Hurts like someone just ripped it out of my chest. Which is ironic...
“We are going to remove her heart now, Hunter. It was her wish to donate,” the doctor said.
She never told me this.
She never told me another woman would carry on with her beating heart. She never told me this woman knew me but wouldn’t let me know her.
She never told me if I should follow her heart, or if I should follow mine.
She knew. She could have told me...
COMING SOON
Hunter’s brother has also lived through his own heartbreaking story. Keep your eyes open for A Missing Heart, a new standalone novel coming this November.
Shari’s books:
A Missing Heart (A Standalone Coming November 2016)
A Heart of Time (A Standalone)
Spiked Lemonade (A Standalone)
TAG (A Standalone)
You’re It (A TAG Novella)
Ravel (A Standalone)
Red Nights (A Standalone)
No Way Out (A Novella Series)
Schasm (Book One of the Schasm Series)
Fissure Free (Book Two of the Schasm Series)
When Fully Fused (Book Three of the Schasm Series)
International Bestselling Author, Shari J. Ryan, lives in Central Massachusetts with her husband and two lively little boys. Shari has always had an active imagination and enjoys losing herself in the emotionally electrified worlds of fiction she creates. To learn more, visit her at: http://sharijryan.com, facebook.com/authorsharijryan, or twitter.com/sharijryan
Christmas Break
Misha Elliott
DEDICATION
Story is for everyone who has missed Sophie and Alex as much as I have. This is a look at their first Christmas together.
1 CHAPTER Sophie
Parts of me were still slightly shy when it came to sharing feelings I kept buried deep inside. Communicating with texts are easier because I have time to get my thoughts and feelings together. Even phone calls work smoothly not making me feel as vulnerable the way video chats do. Somehow it seems trickier to talk about things when you can look into each other’s face.
Something about being able to see and touch him is calming, making it easy to speak freely without reservation.
With the distance between us and my full course schedule all we get are a few moments here and there to talk.
Alex sent me enough little messages all day to build up the anticipation for our chat tonight. The last text that came across my phone is longer than the previous ones. Right now Christmas break felt like forever.
Hurriedly I plop on my bed thankful that I am alone in the room. Lying on my back, I press the FaceTime button on my phone when I see the mess that is me flashing up on the screen I hit the red cancel button. Oh, my god, this is not the way I want him to see me. Sprinting into the bathroom, I grab a brush and smooth down unruly stray hairs on my head. Sifting through Rachel’s makeup that she conveniently leaves all over the sink.
I pick some pink gloss for my lips and brushed powder foundation to my face. There that’s better.
My phone is ringing I see that it’s Alex calling me. Flopping back on my side to answer his call. Alex comes into view
“Three more sleeps.” Jonah and Collin are yelling in the background. I watch Alex turn his head in their direction to look at them. “Shh... guys settle down. Why don’t you go to your room and look at a movie while I finish talking to Sophie.”
“I love that girl.” Jonah insisted, then another face that’s a younger version of Alex fills my screen. “Hello, guys how are you doing?”
Suddenly both of their faces disappear from the screen. Shrills of giggles are coming from behind Alex where he shows me that the boys turned shy and are now hiding. Alex looks behind at them and smirks.
“How are they doing?” I ask him.
“Well. Other than pestering me every five minutes to ask if today is the day that Sophie comes” He smiles when he says it. “They are doing well. What they say is right kids bounce back pretty good. They went back to school for half days this week.”
“I can’t imagine how they are handling everything so well.” The words that I thought were only in my head slip from my lips. I hope they don’t upset him.
“Yeah, sometimes they forget and ask when Dad’s coming home or call out for him.” His voice trails off, and the look in his eyes go dim. I don’t want to ignore his feelings but want to change the subject to give him something happy.
“You still haven’t told me what you want for Christmas,” I say.
“Well, the only thing I want is for the boys to have a good one. Dad always went all out with decorations. Our house always looked like the North Pole exploded in the living room.” The fact that he is putting them first just reinforces why I love him. It’s great that he is thinking about them, but he has to have something for himself too.
“Well... if you won’t give me any clues or tell me what you want. I’m going to have to come up with something amazing all on my own.” I singsong the words to him.
“I don’t want you to spend any money on me. End of subject. Now, you young lady haven’t told your incredible boyfriend what you want for Christmas.” He says sternly.
“Really? How is that fair? I can’t buy you anything, but you want to buy me something?” I shake my head, letting him know that wasn’t going to fly with me.
“It’s fair for two reasons.” He pauses and puffs out his chest. “One, because I’m the man. Two, because I said so.” He’s so cute to me when he puts on that serious face.
I give him an eye roll. “If I can’t buy you anything you can’t buy me anything either,” I repeat.
He presses a thumb to his mouth deep in thought. “You know that is an excellent idea. Whatever we do for each other, we can’t be a gift you have to buy. It will be fun.” He has that mischievous grin on his face telling me he already has something planned.
“That’s easy for you to say. I only have three days.” I’m starting to panic because I don’t have a creative bone in my body. There is not enough time for me to finish up my tests, pack, and get hit with inspiration in the next three days before I fly home.
“You have longer until it’s Christmas; you have ten days.” He says.
“Yes, but once I get around those handsome Matthew’s men, I won’t be able to concentrate or get anything constructive done,” I say giving him a wink.
Alex turns so only his ear and half of his back are in my view.
“Did you hear that guys Sophie says we’re handsome men.” He says to his brothers, needing to explain the meaning of the word. “It means she wants to give you hugs and kisses.” The boys groan in the background at those words. They each pop on quickly to wave goodbye then take off making Alex laugh. When Alex comes back into view, he blows me a kiss. I do the same then disconnect the call.
I mutter under my breath about how hard finding a gift that is handmade is going to be. My stomach growls reminding me that time has passed for dinner. Good thing Rachel’s mother keeps our fridge full of food. Leftovers of lasagna all wrapped in individual containers. As the microwave spins the familiar smell of spices send my senses into overdrive before my mind drifts to Alex. Thoughts of him always make me swoon. Our first unofficial date of pizza, then our latest at Olde Time Italian. Feeling a bit nostalgic, I climb on top of the sheets for dinner, movies and memories of him.
The lock clicks. “Oh. Oh. God. Just kill me now.” Rachel moans from the doorway. She slowly makes her way into the room not bothering to shut the door. Her body is hunching over as if the weight of her bags are too much for her to bear. The usual crisp, clean appearance i
s gone. The long shirt is full of wrinkles. Her long brown hair is falling out of the ponytail. The bubbly gleam in her eyes is fading, and I see the hint of dark circles under her eyes revealing an apparent lack of sleep. I pause my second movie of the night to take the bags from her and set them on the desk.
“Thanks for the help.” She groans.
“No problem,” I say on my way to shut the door,
“Excuse me while I die now.” She says dramatically then falls back on her bed. She had been going full steam 16 hour days between the band, class schedules, and her job.
“What can I do to help? Need a drink, something to eat, or someone to turn on the shower?” She slowly raises her hand and gives me the finger. The wrong one to be exact. I try to stifle my laughter but am unable to contain it.
“I hate you right now Sophia Pennington.” She mumbles into her pillow.
I move over and throw a blanket on her and pull her shoes off her feet. “I know I love you too Rachel.” I sigh.
“Thank you. I just need some sleep I have two tests tomorrow. Don’t let me bother you go ahead and do whatever you need to.” She says to me with a wave of her hand.
“Oh. Alex and I already had our chat for tonight.” I say.
“Good.” She says with half a yawn. “Is everything alright?” Her voice trails off.
“Everything is great,” I answer. Sleepy eyes look back at me briefly before they close again.
“That’s gooood.” Rachel slurs out her O's she will be asleep before too long.
Before I can tell her my need for gift ideas, a series of quiet snores from her open mouth fill the room. It makes me laugh. Maybe that discussion will work better after she has some sleep.
Grabbing shorts and a tee I head into the bathroom to get ready for bed I pry my phone from my back pocket and pull it out to send a quick text to Heidi. We didn’t have our regular chat this week; she’s been pretty busy herself. I can’t help but wish she were coming home for break.
Christmas in the City II Page 18
