by Becky Norman
Cody had kept detailed records of possible buyers of all four horses that were still on the property and Lori had called them earlier in the week to see if they were still interested. There were ten interested parties, in fact, but they didn’t want to commit until they had seen what the horses could do, so Lori had offered to give a day of demonstrations on all the horses. She would put each through a brief groundwork and riding exhibition and had already done up fact sheets for each animal as a reminder they could take home with them. Shannon had come up with the brilliant idea to hire an auctioneer who would be there at the ready to sell to the highest bidder. They had found one that was just starting out in the business and wasn’t asking a lot of money for his services. He seemed excited to try his hand at an equine auction on a small scale like this and had even given Lori some excellent suggestions on how to set up the ring, as well as providing basic publicity and promotion of the event.
When the auctioneer had entered the picture, Shannon had also asked Lori if she would mind allowing a few horses from FairWind Farms to be put up for sale during the day, as well. Suddenly, the four-horse sale had become an auction of moderate proportions and the auctioneer had phoned Lori the previous night to tell her he had had over fifty phone calls from people who planned to attend. Lori wasn’t surprised; with the quality of horses Shannon had in her barn, her reputation alone would draw in a crowd.
Lori pulled on jeans and a striking teal tank top that contrasted dramatically with her fair skin and black hair. For now, she would wear something cool and functional and change into riding clothes when the buyers started arriving. She had a lot of cleaning to do around the place before 10:00, to say nothing of bathing and grooming the sale horses until they gleamed.
Shannon and her husband, Mark, pulled onto the property with their 4-horse gooseneck trailer shortly after 7:00 that morning, just as Lori was wondering if she could drag the arena by herself. She’d only used the tractor minimally, usually letting Cody do the equipment work while she groomed and cleaned stalls. She walked to Shannon and Mark’s truck with relief when she saw them and Mark rolled the window down to speak with her.
He was a good-looking man: his neatly trimmed, dark brown beard and hair were the perfect frame for warm, amber-coloured eyes that tipped down slightly at the corners, enhancing the impression of someone who could be both gentle and firm as required. More than that, there was always an air of quiet capability about Mark that Lori greatly appreciated today.
“’Morning, Lori,” he said as he stuck his head out the window. “Where should I park the truck?”
Shannon leaned over so she could see Lori through Mark’s window, as well, and the two ladies waved at each other.
Lori gestured to the left of the house, where a distinct set of car tracks could be seen winding their way to the arena and hay shed. “Anywhere over that way, Mark. Are you guys ok to leave the horses tied to the trailer? There’s a lot of shade over that way.”
Shannon nodded and scooted over a little closer to Mark so she could talk over the chugging of the truck’s diesel engine. “Yeah, that’s fine, Lori. Are you using the outdoor arena then, today?”
Lori gave a brief nod in return. “I thought so. It’s supposed to get pretty hot this afternoon, though. Do you think we should use the indoor? I haven’t done much with it since the spring – I like to ride outside as much as I can.”
Mark and Shannon looked at each other briefly, conferring silently with one another in the way of married couples. It brought an unexpected pang to Lori when she saw it. She missed exchanging those looks with Cody. “I’d stick to the outside then,” Mark confirmed. He grinned and looked down to put the truck in gear. “A little sunlight will do the crowd some good. And maybe they’ll bid quicker if they want to get out of the heat,” he added with a wink.
“Hey, Mark,” Lori said as she saw him start to roll up his window. She put her hand on the glass and moved her face a little closer to him. “Would you mind dragging the outdoor arena for me while we get the horses settled and ready? I can do the basics, but I’m not sure if I’m up to doing a professional landscaping job.”
Shannon’s husband chuckled and jerked his head in agreement. “Yep. Will do,” he affirmed as he finished rolling up his window and then the truck rolled past her.
**********
The auction was going well. Shannon had already sold one of her mares for slightly more than she had been valued; and Lori’s palomino had fetched an impressive sum. She watched two women bid against each other as she rode, marvelling at the lengths people would go for a “pretty” horse. Cody had been right, she thought with only a twinge of heartache – go for the eye-catching ones and you had a sure thing. Personally, Lori felt the chestnut at the end of the sale was the best horse she was putting up – he had a good mind, was easily trainable and had come far in the few months she’d had him. He was going to make someone a beautiful cow horse some day; she only hoped the buyers in this crowd of about 60 people had the experience to see it.
Shannon wasn’t doing in-depth displays with her horses – the basic walk-trot-canter around the impromptu sales ring, with some backing and bending exercises, was the extent of it – so they had agreed to alternate the horses up for sale. While Lori was doing the detailed exhibition of rollbacks, side-passing and flying lead changes on her horses, Shannon was getting her next one tacked up and ready for the auction ring. It was highly efficient and also made the day sail by.
Before she knew it, Lori was tacking up the chestnut and watching Shannon’s best horse – a “scopey” bay Thoroughbred gelding – sell for $5000 over the anticipated price. She whistled softly under her breath as the gavel fell and finished adjusting the bridle on her own horse. “Let’s hope you have as much interest, buddy,” she murmured to a red ear tipped in her direction.
There was interest – and the chestnut sold for more than Lori anticipated – but it certainly wasn’t the stupendous gain Shannon had seen. But then, it was more of an “English” crowd and Lori knew selling cow horses in this part of the world was just starting to catch on. Give it a few more years and they’d be the trendsetters in this area.
After the crowd, the horses and the auctioneer had departed, Mark and Shannon joined Lori where she was sitting on the back deck, watching Ebony and Piper graze in their pasture to the right.
“Well, I could use a beer after that day,” Mark stated as he sat down on the steps. “Whattya say, Lori? Shall we head into town and catch something to eat at the pub?”
“Sure,” she answered, her voice a little thick even to her own ears.
Shannon looked around from where she was perched on a deck box and her brows drew down. “You okay?”
Lori looked at Shannon, trying to veil the pain a bit in her eyes before she spoke. “Yeah. It’s just hard. I mean...I’m glad they sold for what they did, but I’m gonna miss ‘em.” She shrugged, as though adjusting her western slinkie top on her shoulders. “Cody had such a vision for this place and the horses that would come through. It’s hard to watch it happen without him here.” She felt a wave of sorrow sweep up her throat and tears sprang instantly to her eyes. “I miss him so much on days like this.”
Shannon got up and walked over to Lori, not having to crouch very far with her petite frame to give her friend a hug. “I know, girl. You’ve been a real trooper,” she murmured. “If it hurts too much to talk about him, then don’t.”
Lori shook her head against Shannon’s shoulder. “It’s not that – I’m okay. I just miss him. And I miss saying his name. I feel like I’m not allowed to anymore because it makes other people upset.”
Shannon pulled up another chair and took Lori’s hands in her own. “You talk about Cody as much as you want. He deserves to be remembered.”
Lori felt a start on hearing Shannon use his name and started to cry. It was simple and gentle this time – not the heart-wrenching mourning she�
�d done in the past. She wondered at that – wondered if she were entering a new phase of her pain. “I’m so glad you guys were here today,” she sobbed. “So glad.”
They sat with her for several minutes, quietly there, allowing her to get it out. When she was finished, Shannon produced a tissue from her pocket and handed it to Lori with a wink. Lori laughed shakily and took it, blowing her nose.
“Sorry about that,” she said regrettably.
Shannon made a noise of correction. “None of that. Don’t ever be sorry for loving him, Lori.”
Lori nodded and cleared her throat. “Right. Well, I think I could use that supper, Mark. Just let me get changed and I’ll meet you out front.”
**********
Lori had completely forgotten about the hay until the farmer that had sold it to them phoned, wondering when she was coming to get it. He needed the space, he said; needed the wagons emptied, too. She promised him she would call around and see who could help, then get back to him.
In the end, it was only Jesse that said he was available. Her parents had booked a holiday, which also meant all of her siblings were committed to looking after the family farm while they were away. And the rest of Cody’s family had been mysteriously quiet since his death, although maybe not so mysteriously – Lori couldn’t blame them for not wanting to think about his absence too much and she knew being around her would be that reminder. Shannon and Mark were away at one of their many summer horse shows, so Lori felt a profound relief when Jesse said he’d figure out a way to get to her place that Saturday.
She got the first wagonload of hay hitched up to her truck and drove the few miles back to her farm on her own. She was secretly proud of that and even allowed herself to sing along to the George Strait song that came on the radio as she was heading back. For some reason, hitching up the wagon and manoeuvring out of the hay farmer’s driveway had made her feel capable - a rare experience for Lori.
She wasn’t quite so cocky when she got back to the house and saw that Jesse still hadn’t arrived. Still, she knew he’d get there when he could and there was a lot of hay to be put away, so she started to work, pulling the truck up as closely to the hay shed as she could get it and yanking to dislodge bales from the side of the wagon.
She had only thrown about 20 bales off the wagon before she was huffing with exertion. It took a tremendous amount of aerobic activity to walk carefully around the bales once she got into the wagon, bend over, pull one out that wasn’t wedged too tightly by its neighbours, and heave it towards the shed. The sun was already starting to beat down on her head, too, and she cursed herself for not bringing out bottles of water and a straw hat ahead of time.
She got another 20 out before she was gasping for breath and had to take a break. She had just found a stable bale to sit down on when she heard Jesse calling her name from the house. She stood up again and waved him down, then shouted to him to grab some water from the fridge and to look for a hat for her. He gave her the thumbs up and headed into the house.
They quickly worked out a routine between the two of them. Lori remained on the wagon, letting gravity help her and tossing bales onto the ground, while Jesse grabbed them from the surrounding grass and carried them into the hay shed, stacking as he went. There was a certain amount of art to stacking hay properly – to utilize space and keep the pile safe, you had to alternate back and forth, stacking perpendicularly as you went. Not all of the bales were the same size, either, so it became as challenging as putting together a puzzle – the right sized-bale had to be found for each hole. Still they found time between bales to chat with each other and catch up on the events going on in both their lives. When Lori emptied the first wagon, she headed off to get another, leaving Jesse behind to continue stacking. In this manner, they had emptied three wagons before lunch and had four more to do in the afternoon.
On her way back with the fourth load, Lori stopped at the local pizza place along the way and picked up a large pizza, some chicken wings and pop for the two of them. They took a break when she returned and sat on makeshift hay furniture to eat in a companionable silence. Lori was tired but knew they’d be able to finish it today. As she ate, she pulled off her straw hat, grabbed one of the towels she’d brought out to soak up sweat and poured half of one of the bottles of water onto it. She ran that through her sweat-drenched hair and gasped at how cold it was. Still, it felt good and she scrubbed it across her face, too, in order to cool down.
She looked up to see Jesse watching her with a small smile on his face and she blushed slightly. She was suddenly, acutely aware that the sweat was clinging to her tank top, too, so she draped the towel around her shoulders when she was done. She hadn’t put make-up on today and had dressed as cool as possible, bearing in mind that the hay was horrid on bare skin, causing a thousand little cuts as it brushed up against her. She had her trusty jeans on but had opted for the sleeveless shirt instead of a long-sleeved one, purely because of the weather. Simply put, she had come to work hard today and hadn’t cared what anyone seeing her would think. But that didn’t stop her from being self-conscious when a male was sitting across from her.
Jesse, for his part, didn’t seem to notice. He had been particularly quiet for most of the meal and Lori thought there was maybe just a shadow of discontent lurking in his eyes. She hoped it wasn’t because of her – she didn’t want to be an inconvenience to him, but hadn’t come up with any other way to get this job done. Still, it probably wouldn’t hurt to thank him one more time.
“Jesse, I want you to know how much I appreciate you coming over here today and helping. I don’t know how I could have done this without you.” She laughed in jest and said, “They probably would have found my corpse, buried under a pile of hay a week from now.”
She realized at once it was the wrong thing to say, what with his brother dead less than two months now. He winced slightly and set his drink down. “Don’t joke like that,” he murmured.
“Yeah – I’m sorry. I knew as it was coming out of my mouth, it was in poor taste.” She looked down, ashamed, and picked at a head of timothy that was sticking out of the bale she was sitting on.
He nudged her foot with his boot and she met his blue eyes again. “It’s ok – no harm done.”
He sighed heavily, though, and gave her a piercing look. He started a couple of times to say something, but seemed to think differently and stopped. Finally, he tossed the crust of his last slice of pizza onto his paper plate in frustration and leaned forward. “Lori, do you think there’s any way you could hire some local kids to do this for you the next time you have a delivery coming in October?”
Lori felt the blood leave her face and she grew still. She cleared her throat and nodded slightly. “Um...sure, Jesse. I’m not sure what my financial situation will be like, but I’ll think of something. I’m really sorry you had to bail me out this time.”
He gave her a look of profound regret, bit his lip and sighed heavily again through his nose.
Lori rubbed her fingers across her lips, trying to come up with a solution that would smooth things between them. “I’ve got a bit of money left over from the sale of the horses – I can pay you for your time today.”
He stood up abruptly at that and towered over her. “Stop it,” he ordered. “That’s not why I asked – I don’t want your money.”
She shrank back from him and looked up with uncertainty, not knowing what to do or say to make this right again. He seemed to be aware of how imposing he was and took a step back, running his hands through his hair in frustration.
“Look,” he said, dropping to a squat to the left of her and looking her in the eyes. “I don’t really want to get into the whole thing, but I was late this morning because Anne and I had an argument.”
He softened his voice and rested his hands on his knees as he continued. “She’s under this ridiculous impression that I’ve got a ‘thing’ for you. She doesn’t want
me to be around you alone anymore.”
He crossed his arms, resting his elbows on his knees now and passed a hand over his chin in thought. “Lori, you’re attractive and a good person, but you were also my brother’s wife and I assure you that I’m not attracted to you in that way. If anything, I’m just really protective and worried to death about you, being here alone all the time.” He watched her reaction to that and then shook his head slightly. “But I can’t seem to get Anne to understand that. I’m really sorry, too.”
Lori exhaled softly in sadness and reached out to squeeze his arm. “It’s okay. I know you don’t think of me in any way other than as part of your family – just like your other brothers, sisters and in-laws. And that means the world to me, to be under your protection. But I don’t want to upset Anne, either. I understand. Do you need to get back?”
“No, I’ll help you finish up,” he said as he stood up and started cleaning up the plates and empty cans. “I’m here now and Anne will be okay. But I just wanted to warn you that I probably won’t be able to help out or see you anymore – at least for awhile – without it being a family event.”
Lori stood up, too, and put the hay bales onto the stack in the shed. “That’s alright. It’s understandable.”
They finished the day more subdued, Lori throwing bales and wondering how on earth she was going to afford help with the hay in the fall. She resigned herself not to worry about it until it happened, though, and they continued on in silence. When she returned the last empty wagon to the farmer and arrived back at the farm, Jesse was finished with the stacking and was standing on the front porch.
Lori could tell he was anxious to get going; she got out of her truck and walked up the steps to where he was sitting on the wooden railing.
“Well, kiddo – I guess I’ll call it a day,” he said, pushing away from the support.
