His intensity made her heart race. And then he relaxed and melted into a smile. Reaching out a hand, he pulled her from the sofa. “The gute part of the date was that Lydia didn’t eat her cheese fries. I thought you might like them.”
Beth gave him a half smile. Did he ever go one minute without thinking of something thoughtful to do? “She must have been in quite a hurry. How could anyone abandon cheese fries?”
Bleary eyed, Mammi and Dawdi shuffled into the great room. Mammi wore a cozy flannel nightgown and a fuzzy purple knitted cap. Dawdi had donned his trousers and suspenders over an oversized nightshirt.
“Tyler,” Dawdi said. “How nice to see you. Did you hurt yourself?”
Beth gave Mammi a swift hug. “I’m sorry. I hoped you’d sleep through all the commotion.”
“What commotion?” Mammi asked as she let her eyes adjust to the light. “Felty feels a little cold coming on, and I thought I would make him some peppermint tea.”
Mammi’s mouth drooped into a puzzled frown as she looked at the mess Isaac had made when he’d shoved Beth’s supplies off the table. “Oh, I see you’ve already cleared off the table.”
“I’ll make the tea, Mammi.”
Tyler found a small frying pan and retrieved the take-out bag of cheese fries from the table. He must have deposited them there when he’d first come in. “Would you like some cheese fries?”
Dawdi pulled out a chair for Mammi. “Why not? I’ve already got heartburn.”
Mammi took a good look at Tyler’s face. “What happened to you?”
Tyler shared a secret smile with Beth. “I had a very bad date tonight.”
“Oh, dear,” Mammi said. “I told Beth it was a bad idea to try to find you a wife when I already made plans for you. I hope you’ll stop all this nonsense before someone gets hurt.”
Before someone gets hurt.
Jah, Tyler should stop all his nonsense before someone got hurt. Beth couldn’t pull her eyes from his face as he stirred the cheese fries in the skillet. He was so handsome, so kind. How would she ever resist him?
Beth couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that if anyone was going to get hurt, it would be her.
Chapter Fourteen
Tyler folded up his coat collar and blew on his hands as he jumped from the buggy. Aden had told him there was something called global warming going on, but today, such a thing didn’t seem possible. His breath hung in the air as he helped Dat unhitch the horse and lead it to the Shrocks’ barn.
Mamm and Joe didn’t wait, but headed for the warmth of the house. No one should be out for long on a day like this.
Dat would be joining Beth’s brother and Mary Shrock in marriage today. Beth’s brother, like many of Anna and Felty’s posterity, was tall and lanky with pleasant features. The Helmuths had a reputation as a handsome family. Beth was the prettiest one of the bunch.
Tyler emerged from the barn with his dat as Anna and Felty drove up the lane. His heart clanked against his ribs. Beth would be with them.
Dat went into the house, and Tyler ran to help the Helmuths with their buggy. By the time Tyler got close enough to help, Anna had already jumped out. “Well, Tyler, dear,” she said, giving him a firm pat on the arm, “that bump on your head is looking much better. And your lip isn’t swollen at all. Did you use the helichrysum I gave you?”
Tyler reached into the buggy and took Toby from Beth’s arms. “Jah. I rubbed it on my eyebrow every day.”
“It did the trick.”
Toby, bundled in a thick little coat and sporting a beanie likely knitted by Anna, grinned and revealed a mouth full of tiny white teeth. “Mommy,” he said, before resting his head on Tyler’s shoulder and getting comfortable there.
Beth looked stunning in her crisp white kapp with a gray and black fuzzy scarf around her throat. Tyler offered her his hand. She hopped out of the buggy and rewarded him with a dazzling smile and a glimpse of that dimple.
“Better get to the house,” Tyler said, “or you’ll catch your death of cold out here.”
Anna reached into the buggy and pulled out a cake pan covered with tinfoil. “I know the groom’s family isn’t expected to help with the meal, but I wanted to bring a little treat to go along with dinner. It’s a recipe I made up.”
With some concern, Tyler glanced at Anna’s pan. Anna didn’t have much luck even when she used a recipe. The lack of a recipe might prove to be disastrous. She pulled back the tinfoil and let Tyler have a peek at her concoction. Grated carrots and bite-sized slices of dill pickles floated in a murky sea of green gelatin. “It looks delicious.”
Her eyes sparkled. “I’ll save a big helping for you.”
Tyler swallowed hard. He’d have to eat at least three healthy servings to spare Anna’s feelings.
Tyler transferred Toby to Beth’s arms and slipped his hand under one of the straps securing the horse to the buggy. “You go in, Felty. I’ll see he gets stabled.”
Felty winked and worked his gnarled fingers under the strap. “A young fellow like you might need a little help.”
Beth put Toby on the ground and took his hand. “Cum, Mammi. It’s cold out here.”
Once they unhitched the horse, Tyler walked alongside as Felty led the horse to the barn. Felty wore a neon-orange scarf the like of which Tyler had never seen. “That is quite the scarf,” Tyler said.
Felty grinned and nodded. “I won’t be shot by a deer hunter.”
“That’s for certain.”
“It’s a mite fancy, I know, but I didn’t have the heart to tell Anna. She loves her knitting needles. She and Beth are two peas in a pod. Anna stayed up ’til all hours knitting scarves, and Beth kept her company finishing a dress. She’s wearing herself mighty thin.”
Tyler massaged the back of his neck. “I know.”
Felty put out some oats for the horse. “She could use a gute man to take care of her.”
Didn’t he know it. “She’s a little stubborn when it comes to talk of marriage.”
“Stubborn like her mammi. Her best quality.”
Tyler smiled to himself. Truer words were never spoken.
“That brother-in-law of hers won’t let her be.”
A knot formed right between Tyler’s eyebrows. “Isaac? He’s been back?”
“Nae, but he writes her letters. Three or four times a week. I’ve been tempted to feed them to the fire before Beth even sees them. They upset her something wonderful.”
“What do they say?”
“Nothing that makes her happy, I expect.”
Tyler forced himself to take a deep, calming breath even as he felt as if Felty’s horse had kicked him in the chest. No doubt Isaac’s letters pressured Beth to return to Nappanee. Who knew what cruel manipulation Isaac used on paper? Tyler’s blood heated up as if he were standing in the center of a raging forest fire. How dare Isaac do anything to upset sweet, gentle Beth? Tyler would not allow it. Isaac could not be allowed to harass Beth while Tyler had the power to do something about it. Even if Beth didn’t want his protection, he was determined to give it. He wouldn’t stand for any harm to come to her or Toby. “Denki for telling me.”
Felty slapped Tyler on the shoulder. “Don’t tell Beth. She doesn’t think I pay attention. I’d like to keep it that way.”
They walked out of the barn, and Felty broke into a chorus of “Joy to the World” as he tromped toward the front door. Tyler immediately heard the sound of Toby’s crying carried on the wind. He jogged around the side of the house and caught sight of Beth kneeling beside Toby as she struggled to disentangle him from a thorny rosebush. The spiky thorns had snagged his coat and the more he struggled to break free, the harder he stuck. He wailed in displeasure.
“Hold still,” Beth cooed as she tried to free his coat and keep Toby from scratching his hands and face at the same time.
Tyler grabbed Toby’s little hands and shielded his face from the unforgiving spikes as Beth pulled the branches away from his coat. The bare bushes finally rel
eased him, and Beth pulled him a few feet away to check for wounds. A small scratch on his hand and a tiny spot of blood on his ear were his only battle scars. She kissed his chubby cheek. “He took off running straight to the bush and ran even faster when I told him no. Then he started whacking at it just to spite me. If I tell him not to do something, it’s the first thing he wants to try, as if he doesn’t trust me to know where the trouble is. Last week he threw a tantrum because I wouldn’t let him get run over by a car.”
Tyler took out his handkerchief and dabbed at Toby’s nose and then picked him up. “Sounds like he wants to learn things the hard way.”
“He doesn’t know that he’d really rather not get his finger sewn into one of my dresses.”
Tyler couldn’t resist brushing his fingers against the silky softness of Beth’s scarf. “That yarn color is very pretty against your skin.” Beth didn’t like compliments, but her beauty begged to be noticed.
She blushed and smoothed a lock of hair from his forehead. He felt the sparks to the tips of his toes. “Your head looks a lot better. It’s just a yellow bruise now, like a smear of mustard on your eyebrow.”
“That is mustard. I’m a messy eater.”
She giggled. “You and Toby should be best friends.”
He wanted to stand there forever gazing into her eyes, except it was pretty cold out there and they’d be a pair of icicles if they stayed out much longer.
She broke eye contact first and cleared her throat as her smile faded. “So, are you ready for your next date?”
He tried not to frown. She’d think she had upset him. “After my string of disastrous experiences, I hoped you’d given up. Christmas is in a few weeks. Let’s put the whole thing off until January.”
“A wedding is the perfect time to meet a new girl. Erla Glick is expecting you to sit by her during the singing. Strike up a conversation and ask her on a date.”
She had no inkling that his hopes for spending a sublime day with Beth had just burst like a hundred defective balloons. Erla Glick seemed like a nice girl. She lived in Tyler’s district and had brown hair and had once gone cliff diving in the jungles of Mexico. He wasn’t interested. “And what are you going to do while I’m having a gute time with Erla Glick?”
“Oh, I’ll sit with the family and listen to Onkel Perry tell the same jokes he tells every year. Maybe I’ll even go home early and take a nap with Toby.”
Tyler pressed his lips together. Weariness etched lines around Beth’s usually bright eyes. “You’re not getting enough sleep.”
She brushed some imaginary lint off Toby’s coat. “I have lots of orders. I’ll rest after the Christmas rush.”
He lifted his hand to caress her silky-soft cheek and thought better of it. She’d take it as a sign of pity or some other emotion that Tyler couldn’t guess at. “Mamm and Dat can cover for me at the dairy. I could come over tomorrow and play with Toby so you can sew.”
“I’ll get it done. Mammi and Dawdi are watching out for me.”
“Felty and Anna are in their eighties. They need someone to watch out for them.”
“The four of us do just fine.”
“You do better than fine, Beth. That’s not the point.”
She held up her hand. He shut his mouth. “I don’t want to be your service project, Tyler.”
“You need help.”
“You think I’m helpless.”
Tyler felt his temperature rise at her accusation. She was the most exasperating woman he’d ever locked horns with. “You’re not helpless. You’re stubborn as a mule, Beth Hostetler.”
She widened her eyes in surprise and chuckled. Tyler wanted to kick himself. This was a serious conversation, but all he could think about at the moment was how much he loved the sound of her laughter.
“That’s the first time you’ve ever fought back,” she said. “I like it when you fight back. I don’t feel so guilty for attacking you.”
He stifled a smile and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to call you stubborn.”
Her eyes twinkled. “Don’t back down now. You were just getting warmed up.”
Beth wanted to make light of it, but he couldn’t let the moment go to waste. “Beth, you do the work of a mother and a father. I don’t think you’re helpless. I think you’re wearing yourself out.”
“Well, I don’t need a husband, if that’s what you’re hinting at.”
“I wouldn’t dare hint at anything like that. I thought you might want me to come over and sweep something.”
She huffed and bit her bottom lip. “I was tempted, you know.”
“What?”
“When you asked me to marry you, I was tempted to accept. Marriage seems like such an easy way out of so many troubles. It’s hard to raise a son alone.” She sighed. “But a bad marriage is so much worse.”
A sharp ache seized Tyler’s chest. “You think I’d be a bad husband.”
She sighed in resignation. “Nae. But I didn’t think Amos would be a bad husband when I first met him either.”
She might as well have slapped him across the face. “I am not Amos.”
Her voice caught in her throat. “I’m sorry, Tyler. I’ve let my mouth run wild again.”
He tried to catch his breath and give her a reassuring grin. It probably came out more like a wince.
She returned a fake smile and wrapped her fingers around his upper arm. With a gentle nudge, she led him toward the house. “I don’t want to quarrel. This should be a joyous day. My brother is getting married, and you are going to be with Erla Glick. Let’s go have fun.”
Tyler tightened his arms around Toby and let Beth lead him into the house. He had never faced such a joyous occasion with such a heavy heart.
Tyler didn’t hear one word of the sermon and didn’t remember singing one hymn. The bride and groom didn’t even make much of an impression. Beth filled his vision. She sat on the first row with some of her family, her hands folded in her lap, oblivious to the fact that every piece of Tyler’s heart focused on her and only her. A slight movement of the stuffy air teased a wisp of hair at the nape of her neck, and Tyler thought he might go mad with the need to smooth it between his fingers.
Forcing his gaze in any direction but hers, he clenched his hands until his knuckles turned white and the sensation subsided. If he didn’t look, the yearning wouldn’t overpower him.
He peered down the row of girls. Beth’s relatives, girls from the district and elsewhere. One of them might be persuaded to marry him if he asked. He shoved his fingers through his hair as the lie he’d been telling himself untangled itself in his brain.
He didn’t want just a companion. His experience with Lily had hurt enough that he had talked himself out of what he truly needed—what God surely wanted for him. He wanted a true wife—a woman he could love the way God wanted him to love. He wanted Beth. And only Beth.
He longed to share every breathless moment of every day with her. He wanted to sift his fingers through her hair and make her laugh and give her children. He wanted to hold her in his arms and show her that she need never be afraid again. And, yes, she’d be mad if she even knew he had the thought, but he wanted to rescue her, to help her be whole. To love her so well that she would willingly risk her heart again.
For a moment, the intense emotions swirling about him turned to rage as he thought of Amos Hostetler and what he had done to Beth. He had destroyed her trust in men and her faith on God.
It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, than that he should offend one of these little ones . . .
Tyler relaxed his fists and let the fury pass through him like wind through the bare trees. He had no right to judge Amos. His sins had most likely been inherited from his father and his father’s father before him. Who knew what scars of abuse the generations had passed on to him?
Tyler would do everything in his power to see that Beth would not have to live with those scars.
Nae, not every
thing in his power. He had no power at all. It would have to be through God’s power and grace.
Tyler bowed his head as the bride and groom stood to take their vows. Not knowing what else to ask for, he pled from his very soul. Dear Heavenly Father, show me the way.
He didn’t multiply many words, for God would understand the depths of his longing.
When he opened his eyes, the entire service was over. The room seemed to explode into a beehive of activity as women and men rose to prepare for the wedding dinner. In a stupor, Tyler stood, and two men took the bench right out from under him.
“Tyler Yoder.” A tall, slender girl held out her hand and expected him to take it.
He attempted a look of enthusiasm. “Erla Glick,” he said. “Beth says we’re supposed to get to know each other.”
“Come on,” she said. “I’ll show you the way.”
Green gelatin mixed with pickles tended to be watery. That didn’t stop Tyler from helping himself to a liberal amount of Anna’s concoction at dinner. No one else but Felty would eat it, and Tyler didn’t want Anna to get her feelings hurt. After the meal, the gelatin sloshed around in his stomach as he and Erla Glick sat on one of the benches and sang with the rest of the young people. The bride’s mother handed out pieces of moist pineapple upside-down cake, and Tyler felt compelled to take one, even though he thought he might explode.
“There are some New Order Amish building an orphanage in Mexico,” Erla said, though Tyler barely listened. His gaze kept wandering to the kitchen, where he spied Beth sitting at the table with Toby in her lap, sharing a laugh and a piece of cake with one of her cousins. If she knew how much he suffered at this very moment, would she even care? Or would she stomp her foot and tell him to quit trying to rescue her?
She tapped her fork to her mouth. He wished he were that fork. What he wouldn’t give for a taste of those lips. Tyler swiped his hand across his eyes and reined in his thoughts. No good taking them in that direction. He’d only drive himself crazy.
“There is so much need there,” Erla said. “The poverty and crime are astounding.”
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