“Am I right?” Mom prodded, the words teasing, although she looked on me with a slow tenderness as she ribbed me. She knew I’d always been private about these things, only because I’d never had enough courage to tell her.
I’d come so close to telling her that night. Terrified and shaking, I’d gotten as far as her bedroom door, ready to confide in her. But I’d frozen, paralyzed, when I heard her crying behind it, the vibration of Dad’s harsh, angry voice overriding her tears. After more minutes than I could count, I’d turned to find Christopher staring at me in shocked disbelief, as if all of us were set adrift and had been scattered to deal with things none of us could handle.
Never again had I mentioned his name. That’s the way we’d all handled it until the day he returned.
“Aren’t you always?” I hopped up onto the counter and swung my legs the way I did when I was a little girl.
Amused lines deepened at the corners of Mom’s eyes. “No, not always. Most of the time,” she added with a wink, “but not always.” She leaned up on the counter next to me. “So, tell me about this boy who makes those green eyes dance.”
I squeezed both shoulders in a confused shrug and blew the air from my pursed lips. How could Jared be contained by simple words? I looked at her, and again I could feel the admission trembling on my lips. “He scares me, Mom.”
She stilled, her hand clamping down on her glass before she shakily set it down and turned to face me. “What do you mean, he scares you? Aly – ”
“No, not like that, Mom.” I cut her off, struggling for words. “It’s just… it hurts to care about him so much.” It always had and it felt good to finally admit it aloud.
She searched my face. “Oh my God, Aly… you love him?”
I didn’t answer.
“How long have you been seeing him? I don’t… Who is he?” Mom seemed to flounder through her thoughts, like maybe it stung that I was just telling her this now.
Guilt swept through me. After all these years, I was still keeping him a secret. “I don’t even know what we are, Mom. I just care about him, so much, and when we’re together I… ” I frowned, blinked, then let the truth flow free. “It feels like the best thing that ever happened to me.”
She moved in front of me and softly ran a lock of my hair through two of her fingers, this wistful expression on her face. “Love is the best thing that will ever happen to you, Aly.”
Slowly I nodded as I let her words take hold. My voice was rough. “Thank you, Mom. You don’t know how much I needed to hear that.”
“You know that’s what I’m here for,” she whispered. Then she shook herself off and stepped back, her voice returning to normal. “So, when do I get to meet this mystery man? Oh, why don’t you bring him over for dinner?” she asked, clearly excited by the proposition.
“I don’t think we’re quite there yet. But someday.” I could only hope.
Doubt chipped a little fissure in my belief. Jared had made me no promises. And it was true, I didn’t even know what we were. I only had the promise of his touch, only knew he looked at me the same way I looked at him. That was what buoyed me, what filled me with faith.
Mom frowned and regarded me seriously. “I know you’re grown, Aly, but I would really like to meet him.”
Just then a key rattled the lock in the front door. Mom reached for her tea glass as we heard the heavy footfalls of someone entering the house.
Was it terrible I was thanking God for the interruption? But I didn’t know how much more information I could give Mom now before it all became obvious.
Augustyn walked into the kitchen, tearing a sweaty T-shirt over his head. He wore basketball shorts and tennis shoes, his deeply tanned skin gleaming with moisture. I sometimes wondered how Mom and Dad had raised such a jock when Christopher and I were anything but.
He smiled wide. “Aly! I was excited to see your car out front. How are you?”
“I’m doing really good. I’ve been missing you, though,” I said with all honesty.
He didn’t hesitate to envelope me in a hot, sweaty hug. “I know. Me, too.” Aug’s voice had permanently roughened, thickened like a man’s. It made me smile.
“So, guess what I found out today,” he said as he drew back, grinning with pride. “You are looking at our first-string quarterback. They announced the selections today.”
“Really?” I jumped off the counter and hugged him again. “Congratulations.”
Mom nearly tackled him. “You did? Aug, I’m so proud of you.”
I was all mixed up in their embrace and it felt really great.
When Augustyn had his fill of pats and hugs and congrats, he pulled back. Mom pointed at him. “And you stink. You need to take a shower.”
Laughing, he backed away. “Think I’m just going to take a swim. Dad’s out there anyway, and he told me he was supposed to be the first to know.” Aug lifted his chin in my direction. “It really was good to see you, Aly.” He slid the sliding glass door open and smirked at me from over his shoulder. “And tell Megan I said hi.”
My mouth dropped open in feigned disgust, my lips animated in silent embellishment. Gross.
He laughed and the door slid shut behind him.
I turned back to Mom. “I think I’m going to head home.”
Disappointment flashed across her face and she huffed out a frustrated breath. “Fine, but honestly, Aly. Don’t shut me out, okay?”
I nodded, though I wasn’t sure I could keep that promise. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to. God, Christopher had asked me not to even mention that Jared was staying with us, and Jared definitely didn’t want Christopher knowing about us. I wasn’t sure that I did, either. I was pretty sure Christopher would freak out. No doubt my dad would freak out. And their knowing would undoubtedly throw Jared over the edge.
“Love you, Mom.” I hugged her close to me, her touch tender as she rubbed my lower back.
“Love you, too.” She pulled back and held my face. “I’m happy for you… whoever he is.”
I bit at my lip as his name danced on my tongue. I realized how much I wanted her to know. I swallowed. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Okay,” she said.
I headed for the door.
“And be safe,” she hollered after me.
Shaking my head I smiled and pulled the door shut behind me.
Outside, it was humid, the sky overhead cast in a shimmering blue. Instantly sweat clung to my skin, and I squinted up into the blinding Arizona sun. Heavy cumulous clouds gathered far to the south, built and piled as they stretched toward the heavens and slowly encroached upon the city.
The monsoon was here.
Starting my car, I made my way across town. I slipped through the gate. Anxious excitement caused a stir of butterflies to take flight in my stomach when I rounded the corner.
Jared rode just ahead of me, and he used his feet to back his sleek bike into the spot he always parked it in. He came to a standstill facing out. His booted feet were stretched out wide, balancing the metal between his legs. He wore his typical dark low-slung jeans and a black tee that exposed the story woven over the strength of his arms. The bold numbers strewn across his knuckles sat prominent where he gripped and flexed at the handlebars. That gorgeous face remained stoic, almost hard, but his hair was wild, untamed from where it had been battered by the wind.
I lost my breath.
Last night I’d spoken the truth when I reached out to touch his face, this coarse beauty that was something utterly terrifying and altogether captivating.
I struggled to smother my reaction to seeing him, gathered my things, and climbed out of the car. Jared swung his leg over his bike and retrieved a couple of grocery bags from the leather pouches hanging on each side of the long seat.
“Hey.” I crossed the lot, approaching him. I was seriously doubting my ability to play it cool when he looked like that. Or when he looked at me like that.
He turned just as I came up behind him, roughi
ng a hand through his hair, which I was itching to do myself. His smile was slow, and his gaze swept over me, head to toe, then traveled back up again. “Hey,” he said with a smirk quirking his mouth.
How the hell were we supposed to manage this? Because all I really wanted to do was crush myself to him, to press my lips to his to find out if it would feel just as good as it did last night.
That place in the deepest part of my stomach fluttered, sure that it definitely would. Memories of his touch slammed into me, tickled along my flesh, and I couldn’t help blushing when I thought that I couldn’t wait until he did it again.
His smirk grew right along with the redness on my face.
Yeah, the boy could read my mind.
I turned away and started up the steps. He was right behind me, his presence thick – consuming. My heart thudded.
Fingertips grazed up the sensitive skin at the back of my neck. Chills raced down my spine. Just at the door, he pressed his chest to my back, bent over to graze his nose along my jaw before he whispered in my ear, “You were gone longer than you said. Were you trying to make me worry about you?” His voice came out in a slow rasp of accusation and his hand ran up my arm to hold on to the cap of my shoulder. “You already drive me crazy when I’m around you.” He edged his fingers down to the neckline of my shirt and teased at the skin. “Do you plan on driving me crazy when you’re gone, too?”
I sucked in a shaky breath. “I just stopped by to see my parents.”
His palm slipped up to hold me at the neck, the slight pressure lifting my jaw. “I hated not knowing where you were… when you would come.” His tone was hard, and my pulse stuttered. Jared held me there, his nose skimming along the base of my neck as he breathed me in. “I don’t know what the hell we’re doing, Aly, but whatever it is, I can hardly stand it.”
Abruptly he stepped back, and I stood there gasping for air. Desire crawled along the surface of my skin and sank deep into my bones. God, I didn’t know how to handle this, the impulse to turn and lose myself in him.
Wetting my lips, I worked my face into a neutral expression. I unlocked the door and stepped inside. Christopher was there, sitting on the couch in the same spot I’d left him in this morning.
Jared’s voice startled me from behind. “Look who I ran into downstairs.”
Christopher cut his attention back to us, gestured his hello. “How was work?”
I forced myself to act normal and dropped my bag to the floor just inside the door. “It was pretty good. Stopped by Mom and Dad’s to tell everyone hi after I got off. Augustyn made first string. You should give him a call.”
“No way,” Christopher said, pushing back the hair that had fallen in his eyes. “That is seriously cool. I’ll give him a call. Damn, I need to make more time to hang out with him.” He’d started to mumble, talking mostly to himself.
I smiled as I walked past him. “I know, I know… has to be so tough carving out a couple hours from your tiresome summer schedule of no school or work,” I teased.
Christopher rolled his eyes. “Ha-ha.”
I headed for the hall. “I’m going to change really quick.”
Snapping shut the door behind me, I stood in the refuge of my room. My attention traveled to the tangled sheets of my bed that had become like a sanctuary, the safest place, where Jared and I were free and our mouths whispered and our hands touched.
And I prayed for darkness because I couldn’t wait until he held me there again.
I tugged the tight rubber band free from my hair, let it fall loose, and changed into some shorts and a clean tank top. Contentment spread through my entire body, and I inhaled deeply as I let go of all the stress I’d allowed to slowly build and invade, allowed to encroach and taint my thoughts.
In the end, all that mattered was he was here.
We spent the afternoon relaxing in front of the TV. I loved it, the feeling that things were the way they were supposed to be, just Jared, Christopher, and me. I lay on the floor while the two of them sat on the couch. Often I would catch Jared stealing glances at me, his eyes soft as they caressed my body. It was as if he managed to touch me without ever laying a hand on me. I shivered and hugged myself, longing for time to pass because I couldn’t wait to be back in his arms.
Night dimmed the sky, and a dense calm hovered in the room as the day bled away. Jared sank deeper into the couch, his legs extending farther and farther out in front of him. His feet rested on the sides of my head, flanking me, casual, but with a presence that warmed my soul. I yawned and settled into the comfort of it.
Christopher jumped to his feet. “I can’t stand to sit around here any longer. Let’s go play pool or something.”
“Ugh, Christopher, I’m half-asleep over here,” I said, rubbing my eyes with the heels of my hands.
He pointed at me as he headed for the hall. “Exactly. That’s why we’re getting out of here. It’s nine o’clock at night, and I’ve been sitting on my ass all day.”
Warily, I tipped my head back to peek up at Jared, and frowned.
He just idly smiled and nudged me in the shoulder with his foot. “Get up, lazy girl. We’re going out.”
Charlie’s was Christopher’s favorite dive bar. There were plenty of pool tables, the drinks were cheap, and one band or another was playing almost every night. I pulled into the overflowing parking lot and the three of us climbed out of my car. The draw of this place was easily understood. Most appealing to the city’s delinquents had to be the fact that they didn’t card at the door. Christopher had been coming here for years and began dragging me along when I moved in with him.
We made our way through the groups of people huddled outside and entered through the large wooden double doors. Inside, it was dingy, dank, the lights cast low. Old neon bar signs glowed from the walls, and hardwood planks covered the grimy floors. Straight back was a large horseshoe bar, surrounded by at least twenty stools. Three or four bartenders contended with the overeager patrons, and waitresses rushed between the high, round tables that claimed the space directly in front of the bar. Music blared from overhead speakers, and to the right was a small stage where a band flitted around preparing for their set. A few couples danced within the boundaries of the smooth dance floor facing the stage. To the left and extending farther down the side were rows and rows of pool tables. Vintage stained glass billiards lights swung from the rafters, illuminating the well-worn felt tables below. Just like the parking lot outside, the place was packed.
Christopher elbowed Jared to get his attention. “I’ll go grab us a couple of beers. You want to get us a table?”
“Sure.”
Christopher lifted his chin toward me. “You want anything?”
“Um, would you get me a Coke?”
It hadn’t taken much for him to convince me to be DD.
He grinned, walking backward. “A Coke it is.” He turned and disappeared into the crowd.
Jared’s attention trailed him until the second he was out of sight. As soon as he was, Jared reached for my hand, squeezing it as he drew it to his mouth. A subdued groan vibrated against my skin. His blue eyes were all warm when he looked down at me. “I’ve been dying to touch you for hours. Do you have any idea how much, Aly?” He pressed my palm to his nose. When he pulled back, he was biting at his full lower lip, something like confused wonder slipping through his expression as his eyes roamed over my face. A smile suddenly widened his mouth, and he folded my hand in his and tugged. “Come on, let’s find a table.”
My grin was uncontrollable as he wove us through the crowd. I loved this feeling, like we were natural and meant to be. We found an open pool table in the far back. He picked a cue and helped me do the same, and I watched as he leaned over to rack the balls. He grinned back at me, all sly and cocky.
This side of Jared was so unexpected, this boy who smiled so effortlessly, as if for the moment his pain had been suspended and he’d been granted a reprieve. I wondered if he noticed the stirring of joy I witne
ssed in his eyes or if he was so conditioned he could only recognize the bleakness glutting his heart and mind.
I had the overwhelming urge to approach him from behind, and I thought that was surprising, too. I wanted to run my hand up his back and feel his strength as it rippled and bunched beneath the cover of his shirt, to be intimately reminded of what we had shared last night. I was different with him. Better and worse, too confident and incredibly naive. Jared made me desire things I’d never desired before. It confused me, left me both vacant and filled. Almost complete.
Jared frowned at me as if he’d caught the perplexity of my thoughts. Self-conscious, I dropped my gaze and distracted myself by chalking my cue stick. The band struck up, lifting the din in the bar to deafening levels. Christopher returned with the beers and my soda.
Come to Me Quietly (Closer to You) Page 18
