Aly arched up as if she ached.
I grasped her perfect face between firm hands, my hold just as commanding as my mouth. Consumed, I pressed the length of my body into hers, blanketing her as my forearms fell to the bed to support my weight.
I wanted to possess her. Take her.
Fuck.
I wanted it all.
Aly moaned as her fingers threaded in my hair. She murmured assurances at my mouth in between our desperate bid to bring each other closer, our mouths just as frantic as the beating of her heart. “It’s you, Jared… you… only you.”
Growling, I pulled back, my fingers spreading out over the back of her head as my thumbs rushed along her delicate jaw. We were nose-to-nose, and I was unable to discern the sharp gasps of air she drew into her lungs from mine. The words scraped from my throat. “Did you tell him that you’re mine?” My hands tightened, underscoring the madness she created in me. “Did you tell him that you belong to me?”
Those green eyes darkened, hinted at her fears, spoke of her desires. “Do I?” came as a plea from between her full lips.
My heart skidded, and the frenzy that had racked my body stilled.
Obviously, it was me who belonged to her.
I ran my thumb along her jaw, smiled softly at the girl. Her eyes searched, begged, everything about her perfect and kind.
My chest squeezed.
Fuck. I was in so deep.
“Aleena,” I whispered, before I brushed my lips across hers.
A statement.
She was the only one who’d touched me in years, the only one who’d made me feel.
Tipping her chin up, she met my eye, her fingers gentle as they fluttered across my face. “You,” she quietly murmured.
I smoothed the back of my hand down the flush on her cheek. Her mouth dropped open as she leaned into my touch. Joy teased along the fringes of my consciousness, quivered, and rose. This – this was our deception, where I wanted to live until the day I died. Where nothing was real but the secrets we whispered in the night.
I shifted to my hands and knees, bending my elbows as I dropped my shoulders down to kiss her softly, slowly. Because I never wanted it to end. Our tongues played.
And I reveled in this fantasy.
Aly cupped my face, lightly scratching her nails through the stubble coating my jaw, her smile warm. Tingles spread and coiled, flaring the unending need for her that seemed to never let go.
Gentle hands roamed over my shoulders, down my back, unhurried, just as unhurried as our kiss. I sucked in a ragged breath when she ran both of her index fingers just under the waistband of my jeans, dipping them into the two dimples peeking out just above my hips.
Flames scorched my already heated skin.
God, the girl set me on fire. Innocent and sweet, and still the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.
“Aly, what are you doing?” I warned.
She just nipped at my chin and flirted with the hem of my shirt, before she flattened both palms on the small of my back and slipped them up my skin, taking the shirt with her as she went.
I lowered my weight to my elbows and ducked my head to twist out of the shirt as Aly dragged it over my head. She giggled lightly when she did. There was something so pure about her smile. It set me reeling, and I kissed her again, couldn’t stop. I pressed my bare chest against the thin cloth covering her breasts.
My palms wandered down her sides. I pulled at the bottom of her shirt before I edged back enough to slip it up between us. We were a tangle of arms when I tugged it loose, our faces a breath apart.
In the dim light, her hair was the deepest black, her eyes a searing green. For a moment, I just gazed at her, curling a lock of her hair around my index finger. A bond. I didn’t get it, why anchoring myself to her this way felt as if I were home… even when home was what I’d destroyed so long ago.
Aly just stared, her throat bobbing heavily as she swallowed down whatever doubt flashed across her features. Shaky fingers reached out to caress my bottom lip. “I am yours, Jared. Take me.”
Deep inside, I thrashed, a fury of nerves and need and a broken spirit that for the first time felt as if it were almost whole. Fear beat a steady drum and bound itself to my heart. It danced with the guilt, the shame of what I already knew I was about to do.
Because every part of me knew this was fucking wrong.
All except for the part that knew her, wanted her, the part that was drowning in a desire that screamed louder than any lash of fear and hurt worse than any lick of shame.
The part that knew the only thing that mattered was Aly.
My Aly.
I sat up on my knees as I leaned over to work her shorts and panties down her slender legs. I tossed them behind me to the floor.
Aly wet her lips, her chest rising and falling in spastic quakes, her gaze intense. “Jared, please, I need you.”
Lust shot through me as I looked down at her fully exposed, lying back on the bed that had become like a reprieve from the storm that ruled my life. With hungry eyes, I traced the slope of her neck, the swell of her breasts, the curve of her hips. Her knees were bent, her feet planted, her arms draped over her head where her hair was fanned out, framing her perfect face.
No doubt, she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. But tonight, looking at her felt different, felt like maybe I was looking at life. Another lie. One when behind her door, I’d be foolish enough to believe.
I rose from the bed and shed the rest of my clothes.
A small smile whispered at just one side of her mouth as she watched me. Trust I didn’t deserve edged out the fear on her face.
Nudging her knees apart, I climbed back onto the bed and settled between her thighs. I kissed her slowly while my body screamed. I pushed up on one hand and held her face in the other, my thumb caressing the apple of her cheek, searching her eyes for any sign that I should stop.
Her jaw was slack, her skin flushed. Aly arched her back, forcing her chest into mine, her neck extended as she begged for my touch. She lifted her chin as if in supplication, offering herself to me. “I am yours,” she promised again.
Need tumbled through me, surged, and rushed. I groaned into her neck and kissed along the sensitive skin. My nose ran along the ridge of her jaw as I held her by the back of her head. My fingers got lost in the mass of her hair. I pressed a gentle kiss to the hollow beneath her ear, before I turned to the swells of her breasts, devouring her skin, feasting on the pure, taking the good.
“Please,” she begged as she lifted her hips.
Straining, my body begged, warring with the hesitation. I was at her center, rubbing shamelessly against her warmth, our skin bare as I brought us closer than we’d ever been.
My arms caged her, fingers boring into the skin at the base of her scalp, my voice little more than a ragged grunt. “Aly, are you sure? We said we weren’t going to do this.”
She buried her face in my neck and mumbled, “All I want is you.”
It was the thought of being fully lost in her that left me without resolve. We’d spent so many nights as fools, pretending we wouldn’t end up in this very place. Those nights had only been a taste of the pleasure that I knew was now to come.
I’d seen those pink packs of pills in her bathroom a thousand times. And I was clean. I’d checked that shit out after I began sleeping in her bed. No chance would I risk spreading her any filth.
My stomach tightened, and I edged back until I was poised at her center. I barely pressed into her, let her warmth send shivers rushing up my spine as I watched her mouth part and her eyes darken exactly the way I imagined they would.
“Jared.” Aly swallowed frantically. She seemed to be flailing for solid ground. Fingertips dug into the bunched muscles of my shoulders that were held tight in restraint. The nerves that raced across her skin were palpable, lifted as goose bumps, and spread as heat. Aly quivered a smile and exhaled a shaky breath across my face. “I feel you.”
Shit.
I was about to lose all control. I pulled back before I took her deeper. Aly’s legs trembled and she tightened them on my hips.
Her face pinched. “Ow.”
Fuck, I hated myself so badly for doing this. My knees shook, my elbows digging into the bed as my hands fisted in her hair. She was so tight. Painfully tight. I couldn’t fucking breathe as I slowly spread her.
Broke her.
Took what never should have been mine.
“Aleena” wept from my mouth.
Tears gathered in her eyes and streaked down the sides of her face, trailing along the crease of her ears before they disappeared into her hair.
“Fuck, Aly, baby, I’m so sorry… I’m so fucking sorry.”
A smile trembled at her mouth. “Don’t.” Hoarseness coated her voice. “I want this. I want you. It’s just… all of this… it’s perfect.”
A sheen of sweat glistened across her forehead, and strands of hair clung to her dampened face. I swept it back, looking down at the girl who’d completely shaken me as she stared up at me. Her expressive eyes shone with affection.
We just lay there.
Bonded as one.
If I believed in soul mates or any of that shit, I knew she was mine. I could feel it, this connection with her I couldn’t possibly share with anyone else. Like we fit, this fucked-up puzzle that made no sense until we aligned the pieces. But it wasn’t possible. I didn’t get the happy ending, and even if I did, I’d only ruin it. Just like I knew I was ruining her now.
I held myself rigid, refusing to move while she adjusted, while the shock of what I’d taken from her passed. Her uneven breaths slowed and her legs loosened the grip they had on my hips. My thighs shook with the loose thread I had on my control.
I felt the moment she let go. “I’m yours,” she mouthed.
And I took. My body strained, pushed, and pled as hers accepted and gave. I rocked into her again and again. I savored the little pants I forced from the depths of her throat, the way her fingers felt as they cut into my skin. Our bodies burned, heat slicking our stomachs and pooling in the valley between her breasts as I moved with her in a way I’d never moved with anyone before. I mean, how many other girls had I been with? I had no clue. Because they were easily forgotten. But this… being with Aly was different, and I knew I’d never forget.
“Fuck, Aly, you feel so good.” So good. Perfect. Almost as if she were truly mine.
With my words, she whimpered, and I gave myself over to her. Pleasure knotted at the base of my spine and spread down the back of my thighs. I throbbed and ecstasy hit. Spasms jerked through my body, every nerve alive. With my face buried in the crook of her neck, I cried out, her name on my tongue the only fucking thing that made any sense. Gasping, I searched for air, smelled the delicious coconut and the good and the girl. I gathered her up, my face still hidden in her warmth, hugged her to me closer than I ever had before.
“Aly” whispered from my mouth.
My Aly.
I wound a finger in her hair.
I’d given in, chased after her comfort.
Now there’d be hell to pay.
EIGHTEEN
Aleena
Jared had made love to me. Completed me.
We lay on our sides, face-to-face, his warm hand cradling the side of my face. “You beautiful girl,” he murmured, kissing me softly.
Emotion swamped me, filled my heart, and expanded my chest.
“Are you okay?” Jared tilted his head back to read my eyes.
I blinked and whispered, “Yes,” because it was the truth. I was perfect, so long as he stayed.
It was a Friday night, and I stood in front of the TV in the living room, playing DanceStar. Laughter bubbled up from my gut. Music blared from the speakers set up around the TV. I was in front of it, wondering why I couldn’t get my feet to keep up with my brain as I watched the character dancing on the TV and tried to mirror his steps. I held the controller in my left hand. The glowing sensor bulb at the top seemed like the perfect stand-in mic. Without remorse, I screamed Billy Idol’s “Dancing with Myself” into the prop.
I couldn’t hold a tune. Not to save my life.
But tonight, I just didn’t care.
Megan jumped around beside me. Blond hair whipped dangerously close to my face as she swung her head around, completely offbeat.
Christopher sat directly behind her on the couch, and she bounced back to shake her butt in his face. “It’s your duty to shake your booty,” she sang over my fruitless attempt to win points by keeping in tune with the song, her tiny frame wiggling all over.
Yeah. She and Christopher had been doing shots of tequila in the kitchen.
Christopher covered his face with his hands, laughing so hard he fell to his side on the couch. “Holy hell, you two suck so bad.”
I stuck my tongue out at him, then turned and belted the song even louder near Megan’s face, held the mic between us so she could sing along. Giving up on the choreographed moves, the two of us busted out in some impromptu dance, uninhibited and free.
Laughter overtook the words I tried to sing. I’d really never known joy like this. I’d always been happy, but I’d never known the intense satisfaction that came with being loved. It was something that seeped down into the marrow of my bones and pervaded every fiber of my being.
Not once had he told me, but I knew he did. I felt it, even when it clearly was something impossible for Jared to see. Something he didn’t recognize himself. But I took him for what he was, this beautifully broken boy who deserved every touch I gave while I treasured every single one he returned.
On what had become his side of the couch, he sat nursing a beer, his legs casually stretched out in front of him. Playful blue eyes glinted their amusement as he watched us dance in the middle of the living room.
Almost a month had passed since the first time he made love to me. Every day since had been an exploration of hands and tongues and bodies that couldn’t get enough.
The first time had been overwhelming. Painful. Both physically and emotionally. It was as if something had shifted inside me. Captured me. Changed me.
Emotionally, it still remained the same, this intensity that swept through me like wildfire, though now I’d come to crave that feeling.
But physically… I’d just never understood that anything could feel so good.
Shimmying up to him, I shook my shoulders and lowered myself to get level with his face. He laughed softly as he turned his head to the side. Clearly, he was too embarrassed to continue watching me make a fool of myself. His hand came up to rub at his chin when he lifted his perfect face back to me, accosting me with this coy grin that made my stomach flip. Something about it was so incredibly sexy I was about five seconds from revealing us to Christopher.
I hated hiding us.
All I wanted to do was take him by the face and kiss him.
Instead I settled for taking him by the hand. “Come dance with me,” I shouted over the TV that was turned up much too loud.
Redness colored his face, and that smile tipped up on one side. He shook his head. “Not a chance in hell, Aly. I don’t dance.”
I tugged a little. “Please.”
“Ever,” he added, the word emphatic, though his clear eyes still shone.
“What, you expect me and Megan to stand up here and entertain you two all night? Come on. Please,” I almost whined, yanking at his arm. I guess I’d probably had too much to drink, too. “Please.” This time I squeezed.
He just sat there shaking his head in disbelief, but then he seemed to be shaking his head at himself because he couldn’t believe he was giving in. “Fine.”
Pulling him to his feet, I flashed a victorious smile. With his beer secured in one hand, he loosely threaded his fingers with mine in the other.
I danced around him. Twisting, laughing, singing. That grin was back on his gorgeous face, and he lifted his hand over my head and led me into a twirl. Unrestrained, Jared laughe
d and spun me some more.
That intense joy wrapped me tight.
He was happy. I could see it. Feel it. God, I wanted it so badly for him, for this man I cared so deeply for to have a chance to heal. I smiled up at him, couldn’t contain what I felt from bursting from my face.
Wiggling in between us, Megan nudged me aside and stole my spot. Jared took a turn twirling her around. She bumped him once with her hip, then dropped his hand and danced toward me.
Come to Me Quietly (Closer to You) Page 23
