Isabella fussed, and I switched her to the other side. That was a little more awkward, but she got there, and I sighed as she started feeding again.
“Here you go.” Ella returned, placing two mugs on the coffee table.
“Thanks.”
She smiled as she fixed her gaze on my baby. “Zach isn’t even that old, and yet it’s funny how small new babies look.”
“They just grow up so fast. Look at Finn.”
Ella nodded. “He’ll be at school soon.”
I leaned over a little to pick up my cup. “Are you going to have any more?”
She shook her head. “Three is enough. Do you remember how I told you that one day you’d have to take a leap of faith? Zach was mine. And things worked out. We might not be that lucky again. Besides, as much as I love my children, I still want to get time alone with my husband one day.”
“I think I understand.” I took a sip. “That’s so good. Hopefully she goes back to sleep after this.”
“If she doesn’t, I’ll sit up with her for a bit. You need your sleep.”
Every tiny little thing was enough to make me tear up. “Thank you.”
“That’s what sisters are for. I remember when Finn was first born. Matt did everything he could and thankfully his job was flexible enough that he could spend time with us.”
I nodded. “Connor has two weeks off. He can work from home at times, but the thought of being alone still freaks me out.”
“Any time you need me, just call. I’m not that far away.” She reached around me, squeezing my shoulders. “I’m so happy for you. After everything I just had to be with you.”
“I understand.” I blinked back the tears and placed my cup back on the table.
Ella leaned her head against mine. “I know you don’t always feel this way, but you are one of the best things that ever happened to me. I played by myself with dolls for so long, and suddenly I had you. Whatever else happens in our lives, Ness, we’ve always got each other.”
“It’s two in the morning and you’re making me cry.” I laughed through my tears. “Is there something going on I don’t know about?”
Ella chuckled. “No. I’m just so proud of you. Look at what you did. Made your own little human.”
Isabella dropped away from my breast, and I looked down to see her eyes closed.
“Make the most of it and get some sleep,” Ella whispered. “I’ll clear these cups away.”
I left her in the living room, placing Isabella gently in the bassinet and snuggling up to Connor. His body was warm, and he shook as I pressed my cold legs against his.
He stirred and pulled my arm over him, linking his fingers with mine. It wouldn’t be hard to get back to sleep, my body had been through the wringer, but I understood now that Connor’s comment when I was in labour was true. I’d do it all over again to hold my baby in my arms.
It didn’t matter how much it hurt at the time.
IN THE MORNING, I woke to the smell of bacon. The alarm clock read 7:23 a.m., and Isabella snuffled in her sleep.
I left Connor sleeping and got out of bed, slipping on my bathrobe. Ella stood in the kitchen, making bacon and eggs. The kids sat at the table, and Matt with Zach on his lap.
“Good morning.”
Ella turned and smiled. “Take a seat. If you’re anything like me, breastfeeding leaves you ravenous.”
“I am hungry. She woke again about five. Once she settles, she sleeps well.”
“Make the most of that while it lasts.” Matt laughed. “This lot were all pretty good for the first week or so, then they got even more alert and became far more challenging.”
I grimaced. “Oh great. Is that what I have to look forward to?”
Ella placed a plate in front of me piled high with scrambled eggs on toast and grilled bacon. “Ignore him. You might be lucky and have the baby that sleeps well. Georgia was better than Finn. Zach still drives me nuts some nights.”
“You guys can all go home now,” I grumbled.
I scooped a fork full of eggs into my mouth and moaned. This hit the spot. Ella could stay as long as she liked.
“We’ll get going at some point this morning,” she said.
“You don’t have to.” I spoke with my mouth full of food, and Georgia giggled as I screwed up my face at her.
“As much as I love being here with you, I’m painfully aware that you’ll want time by yourselves as a family.” She served plates up to Matt, Finn and Georgia before sitting down herself.
Connor appeared at the door, yawning, and scratching his head. “That smells good.”
“There’s plenty there,” Ella said.
He filled a plate and sat beside me, leaning his head against mine. “I didn’t know babies that small could sleep all night.”
Ella’s eyes met mine, and along with Matt, we laughed as Connor’s eyes filled with confusion.
“What?”
“Never mind.” I turned my head and pecked his cheek.
He’d learn.
ELLA SQUISHED ME TIGHT. “Call me if you need me. Love you.”
“Love you too. Have a good trip home.”
As she let go, Matt leaned over to kiss my cheek. “It was good to see you, Ness. That’s one gorgeous baby you have there.”
“How could she not be with me for a mother? Duh,” I teased.
Finn and Georgia held onto my legs, and I ran my fingers through their hair, making a mess. “Goodbye, you two. See you soon.”
Matt held Zach’s arm up to wave at me, and I grabbed at him, kissing his tiny dimpled hand. “You be good.”
He grinned and buried his face in his father’s chest. Matt disappeared to buckle him into his car seat as Finn and Georgia piled in alongside him.
“The only problem with going anywhere is that it takes so long to get everyone in and out of the car.” Ella laughed.
I wrapped my arm around her waist. “We’ll come up some time in the next week or so. Mum will be bursting to see the baby.”
“She sure will be. They would have come down, but I got in first, and Dad still hasn’t replaced Liam, so we need to get back to the farm. I got photos yesterday. She’ll be over the moon.”
Ella gave me one last hug and walked around the car to the passenger side. When their car was packed solid, Matt sat in the driver’s seat, and with one last wave he started the car and backed down the driveway.
For a moment I watched as they drove away, my heart full of love for my family. Most of my life I’d been a loner. Now my life was full of family and friends, and I was more grounded than ever before.
The world was so much brighter.
I turned and walked back into the house. Connor had Isabella on the floor, and I grinned as he changed her nappy. He sang “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”, and she stared at him like he was the most important person in the world. I guessed apart from me, he was.
“They gone?” he asked.
“Yep.” I flopped onto the couch, lying down with my head on the arm rest. He completed his task, collecting our baby up into his arms and rocking her side to side.
“Do you think she’s going to look like me or you?” he asked.
“Hopefully you.”
Connor frowned, and I sat up as he approached the couch. “I think she’ll be a mix of both of us. Your good bits and my good bits.”
Isabella fixed her fuzzy gaze on me, and I smiled at the greatest thing I’d ever created.
Life was perfect.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS AND NOTES
By the time I finished In a Lifetime, I had fallen utterly in love with Vanessa. I’d once again intended to write a stand alone story, but this entire group made me just want to keep writing, and so Ness (or Squirt as Matt calls her) got her own story.
In a Lifetime also made me really think about fertility issues. I realised just how many people I knew who were affected by infertility, had gone through IVF, were attempting to get into IVF, suffered sometimes multiple miscarriages
and ectopic pregnancies. It surprised me to read that one in four New Zealand women are affected by miscarriage. And yet it’s something we don’t talk about a lot.
The guilt and sadness felt by Vanessa in this book are not unique to her. It’s never too early to seek help and there are some amazing services that counsel parents through the loss of a child. I’ll be attempting to make a list on my website, but there are a lot out there!
Again, I absolutely love my editor, Lauren McKellar. She challenges me every single time and makes me a better writer. And my favourite cover designer, Sarah, once again did an amazing job to make this photo I discovered into a cover that fits so well with the other two.
And that photo! I literally spent hours searching sites for images that matched my idea of Vanessa’s story. I’d liked so many photographer’s pages, but hadn’t found anything, and one day just scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed, I stumbled across this photo and fell in love with it.
So, thank you Michael Meadows for your gorgeous photo, and to the models, Kim Wright and Danniel Giraldo. I can’t wait to see it in print!
IN THE END
Coming in 2017
The time has come for Finn to find out the truth about his father. Matt, Ella, and Sam will need to work together to minimise disruption in the little boy’s life.
Sam’s love life has been on hold while he gets to know his son. Will he find his own happy ending?
ALSO BY ARIADNE WAYNE
The Friends Series
Loving Rowan
Three Days
Something Real
The Right One
Unexpected
Chances Series
Another Chance
Taking Chances
Lifetime Series
In a Lifetime
In an Instant
In a Heartbeat
Coming 2017 In the End
Writing as Wendy Smith
Coming 2016 Coming Home
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ariadne Wayne is the alter ego of Wendy Smith. She loves books and lives in Auckland, New Zealand with her husband and two children. Having always had a prolific imagination she now writes the words down instead of storing them in her head where she can't share them. When she's not writing she works in Telecommunications, frequently banging her head on the desk with the random things that can happen to the ordinary phone line.
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Find me online
@ariadnewayne
ariadnewaynebooks
www.ariadnewayne.co.nz
[email protected]
Table of Contents
Copyright
Blurb
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Acknowledgements and notes
In the End
Also by Ariadne Wayne
About the Author
In a Heartbeat (Lifetime Book 2) Page 21
