Nicole climbed into the bed and slipped under the covers. “Why don’t you sleep?”
Already on his way out of the room, Garrett paused in the doorway. “I don’t know.”
Laying her head down on the pillow, Nicole closed her eyes. “Yes, you do,” she murmured softly.
*****
Garrett sat on the sofa in the living room, watching the news with Nicole’s words ringing in his head. When had he stopped sleeping? He used to sleep, but that seemed like a lifetime ago.
He realized, quite suddenly, he had no idea what the newscaster was saying. Though he didn’t really need to know. The pictures were enough. Plus, he’d been there in the thick of it. He’d seen the fire up close and personal.
His mind drifted back to the first time he saw Nicole, framed in the window of the pool house. An angel spread out before him. He had been drawn there, to that place, to her. Garrett stood up and silently walked down the hall to his room. The door was only half-closed. He pushed it open further, then paused.
Nibbling on his bottom lip, he quietly crossed the threshold and ventured inside, his bare feet silent on the polished wooden floor. Like a moth to a flame. Crouching down at the edge of the bed, he could smell the scent of her shampoo and could feel the warmth of her breath as she exhaled through her nose. Her golden hair, almost completely dry now, was spread across his pillow. He imagined for a moment what it would feel like to run his fingers through it. As he moved his hand slowly toward her, he glimpsed his wedding ring. Garrett swallowed down the lump in his throat, stood up, and turned away.
“You’re just going to walk away?”
He froze in place, halfway to the door. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“I know. You were just watching. Checking. That’s why you don’t sleep. You’re afraid.”
“I’m not afraid!” His voice was louder and sharper than he intended. He spun around. “I’m not afraid,” he repeated, only softer this time.
Nicole slipped from the bed and walked over to him. “It started with Amanda?”
Garrett nodded. His body tense, his heart rate increasing. He pushed back the memories, guarding against the pain.
“I’m right here. I’m fine, thanks to you. You can rest, Garrett.” Nicole reached for his hand and pulled him toward the bed.
He yanked it away as if he’d been burned. “I can’t.” His face turned red with shame and he turned to walk away.
Nicole rounded on him quickly, stepping in front of him and blocking his path. “You need to sleep. Just lay down.”
Garrett shook his head. “You don’t understand.”
“Then help me to.”
“I don’t even understand!”
Nicole looked around the room and Garrett followed her gaze, taking in the light blue walls, floral chintz chair, and white eyelet comforter and dust ruffle that his wife had so loved.
“Have you changed anything in here since she died? I know you said that the sheets were clean and that your mother removed Amanda’s clothes. Otherwise…”
“What’s your point?”
“I’m making you angry.”
“The fact that I let you sleep in my bed doesn’t entitle you to start poking around in my personal life.”
“This isn’t your bed. It’s her bed. You still see her there.”
Garrett took a seat in the overstuffed chair next to the bed. “Yes,” he admitted quietly.
“What are you feeling?”
He started to laugh. “What are you, a shrink?”
“I’m a therapist.” Nicole crouched down in front of him. “I work mostly with adolescents in the school system. Tell me about this chair.”
He sobered quickly. “I’m not one of your patients, Miss Brooks. Or is it Dr. Brooks? Either way, I’m not biting. I can’t afford to open up those wounds. I’m going to go back out into the living room and get a few hours of shut-eye. My daughter will be home soon and I have to be here for her.”
“No, you aren’t a patient. I’m not sure what you are, frankly.” Nicole shook her head then stood up and returned to the bed. As she climbed back in he couldn’t help but notice the way his dress shirt rode up on her thigh. She leaned back on one arm, her long thin legs curled up underneath her. “Whatever it is, I think that you could be more. As for the wounds? If you’d be honest, you’d admit they never closed.”
He averted his gaze and let his head drop back against the top of the chair. “Maybe.”
She smiled and stretched out. “It’s getting warm in here.”
Garrett went over to the window and threw open the sash. “The sun shines on the front of the house in the afternoon, but there’s always a nice breeze.”
Returning to the chair, he propped his feet up on the edge of the bed. He stared at the white curtains fluttering as a light wind swept through the room. “I would sit here with her, Sam asleep on my chest. I didn’t want her to die alone. So we sat here, Sam and I. Sam was just a baby. We sat here. And we waited. Night after night, we waited.”
Chapter Four
Garrett was in the bed with her, his body curved protectively around hers, his arm draped around her waist. Nicole remembered how, after his confession, he’d leaned his head back, closed his eyes, and fallen asleep. She had drifted off shortly after. At some point, he’d obviously moved from the chair to the bed. She wasn’t sure when. She leaned up and glanced at the clock on the nightstand, one thirty. Garrett’s grip tightened, his hand migrating so that his thumb grazed the underside of her breast. The steady sound of his breathing told her that he was fast asleep.
She looked at the chair across from the bed and imagined him sitting in it, holding vigil with his infant daughter in his arms. Watching. Waiting. Waiting for his wife to die. Nicole detected a faint odor of smoke in the air and realized that she had yet to call Ann to tell her not to worry. If the fires were still burning, Nicole knew it was likely the story would be on the news. Just then she heard a car pull into the driveway. Seconds later she recognized the voices of Brenda, Angela, and Sam as they approached the house.
Nicole carefully lifted Garrett’s arm from around her waist and slid from the bed. Almost immediately it seemed that he felt her loss. He rolled onto his back and then resumed his prior position on his side, his arm searching for her. Nicole tugged the pillow that she had been sleeping on downward. He grasped it in his sleep, hugging it to his chest. The tender moment was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening.
“I’m home!” Sam called out.
Nicole quickly left the bedroom, pulling the door shut. “Shh, sweetie. Daddy is still sleeping.”
Sam’s eyes became huge with surprise. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“But Daddy doesn’t sleep!” She spun around to face Brenda and Angela. “Never! My daddy never sleeps!”
Brenda crouched down. “It might seem that way, honey, but I’m sure your Daddy—”
“No.” Sam shook her head vehemently.
“He’s fine. I promise.” Nicole offered her hand. “Want to peek?”
Sam trustingly took hold, allowing Nicole to lead her down the hall to Garrett’s room.
Nicole lifted her finger to her lips, then cracked open the door.
“Daddy’s sleeping,” Sam whispered.
Nicole nodded, pulling the door to once again. “Told you. Hey, I hear that you are quite an artist. Think I could persuade you to draw me a picture about something that you saw today?”
“If I do, will you braid my hair later?” Sam asked.
“Hmm, you drive a hard bargain. I guess I can manage that.”
“Do you know how to make the French kind that Gillian’s mommy does?”
“Yup! Do we have a deal?”
“One drawing coming up,” Sam promised before running off to her room. “No peeking until I’m done.”
“Clothes?” Brenda held up a couple shopping bags. “We stopped and picked you up a few things.”
“I so owe yo
u,” Nicole said. “Do you think Garrett would mind if I used his phone? I need to call my sister and the bank. I should probably call my insurance company about the car, and then there’s my father’s house.”
“Just take things one step at a time,” Angela said. “Flint told us about your father. It sounds like it’s been a tough year for you.”
“Angela’s a grief counselor,” Brenda offered.
Nicole turned to her. “Really? I’m a therapist too. I work in the public school system.”
“School social work, now there’s a challenge,” Angela lamented.
“Are you off for the summer?” Brenda asked.
Nicole started to rummage through one of the bags of clothing. “One of the advantages.”
“Your father’s attorney should be able to help sort out the issue with the house,” Brenda suggested. “I’m assuming it’s yours now?”
“I’m not really sure. I don’t even know if he had an attorney. We weren’t very close. His business partner might know.”
“I could look into it for you, if you’d like,” Brenda offered. “Unless you really trust his business partner, he might not be the most objective person to advise you.”
“Brenda’s an attorney,” Angela explained
“You’d be willing to help me?”
Brenda nodded. “Absolutely. Tomorrow’s Sunday, I can come over in the afternoon and get some information from you.”
“I’m not sure I’ll still be here tomorrow.”
“According to the radio, sections of the highway are closed. The fire’s spreading really fast. There’s talk about stopping all but essential travel,” Brenda said
“The air quality isn’t good, not even here. That’s why we ended up leaving the zoo early,” Angela added.
“I’ve got to call my sister.” Nicole scanned the room for a phone.
“There’s a cordless in the kitchen. Our number is on the list on the fridge. Call if you need anything else,” Brenda said.
“Thanks.” Nicole saw them out, then slipped on some clothes before heading to the kitchen to call Ann.
Just as she was hanging up from leaving a message on Ann’s machine, Sam ran into the kitchen waving the drawing she’d finished high in the air.
“Look!”
“Let’s see.” As soon as Nicole sat down, Sam crawled into her lap. “What do we have here?”
“Gorillas.” Sam placed the drawing on the table. “Look, the mommy holds him just like a real baby.”
“It’s so tiny.”
Sam nodded. “I don’t have a mommy. My mommy’s in heaven.”
Nicole felt a pull on her heart as she looked down at the little girl. “I heard about that,” Nicole said softly as she ran her fingers through the little girl’s long, dark brown locks.
“I was a baby when she died. She loved me a whole lot, though. I just have a daddy.” Sam leaned back and studied the drawing. “Can we braid my hair now?”
“Sure. Bring me a brush and a band. We’ll do your hair and then we’ll see about starting dinner. What does your daddy like to eat?”
“Frozen stuff. He eats a lot of frozen stuff.”
Nicole chuckled. “I think we can do better than that.”
*****
It was shortly after five o’clock when Nicole finished overseeing Sam’s shredding of the lettuce.
“Is this enough?” Sam asked.
Nicole looked over her shoulder and peered into the bowl. “I’d say so.”
Sam pulled a chair over to the stove and climbed up. “Your pisghetti smells really good.”
“Our spaghetti. Careful, the stove’s hot.”
“Can I stir?”
“How about we do it together?” Nicole placed Sam’s hand on top of hers. “So, what kind of pasta should we cook? The long, skinny noodles or the short, curly ones?”
“I like the curly ones. Are you going to give me my bath?” Sam suppressed a yawn.
“Oh my, I completely forgot about your nap. Let’s get your bath done so that we can tuck you in after dinner. What do you say?”
“Okie dokey. I’ll get my PJs.”
Nicole turned down the flame under the pot of sauce before following her out of the kitchen. “I’ll meet you in the bathroom.”
Thirty minutes later, while they were negotiating whether or not to unstop the bath, Sam’s tummy ended the debate. “My tummy is growly.”
“You shouldn’t have let me sleep so long.” Garrett was standing in the doorway, his hair sticking up in disarray.
Nicole lifted Sam out of the bath, then wrapped a towel around her. “You needed the rest.”
“You were sleeping!” Sam declared.
“That I was, baby. Wow, something sure smells good!”
“Nicole and I made dinner. Are you hungry?”
“Yes, actually,” Garrett replied. “Hey, you have clothes.”
Nicole helped Sam into her nightgown. “Courtesy of Brenda and Angela.”
“Angela let me pick out the panties. They’re really pretty,” Sam said.
“And here I was about to say that I liked the other outfit better.” Garrett ran his hand through his hair, trying to tame the now-unruly spikes.
“Look!” Sam turned her head. “Nicole did my hair.”
Garrett smiled. “It’s beautiful, darlin’,” he told her, his eyes connecting with Nicole’s.
“What do you say we put on the pasta, kiddo?” Nicole held her hand out and Sam grasped it.
“Okay.”
“We got wrapped up cooking dinner and kind of forgot about the nap. She’s tired,” Nicole said.
“You made dinner? Actual dinner?”
“It’s not frozen, Daddy.”
Garrett’s eyes searched out Nicole’s. “Thank you. Sam, put your clothes in the hamper, then we’ll have dinner.”
“Aye-aye, Captain.” She gave a mock salute, gathered her clothes up off of the floor, and scampered off to her bedroom.
“It was nothing.” Nicole folded the bath towel and hung it over the rail.
Garrett placed his hand on her shoulder. “It was something. You’re something.”
“Flirt with me all you want, mister. I cooked. You’re doing the dishes. It’s only fair.”
“Gladly.”
*****
“Night, cutie.” Garrett turned off Sam’s bedroom light and kissed her on the forehead.
“She’s so sweet,” Nicole whispered. “You must be very proud.”
He looked up to see her leaning against the wall in the hallway. Garrett softly shut the door to his daughter’s room. “She’s everything to me. I wish…”
“What?”
“I wish I could give her what she deserves. There are so many ways that I fail her.”
“It’s normal for parents to doubt themselves. Let me assure you, you’re doing a fine job.” Nicole walked toward the bedroom.
“She should have more.”
“Shh.” Nicole crooked her finger, beckoning him. “Close the door.”
Garrett followed her into his room, then turned toward the door and with great trepidation pushed it partially closed.
Nicole searched through the shopping bag Brenda and Angela had left, coming up with a toothbrush. “Be right back.”
Left alone in his room he was at a complete loss as to what to do. He followed her to the bathroom, watching from the open doorway as she cupped her hand under the stream of water, capturing some and rinsing her mouth.
Nicole glimpsed him in the mirror and jumped.
“I didn’t mean to startle you.”
She dabbed her mouth with the hand towel. “It’s all right.”
“I’m…not sure what to do.”
“About?” She patted her face dry with the towel.
He hesitated before answering. “The sleeping arrangements.”
“Do you have any moisturizer?”
“Men don’t moisturize.”
When she responded with a raised eyebro
w, he caved. “In the medicine cabinet, nothing fancy mind you.”
“Of course not.” Nicole retrieved the bottle from the medicine cabinet, poured a dollop into the palm of her hand, and began to apply it to her face. Before she could finish the lights went out, shrouding the space in darkness.
“Power failure?” she asked nervously.
His heart was hammering in his chest. “No. I—I can’t do this with you looking at me.”
“Do what?”
“I want to sleep in my bed,”
Nicole leaned back into his chest and tilted her head to the side. “I can take the couch.”
“You don’t have to.” Garrett resisted the urge to run his finger down the length of her neck.
“No?”
“I feel like I’m suddenly back in junior high. My heart is beating so hard I swear it’s going to break my chest. I can walk through fire, but I can’t bring myself to…”
Nicole turned around. She was trapped between his body and the bathroom counter. “To what?”
“To touch you. I so want to touch you.”
“You’ve already touched me, many times.”
“Not in the way I want to now.” Garrett stepped backwards, retreating toward the door. “I promised Mrs. Thompson that I’d pick her up from the hospital. It’s getting late. I should—”
Before he could finish his sentence Nicole crushed her lips to his in a smoldering kiss. Caught off guard, Garrett stumbled back into the bathroom door. He gasped as he heard it slam, concerned momentarily that it might have woken Sam. Then he felt Nicole’s tongue brushing across his lower lip, begging entrance. She pulled his head in closer, weaving her fingers through his hair. It had been so long and she tasted so sweet. For a moment he was overwhelmed with grief and sadness as he realized that he had almost forgotten how good it felt. How essential it was to be touched. How deeply satisfying it was to feel wanted.
Nicole deepened the kiss and Garrett’s cock hardened instantly, straining against his jeans. Her tongue began to rhythmically stroke his. He felt like he was on the verge of losing control, and it felt wonderful. Garrett wrapped one arm around her waist, slipped his other hand around the back of her neck and then pulled her flush to his body. He reveled in the feel of her, her little gasps and moans, the panting sounds she made as he turned, pressing her against the door, pushing her knees apart slightly so that he could get even closer to her. He felt as if he were about to explode as she broke off the kiss and began to claw at his t-shirt, pulling it out of his jeans.
Touch of Fire Page 3
