That tiny sign of vulnerability in a man, who had always seemed emotionally impenetrable, broke me.
“Raim,” I called to him, getting out of the chair. “Come here.” I reached through the barrier, no longer analyzing my actions or thinking about the consequences.
He was obviously hurting, and I needed to comfort him.
Slowly, as if the memories wouldn’t let him go, he turned. His eyes glistened wild under the dark eyelashes.
“Come here.” I opened my arms for him, and he crossed the threshold.
The barrier was now gone—disappeared with my invitation.
“Dee . . .” He leaned his forehead to mine, his hands at his sides.
I wrapped my arms around him, feeling his whole body shake.
“They’re long gone, Raim.” I pressed my temple to the hard ridge of his jaw, the stubble on his chin slightly prickling my skin. “We like to believe that the dead rest in peace. Let them go. Then maybe you’ll find peace in life, too.”
With an exhale that was a half-groan, he gathered me into his arms.
“It’s them who wouldn’t let me be, Dee. Both of them. Whenever I close my eyes, I see their faces. Sometimes mocking. Other times indifferent. And often . . . burnt.”
“Oh God, sweetheart.” Feeling him shudder, I tightened my arms around his body, as if I could keep him from falling apart by holding all his pieces together in my embrace. Centuries worth of pain, hurt, and regrets wouldn’t be possible to release all in one night. “Let go of it slowly, take one step, one day at a time. That’s all any one of us could do.”
I stroked his back, kissed his neck, and whispered whatever words of comfort I could come up with—some made sense, some were complete nonsense, but it didn’t matter. He seemed to respond to my touch and my voice. Slowly, the rock-hard ropes of his tensed muscles started to relax under my palms. His breathing evened out somewhat.
My injured knee started to ache from standing for too long, but I paid little attention to that.
“You haven’t had your dinner,” Raim said softly against the side of my neck.
“I’m not hungry.”
“You hurt your leg.” He lifted me in his arms once again.
“It’s not that bad. It was my own fault, anyway.”
“Mine, too. Letting you leave with the first helicopter would have been the right thing to do.” He carried me to the bed. “But I will never regret you spending this time here with me.”
Placing me on top of the covers, he hooked his fingers under the waistband of my leggings.
“Um . . .” I started to protest, but he calmly reassured me.
“I need to see your leg.”
“Right.” I lifted my backside off the bed, helping him slide my leggings off.
Gently and efficiently, he inspected my knee, asking me a few brief questions.
“You seem to know a lot about that,” I pointed out.
“I’ve had my share of injuries.” His light touch during the inspection grew firmer as he started massaging the soreness out of my knee. “No broken bones or torn ligaments. Must be a strain.”
He finished the massage then covered my naked legs with a blanket.
“It’s nothing,” I assured him. “It hardly hurts at all anymore.”
Raim brought a cushion from one of the armchairs and placed it under my knee then picked up the tray with my cold dinner. “We’ll see if there is any swelling tomorrow. I’ll bring you an icepack and will warm up your food, now.”
His voice was firm, his hands steady—not a dish clinked on the tray. One would think his pain and anguish had passed, and everything was back to normal. But I knew that either intuitively or consciously, Raim had been doing what I told him to do—taking it one step at a time. One small slash at the wound after another, until one day all the rot and agony might be gone.
RAIM
After dinner, Dee changed into a nightshirt and he helped her settle in bed with an ice pack.
“What are you feeling when you’re taking care of me like this?” She snuggled under the covers.
“Why do you ask?” He stood there, fighting the sudden desire to get under them with her.
“Well, you don’t appear to be the nurturing type.” She shrugged a shoulder, letting the top sheet slide off it—not on purpose, judging by her emotions. Still, it looked rather enticing. “So, I’m curious what your thoughts are on having to fuss over me here.”
“I don’t mind.”
It did feel new and unusual to take care of someone, but not unfitting. Doing things for Dee came naturally, he didn’t need to think about it.
“You know you don’t have to look after me. I can manage on my own.”
“I really don’t mind. I . . . actually like it even.”
“You like tucking me into bed?” she smiled.
“Yes,” he replied truthfully. “Would you mind if I stayed?” he found himself asking out loud.
What harm could be done in the few short weeks he had left? Why deny himself the one thing he wanted so badly right now—to hold her while she slept?
Her smile faded, and he hurriedly scanned her emotions. Surprise, curiosity, interest. A bit of confusion. The ever-present glow of attraction.
No fear or resentment, though, he noted with relief.
“Well, it’s your room,” she replied hesitantly.
“Not since you have taken it over.” He recalled the ease with which he had given it up, intrigued and even excited about the novelty of having someone—her—stay in his space.
Finally, she smiled again, a warm resonance pulsing inside her. “Stay.”
He released the breath he’d been holding and turned away quickly to hide the satisfaction spreading through his chest, which must be showing on his face. Despite having bared his soul to her just minutes earlier, showing his own emotions was still too new, making him feel exposed.
‘One day at a time.’
Raim sauntered to the wardrobe and opened it. He had loved Dee selecting his clothes for him for the past several days. She’d huffed and rolled her eyes, pretending to be annoyed, but he saw that the simple task brought her pleasure. To him, it felt like a tiny connection he didn’t want to break by having more clothes delivered from elsewhere.
Stripping off everything he was wearing, he changed into a pair of thin lounge pants then returned back to the bed.
Dee sat, with her gaze on him. The attraction inside her heated with the tantalising shade of desire.
“I . . . um, I didn’t realize ‘staying’ meant actually getting in bed for you,” she muttered.
“Is that a problem?” He stopped, with one knee already on the mattress.
“No.” She turned down the corner of the bedspread for him. “It’s just that I thought demons didn’t sleep.”
“We rest. Sometimes.” Incubi laid down for the night to preserve energy when it was low. With Dee here, Raim had been feeding fairly well by skimming her emotions regularly. Although the pain of hunger was always there, resting was not necessary in his case.
Dee didn’t need to know that however, he decided, turning off the lights and climbing in bed next to her.
“Oh, okay.” She slipped deeper into the covers, too.
He acted on impulse, reaching for her. Warm and supple in his arms, she didn’t push him away. With a long sigh, she melted against his body, finally letting go of whatever had been holding her at the distance in the daylight.
“This is . . . really nice, Raim,” she murmured into his chest as he drew her to him. “Thank you for staying.”
He buried his nose in her hair, breathing her in, as she fell asleep. It was a deep, calm slumber with a few short, easy dreams.
A profound sense of pride and satisfaction flooded him. The calmness inside her, all the positive emotions that had formed and still grew in Dee were a big difference from the dark matter of fear, pain, and resentment that churned and bubbled inside her when he’d met her in the club in Zurich.
He still remembered the putrid aftertaste of the darkness he took from her that first night, making room for the positive emotions to take hold and grow. Each of them was fresh and exciting to skim and taste during the weeks that had followed, as he discovered the enthralling bouquet of flavours that Dee turned out to be.
The moon outside the windows travelled across the sky, casting silver ripples on the seawater below. With the morning approaching, Raim regretted not thinking about drawing the curtains closed. The light from the rising sun would most likely wake Dee.
She turned and tossed a few times in her sleep through the night, never letting go of him entirely. Either her arm or her leg had been draped over him at any given moment, and he hated to disturb her by getting up to close the curtains now.
Raim knew her dreams were restful and happy by the emotions radiating from her, but he had no idea what exactly she dreamt about. He didn’t want to enter her dreams because whatever they were, his reality would be more enjoyable, for once.
For the first time, he was completely relaxed while having a sleeping woman in his arms. There was no guilt, no need to rush, no urgent demands of duty and responsibility to anyone.
Sadness tugged at his heart now at the notion of having to leave this world soon. Suddenly, humans’ short lives no longer seemed that short compared to his own month and a bit left. The human woman he was holding in his arms had considerably longer to live than he had.
Would she think of him when he was no longer there? Miss him, maybe, at least a little bit?
Just before the sunrise, when the sky had lightened and the very edge of it tinted blush pink, Dee stirred. Her head was on top of him, her cheek pressed to his chest, her hair tickling his skin.
“Best sleep ever,” she mumbled, snuggling against him. His insides warmed as her affection curled around his heart.
Wrapping his arms around her, he speared his fingers through her hair, cradling the back of her head. “How is your leg?”
She bent her knee, testing. “It’s fine.”
“Let me see.”
“Later. Honestly, it’s all good. Just . . . stay like this for a little while, please.”
Spreading his fingers, he stretched the elastic holding her hair until it snapped off, broken, and let the black, silky mass of her hair spill all over his chest.
“Now what have you done?” She lifted her head, meeting his eyes. There was a smile in hers, triggering something inside him, too. He didn’t even feel the corner of his own mouth lift in response, until she raised her hand and skimmed the edge of his jaw with her thumb. “At times, I’ve wondered if you were even capable of smiling.” She flexed her arms, moving up his body, her face hovering right over his now, the fragrant curtain of her hair shrouding them from the world. “Your smile is a sight to see, Raim,” she said, with admiration that he immediately skimmed until the very last crumb. “Totally worth the wait.”
The pale light of sunrise glimmered in the indigo-blue of her eyes. He found himself lost in them for a moment, fully absorbed by the crimson streak of desire rapidly growing inside her.
“More than anything in the world,” she whispered. “I want to kiss you right now.”
“I want to do much more than kissing.” His voice came out husky, his throat turning dry as he sensed the heat between his legs swell hard.
Again.
He hadn’t had an erection for centuries, but since Dee came to his castle, he found himself fighting this physical reaction of his body daily.
“I’m not like the others, Dee,” he warned, cupping her face with his hand. “There is nothing I can give you. No family, no longevity, no future. All I have is this moment.”
“You’ve already given me peace, Raim.” Turning her head, she kissed his palm. “This moment is all I want right now, nothing more. Simply to be with you.”
For a second, he still hesitated, but not worrying about himself for once. Was there a chance for Dee to be hurting when he was gone? Should he tell her more than he already had? Would that knowledge possibly spoil this moment—the only thing that she wanted from him?
‘Had you known how it will end, would you still do it?’
Her answer to his question then applied reasonably well now. It might be sad when things ended, but the experience was still worth it.
What he had to focus on was making this experience worth it for her, so when he was no longer there she had no regrets about this.
Leaning down, she placed her lips on his, cutting his thoughts short and rendering him speechless.
Forgetting about everything, he reached out, lapping at her arousal as if he had been starving for centuries. And in a way, he had been. Nothing he had ever tasted before compared to this, just like no one he had ever met was like her.
“So,” he growled, breaking the kiss. Flipping her to her back, he hovered over her. “You want to kiss a demon.”
Staring up at him—not a shred of fear or concern inside her, just fierce passion and intrepid challenge—she hooked a leg around his middle, pressing her core to his throbbing erection.
“I want to fuck the living hell out of him,” she declared.
The bright flare of her desire sliced hot through him, and he greedily took it all, claiming her mouth with another bruising kiss. Rocking his hips into her and roaming his hands over her body, he frantically reached for the hem of her shirt, shoving it up past her breasts.
He didn’t simply want to feast on her arousal, he wanted to taste it all, every single part of her. From her mouth, down her neck and her chest. He ripped her shirt off over her head, then latched on to one of her nipples, noticing the delightful zap of energy shooting through her at that move.
“Oh, Raim . . .” she moaned, arching her back and pressing more of her body to his.
Touching, kissing, sucking on her skin came naturally, as if he had done it every day for years.
He wanted to do it every day . . . The idea of spending each night next to her and feeding off her every morning, just like this, rushed through him in a heady wave of excitement. He might no longer have centuries ahead of him, but those few weeks he still had, he wanted to spend doing exactly this.
Slipping his hand between her legs, he found the tight little bud between her slick folds. It made her gasp and writhe when he touched it.
“Yes,” she panted, with every swirl of his fingers. “Harder, Raim, more, please . . .” She raked her fingers through his hair, fisting her hands in it.
He rose on his elbow, needing to see her face when she came, not just her emotions. Any minute now. He could already see the crimson tide of her arousal crest white-hot with her impending orgasm.
“Wait,” she groaned, grabbing his wrist. “I want you with me, this time.”
She slid her hand down his abs and inside his pants. Her warm fingers stroked his length, sending another hot charge to his groin, making him throb.
He stilled under her touch.
“I need you with me, Raim,” she whispered, her gaze searching his. A thin veil of concern drew over the raging ocean of arousal inside her at his silence. “Raim? Is something wrong?”
He inhaled, closing his eyes for a moment, frozen in time between the past and the present.
“What is it, honey?” Dee’s kind voice filtered through the centuries of doubts, pain, and mistrust, like a sunray piercing through the clouds.
She withdrew her hand and wrapped her arm around his middle instead, her other hand cupping his face gently. “It doesn’t need to happen now.”
“I want it to happen,” he gritted through his teeth, the truth of that statement setting his blood on fire. For the first time ever, he really wanted this, to possess a woman in every way possible and to let her own him, too. “Now.”
“Is it . . .” she stroked his temple, dipping her fingers into his hair. “Would this be your first time?” There was doubt in her when she asked, yet the certainty of her guess was in there, too.
He
r tenderness floored him. He nodded, unsure he could pass a word through his tightening throat.
“Let me then . . .” She gently shoved at his shoulders, and he let her roll him to his back. “I’ll be gentle,” she whispered, placing a light, caressing kiss on his lips then trailing more kisses down his neck and chest. “I’ll make sure you’ll remember it.”
Raim never forgot anything. He was certain he would never forget a single second spent with her.
“Good memories, Raim, only good ones from now on.” She kept kissing down his body, her dark, silky hair trailing behind her as an added caress to his skin, and he let her, fully surrendering to the sensation.
Hooking her fingers in the waistband of his pants, she dragged them down his hips, freeing his straining erection.
“Just a kiss.” Her hot whisper fanned over the sensitive skin of his shaft, making him groan with pleasure even before she wrapped her lips around him.
Slick and hot, her mouth moved up and down, slowly torturing him with ecstasy.
“Dee,” he croaked in warning, even as his hips jerked up, following the movement of her mouth. “I can’t . . . I will . . .”
“Not without me.” She rose over him, then lowered her hips down, impaling herself on him.
“God Almighty . . .” he growled—a foreign, feral sound—as she began to move. Arching his back to get deeper inside her, he could spend the rest of his time on Earth right here, buried in her, just like this.
Her speed increased, driving him wild with lust, which he no longer just tasted. He felt every single pulsating wave of it as it spread through her to him. Her rising tide swept him too, carrying both of them higher to the crest—together.
“Dee,” he repeated her name as a mantra, as a benediction, grabbing on to her hips. Without breaking their connection, he flipped them both, needing to be on top of her now, taking everything she had to give. Pumping his hips hard, he took her—all of her.
Her fingers dug into his biceps hard as she came with a series of tortured little moans, sweeping him with her in a blinding orgasm of his own.
Incredible.
He leaned his forehead to hers, unable to stop touching her, feeling her, tasting her, as they both floated down from the height of their climax.
The Last Unforgiven - Freed (Demons, #5) Page 10
