When you spent a lot of time with someone, you became attuned with their heart rates, their smells. And his sounded different. Not like someone who was angry. It sounded broken… like me.
Was he really hurt about me spending time with another person?
If that was true, then maybe, just maybe, he was hurting like me.
But right now, I couldn’t help him, or me, so I would do whatever I could to get through this conversation and worry about the rest later. I didn't look at him. Instead, I chose to look into the flame of the candle on the desk when I finally answered. “We actually met last night…”
I cleared my throat as I caught through the corner of my eye him moving even closer.
I couldn’t look… wouldn’t look.
“He came to the tent, him and a few others, and we talked.”
He was beside me now, and the heat that was between us earlier burned me. I stared down at the dancing flame as the black of his boots dared me to look up. Not an ounce of dirt was on them. Smooth and unscuffed, they weren’t the shoes of a fighter.
Which was probably why it was a good thing how things were about to go down.
I was saving him, really.
He cupped my cheeks, pulling my face away from the candle, and forced me to make eye contact.
His brow furrowed; he wiped my lip with his large thumb.
“Robin, did something happen? Because if something happens...”
Before he could go further in his thinking, I said, “Me and the others are going to rescue Smite and the shifters.”
His thumb stopped its small caress as his hands fell away from my face, and I had to resist reaching out and grabbing them back.
“Son of a bitch!” Jon turned away from me and started to pace as he combed his hands through his hair.
After a moment, he paused to look at me. “They told you about the shifters?”
Now, this line of questioning, I was comfortable talking about.
Arms crossed, I turned my anger on him. “Yes, and it should have been you who told me. Jon, why didn't you tell me?”
He waved away my question, continuing his pacing. “When we first met, you still thought only King John was the evil one. Do you really think you would have listened to me if I told you your whole family was evil?”
My thoughts went to my sisters. Their laughs. Their smiles.
He was wrong. Not all of us were evil... at least they weren’t.
Tired of his pacing, I walked over and blocked him. His eyes held mine for the longest time, as we both seemed to war with what to say.
I broke first. “I get why you waited... at first. But after? I have been here for three months. Three months, Jon. Why not tell me now? Why?” My voice turned traitorous, cracking at the end.
Until this moment, I hadn’t grasped how the lies had made me feel. Too caught up in what my father had done, and what I still needed to do, that I had failed to realize that maybe I had been upset with more than one person.
Jon being one of them.
He pinched the bridge of his nose, never wavering in watching me. “Robin, how was I supposed to tell you that the man that you loved with every fiber of your being not only lied to you about their existence, but also was taking them to do gods know what with them?”
He shook his head, going to sit back on the bed. His eyes were more saddened than I had ever seen them. He sighed. “You wouldn’t even talk to me after we got back.”
I wanted to be angry. I wanted to lash out at him and tell him how wrong he was. How I had fallen apart, and my world was turned upside down, but I couldn’t.
He was right.
When I looked back, he had been the one to push, wanting me to tell him everything that had happened to me.
I was the one who hadn’t been ready.
I had pulled away, but at the same time, Jon wasn’t a man from the fairy tales my sister had read.
He was flawed.
Imperfect.
So, when I had pushed, he had walked away instead of choosing to fight.
Not ready for the conversation that was about to happen, I sat beside him, then lay back on the bed, exhaling deeply. I threw everything that had been in my head earlier out the window. “You’re right, Jon. You are so right. But we both messed up, not just me. And right now, I’ve got to save them and Smite. The girls too if I can.”
I sat up.
We were face to face, mere inches from each other. I couldn’t help but touch his cheek. The stubble from the day before rubbed against the calluses on my hand. "Jon, come with us. We need more people. The more people who come, the better chance we have."
He gave a sad smile, grasped my hand and tugged it into his lap. He rubbed at the calluses with his smooth, elegant fingers. “No.”
One simple word.
And yet it caused so many emotions.
I tried to tug my hand away, but he held on, locking eyes with me.
“No, Robin, listen. I can’t. They need me here. And I can’t send men to help you—we don’t have enough here as it is.”
Angry at myself for asking, but even more at him for still having the power to hurt me, I tugged my hand out of his. This time he let me go.
His eyes burned into my back as I stood and walked to the entry of the tent. I couldn’t help turning to get one last look at him before I left. “I’m still going. I have to.”
He nodded, a real smile lighting his face. “I wouldn’t expect anything different from the Princess of Fraser.”
I exited the tent and made my way to mine, where the others were supposed to be waiting. I didn't know what I had hoped to accomplish talking to Jon today and if I died in the next few days, then I guess I never would, but for some reason, I felt hopeful.
For what I only wish I knew.
15
Robin
* * *
Twisted.
That was the shape of my heart and the rest of me. I was confused about what had just happened between me and Jon and what this could mean for us.
I paid no attention to the people walking by and headed for my tent. This would be the last chance the guys and I would have to make sure we had everything. It would also be an opportunity for those who might have changed their minds to leave.
Who would leave? Who would stay?
Bizarrely, I hoped Rafe would stay. Something about him was familiar, and the need to figure out what it was itched the back of my mind.
He was truthful when he said he couldn't stand me or my family, so why would I want someone on my team who hated me so much?
Because he could fight... well. And that trumped his attitude at the moment.
Even with my insides twisted from Jon and this mission, I could admit that maybe it was a good thing Jon wasn't coming. Between him and Rafe, I would have had my hands full with their attitudes and enough male testosterone to last me a lifetime.
Even if I wished they both had my back, those two together would be explosive.
Almost to my tent, I heard the soft voices of two females coming from inside. I was still a ways away, but my hearing was better than most.
"Do you think she'll like it?" Lily's voice was loud and clear, and I wondered who she was talking to.
"She’ll love it. How can she not after griping about the clothes she's been forced to wear?" Jamie.
Those wenches. Correct, but still wenches.
What were they doing here, though? And I hadn't griped much… had I?
At the tent, I pushed open the flap in time to see Lily stuff something behind her back.
Mark and Mac lay on my bed like they had the night before, while Rafe sat in the only good chair I had, sharpening his sword.
“Where's everyone else at?”
Rafe raised an eyebrow but didn't stop his methodical cleaning. Mac, or maybe it was Mark—I still wasn't able to tell them apart—sat up shaking his head at Rafe before smiling at me. “They're out back, checking on supplies. Told us to wait here for you.�
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I nodded, already looking at my two friends whose cheeks had turned red. “And you two? What are you doing here? I thought we had this discussion this morning?”
Lily rolled her eyes. “Yes, we did. And while I disagree—”
Jamie coughed, and Lily looked at her with a small pout, before letting out a little hiss. “While I disagree, I figured the least I could do is make sure you are better equipped.”
She took her hand from behind her back, revealing that she was holding an outfit.
I glanced up at her and reverently took the outfit from her.
The dark green halter top and pants were made of smooth, cowhide leather. I stroked it lovingly, tears pushing to the front of my eyes. “Lily, this is wonderful. I mean, how did you have time?”
Jamie cleared her throat. “She's actually been working on it for a while. She knew you hated wearing the clothes like the other women here.”
I glanced down at the modified dress. Maybe I had whined a little too much, but the new pants alone begged to be tried on. They had many pouches to slide my knives into.
Still holding the clothes, I wrapped my arms around Lily's small shoulders and whispered, “You are the best friend that I have ever known.”
“Don't let us interrupt your little girl group hug.” Rafe's sneer broke the magical moment, and I yearned to smack him upside his head.
What was his problem?
“You’re an ass.”
He pointed the tip of his sword down, looking down the edge, before standing. He came so close, his arm brushed my side. “That I am, Princess, but I’m the sexiest ass you’ll ever meet.”
My cheeks heated, but before I could respond, the tent flap moved and the others walked in.
Claius paused in the doorway, taking in Rafe’s closeness with a frown. “Is everything all right here?”
I looked at Rafe, who hadn’t moved from his position. His eyes dared me to tell on him, to sic Claius on him.
But I didn’t. This was between him and me, and later, after our mission was over, this would all come to a head, but not right now.
I turned away from Rafe, knocking him back with my shoulder while I smiled at the rest of the guys. “Everything’s fine. Did everything look good with the supplies?”
James, who had come in last, nodded. “Oh, yes. We have enough water and food for the walk there and back.”
I smiled at him. James was becoming one of my favorite people. “What about medical equipment?”
Fagen glanced at Aman, then back at me. “Well, I’m not a doctor, but I did bring… I mean, that is to say, I have some things if…” His cheeks blazed red.
Fagen's fumbling just made me want to help him, even though I’m sure it annoyed the others. He was smart, and we needed that.
I walked over to where he stood and patted his arm, causing him to stop his floundering. Besides Claius and Jon, I was the most comfortable with touching Fagan. Didn't really understand why. Maybe it was because he was the least threatening, or just the fact he seemed the smartest out of all of us. Either way, I never gave touching his arm a second thought. “I don’t think any of us will get hurt, Fagen. But you can never be too careful and it’s always good to be prepared.”
His eyes brightened. Maybe I understood him better than I thought. Fagen was a healer, whether he wanted to admit it or not, and my words had set him at ease. “That’s right. Always be prepared.”
Rafe snorted. “Does that mean the fat one can stay with the supplies, because I would hate to have to carry him.”
The brightness in Fagen's eyes faded at Rafe's words.
I clenched my hands together, holding back my anger. We needed Rafe—it wouldn't do to alienate him now.
Fagen glanced down at his shoes, the smile from earlier forgotten.
And like that, my good thoughts went out the window. I was in Rafe’s face before he could fathom it. Nose to nose, our breaths mingled. His eyes slowly blinking, not giving away anything.
“What is your problem? Do you think you're a man because you're cruel to someone smaller than you?”
I waited for him to answer, but instead all I got was the smirk that I was becoming used to. “I really wouldn’t call him smaller, Princess. He looks like he ate the last cow in the field. And I just call it like I see it. I thought that’s what you royals liked? No secrets?”
He turned the words I had been raised with against me. Words that covered the banners at my old home. It stung.
Before I could say anything, possibly something I would regret, Aman was between us, pushing us apart. Maybe later I would thank him for that.
“All right, all right, either kiss or stop talking.”
He shook his head, then moved over to stand beside Claius, mumbling, “You can cut the tension between those two with a knife.”
Rafe’s trademark smirk fell and anger flared in his eyes as he looked at Aman. “You think I have something for her?”
Claius crossed his arms. “Judging by your reaction, we don’t have to think. Now sit down, before you embarrass yourself."
Rafe opened his mouth, to say what I was sure would be something hurtful toward me, but Claius stopped him.
“Remember, I can tell if you’re lying.”
Rafe jerked his head toward me, before grabbing a stool and sitting in silence.
Frustrated with the turn of events and this conversation, I walked into the middle of the group, waving my hands in the air.
Mac and Mark, who had been lazily slouching on my bed, sat up, finally paying attention to what was going on, while Jamie took a seat and pulled Lily into her lap.
“Enough,” I said. “We have work to do. We’ve been over the plan."
I looked at Jamie and Lily. “You two still know you’re staying here, right? We don’t have to have that argument again?”
Lily rolled her eyes at my question, while Jamie laughed. “I'll make sure Lily listens.”
Lily huffed in response, pinching Jamie’s cheek, but not saying anything.
The guys remained silent. I glanced at Aman and Claius. These were the two I could count on. Without them, none of this would have even been possible. The least I could do was make sure they said whatever they needed to mention. “Do you guys have anything to say?”
Aman stepped forward grinning, his missing teeth noticeable as he banged his cane on the ground. “I do.”
Pointing the cane at everyone, including me, he winked with his one good eye. “Don’t screw this up.”
With a nod of his head, he stepped back beside Claius and nudged me with his cane.
I looked at each of them; Mac and Mark, sitting there with amused expressions on their faces, while James and Fagan hid in the back of the tent, preferring silence. And Rafe, who continued to stare me down in anger.
We were really going to have to come to a head after this.
“All right, if there are no questions, you guys get out of here so I can change into my new outfit."
The guys walked out one by one.
I waited until only Lily and Jamie were left before saying, “Could you two keep watch?”
They both nodded and took steps to block any of the guys coming into the tent.
As I stepped behind the partition, adrenaline started to buzz through my veins.
This was really happening.
I was finally getting a chance to right my wrongs.
16
Jon
* * *
She left.
I can't believe she left. Once again, I had hoped that maybe she would stay. Talk to me. Explain why she felt the need to save everyone. Especially him.
Instead, she walked out, leaving me already missing her. My feet heavy as I stayed rooted in the middle of the tent, fighting the urge to run outside and take her away and hide her until it was all over.
The last time she had tried to save someone, she came back broken beyond measure… What would she be like after this?
The sound of
footsteps pulled me from my worry, just as shadows of men danced along my tent walls. It was her and the men that had chosen to go with her, I had no doubt.
Now I wished I had thought to ask who was going with her.
Claius was rarely far from her side, so that was at least one I could trust. She had mentioned Rafe earlier... I hoped he kept his mouth shut. Everyone in the village knew how he felt about Robin and her people. Everyone except for Robin. A lot of things had been kept from her.
How much did she know now?
And what made men follow her on this day into what was to be a storm waiting to happen?
When it came to Claius, the reason was obvious. To everyone except Robin, that was.
Love.
He didn't think I knew. But it was like looking in a mirror. Not to mention Claius had been by my side since I first left home, and I had never seen him so attached.
When I had first brought her back from the dungeon, he had become entranced by her. Never leaving her side, unless me or Lily made him. If I didn't know better, I would say his beast had declared her his mate, but shifters only mated with other shifters. Sure, they married humans, but it wasn’t the same thing. At least that’s what my mother had said.
The footsteps grew fainter, and with each step, my doubts increased. Should I go with her? Was I wrong to let her go? Did she really want me to?
Maybe I was already too late.
Too late for a lot of things.
I rubbed at the ever-increasing headache in the middle of my forehead.
The clang of swords reverberated through me.
Men I had sworn to keep safe had started to practice every night before bed. A way to keep themselves safe, they said.
Robin was changing them.
She was changing everything.
The fact they thought they had to keep themselves safe hurt. But if I was honest, it was smart. Maybe I shouldn’t have walked away when Robin and I had sparred. Instead, I let her words get into my head.
It seemed the people of my camp realized before me war was coming. Whether I wanted it to or not. But what they probably didn't realize was the only girl I had even attempted to love was going out there to save them. To save me.
The Vengeful Robin Page 11
