by Angela Blake
“You’re right, okay? It’s my fault. It’s my Goddamn fault, you happy now?” He stood up abruptly, and gazed at her with barely concealed sadness.
Esmeralda stood up. “Why are you angry all of a sudden? I was just stating the facts.”
Daniel went rigid. “Okay, thank you for stating the facts.” He brushed past her and went to mingle with some of the other guests.
She saw him stand next to a petite blonde and begin to chat her up. The blonde tossed her head back and laughed. Esmeralda dug her nails into her palm as she tried to keep from marching over there and finishing what they had started.
“You and your boyfriend having trouble?” Ahmed, the tour guide who winked at her earlier, asked as he stood next to her puffing on a cigarette. He blew rings out of his mouth as he stared at her through hooded eyes.
“He’s not my boyfriend.”
“Pity. Care to dance?”
Esmeralda turned to stare at him. Her first reaction was to say no, but after she saw that Daniel had already begun dancing with the petite blonde.
“I’d love to.” She smiled.
They made their way onto the dance floor, and Daniel caught her eye across the dance floor. He grimaced as he noticed who she was dancing with. She gave him a pointed look before she turned all her attention to Ahmed. Beneath the pulsing lights, and the pounding music, Esmeralda could almost forget the man across the dance floor who obviously still had a very big effect on her.
Ahmed twirled her around, and she caught a glimpse of Daniel leaning in to whisper something in the blonde’s hair. She felt her stomach churn at the thought of him kissing her, so she turned to face Ahmed with an apologetic smile on her face.
“Ahmed, I’m really sorry, you’re a lovely dancer, but I’m not feeling well all of a sudden.”
Ahmed took a step back and gave her an easy smile. “No problem. I hope you feel better. We’re leaving in five minutes anyway.”
“Okay, great.” She wandered back to the pillows and dropped onto one as she did her best not to look at Daniel.
“Want me to go drag him across the dance floor and make him apologize?” Christina asked as she dropped next to her.
“No, it’s okay.” Esmeralda leaned her head against Christina’s shoulder as they waited for the tour guide to say that they were on their way back home.
***
The ride back to camp was filled with tense silence. Christina had offered to ride with Esmeralda on the way back to spare her the awkwardness, but Esmeralda knew that Christina really liked Jack.
Especially after she came clean, and it turned out that he wasn’t really into threesomes, and was really only saying that to impress her.
She sat behind Daniel on the beach buggy and tried not to lean into him anymore than necessary, but when a particularly hard speed bump nearly caused her to fall off, she had to lean forward and hold tight.
“Just hold onto me damn it, stop being so stubborn,” he growled after checking to make sure that she was okay, the worried look on his face transforming into one of annoyance.
“Bite me,” she retorted.
They rode the rest of the way in silence until they got to camp, and they each stalked off to their respective tents.
Chapter 9
Esmeralda grumbled as she shook her bag to empty out the contents. She began to kick things around the tent in frustration which is how Christina found her a while later, bent over whispering furiously at a sweater.
“What happened? Was the sweater having an affair with my jacket? Because I tried to keep that from you. I’m really sorry you had to find out this way.”
Esmeralda wheeled around to face her, her brown eyes ablaze with fury. “What?” She stared down at her hands, as if just realizing what had happened. “Oh.” She dropped the stuff and scowled at it.
“Why do men always say that we’re the complicated ones? We really aren’t that complicated. Sure, it may take us a while to figure out what we want, but once we do, that’s it, and we know for sure, but guys they go back and forth so many times, it’s like they’re PMSing.”
Christina surveyed the mess in the tent before she sighed and began to pick up the clothes. “I take it you’re talking about one man in general?”
Esmeralda blew her hair out of her face. “Am I that obvious?”
“Well, the messy tent is a no brainer.”
Esmeralda tightened her fist on a blouse she was holding. Christina reached out to take it from her. “Esme, release the blouse, slowly. That’s my blouse, okay? If you don’t mind, I’d rather you take your anger out on your own stuff, not mine.”
“I’m not angry.” She muttered, sullenly as she held out her hand with the blouse.
“Yeah, okay, you’re not angry.”
Esmeralda flushed as she began to clean up the mess she had made. Once they were both done cleaning up the mess, they plopped onto their sleeping bags and turned around to face each other.
“So what did Daniel do?”
“We agreed that we were going to be just friends when I went to his tent earlier today, but while we were talking, I don’t know what happened, it’s like the rest of the world just melted away, and we were in this place where nothing else mattered, sort of like we were suspended in time.”
“And?” Christina prompted as she rummaged around for something in her bag. She produced an apple a while later, and she dug her teeth into it.
“And nothing. One thing led to another, next thing I know we’re both half naked.”
Bits of chewed apple came flying out of Christina’s mouth as she choked. “What?”
Esmeralda began to pat her back as she handed her a bottle of water. “I told you earlier, remember?”
Christina took a huge gulp of water, coughed, then turned to glare at Esmeralda. “Um, no you didn’t. I would’ve remembered you telling me that you’d gotten half naked with your ex when all you want to do is talk to him.”
“But I did when you said that it was obvious that something had happened,” Esmeralda protested.
Recognition dawned on Christina’s face. “I didn’t think you meant that. I thought you guys just fooled around a little, I didn’t know clothes had come off, and that you were half naked.”
Christina paused. “Wait a minute. Did you two—” she trailed off as Esmeralda hastened to correct her. “Oh, no, no. Not because we didn’t want to or, or at least I think we wanted to. I don’t know the moment was pretty intense.”
“So why did you stop?”
“It was actually you that stopped us.”
Christina drew back and looked confused. “You mean like I was the voice of reason in this scenario? Well, I’m flattered that you think I’m Jiminy Cricket, but I don’t want to know that apparently I’m your conscience even in situations like this.”
Esmeralda shook her head in amusement. “Not like that. I mean literally you, or rather your voice when you were looking for me, thinking that I was lost.”
“You mean you could hear me, and you were hiding from me?”
“Not on purpose, it’s just that we were half naked, and in an awkward position when you started calling me, and I didn’t think you’d want to see me like that, so we tried to keep quiet.”
“Yeah, thanks for saving me from the horror of witnessing my best friend, half naked underneath her ex.” She commented, very dryly. “How considerate of you. I bet you were just waiting for me to leave, so you could finish what you started.”
Esmeralda blushed. “Not that the thought hadn’t crossed my mind, briefly, but we didn’t. The moment passed when we both started giggling at the thought of being caught by you. I don’t even know why we were giggling to be honest.”
“You were probably high,” Christina responded, in a dead pan voice.
An amused smile made its way to Esmeralda’s lips. “Well, high off of each other, maybe.”
Christina made a fake gagging noise. “Esme, all joking aside, you need to be careful. I know that
Daniel meant a great deal to you, once, but you cannot get sucked back in if nothing has changed. You remember how depressed you got when he left.”
Esmeralda placed her hand on Christina’s arm. “I know you’re trying to look out for me, Chris, but I think I’ve got this, or at least I’m trying to. He’s someone I cared – care,” she hastened to correct herself, “about very much, but unless his reasons change, I can’t see us really having anything to do with each other beyond this trip.”
“This doesn’t explain why earlier, after being all cozy and stuff, you both stalked off, and almost bit each other’s head off when you had to get on the beach buggy together.” Christina pointed out as she folded her hands in her lip.
“Right, that. Well, Daniel got jealous because the tour guide just randomly winked at me, so I called him out on his jealousy which he didn’t like, things escalated, and he stalked off.”
“Esmeralda,” Christina bit her bottom lip as she stared down at her lap for a minute before her eyes rose up to meet Esmeralda’s. “I know you don’t want to hear this right now, or maybe ever, and I’m not saying this to be mean, but I don’t think you guys are ready to have a normal functioning adult relationship.”
Esmeralda began toying with a loose strand of thread. “Why do you say that?”
“Because I saw the way you guys looked at each other today, and the way you acted around each other. It was like you were still a couple. That spark you two shared the first time you met, it was still very much alive today.”
Esmeralda stopped toying with the loose thread and buried her face in her hands. “I know. I felt it, but what are we supposed to do?”
Christina patted Esmeralda’s head. “There’s nothing to do, I guess. Unless Daniel changes his mind, and if he doesn’t, you’re just right back where you started, but let’s say that he does change his mind, would you take him back?”
Esmeralda peeked at Christina from behind her hands before she lifted her head up. “ I want to say no because if he left once for a silly reason then that means I can’t count on him to stand by me through the hardships, but honestly, I think I might take him back if he wanted to come back.”
“Well, I hope you’re one hundred percent certain before you do.”
***
Esmeralda rolled over, and her eyes fluttered open as she stared at the top of their tent trying to remember what day it was. Today was the day they’d be hiking Saint Catherine, but that was later on in the day. For now, they had the morning off.
Esmeralda and Christina agreed that they’d go swimming, do a little bit of snorkeling around the reefs nearby, and then get a little tan.
Esmeralda smiled to herself as she stretched her limbs luxuriously, liking the feeling that she had nothing to do in the morning.
She groaned in satisfaction as she felt her muscles pop. She turned on her side to face Christina who lay sprawled on her tent, her hands and legs spread about her, her hair a tangled mess, and her mouth slightly open.
Esmeralda grinned evilly as she crawled towards her jeans. She took out her phone and quietly snapped a picture of Christina for future blackmail purposes. She’d probably want to kill Esmeralda if she threatened to post it on Instagram, but Esmeralda thought it was hilarious.
She sighed as she wrapped her arms around her legs before she decided to take a walk before Christina woke up then they could go get breakfast.
She stepped out into the brusque morning air, and she inhaled deeply as she felt the clean desert air fill her lungs. She zipped up the tent as she shrugged on her parka.
She began to wander aimlessly around the campsite noting that almost everyone was still sleeping. She stood at the edge of the water, and she marveled at the way it shimmered and glittered in the morning sun as if the whole place was filled with tiny diamonds winking beneath the water’s surface, as if they beheld secrets mortals knew nothing about.
She bent down, stripped off her socks and took off her shoes. She carefully placed them by the edge of the water before she rolled her pants up just a little and dipped her feet into the sand. The water was warm, and she sighed as she felt slosh over her. She wedged her toes into the sand, and smiled at the squishy feeling she got.
“The water’s warm, eh?”
Esmeralda’s head swiveled around as if she was somehow caught doing something wrong. Her eyes narrowed as she realized that it was only Daniel. She turned back around as he came to stand next to her.
He repeated the same motions she did until they were standing side by side in silence.
“Are you going to keep giving me the silent treatment?”
“That depends.” Esmeralda crossed her arms over her chest.
“On?”
He turned to face her, and she met his gaze without flinching. “Are you going to keep acting like an ass?”
Daniel smiled, wryly. “Good point. It’s not that I want to be. You get me so riled up sometimes, and you really know how to get under my skin, and I know that’s not a good excuse. It’s not meant as an excuse, but more like an explanation. I know I had no right to get mad at you yesterday. We’re not together. It simply isn’t my place. But seeing another guy wink at you, and you smiling back, it made something inside me hurt, so I lashed out.”
He paused as he shrugged before he said quietly. “I don’t like this anymore than you do, Esme, but I know you feel it too, this pull between us.”
“I do.” She whispered. Daniel brought his hand up to touch her face, and Esmeralda let him. They maintained eye contact the whole time as he traced her forehead, her brow, her nose, her cheeks, her eyes, and finally her lips.
He paused there, and Esmeralda’s lips parted as he traced them reverently. She sucked in a breath as his eyes darkened. “What are we doing?” she said as much to herself as to him.
“I don’t know,” he said, sounding just as baffled as she felt. “I just know that I can’t be around you without feeling the need to touch you.”
“Being around you, it’s like —” She paused. “It’s like I’m on fire, like every nerve in my body is alive, and I know you feel the same, but I just don’t know what we’re supposed to do about it.”
Daniel opened his mouth to say something before they both heard Christina’s voice calling out to Esmeralda.
“Foiled again,” he said as he removed his fingers and took a step back. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he gazed at her apologetically.
Esmeralda gave him a sad smile before she picked up her shoes, socks and went off in search of Christina.
Chapter 10
“Ready to go for a swim?” Christina asked excitedly, as she slipped off her shorts and tossed her shirt into a heap beside Esmeralda.
“Are you sure the water is warm?” Esmeralda looked at the water, skeptically.
“Once you get used to it, it’ll be great.” Christina grinned as she ran towards the water. She stood there for a moment, her arms stretched out, and her eyes closed in absolute rapture.
She dipped her toe into the water and shrieked. “The water is great.”
Esmeralda crossed her arms over her chest and eyed Christina speculatively. “Yeah, right. Is that why you were shrieking just now? I don’t believe you, Chris.”
Christina stuck her tongue out at Esmeralda before she turned and splashed into the water. Esmeralda could see the ripples as she moved deeper and deeper into the water.
Her head surfaced a while later, and she waved at Esmeralda as she waved back. She made a movement with her hand before her face broke out into an even bigger grin.
Esmeralda turned around and saw Jack standing there waving at Christina. Esmeralda gave him a small wave as he walked over to her. He had stripped down to his boxer swimsuits, but he kept eyeing the water as if it was some sort of specimen he needed to study.
“You’re not going to go in?”
“Probably later.”
Jack nodded as he took a deep breath. “I’m not a big fan of squishy stuff touching
my body, but it’s now or never. Here it goes.”
He splashed into the water, and Esmeralda ducked to the side as a wave water nearly drenched her. She shook her head in amusement as she watched Jack swim over to Christina.
They smiled as they spotted next to each other. Christina motioned that Esmeralda should come, but Esmeralda shrugged and pointed at her watch.
She wanted to give Christina some alone time with Jack, and this would also give her a chance to catch up on some reading. She had recently brought this book called Serena by Ron Rash. A friend from work had recommended it, and even though she found it hard to relate to the heroine who, in her opinion, seemed strangely cool and calculating even in situations where compassion is needed, she was determined to push through and finish it.
Esmeralda headed back to the beach and made a makeshift pillow out of her sweater, and Christina’s clothes. She fluffed them up and laid them behind her back as she kicked off her flip flops.
She took her time lathering sunscreen on her arms, legs, chest and face. After she was done, she took off her shirt and tossed it to the side revealing a black and white one piece. She slipped her sunglasses on, crossed one leg over the other and cracked her book open and began to read.
An hour later, she felt a huge shadow blocking the sun. She frowned as she moved her back a little to catch the angle of the sun once more, but the outline seemed to move with her.
She sighed as she looked up at the figure. “Do you mind you’re blocking my—“ She trailed off as she took in the sight of Daniel standing there in his swim trunks, his tan chest gleaming in the sun as sweat rolled off of his abs.
Esmeralda swallowed audibly as she realized she was still wearing her sunglasses which meant she could check him out and not worry about turning red if he caught her. She admired the smooth plans of his stomach, his taut muscles, and the smattering of hair on his stomach especially the ones around the V shaped area that led straight to his happy trail.
“I don’t mind you getting in my way,” he teased as he threw his towel next to her. He sat down next to her and gave her a winning smile.
