by Jana Oliver
The cold fire in Beck’s eyes told her that this wasn’t a friend. ‘Hadley,’ he said.
‘Hey, Denny. I heard you were back.’
Along with all the other Sadlervillians.
Riley gave the newcomer another look-over, and he smiled back. Cute.
When her eyes drifted back to Beck’s she found something new in them: raw jealousy. Maybe it was wrong, but part of her liked that a lot.
‘I’m Cole,’ the guy said, sticking out his hand.
She shook it to be polite, though she knew Beck wasn’t happy about it. ‘Riley.’
Beck shifted out of the bench seat in one swift move. For a second she thought he was going to challenge the guy, but instead he scooped up the bill and handed it and some cash to Karen as she walked by.
‘Gotta be goin’,’ he said, picking up his trapping bag.
To Beck’s obvious dismay, Cole followed them down the street. The vibes off this guy made her skittish, if nothing more than the fact that Beck’s fuse was shorter than usual.
‘What brings you to the middle of nowhere?’ he asked.
Beck didn’t reply, so she did. ‘His mom.’
‘You know her?’ When Riley shook her head, he continued. ‘Well, then you’re in for a surprise.’
Wary, she shot a look over at her fellow trapper. The frown on his face was bone deep now. Riley swung her attention back to the guy walking next to her. Since Beck wasn’t talking, she might as well be polite. ‘So how do you two know each other?’
‘We used to hang together before he moved away.’
She guessed hang together probably including all those sins Backwoods Boy didn’t want her to know about.
So why are you talking to me? Are you trying to get under Beck’s skin or is it something else?
They’d reached the truck now and Cole leaned up against a light pole, the smirk back again.
‘See you later, Riley,’ he called out. ‘Don’t let Denny take you into the swamp. That’s a one-way trip.’
Beck’s growl echoed roughly in his throat. ‘Get in the truck, girl.’ The way he held himself told her not to argue.
Whatever was between these two guys was deeply personal.
‘Sure, why not?’ she grumbled. Riley took his keys and climbed into the pickup, making sure to slam the door to let Beck know she wasn’t happy with his dictator attitude.
Though she tried to hear what was said, they kept it quiet. She was willing to bet it was Beck telling Cole to stay the hell away from her and Cole suggesting his old friend go screw himself. She knew her guess was right when Cole laughed, winked at her and then walked away.
‘You’re cute, dude, but you’re totally suicidal.’
When Beck climbed into the truck, he looked ready to explode as his backpack thumped on the seat between them.
‘So what’s with him?’ she asked.
‘Nothing ya want to know,’ was the curt reply.
‘Tell me or I’ll ask Cole myself. You know me, I’ll do it,’ she warned.
He heaved a sigh. ‘He’s an arrogant SOB who will play all nice and then leave ya hangin’ out to dry. Or in your case . . .’ He shook his head. ‘Just stay away from him. He’s bad news.’
‘Care to be more specifc?’
‘No, I don’t. Ya have to take my word for it.’
Strangely enough she would do just that. Beck had always been too overprotective, but he had a sixth sense when it came to trouble. If he said Cole of the Dark Eyes was bad news, then she believed him.
‘Got it. I’ll keep out of his way.’
Beck gave her a bewildered look, as if he’d expected her to defy him. ‘OK . . .’
‘You’ve got enough going on without having to worry about that guy. I’m here for you, no one else.’
Something changed in his face. ‘Sorry. I’ve been really . . . mean. I’m not good with things down here. Too much bad stuff.’
‘Really? I hadn’t noticed,’ she jested, then grew serious. ‘I don’t care what you did or who you did it with when you were sixteen. It does not matter to me.’
‘I’d like to believe that. God, I would.’
‘Then when this is all over and we’re headed back to Atlanta, you ask me if I think any differently about you.’
‘Fair enough,’ he said, putting the truck in reverse and pulling out on to the street.
Chapter Five
Beck insisted on driving her around so she could ‘get a feel of Sadlersville’, which didn’t tell her much other than he wasn’t keen to get to the hospital. Another hint that his relationship with his mother was way complicated.
As Georgia towns went, Sadlersville wasn’t very old, dating from early in the twentieth century. The founding father, Joseph Sadler, had been a railroad man and there was still a steady stream of trains lumbering through the city. Though it wasn’t big, it did have churches – almost all of them Baptist. In Atlanta they would have combined them all into one megachurch, but down here each had their own little building and congregation. Add in a school, a hospital, a laundromat, grocery store and a funeral parlour and that was the sum of Beck’s hometown.
‘I couldn’t handle this,’ Riley said. ‘No way. Too small. Nothing to do.’
Beck snorted. ‘Oh, ya’d be surprised what kind of trouble you can find in a town like this.’
‘Oh, you mean trouble like picking up dumb chicks who aren’t smart enough to know your game?’
Beck frowned. ‘I’m sorry Walker said that. That wasn’t right.’
‘Is his wife still with him?’
‘Nah. Took off a few months after I moved to Atlanta with a guy who builds swimmin’ pools. Never came back.’
‘So why did you leave town?’ she asked.
‘Didn’t have a choice. Walker got in my face one night when I was drunk. When I told him I wasn’t the only one who’d had his missus, he laid into me and I went after him with my knife. We both ended up bloody.’
‘Were you like stupid or what?’ she blurted.
‘Yeah, I was more mouth than brains back then.’ He grimaced at the memory. ‘Donovan threw Walker in jail to sober up. After a trip to the ER, he made me pack my clothes and then he hauled my butt to my uncle’s place in Atlanta. Told me to stay up there if I didn’t want to end up in jail, because if I came back home before a year was up he’d make sure that happened.’
‘So that’s what brought you to Atlanta. I always wondered.’
He issued a lengthy sigh. ‘Time I go see the old lady. Can’t put it off any longer.’
‘Won’t she pleased you’re here?’
‘I’m not countin’ on that.’
Riley’s knowledge of Beck’s mother was pretty scant – Sadie had never married, she had an alcohol problem and treated her kid like he was dirt. And her son hated her for it. Or maybe he didn’t because you never knew with Beck. One thing for sure, he never referred to Sadie as his mother. That in itself spoke volumes.
Beck pulled on to the main drag, as he called it, and headed north. They passed another small restaurant, a dentist’s office, a tyre store and finally turned into a long drive that led to a single storey red brick building.
‘Not as big as the hospitals in Atlanta, but they do a good job,’ he said. He hadn’t said like the hospitals back home. That meant he still considered Sadlersville his home even though it appeared the residents might not agree.
Beck parked in the lot, hopped out of the truck and then stopped dead in his tracks. Riley locked her door and walked round to him. He was leaning against the side of the pickup now, staring at nothing.
‘You OK?’
He shook his head. ‘Ya should stay here.’
Beck’s proper ‘you’s had become ‘ya’s again. He was definitely stressing out about this visit.
‘Sadie’s not like yer momma was, Riley.’ He rubbed a hand across his face in agitation. ‘Nothin’ like her.’
‘She can’t be that bad.’
Beck looked over
at her. ‘She’s a mean old cuss who likes to hurt people, especially me. If she can do that by hurtin’ someone I . . . like . . . she’ll be just as happy.’
‘Why does she act that way?’
‘Some folks keep hatin’ long past when it’s best to let stuff go.’
That still didn’t explain why there was such bad blood between her and her son. Asking that question was sure to get Riley a load of grief, so she filed it away for later.
Beck made one more fervent request for her to remain in the truck, but Riley refused. ‘I’ll deal, no matter what.’
‘We’re both gonna regret this, I swear it,’ he murmured.
‘My choice,’ she replied. No way she’s as bad as you say.
They pushed through the double doors that led to the hospital lobby and Beck stopped at the reception desk to find out his mother’s room number. The waiting room was empty, magazines stacked in neat piles on the end tables. To the right was a set of doors that led to the cafeteria and a couple of nurses were in there, holding coffee cups and chatting.
Beck returned. ‘They’re pagin’ her doctor now. I want to talk to him first.’
Riley nodded, though this was proving harder than she’d expected. Her mom had spent countless hours inside a hospital for chemotherapy that hadn’t worked, until her body gave up. Just being in such a building brought up too many unhappy memories.
A tall, greying man in street clothes approached them. ‘Denver?’
They shook hands. ‘Doctor Hodges. Thanks for seein’ us.’
‘Sorry it’s not in better circumstances.’
Beck introduced Riley and then the doctor ushered them down the hall and into a smaller waiting room where he gestured for them to sit. After he’d closed the door, Hodges took a seat as well. Now that Riley could study him he really didn’t look like a physician, more like a farmer with a wrinkled, tanned face and calloused hands.
‘How much has your mother told you?’ the doctor asked.
‘Nothin’. It was Donovan who let me know she has cancer.’
The doctor shook his head. ‘I tried to get her to call you, but you know how she is.’
‘How long?’ Beck asked, his voice raspy.
‘A few days, maybe less. I’m thinking the only reason she hasn’t gone yet is she was waiting to see you.’
‘She doesn’t care about that.’
‘Sometimes what people say and what they feel are two different things.’ The doctor straightened up. ‘Are you staying here in town?’
‘We’re out at the motel.’
‘Make sure the nurse’s station has your phone number.’ He rose. ‘I’m sorry that we can’t do more. Make your peace with her if you can. Time’s running out.’
Beck nodded and rose, shaking the man’s hand again. After the doctor had left, Beck closed the door behind him, then sank on to a seat, his head in his hands. Riley remembered what it had been like when the doctor had told her and her father the end was coming. The sense of utter helplessness. She put her hand on Beck’s shoulder and it shook underneath her fingers.
‘I always hoped . . . that we’d . . . find a way to get along.’ He looked up, his eyes brimming, then rubbed away the tears with the back of his hand. ‘But every time I tried she didn’t want nothin’ to do with me. She says I’m a total loser, not worth her time.’
What kind of mother is she?
Riley laid her head against his, curling her arm round his broad shoulders, and gave him a hug. ‘She’s wrong. You’re not a loser, Beck. You’re a very cool guy.’
He sniffed once and pulled away, rising slowly out of his seat. Another swipe at the tears and then he donned his stone face, the one that wouldn’t let the world see how bad he was hurting.
‘Come on. It’s time for ya to meet her.’
Sadie Beck didn’t have a roommate, and her bed was near the window. A moment before Beck stepped round the curtain he paused, like he was layering on additional defensive armour before an engagement with the enemy.
She didn’t look her fifty years of age, but at least a decade older. Her skin was sallow, lined, her collar-length blonde hair the same colour as Beck’s, except it was riddled with dull grey. She had an oxygen tube in her nose and each breath seemed to require a monumental amount of effort. Bloodshot brown eyes scrutinized her visitors. Her focus wasn’t on Riley, but on her son.
‘Damn, I must be dead and this is hell,’ she said. ‘Why else would ya be here?’
Riley gaped. Maybe this was some kind of weird joke between them. She shot a glance at Beck and from the pained expression she knew it wasn’t.
‘Sadie,’ he said, his voice low. ‘Don’t start. Not now. Not with what’s happenin’.’
The patient began to cough, a thick spasm that caused her to jerk on the bed. When Beck didn’t move, Riley stepped closer, dug into the box for a handful of tissues and handed them over. Sadie spat bright blood into the pristine white.
The patient gave her the eye. ‘So who are you? His latest bit of ass?’
What? ‘No,’ Riley replied. ‘I’m a . . . friend.’ Maybe more than that.
A snort. ‘Liar. He don’t have no friends. Isn’t that right, Denver?’
‘Riley and I came down to be with ya and—’
Sadie waved him away with a bony arm. ‘Don’t need ya. Never did.’
‘I know. Right now ya do.’
She shook her head. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll be outta here soon enough. That’s what ya want anyways.’
‘Ya know what I want,’ he said, his voice trembling. ‘Ya’ve known that since I was old enough to talk.’
‘It don’t matter anyways.’ She coughed harder now.
‘Mr Beck?’ a voice called out. The nurse at the door gestured for him to join her and he didn’t seem pleased with the interruption.
Riley wasn’t sure if she should follow him or not. Unable to make a decision, she remained rooted in place. He gave her a worried look from the door.
‘Go on,’ Riley urged, and Beck reluctantly followed the nurse down the hall.
Sadie issued a throaty chuckle. ‘Yer prettier than most of the ones he’s been with.’
‘We’re not dating. We trap demons together.’
‘I know. I read about ya in the paper.’
If you can read, why didn’t you teach your son?
‘Then you know Beck saved some of the other trappers’ lives.’
The woman shrugged. ‘He’s always played the hero. Never got him anywhere.’
It was like suddenly discovering an alien species. Riley frowned, trying to wrap her mind round someone so callous, so self-centred that they couldn’t see anything but themselves. It would be easy to believe that it was because of the illness, but the malice was so deep Riley felt that wasn’t the case.
‘I would think you would be proud of him,’ she said.
‘Ah, ain’t that pretty. Yer standin’ up for him. Yer as stupid as I was. I believed everythin’ guys told me and it was all lies. Ya’ll learn soon enough.’
‘I’ve already learned that lesson,’ Riley replied. ‘Beck isn’t that kind of guy.’
‘He’s not told ya everythin’. He never will. He don’t trust no one.’ Sadie’s breathing grew laboured. ‘Ask him about the time I dumped him in the swamp.’ The woman shook her head. ‘Only eight years old and I knew then he was trouble then.’
‘You left him . . .’ Riley’s fingers tightened on the bed frame. ‘How could you do that? He’s your child.’
‘Because ya gotta cut ’em loose.’ She waved Riley off. ‘Now get the hell outta here and let me die in peace.’
Shocked, Riley hurried out of the room. It’s the pain medication. Has to be.
Riley found Beck at the nurse’s station where he was giving a registered nurse his contact information. He looked wiped, like the few minutes he’d spent in his mother’s presence had drained him of life force. Riley felt the same way.
With a mumbled apology, she hurried pas
t him and headed towards the front of the building, desperate to breathe fresh air. Maybe then she could sort out her impressions of the dying woman.
Beck caught up with her as she exited the building. ‘Riley? What happened?’
She kept walking. Sadie was just being mean, trying to psych her out.
‘What did she say?’ Beck asked, catching her arm. He sounded panicky.
Riley turned to him, gazing up into the face of the man she thought she loved. What did she really know about him other than he’d grown up down here, been to the war and come back a hero? That he didn’t like commitment and he owned a rabbit. But what else? He’d hidden so much of his past from her. From everyone. Was there a side to him that she hadn’t seen yet, one that his mother knew so well?
‘Riley?’ he urged. ‘Talk to me.’
She shook her head, trying to clear it of all the conflicting thoughts. ‘Your mother said she left you in the swamp, tried to get rid of you. Is that true, Beck? Did she do that?’
He lowered his eyes to the ground.
‘Beck?’
He stepped back, his expression blank. ‘Just one of her crazy stories,’ he said.
He’s lying. It was just like his mom had said. But why would he deny it?
As Riley waited for him to unlock the truck doors, some part of her was frozen inside. Sadie’s poisonous words had wormed their way into her mind.
What if she’s right and I really don’t know the real Beck?
Chapter Six
Beck took the side streets to Sadie’s house, concerned about Riley’s silence since they’d left the hospital. That was Sadie’s trick: she’d get in your head and you’d find it hard to separate truth from lies. No matter what you said to the old lady, she sucked it up and spat it back at you as verbal acid. She was better at it than some of Lucifer’s demons.
Why does she try to destroy everythin’ good in my life?
He’d never hurt her. All he’d tried to do was to love her, and she’d had none of it since the moment he’d been born.
