by Portia Moore
“And of course I have more apartments. I’m rich, remember? I wanted it all to be a surprise.”
I turn to look at him.
“Suprise?” I ask him reluctantly. His face tenses a bit.
“Yes, Poppy! Everything that’s mine will soon be yours, too. You’ll have multiple properties here in the city, out of state, vacation homes out of the country. There’s plenty that I have to show you still. But I want to save some of it for later.”
It sounds good; the explanation is plausible. I’m not so young and stupid to not think he’d have other properties. He has his own jet for goodness’ sake.
I relax back into the seat. “I didn’t mean to doubt you, I was just taken off guard,” I say hesitantly as he takes my other hand and slides his fingers through mine. “It threw me off that other people know more about you than I do.”
“There’s always going to be people who know some things that I might not have told you yet, or didn’t think was important,” Vincent says calmly. “And there may be people who say things that aren’t true. Now that you’re about to be Ms. Jamison, there will be a lot of people who are jealous, want what you have, and plant things in your head to destroy our happiness. You just have to trust me, okay? I only want what’s best for you and for us. You know all the important things, Poppy, I swear to you.”
I know all the important things. I try my best to believe it.
The next morning, I wake to the sound of my phone ringing. Vincent is gone already, something that has become more and more common lately. I roll over sleepily and reach for my phone…it’s my mom!
“Mom?” I ask excitedly as I answer. “Mom, I’m so glad you’re finally calling me back—”
“I have a letter for you, Rain,” she says, her voice flat. I can feel some of the joy leaking out of me at the sound of it. “It’s from Columbia College.”
“Oh my god.” I feel my stomach knot. It suddenly feels harder to breathe. “Can you open it and tell me what it says?”
I hear the crinkling of paper on the other end of the line, and I wait breathlessly for her to say something.
“You’ve come up on the list, Rain!” As upset as I know she is, she can’t hide the sound of pride in her voice. “You’re in!”
“I can’t believe this!” I yell out, clutching the phone against my ear. “I’m going to college, Mom!”
“You are!” she says, her voice sounding as shocked as mine. “I am so proud of you, Rain. I know how much you’ve wanted this.”
“I can’t wait to tell Vincent. He’s going to be so excited!” I’m grinning madly, thinking of how excited he’s going to be when I tell him, and I notice the silence on the other end of the line.
“Mom…” I begin hesitantly. “I know you don’t like Vincent. And I’m sorry I overreacted at the party. I’ve been trying to call you and tell you exactly that. But after you left…Vincent asked me to marry him.”
“He asked you to marry him?” She says, her voice unreadable.
“Yes. See, his intentions have been good. We’re getting married. And I really, really want you to be there. All of you. I want my family at my wedding.”
“Rain, marriage is a big deal. You’re so young—”
“Mom, don’t! Okay? I want you to be happy for me. You said that you didn’t trust Vincent because you thought he was using me or would get tired of me or something, but he’s not! He wants me to be his wife, he wants to take care of me, and if he takes care of me, I can take care of all of us. Please please please don’t ruin this!” I beg her breathlessly, tears in my eyes. There’s another stretch of silence on the phone. I just want her to be happy for me. Please, just let her be happy for me.
“Rain, you’re my daughter. I wouldn’t miss your wedding for the world, and neither would your father. I just want you to be sure.” Her words are cautious, and I can tell she’s trying. So I can try for her.
“I am sure. I love him so much. He’s always been so good to me. This really is what I want.”
“Okay, if this is what you want.” She doesn’t sound ecstatic or happy how I always imagined she’d be when I told her I was getting married, but she doesn’t sound angry. She’s trying, and as we plan the wedding and she really gets to know Vincent, she’ll come around. Everything is finally falling into place.
Chapter 30
Zach
Three years earlier
If I had to trace it all back to the one moment in time when everything changed, it would be last night. That kiss, in our old spot in the woods. Because that was the moment when I realized that I wanted Rain. Not just for a night, not just because she was off-limits…but forever. And I wanted to be the man she deserved.
The next day, I wake up, clear-headed, and I go over it again—everything that happened the day before. The guys asking me to leave, Jade mapping out our life together, and me turning it all down. Me running to Rain, telling her the truth about my family…and her just accepting it. Believing in me. Believing that I can be my own person.
That I don’t have to turn out like my father.
How did I not see that Rain is waiting for me? That she wants me to be her first, that she fucking loves me? She didn’t say it, but I felt it. It was evident in every inch of her, in the way she kissed me, touched me, breathed me in…it was everything.
And I love her, too.
I’ve always told myself I love her like a sister, like a friend, but it’s just a lie that I’ve been telling myself because I’m afraid of ending up like my father, afraid of loving Rain completely and then hurting her in ways I can’t even imagine. She saw right through it the minute I told her the truth about my family because she knows me better than anyone.
She’s my other half, my match. I’ve known it all along, I just haven’t wanted to admit it.
I don’t even wait to eat breakfast. With the memory of Rain’s lips still in my head, I get dressed and go out to my car. I have a plan, one that doesn’t make me feel like I can’t breathe. One that’s freeing. I think of the future that I wouldn’t allow myself to imagine for so long. One where me and Rain can be together.
So I take steps to do exactly that. I go to the local vocational school, and I sign up for a GED program. The lady behind the desk is sweet and patient, and helps me fill out the forms, then gives me a schedule for testing. I drive to the nearest warehouse, one that I saw had a hiring sign out front a few days ago.
I walk straight in and ask to see whoever is in charge.
The guy in charge is a big guy, older than my dad, and looks grouchy. He takes me in—my messy hair, jeans, my t-shirt, and looks unimpressed. “What do you want, kid?” he asks. “I’m busy today.”
“I want a job,” I tell him flatly. “I saw you were hiring.”
“How old are you?”
“Eighteen.”
“Any work experience?”
I hesitate. “No, sir. But I work on cars. And I know what it’s like to work hard. I can pick up on anything you need me to do.”
The man snorts. “You’ve never worked, but you know what it’s like to work hard? Bullshit. You’d be a pain in my ass, probably.”
“My father’s worked in a factory for thirty years,” I tell him. “I see him come home every day and hear him talk about it. I know it’s rough work, in a warehouse or a factory or anywhere else like that. But I want to make something better of myself. So if you’ll give me a chance, I won’t let you down.”
The man considers it. I see him looking me over, sizing me up. “Alright,” he says finally. “Two weeks to start, to see how you do. And then we’ll go from there.”
All I can think about is Rain’s face when I tell her. I drive around town until she’s out of school, my heart hammering in my chest. Everything seems bright, new, promising.
I feel like I have a real shot at this. At being better.
I pull into Rain’s driveway just as she’s getting home. I see the surprise on her face as I park the car and leap out, walking
quickly towards her.
“Zach?” She looks at me, cautiously. “What’s going on? Are you okay? Is it about last night?”
“No,” I say, and then when I see the expression on her face, I quickly amend it. “Well, kind of. I have good news.”
She leans her bike against the house and looks at me. “What?” she asks me with a wary smile.
“I went and signed up to take my GED today, Rain. And I got a job at a warehouse.”
Rain looks stunned. She stares at me for several moments. “Are you serious? I heard from Roni that…”
“They’re leaving town. They’re going to California. They wanted me to go with them, but I couldn’t. I can’t. What they’re doing…it’s not the kind of life I want. I realized it…and now I’m trying to change. I’m trying to be better.”
“That’s…that’s fantastic.” She looks at me, her eyes soft and happy. She’s smiling, but I can see caution in her face. “Are you going to be happy?”
“Yes,” I tell her, and I’ve never been more sure of anything. “If you let me take you out Saturday night. Just us. On a real date.”
She blinks at me several times, shocked. “What…Zach…what are you talking about?”
“Us, Rain. I’m sorry, I’ve been an idiot this whole time. I’ve been stupid. I wanted you to have someone better than me. Someone good enough to deserve you. Now I’ve made up my mind to be the kind of man you deserve because I want you, Rain. I want us. I…” I fix my eyes on hers and take a step forward. My heart is rioting in my chest, my throat closing over with nervousness, but I say the words anyway.
The words I’ve never said to any other girl.
“I love you, Rain. And I’m going to do what’s right. For both of us.”
For a moment, she’s frozen. I take her wrist and pull her towards me and lift her chin, bringing my lips to hers. They’re soft and perfect, and soon her arms are around my neck. The late spring sunshine is beaming down on us. I know I’ve made the right choice. This is where I belong…forever.
With her. No matter what.
I walk into my house, feeling as if I’m floating on air. As excited as I was to tell Rain about the GED program and about the job, I’m excited to tell my mom, too. I know she’ll be proud of me.
What I’m not prepared for is to hear her piercing scream when I walk through the front door.
I rush towards the bedroom. I never go into my parents’ room, but the door is hanging open, and I can hear my mother shrieking and crying. I shove open the door and freeze in horror.
My mom is on the bed, her shirt torn, her skirt tangled around her legs. Her lip is split and bleeding, her eye blackening, and my father is standing over her, his face red with fury. He has his hands wrapped around her throat, calling her a lying bitch, a stupid whore.
He’s going to kill her. He won’t stop this time until she’s dead.
Unless I do something.
I have to do something.
“Stop it Dad!” I scream. It’s useless, and I know it. “You’re killing her!”
Instead, the full force of his anger turns on me, and he starts to advance towards me. He pushes me hard to the floor, and his feet land on my back and stomach. My mom screams and jumps on his back. He flings her off and starts kicking her on the ground. I push myself up. I can fight him, but I’m hurt, and my dad’s 6’3” 280-pound frame could snap my 180 pounds in half. If I lose, it could be both our lives.
There’s a shotgun in the closet. I know there is.
I run for it, snatch the door open, grab the gun, and pray that it’s loaded. As I turn and aim it at him, I see my mother’s eyes widen and she shrieks when she sees me.
“Get the fuck off her!” I tell him, the gun shaking in my hand. He lets her go, but his glare at me could melt ice.
“Get out!” I tell him, keeping the gun pointed on him.
“Put the gun down, Zach,” my mom pleads to me.
“Yeah, listen to your mom,” my dad says, inching towards me.
“No, not until you get the fuck out!” My voice is low but steadier than the gun in my hand.
“I’m not going anywhere!” he roars before charging at me. We fight for the gun, and then there’s a sound, louder than anything I’ve ever heard. We both fall to the floor.
I hear my mom scream. When I stand up, my ears are ringing. My dad’s on the floor, blood pouring from his shoulder.
He’s not dead.
I don’t know if I want him to be.
But he can’t hurt either of us, and that’s enough for now.
My mother pulls herself up to her feet slowly, staggering as she grabs onto the wall. “I’m calling the police,” she says thickly.
“That’s a good idea,” I say coldly. “He needs to go to fucking jail. Let me help you get—”
“No, Zach.” The words are muffled, almost unintelligible. Her lips are puffy and purple, but she keeps talking. “No, I’m calling them for you. You shot your father. How could you?” She’s crying again, but I realize that she’s crying because of me, and I go cold.
“He was going to kill you—” I start to say.
“He would never kill me! I made a mistake, I messed up. He was just teaching me a lesson…” Her words are droning on, and I realize these are just mantras, like the ones I had about Rain. Just things she keeps telling herself to convince herself of something that she knows isn’t true.
Rain.
“Mom, please…let me help you…”
“No.” Her voice is harsh. “Get away from me, Zach. I’m calling the police.” She stumbles down the hall, towards the phone, and I back up, my whole body going cold all over again. My father stirs and groans, and without thinking, I turn to run towards the front door.
I have to get out of here! I stumble down the steps and fall onto my knees on the front lawn. My whole life, I’ve wanted to help my mother, to protect her. And now that I could, now that I did, she hates me for it. She can’t accept who my father is. And so she’s going to blame me for hurting him.
For stopping him.
And then, kneeling in the cold grass, it hits me like a wave. Everything I’ve done today—the GED, the job, confessing to Rain how I feel—it was all for nothing. If I stay, I’ll go to jail. She’ll do anything to protect my dad.
I have to go. I have to get out of here.
I stumble towards my car, get inside, and start it up. I text Rain as I pull out of the driveway.
I need to see you. I’ll sneak in the window. Be there in a few.
Chapter 31
Rain
Present day
I’m nearly bouncing off the walls waiting for Vincent to come home. I can’t wait to tell him about school, that my mom and family are on board with us getting married. I can barely sit still as he walks into our living room after work. He tosses his briefcase on a chair and strips off his suit jacket, glancing at me with a curious smile on his handsome face. “You look like you’re about to explode, Poppy. What’s going on?”
I cross the room to get on my tiptoes and give him a soft, long kiss on the lips. I slide a finger through the knot on his tie to loosen it for him and pull him closer simultaneously. “Yes,” I murmur against his mouth, and then pull back. “I have really good news!”
“And?” He smiles indulgently at me. “What’s the news?”
“Well, the first thing is I finally talked to my mom, and she’s okay with us getting married,” I tell him excitedly. His wide glorious smile falters a little, and his thick eyebrows almost crush together.
“I’m glad for you. Though I didn’t think we needed her approval,” he says, coolly folding his arms. My wide smile starts to fade now.
“I-I didn’t need her approval. We didn’t need it, but you know how important my family is to me. I’m happy that she’s okay with us,” I explain, trying to hide my disappointment at his reaction. He sighs and half shrugs.
“As long as you’re happy, Poppy. I just don’t want you to let anyon
e get in the way of our happiness, so hopefully she stays okay with us because if she’s not, she certainly doesn’t have to be present.”
I look at him, my joyful mood starting to dwindle by the minute. I thought he’d be thrilled, if not for himself then for me, that he could at least pretend to be. Instead, he’s only looking equal parts annoyed and bored, and I’m so shocked I have to intentionally keep my mouth from falling open. He sits down casually on the sofa, obviously not seeing how his words have affected me. I try to pull myself together. There’s still more to tell him, some saving grace that will let all of this end on a good note.
“Was that all?” he asks, his eyes narrowing in on me, completely unimpressed with what I thought would make him elated. I pause to gather myself and force a smile, my mood lifting about what I’m going to tell him next. I rub my hands on my thighs and sit next to him, not able to contain the smile on my face at the thought. His smile matches mine now, and his mood rises, lifting a weight off my shoulders.
After all, my mom was extremely rude to him the last time he saw her, so of course he is still upset about how she treated him. He just needs time, like she does, and they’ll eventually warm to each other. This news I know for sure is going to please him. He’s going to be so proud of me!
“There’s more, better even,” I tell him, shaking the excited nerves from my body. I let out a deep breath. “I got a letter today…” I trail off, pausing for dramatic effect, and he nods for me to go on. “My name came up on the wait-list! I got into my program for school!” I say enthusiastically. I wait for him to join me in my obvious elation, but he just looks at me blankly, almost confused.
“School?” He says this dryly.
I blink at him. “Um…yeah. Remember, the fiction writing program I told you I was wait-listed for? My name’s come up.”
