by Fiona Lowe
He loved teasing her. ‘Yes, but at least it isn’t moving, like the green ants.’
‘True.’ She sounded sceptical. ‘What about I try a mussel first?’
He tucked a few stray stands of hair behind her ear. ‘You’re stalling.’
Indignation flared in her eyes and then laughter followed. ‘You know me too well.’
‘Hmm.’ He smiled but her words snagged him. He really didn’t know her very well at all because she played her cards so close to her chest.
‘OK, here goes.’ She leaned forward.
He dropped the snail into her open mouth and watched.
Her jaw moved up and down and then she swallowed. ‘It’s kind of like a leathery oyster but if I had my choice I prefer the barramundi.’ She sipped her drink. ‘I’ve always enjoyed fish. Dad used to take Michael and me fishing in a tinny and we’d catch flathead.’
Flynn took the mention of her brother as an invitation to find out more. ‘Were you and you brother close?’
‘We were close in age.’ She broke open the damper, and steam rose into the night air. She sighed. ‘I didn’t see very much of him in the last couple of years after he moved to Melbourne.’
‘Work?’ Flynn ate a whelk himself, enjoying the strong flavour.
Mia busied herself with buttering the damper. ‘Michael had been struggling for a while. He took a job in Melbourne to get away, to make a complete change.’
He wondered at her hesitation in answering. Why did she find it so very hard to talk about her family? ‘Did the move help him?’
She raised her eyes to his, the moonlight reflecting her sadness. ‘His death is listed as a car accident, which it was, but he was the sole occupant of the car. It ran off a straight stretch of road at four in the morning, hitting a tree.’
Code for suicide. As a doctor, Flynn knew that many single-vehicle accidents masked men who in the darkest hour of their depression decided to take their own lives. He put down his plate and wrapped his arms around her. ‘Hell, Mia. I’m sorry.’
She shuddered against him. ‘I should have done more, I should have gone over to visit him but I was—’ Her voice stopped abruptly.
He stroked her hair, trying to soothe. ‘You were taking care of your elderly mother.’
Her head shot up off his shoulder as if she’d been struck. She stared at him, her face pale and her expression shocked. ‘How did you know that?’
Her accusatory tone surprised him. ‘It’s not that hard to work out, Mia. You’re a nurse, a caring person, and your mum was unwell, so all the pieces of that story go together and lead to that conclusion.’ He kissed her cheek, wondering at her reaction. ‘It’s not a state secret, is it?’
She dropped her gaze and sat back. ‘No, sorry, of course it isn’t.’ She scooped up her plate and picked up a chunk of fish. ‘Talking of state secrets, I’ve wanted to know for ages, why do they call you turtle man?’
He knew she’d just deliberately changed the subject and he shouldn’t let her, but he didn’t want to push and ruin a perfect day and soon-to-be perfect night. He rested his hand on the back of her neck. ‘You realise, if I tell you, I might have to kill you or at the very least extract some sort of payment.’
‘I’m willing to take the risk.’
Her husky laugh raced through him like Kirra wildfires. ‘I see you’re the type of woman who likes to live on the edge.’
Her laughter, so freely given, faded quickly and she turned to take a drink, but not before he’d caught a glimpse of stark resignation in her eyes. She turned back and smiled almost too brightly. ‘Right now I’m living for the moment.’ She suddenly lunged at him, her hands finding his ribs and meting out a severe tickling.
Any disquiet he had about her was lost in a sea of mirth and aching ribs. He finally wrapped his arms around her and caught his breath, breathing in the minute traces of her perfume that had somehow withstood the combination of water and mud.
He rested his chin on the top of her head. ‘As a kid, one of my strongest memories of my time on Kirra was coming to North Point. I’d lie in the dunes and watch the turtles lumber up from the sea, digging their nesting holes in the sand and laying their eggs. It was the most awesome sight.’
He chuckled as the memories came back. ‘I used to try and convince the Kirra kids that they shouldn’t eat the eggs and they used to look at me as if I was stark, raving mad. When I came back to Kirra as an adult, one of the first things I did was help get a wildlife programme off the ground that tracks the Olive Ridley turtles.’
She trailed her fingers along the back of his hand, sending his blood pounding.
‘And they gave you the name of turtle man.’
‘That’s right.’
She snuggled closer to him, and shot him a cheeky look. ‘So you’re telling me I can’t serve turtle eggs to Susie and the crew tomorrow night even though that is the one thing I can find without too much trouble?’
He wound a strand of her hair around his finger, rising to her seductive teasing with a bit of his own. ‘Well, you could but there are saltwater crocodiles in the ocean and they’re quite happy to charge up the beach to take a pretty RAN.’
Her squeal of horror filled him with delight.
She turned, resting on her knees and wrapping her arms around his neck. ‘How about tomorrow you shoot me a goose? By the sounds of all the honking there’s a huge flock down on the billabong. I’ll cook it with melaleuca leaves, which will give it a lemon flavour.’
‘Great idea.’ He rested his forehead on hers. ‘I’ve got another great idea.’
‘Have you?’
Her fingers trailed through his hair, coaxing and luring.
‘I have. One that involves a full moon, a fire and a swag.’
Her lips curved upwards in a slow and sultry smile. ‘I like the way you think.’
His banked desire for her flared, reducing all thoughts to ash. But he didn’t need to think with this amazing woman in his arms because he knew exactly what he wanted to do and it started with a kiss.
*
Mia tied off the rubbish bag and headed outside to dump it in the disposal unit. Thunder rumbled teasingly in the distance as it had done for days, and on the horizon a vivid white scar of lightning jagged across the dusk sky. The dry season was coming to an end and the humidity had reached breaking point, but still the rain hadn’t come. Yet.
She mopped her forehead with a small hand towel that rested on her shoulder for that purpose. The wet air gave no relief to the heat and every day she virtually ‘steamed’. Between the humidity, the sandflies and the skin fungal infections, everyone was itchy and scratchy. No wonder they called this pre-wet the ‘troppo’ season. Susie and Jenny had been busy with their ‘strong women’ group and closely monitoring people with depression, making sure they took their medication.
She headed back inside to turn off the lights and head home. Home to Flynn? She glanced at her watch and gave herself a good shake. No expectations, remember. Time meant nothing to Flynn and today he’d been out on the west side of the island. Chances were he’d stay for a campfire meal and some dancing. Besides, her house wasn’t his home, although, for the last few weeks when he’d been in Kirra, he’d been cooking in her kitchen, relaxing on her couch and sleeping in her bed, his arms wrapped snugly around her.
Since their campout they’d only been apart when he’d been working on the other islands. She smiled at the treasured memory of their wonderful two days in the bush. The love-making had been spectacular but her most treasured times had been spending the day gathering and preparing the meal for Susie and company. They’d talked and laughed and cheerfully argued over the state of the coals and how long it took to cook the magpie goose.
It had been a huge success and Susie had even complimented her on her yams. It had been a consolidation time with the indigenous health workers and now they were a solid team. Right now, life was good.
Life is good because of Flynn.
No.
Life was good because she was taking one day at a time and embracing the time she had left before her behaviour became more impulsive, before she struggled for words, before her concentration failed her and she had to give up work and leave Kirra.
Flynn was just for now. Flynn was part of ‘one day at a time’.
She did the final lockdown check and slung her bag over her shoulder.
‘Miss!’
She glanced up to see a young girl running toward her, holding a bundle, and a few steps behind her a man followed, his step brisk, his expression anxious.
Mia hurried over, her brain running through a list of possible medical dramas. ‘Is there something wrong?’
Wide green eyes brimming with tears looked up at her. ‘Can you help?’ The girl shoved the bundle at Mia.
Mia peeled back outer layer of the bundle to find a tiny baby joey nestled inside a pink windcheater. Surprise mingled with awe. ‘Oh. But I’m a nurse, not a vet.’
‘We’re terribly sorry.’ The man spoke. ‘It’s the last hour of our holiday and the plane’s leaving shortly. Megan found the Joey and the store told us there’s no vet on the island so we thought perhaps you could take care of it.’
‘Please.’ Megan put her hands together. ‘I can’t leave until I know he’s going to be all right.’
Mia looked at the young girl’s hopeful expression and her father’s expectant smile. She knew nothing about raising wildlife. The joey wriggled, its brown eyes staring up at her, and something inside her melted. ‘Sure, leave him with me and I’ll do my best.’
‘Thank you so much.’ Relief rushed across Megan’s father’s face. ‘Come on, Megs, we have to catch this plane.’ He caught his daughter’s hand and urged her to walk back to the car.
Meg started to walk away and then turned back, calling, ‘Can I email the clinic and ask you to send me photos?’
Mia nodded and waved, still rather bewildered by the last few minutes.
Just as she turned to go back into the clinic, Flynn’s truck pulled up. He swung out of the vehicle, and walked toward her, a wide smile on his face.
The now familiar streak of delight she experienced every time she saw him spun through her, weaving its promise of magical times.
His arm slid around her waist as his lips stole a kiss. ‘Hello. What have you got there?’ He stared down at the bundle in her arms.
‘A joey.’
‘So I see. They need to be kept tucked up like they’re still in the pouch.’ His tanned fingers nestled the windcheater warmly around the tiny marsupial. ‘Ah, night feeds, twice-daily oiling, pouch changing and weighing.’ He looked up and grinned. ‘I think you just became a mother.’
A mother. Her head spun as her blood rushed to her feet. The two simple words sliced through her with stinging intensity, bringing her real world thundering back. The real world she’d kept at bay these last few weeks with Flynn.
She would never be able to be a mother.
‘Hey, you OK? You’ve gone all pale.’ His fingers stroked her face.
She nodded, taking a moment to find her voice, not wanting him to guess. ‘I’m fine.’ She forced the muscles of her face to smile. ‘It’s just the surprise of it all. I’ve no idea how to care for this little guy.’
‘No problem. I’ve raised a joey before and I’m happy to help. We’ve got infant formula and I’m sure you’ve got something to make a baby sling tucked away in that magic cupboard of yours. The one that produces all sorts of wild and wonderful things.’
He winked at her, his eyes crinkling with a wonderfully, caring smile, tinged with heat. ‘I’ll even share the night feeds with you if you bake me some of that wonderful bread of yours.’
This is what it would be like if you had a child with Flynn.
The wound on her heart tore wide open. She could never have a child. She could never risk passing on the awful mutant gene on chromosome seventeen. Never, ever.
Take one day at a time. Don’t think further than today. With strength she hadn’t known she had, she pushed her pain back down deep, sealing it away and covering it with teasing. ‘I think some fresh bread could be arranged if you do the three a.m. shift.’
‘Three a.m.?’ His brows rose to his hairline in mock effrontery. ‘I was thinking more like midnight.’
‘I guess it depends how much you really want that bread.’ Still protecting the joey, she leaned in and captured his mouth with hers, her tongue quickly stealing his taste and giving some of her own.
His eyes darkened and he cleared his throat. ‘Three a.m. will be just fine.’
She laughed. ‘I thought you’d see it my way.’
His hand tightened on her waist and he steered her toward the clinic. ‘Come on, this is going to be fun.’
CHAPTER NINE
RAIN pounded the windows, running down the glass in huge streams, faster than the wipers could clear the windscreen. The wet had finally arrived and at three o’clock every day the heavens opened, the rain bucketing down hard and fast for an hour and then stopping as abruptly as it had started.
Flynn ran the short distance from the truck to Mia’s back door, but he arrived sopping wet. He kicked off his boots and grabbed a towel from the pile Mia had put by the door. ‘Anyone home?’
‘I’m in here.’ Mia’s voice called from the living room.
He followed the melodic sound and saw her before she saw him. Semi-reclining on the couch with her long, golden legs fully stretched out, she had the pouch nestled against her chest and was feeding ‘Joe’, the bottle tilted confidently in her hand. Joe’s little mouth was sucking overtime, his small cheeks moving inwards while Mia gazed down at him, her expression soft and full of affection.
An image of her holding a baby rocked through him. His baby. He waited for the feeling of abject horror to scald him. It didn’t come.
‘Oh, hi, you’re back early.’ Mia looked up and smiled but then a frown formed three creases on the bridge of her nose. ‘Tell me you didn’t land in this rain.’
‘I keep telling you that planes are safer than cars but, no, I got in just ahead of the rain.’ He leaned over and kissed her. ‘How’s our boy?’
‘He’s doing fine and he’s grown so much in the three days since you last saw him. And he loves it when I hang his pouch on the door and he can watch the world go by.’
‘Excellent. He’ll be ready to have some time out of the pouch soon.’ He chucked the joey under the chin. ‘Ah, kids, they grow up so fast.’
‘You sound like a father.’ Mia put the now empty bottle on the coffee-table and stood up. She headed into the bathroom and helped Joe toilet before she returned to the couch with the little marsupial curled up in his sling pouch, his feet sticking up around his head.
She looked like a serene mother, at one with her role as a nurturer.
Flynn rested his thigh on the top of the couch and ran his hand through Mia’s hair, having missed touching her for the last two nights. ‘Have you thought about it?’
She glanced up at him, her blue eyes vivid and questioning. ‘Thought about what?’
‘About being a mother.’
She seemed to shudder under his hand and he heard a soft gasp.
‘As I don’t plan to get married, I guess that means I’m not going to have children.’
His fingers traced her ear. ‘Many women do it on their own.’
‘I’m not many women.’ She gave him a penetrating look. ‘And I think both of us know what it’s like, missing one parent in the “growing-up” stakes. I wouldn’t wish that on a child.’
‘True.’ But sadness curled around his heart. ‘I think it’s a shame you won’t rethink the marriage thing. You have so much to offer and you’d make a great mother.’
Her brows rose high and her eyes widened in surprise. Then she blinked and cleared her throat. ‘I could say the same thing about you.’
He grinned and deliberately misconstrued her comment. ‘I’d never be a great mother.’
Her mou
th flattened and she pushed Joe’s pouch into his arms. ‘Ha-ha. You know I meant you rethinking the marriage thing. Brooke was one woman.’ She stood up and walked around to him, her hand resting gently on his forearm. ‘I know she hurt you but there are women out there who can make you happy, but you’ll never know if you stay on Kirra. You need to get out there and meet them.’
Why was she pushing this? ‘I have no desire or need to leave Kirra.’ No desire to leave you. The idea socked him hard. The last couple of months had been the most content he’d ever been and he wanted to hold onto that.
He didn’t want to spend time talking about what Mia thought was best for him. He didn’t want her pushing him back to the mainland and the dating scene.
I don’t expect you to marry me, I don’t expect or want anything from you. Mia’s words reinforced his plans. There was no reason for things to change. In fact, he just wanted things to stay exactly the way they were. Easy, relaxed and spectacularly sexy.
He slung Joe’s sling across his chest so the joey rested against his hip. ‘Come on. The rain’s easing. Let’s take Joe and go for a drive to North Point. We can park and watch the sun set.’
She stood in front of him, beautiful and vibrant with an unreadable expression. Then she smiled and stepped into his arms. ‘I’m not sure how I feel about making out in front of an impressionable joey.’
‘I’ll pack him a mask.’ He pulled her close and kissed her.
*
Mia watched Flynn as they drove toward North Point. She could gaze at him for hours, watching how the tendons on his hands rippled over his knuckles, how his innate strength radiated along his jaw, and how his eyes sparkled every time he looked at her.
She wanted to bottle the feeling that sizzled inside her when he smiled so she could keep it for ever. Keep it with her when she left. Or when he left. She knew they were on borrowed time. But she wanted to die knowing he was happy and settled. She wanted him to find a woman to love but each time she brought up the subject he resisted.
And why was he asking her about having children? They were having an affair, pure and simple.
