Hagen crouched next to her. His lips were pressed into a tight line and he huffed angrily from his nose. "Ingrid!" he growled. "When you wound an enemy in battle you leave them there to bleed, not rush to their side."
She turned away as tears welled up behind her eyes. Crying like a baby isn't going to help.
Hagen blew a big sigh of air then said in a soft voice, "You can't have it both ways, Meyla. Either you fight without hesitation or you help the wounded." His voice had lost its anger and he spoke with tenderness. "If you can't do that, you will get yourself killed."
He was right. She hated that he was, but hated herself more for not knowing what to do. It was her first fight; she'd done well and wanted to revel in it. The coppery taste of blood still swirled in her cheeks and the bruise on her jaw ached. Her heart couldn't feel joy. The look on the girl's face before she fell crossed through Ingrid's mind.
How could I do that? What if she'd died? "I was so proud of myself. Scared at first, but then . . . " her voice trailed off. "I thought I was lucky--it was a chance to prove myself." She put her hand over the side of her face, where the swelling made talking difficult. A warming sensation filled her cheek and she pulled her hand away. I deserve the pain.
Hagen rubbed her arm. "You have to decide which way it's going to be."
The concern for her was thick in his eyes. Lowering her gaze to the ground, she answered in a small voice, "I know. I could do it, though. I'm stronger than everyone thinks; faster, too."
Hagen bumped her shoulder. "You did well. I was going to jump in right away, but there was no need."
"Humph," a pleased grunt came from her throat as she let the smile fade.
"Let's go catch up to everyone." He pointed to the red and swollen area on Ingrid's jaw. "You'll have to explain that. Better think of how you'll tell the story."
She nodded, too sore for any more words.
They looked cautiously around the crates before they stood. The boys hadn't followed them. Ingrid pushed up from the ground and winced as her back screamed with the movement. Light danced at the edge of her vision, but she trudged after Hagen. He handed her the shield he'd carried for her. It was light compared to the weight of indecision riding heavy upon her shoulders.
8
When they reached camp Ingrid walked to her tent and went inside without acknowledging Hagen. Images of the fight swamped her thoughts: the vibrations of the mallet as it landed on the girl, the look on her face. Melting to the ground, she pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her face into them. What is happening to me? Hagen's right. I can't fight like a shieldmaiden if I stop to heal everyone afterward. Frustrated, she let out a loud growl and pounded her fist into the hard earth.
"Troubles?" Selby asked as she crawled through the tent door in time to see Ingrid's outburst. "That shield-maker did a great job. I can't believe our shields are so light. Whoa, what's this?" She picked up the mallet and noticed that all the mud wasn't mud. "Is this blood? Did you fight someone for this? I don't remember you saying you were buying a mallet." Selby rubbed her hand over the rust, crimson and blackish splatters on the mallet, pulling some of the stickier spots onto her fingers. Grimacing, she wiped her hands in the dirt and then on the hem of her skirt.
"I didn't. The shield-maker made it for me out of the same wood as the shield. It's lighter and smaller to fit my hand." She watched as Selby turned the mallet over and inspected it, momentarily forgetting about the blood on it. "I got in a fight on the way back." Selby's head snapped up and stared at Ingrid with wide eyes.
"Are you hurt?" She fell down on her knees in front of Ingrid and pushed her hands into Ingrid's hair searching for any signs of injury beyond the bruise on her jaw. Lowering her voice, she sat back on her heels, "Or . . . did you heal yourself already?"
"I didn't get hurt, not bad anyway, just a few bruises. The blood is from the girl I was fighting." Selby gaped at her with eyes so wide they seemed able to fall out. "What? You really can't believe that I might be able to defend myself and walk away with fewer injuries?"
"It's not that," Selby said biting her bottom lip, "It's. Well . . . you've never done it before. That's all. What happened?"
Ingrid relived it all over again as she retold the story. "If Hagen wouldn't have shown up, those boys would have beaten me. I'd be lying in the mud right now. Probably dying." She said it with a blank stare. "What does it mean? Should I have listened to everyone all along and realized I'm not a capable fighter?" She wasn't really asking and Selby didn't answer. "At first Hagen was angry with me. But after he calmed down, he was kind. A little scared for me even, I think. I'd rather he'd stayed angry."
Selby reached over and took one of Ingrid's hands into her own. "He cares about you and he probably is scared. I'm scared for you, too." She sighed and looked into her lap for a minute while they sat in silence. "Something is happening to you, but none of us know what it is. You're changing somehow. Until we know more, I think you should be more careful and maybe," she swallowed hard, "maybe, put aside the shield for a while."
All the air seemed to leave Ingrid's lungs at once like she'd been hit in the stomach. She'd lost Selby's trust and support. The one person who had always believed in her and stood by her side against everyone else. The one person who had promised to train with her, to fight with her. The one person she needed most.
"I need some air." Ingrid stood up and left the tent.
She walked about ten steps when she saw Hagen and Jorg standing alone talking. Hagen's back was to her, but Jorg was standing with his legs apart and his hands balled into fists, as if he were ready to jump into a fight. A warrior's expression on his face, he wore tight lips, flared nostrils, and narrowed eyes. As Ingrid tried to turn and go a different way around them, he called her name. Loud and full of anger.
"Ingrid! Stop walking."
She didn't turn or stop, but picked up her pace a little. Seconds later she was grabbed by the arm and spun around into the angriest face she had ever seen directed at her. Jorg's eyes almost glowed as if they were made of molten iron. Hagen caught up and stood just behind his shoulder.
"Let's talk somewhere more private," Hagen said. The commotion had drawn the stares of several of the men who gawked in their direction. Jorg nodded and kept a hold of Ingrid as he followed Hagen. She tried to pull away as he dragged her along beside him.
"Let go of me, you're hurting my arm."
"No."
Glaring at him, she bit her teeth together so hard she thought one might crack and yanked on her arm to free it. She was rewarded with a tighter grip for her efforts as well as almost tripping on a log she didn't see. When they got to the edge of camp, Hagen walked into the trees until he was sure they were out of earshot. He stopped, Jorg let go of Ingrid, and both boys stared at her.
"Why are you even here?" she yelled at Jorg. "Hagen always treats me like the frail little bird Papa thinks I am, but you. You have no right. This is none of your business." Part of her instantly wanted to take it back. Deep down she was happy that he cared and wanted to keep her safe. But he was wrong, and she wasn't going to show weakness to either of them right then.
"Hagen is my friend. My loyalty to him extends to you," he said through his teeth. Some of the anger dissipated from his eyes, replaced by flashes of what looked like hurt, causing Ingrid to hesitate in her resolve. Hagen glanced at Jorg then back to Ingrid, but didn't say anything. She looked to the ground and took a deep breath. Turning her focus to Hagen, she glared at him.
"We took care of everything already. Why couldn't you leave this alone? There isn't anything else to talk about."
"You're my sister, whether either of us likes it or not some days. That means I will protect you. And right now, the biggest danger to you seems to be you."
"What were you thinking? You buy a shield and a mallet then go trotting off through town by yourself. I guarantee those rats have never had the amount of money between them you spent on your shiny new toys. You're naive and it's going
to get you killed." Jorg spat the words then rubbed at his temples.
Ingrid grimaced and rolled her bottom lip between her teeth before she closed her eyes. She wanted to say she was sorry, that she hadn't thought of it that way, but instead she kept her head down and let the foolishness of her actions go undenied. Too much was happening. Her brain and her heart were a swirl of questions and emotions. Finally, Hagen broke the silence.
"You need to think about what you really want and what you are truly capable of. Like I told you today, if you want to be a warrior you have to always watch your surroundings. You should do that no matter what. But you also can't worry about helping those you hurt. You are caught between two places, Ingrid. Figure out what you want. In the meantime, do not walk around alone." His voice was tender, reminding her of their father. Hagen had grown up while she was still playing like a child. Pressing her lips together to fight the threat of tears, she only nodded. Hagen reached under her chin and made her face him. "Promise me."
"I promise," she said. Her bottom lip trembled slightly, but she kept her face dry.
"This is behind us then. We leave town day after tomorrow, and it won't be too soon." With that he walked back to camp.
Jorg started to follow, but stopped next to Ingrid and leaned down. His lips brushed against her ear when he spoke, causing her knees to slip like sand on the shore. "You are important to me. Not because of Hagen." He said it low enough that Hagen couldn't hear him and then walked away.
The lingering scent of fresh grass and woodsy pine made her heart race in a way that the surrounding forest never had. A rush of heat flashed through her body as she walked back to her tent and found Selby still inside. Her shield and mallet, propped against the side of the tent, cleaned. She apologized to Selby, then told her about the conversation in the woods. Jorg's statement she kept to herself, however.
"You know it's because we all love you, right? We want you safe."
Ingrid made a sound between a grunt and a chuckle. "Hagen's right that I don't notice danger. Everyone has always kept me safe. I need to learn to protect myself. That's why I wanted to be here."
"You'll learn. Don't give up. We'll figure this out together."
"Yeah." A clank of iron meeting iron penetrated through the tent walls. "Sounds like it"s time for the evening meal. I don't think I can get myself killed helping with that." Pushing off the ground, she groaned. The stiffness in her shoulder muscles shouted in protest. One more day and she would be on her way home. Back to where it was safe and boring. Where she belonged.
* * *
After the meal, groups of men sat around the fire talking and laughing while Ingrid and Selby collected trenchers and put away the skause. As punishment for coming on the trip uninvited, it was a fun game to make the young girls servants at mealtime. Klaus told them it was initiation, and the girls acted like it bothered them, but in reality they had fun listening to the bits and pieces of gossip they heard as they moved among the groups.
That night, however, Ingrid kept dropping things or forgetting what she was doing. Her mind jumped from one issue to the next: the strange woman in the street, the girl she fought, the look on that girl's face. More than anything else, her brother's perfect and handsome friend made her mind swirl. She snuck glances at him, and each time she did, his eyes met hers. Why is he always looking at me? Why do I always look to see if he is?
It was dark by the time she sat by the fire to warm up before bed. The flames sputtered, flicking sparks into the air to dance like a hundred happy sprites. The smoke bending in the breeze filled the air with smells of pine and ash.
Selby plopped down next to her. "Great choice of where to sit. Not close enough to seem as if you are trying to be next to him, but in direct line of sight so you can stare at him without having to make it obvious. You are learning well from me, my apprentice."
Ingrid smiled and looked into her lap. "Stop. This is where there was enough room for you as well."
"Uh-huh. Just accept it. It makes life more enjoyable. Take me, for example. I know that at some point, probably soon, Hagen is going to ask my sister to be his wife. While a part of me gags a little, another part of me says--'hey, might as well enjoy the view while it's available.'" She nudged Ingrid and continued, "You, at least, are getting your looks returned. For that, my friend, I envy you."
"You're impossible." She dared another glance and grinned at her knees when she saw the smile returned across the flames. "What do you think it is? We've known each other a long time. Why now? Part of me doesn't feel ready for this, but another part wonders what took so long." She glanced at Selby and they giggled quietly together.
"Well, I don't know. Maybe it's being out here, away from home. The adventure of it all. It's brought out your wild side." Selby laughed and gave Ingrid a slap on the knee. Ingrid let the words settle in her mind. What if that's all this is? He's just caught up in the excitement of the trip. I'm being ridiculous.
Selby kept on talking while Ingrid let the thoughts of Jorg and his intentions toward her bounce around in her brain. More questions came to mind each time she gazed through the yellow and orange glow. In an attempt to clear her head she looked up at the plethora of stars overhead, letting herself become overwhelmed with how small her life was in relation to the heavens. When she brought her gaze back down, she caught a glimpse of someone standing by a tent near the tree line. It was the woman from the street. She motioned for Ingrid to follow her into the trees. A tightness seized Ingrid's chest, but she nodded her acceptance to follow. The woman turned and disappeared into the dark. Ingrid clasped her hand over the amber bead hanging from her brooches. It glowed the same as it had the last time the woman was near.
Interrupting Selby's continued one-sided conversation, "I've got to go take care of some business. I'll be right back."
"Do you want me to go with you? It's pretty dark out there."
"No, I'm fine. I'll hurry." She gave Selby a smile and squeezed her arm as she stood to leave. This time when she looked over at Jorg, she held his gaze when he met her eyes. With a tip of her chin she pointed toward the trees. He raised his eyebrows and looked confused, but excused himself from the group.
Ingrid waited at the edge of the tree line for Jorg to show up. When he did, her breath jumped into her throat and froze in place. He almost walked by but stopped and turned right in front of her.
They stared at each other for a minute without saying anything. Ingrid was so overwhelmed with his presence she couldn't form words. Her heart raced like a squirrel scampering up and down a tree and her hands started to sweat--a good feat since they were ice cold.
Jorg took a step closer to her, his face neutral and unreadable. "Some might think this is a bit inappropriate to meet like this." A hint of a grin tugged at his lips.
Ingrid felt the heat rise from her toes and onto her face in an instant. She let out a nervous chuckle. "I made you a promise and I'm trying to keep it."
"Promise? How's that?"
"You asked that if I ever saw the woman from the street again, I wouldn't go to her without telling you. She's waiting for me in the trees."
Jorg's face instantly turned solemn and wary. He moved in front of Ingrid while he surveyed the tree line. Ingrid had to force herself not to reach up and touch his strong back as it crowded in front of her. "I just wanted to let you know. I'm going to meet her now."
Jorg turned and stared down into Ingrid's face. "No, you're not."
She furrowed her brows and glared at him for a second. "Yes. I am. You're welcome to wait here if you want, but I only told you to keep my word."
More emotions than she could process swirled through his eyes. He cupped her face in his hand. "Please, don't go out there alone." She lost all coherent thought.
Swallowing hard, her heart gained speed. "I have to go. I don't think she means me harm." Somehow she managed to squeak out the words, barely above a whisper. Keeping his hand on her face, Jorg glanced at the ground then back into her eyes,
hesitating at her glowing necklace.
"We have already established that you want to see the good in others whether it's there or not. Your judgement in this can't be trusted."
"That's not for you to decide. I didn't say I thought she was good, I said I was going to find out what she wants to talk to me about. You can wait here for me or not."
Jorg smirked. "You've got a feisty side." Cold like a winter wind blew over Ingrid when his hand dropped away.
"I guess so." Ingrid raised her eyebrows and jutted out her chin with a tight smile.
"I don't agree with this, but I'll be right here. I have excellent vision and hearing, so call to me if you feel the least bit threatened."
She nodded and knew the feelings in her heart had nothing to do with her stowaway adventure. "I will." Stepping around him, she walked into the trees and didn't look back in case she lost her nerve.
The forest reached an intolerable point of darkness. Ingrid was questioning her resolve and considering turning back until the woman stepped out from behind a tree. There was a glow around her that made her easy to see. Unease washed over Ingrid.
"Hello, Ingrid. I've been waiting a long time to talk with you again."
"Again? Who are you?"
"I'm an old friend of your family. We first met when you were only five years old. I am the one who gave you that bead." She pointed to the glowing amber bead in the center of Ingrid's necklace.
"Why haven't I seen you before today? I know you were the woman in the street. Why didn't you come up to me?"
"You have special gifts, Ingrid. You are just realizing them. More and more things will happen that open your eyes to the abilities you hold inside. Embrace them. Not everyone will be happy about what you can do, and you need to be careful who you trust. A beautiful sword cuts as deep as a plain one, do not be deceived. The time is coming, soon, when you will need to help those you love and you must be ready. I will guide you. You must train and learn how to control your powers. Others will try to deceive you and change your path. Guard yourself. We will meet again." She smiled and looked toward camp.
Ingrid, The Viking Maiden (Viking Maiden Series Book 1) Page 8
