It was too late though. Just like it’s too late for me.
“Tatum? Why don’t you try lying down?”
“What was she doing?” I ask.
“What was who doing?”
“My mom. What was she doing that was so bad someone killed her over it?”
Renali sucks in a deep breath and lets it out slow. “I don’t know the specifics. Tessandra told me what she understood, of course. But your mother was hiding so much from everyone. All we really understood was that she had gotten into some dark business with a group of men she met in the underground. That’s all I know. And that she was very scared. And in a hurry. I wish I knew more. For your sake and Tessandra’s. Just like I wish I knew what all you saw that night. But I can’t make you tell me. And you don’t have to.”
“I told you what happened.”
She knits her brows together.
“I told you and Tessandra both what happened when you got there.”
“You told us shadows killed your family.”
“You don’t believe me.”
“Tatum, you were very distraught. Sometimes the mind—”
“Look, I don’t know what killed them. There were shadows, but there were also….they looked like men. But everything was so dark…” My eyes fall on the lava lamp, and the rest of the words stick in my throat.
“Tatum, you can trust me. Anything that—”
“I know you’re trying to help me, but you can’t.” I scoot to the edge of the couch and stand. “No one can.”
She reaches out and lightly touches my arm. “I don’t think you’re crazy, Tatum. I never did. I didn’t want you in that institution. I fought against Tessandra on that. I was afraid you would become blocked and unbalanced from the drugs they force feed you in there. But she was so convinced it was the safest place for you.”
It was. Apparently.
She stands with me. “We need to unpack more of this. I really think it will help. But I understand you have a lot to process right now. I want you to come back in for another session like this one when you’re ready.”
I don’t see how it would be of any help, but I am feeling more clearheaded now.
“Sure,” I say, only because I want to get out of here.
She pats my shoulder and gives me a reassuring smile. “You’re going to be okay. I promise.”
If by “okay” she means I’m going to die…
Chapter Thirteen
Lunchtime comes and goes, and I stay shut away in my stone tent, taking a larger portion of clients than I’m usually willing to take on and doing longer readings as well, just so I don’t have to think. Though part of what’s taking so long is that I can’t focus. Every time I close my eyes, I see red and orange and smell garbage.
I can tell Kalin appreciates the extra help equally as much as it concerns her to see me so willing to work. She throws me confused and worried and grateful glances every chance she gets.
As the sun starts to set, however, I start to regret it. I’m hungry and tired and cranky, and my brain feels sludgy and heavy. Two more people are in the waiting area, but I tell Gretchen I’m done for the day and stretch out over my little round table.
My eyes close before my head hits my arms.
I find myself going over the events of eight years ago again. As much as I hate to admit it, Renali was right. I needed to face what happened that night. There might be something there that will help me out now, especially since I’ve managed to get myself entangled in the same group of people my mother was running around with.
How did things escalate so quickly?
Shepard went from lurking passively in the shadows to confronting me in public. But then again, he has been trying to get me to talk to him for months. Since the very first day I saw him down there.
A little seed of something nags at me from the back of my brain. It probably wasn’t smart of me to hide up here all day.
Did he know I was who he was looking for from day one? Or did I just match the description?
I fish around in the memory for anyone who could pass for Shepard. But there’s nothing. Just shouting and darkness and blood.
No wonder they locked me away.
A girl covered in blood, screaming and ranting about skin getting ripped off. Disintegrating bodies. Shadows moving on their own accord. Life, souls, literally being devoured.
Souls…devoured.
My eyes drift open.
There are things existing in this world…lurking in plain sight everywhere.
Souls…
Shepard’s words slam to the forefront of my mind.
I could live for a decade on that kind of power…
…a pure and beautiful soul…worth a fortune in the underground.
I sit up, exhaustion slipping from my eyes.
No…
My conversation with Shepard at the club hits me at once. And bile flares up into my esophagus. I clap both hands over my mouth.
My main job is in wish fulfillment.
We could really use someone like you to…track them down if they don’t pay.
“What happens if people don’t pay?” I whisper into my palms.
They always pay.
I reach for my phone and check the time. It’s almost seven o’ clock, which means I was dozing off for almost an hour.
How did I not see this sooner?
Everything was laid out in front of me like breadcrumbs drawing me closer to a conclusion I should have seen the instant I looked into Evangeline’s past. It’s all laid out, and I still have trouble getting myself to believe it.
But that man with the heavy drawl…that thing that killed my mother and sister—
The curtain to my tent is suddenly thrown back and Shepard stands in the opening, his hair wind tossed, his smooth skin glistening with sweat.
I stumble from my stool and press my back into the rough stone wall.
He takes two steps into the room and slaps a blank business card down on my table. “Be at this address by midnight.” His breathing is labored as if he ran over here from the cemetery. “Be there, or we’ll come to your house and drag you out by force.” He maneuvers around the table and places his hands on either side of my face, trapping me between his arms. He leans in close, so close his icy breath brushes across my cheeks. “And believe me, you don’t want us to have to come get you.” His voice lowers to a growl. “Because you won’t be the only one we take.”
He steps back, straightens his suspenders, and lets his gaze travel over the small space.
“I don’t have a car,” I manage to say.
His dark, lightless eyes find my face, and he smiles. “You’ll find a way.”
And with that, he leaves, strolling out of the room far more casually than he came in.
On shaky legs, I step over to my table and flip the card.
The address isn’t one I recognize. I’m not even sure it’s in town. Tessandra is not going to let me borrow her car without a damn good reason, especially at night. And I definitely can’t tell her why I need it. Not to mention the fact that I barely even know how to drive.
For a second, I think about asking Renali. I know she will help, but I don’t want to drag her into this.
This is my problem. I have to fix it. Somehow.
My curtain slides back again and I jump.
“Sorry!” Kalin steps into the tent, looking equal parts contrite and concerned. “Are you okay? Did you see something disturbing in someone’s head again?”
Yes, my own.
I shake my head. “No. I…fell asleep. I’m still waking up.”
Skepticism presses into her brows, but she doesn’t push it. “You ready to go?”
“Yeah.” I dump the card into my bag and follow her out.
“Are you sure you’re okay? We shouldn’t have let you drink so much.”
“It’s not the alcohol, and I’m fine.”
She turns to look at me. “I swear, if you say that one more time, I
’m going to punch you in the gut.”
“I’m okay.”
She rolls her eyes, but a small smile passes over her face. “I noticed you didn’t leave for lunch today.” She’s baiting me.
“Oh, I was just too tired to deal with it today.” I want to tell her to never go down there again. But she’s not in any real danger. Not from going down there. Probably just from hanging around me.
Shepard didn’t threaten anyone else, but I don’t feel like anyone’s safe.
She nods and chews on her bottom lip. “Okay.”
The air is chilled outside, feeling colder than it should. The shop door swings open behind us, and Gretchen hurries out, pulling on a woolly cream sweater as she catches up to us.
“Bum a ride back?” she asks. “Mom left already.”
“No.” Kalin flashes her a sardonic smile. “We’re going to make you walk back. It’s just a few miles…in the dark. Alone.”
Gretchen laughs with her but says, “I’ve done it before.”
My heart jerks in my chest. “Why?”
“So have you.” Her eyes widen defensively when she sees my face. “This is Asheville. It’s not like we’re in some mega-giant city or something.” She tilts her head to the side. “Are you okay?”
I can feel Kalin’s eyes burning a hole into the other side of my face. “Yes,” I say, squashing the I’m fine. “There are just…you know. Crazy people. Everywhere.” In the shadows. Just. Everywhere.
Gretchen starts to say something else, but after a quick glance past me to Kalin, she shakes her head, changing her mind.
Silence falls around us as we cross the near-empty parking lot, and a thread of irritation boils into my throat.
“Okay,” I say, stopping by Kalin’s car. “Can we not do this? This walk-on-eggshells-around-the-crazy-person thing?”
Guilt flashes over Kalin’s eyes.
“No one thinks you’re crazy,” Gretchen says. “I just don’t want to aggravate you. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”
“What do you want me to say?” I ask.
Gretchen shrugs and climbs into the back seat. “Anything interesting happen today?”
I clutch my bag tight to my chest, as if any lesser grip would cause the small, plain card to slip from the recesses.
“No,” I say, my jaw clenching.
“The tourists were in rare form today, huh?” Kalin says lightly, beaming at Gretchen in the dusty rearview mirror.
“Yeah…” Gretchen’s voice is much less chipper. “Nadia came in around four. She said her ghost tours are booked three weeks out already. It’s like there’s something in the air that’s making people crazier than normal. She was super excited about it though.”
“Of course.” Kalin’s eyes dart in my direction. “Not that I mind the extra money.”
“Do you know where Hollings Road is?” I ask.
Kalin shakes her head at the same time Gretchen says, “It’s just outside of town, isn’t it? Northwest? It’s that street that goes nowhere, right?”
“Right,” Kalin says. “I think I’ve heard of it. The one that stretches out for a few miles and then there’s a dead end on both sides? Why do you ask?”
“Client mentioned it,” I say.
“Hmm.” Kalin stops her car in front of the row house and cuts off the noisy engine. “What’s for dinner?” she asks Gretchen after we climb out of the car.
“Some kind of chicken kebab.” Gretchen wrinkles her nose as she says this.
“You love kebabs.” I know this for a fact, so I jump on the opportunity to take the focus off of myself.
“Yeah.”
“Uh-oh,” Kalin chimes in. “Tessandra piss you off today?”
Gretchen sighs. “It’s fine.” She stares up at the house, eyes narrowed. “It’s just, this guy asked me out today.”
Kalin’s jaw drops in happy surprise. “Yay! Gretchen! Is it anyone I know?”
Gretchen pinches her lips together and drops her eyes. “I dunno.” She digs her toe into the pavement.
“Well, what’s his name?”
“Thomas.”
“And?”
“He’s seventeen.” Gretchen’s shoulders drop.
“That’s not so bad,” Kalin says. “My first boyfriend was three years older than me. Of course, I was fourteen and stupid, and he was slimy.”
Gretchen lifts her eyes to Kalin’s face. “Thomas isn’t slimy. He’s in AP classes and speaks fluent Japanese.”
“Ooh, is he Japanese?”
“No. He’s white.” Gretchen’s voice is kind of clipped as she says this.
Confusion presses between Kalin’s eyes. “Um. Okay? Tessandra doesn’t want you dating a white guy? Because your dad is a deadbeat and all?
“No, she doesn’t want me dating at all.”
“Ah.” A sympathetic smile rolls across Kalin’s face. “She didn’t embarrass you, did she?”
Gretchen throws her back against Kalin’s car and crosses her arms over her chest. “What do you think?”
“Oh, no, what happened?” Kalin asks.
Gretchen gives me a questioning look, as if to ask if it was okay for her to be upset.
“Tell us what happened.” My voice is soft with squashed emotion. I only wish I could have had these kinds of problems at fifteen. Normal teenager problems. Grief and envy weigh heavily on my heart.
Gretchen sighs again and turns her eyes back to the ground. “He comes into the shop. He’s been coming in for a while after school. Sometimes I get to talk to him for a few minutes before Mom shoves me in a corner with something boring and unnecessary to do.” Her bottom lip quivers. “So, he comes in today and asks if I can go grab a coffee with him. Mom was standing like two feet away, and when she hears him, she comes over and says, ‘I think you need to leave. She is too young for you.’” Her eyes well up with tears.
Kalin quickly covers her smile and pulls Gretchen into a hug. “Oh my god, sweetie, I’m so sorry.” She pats Gretchen’s back. “I remember when I was your age. That would have killed me.”
“Right!” Gretchen sobs onto Kalin’s shoulder. “Why did she do that? There are so many other ways to get her point across without kicking him out and embarrassing me. What is so wrong with grabbing coffee? It’s not like he pulled out a bunch of condoms and asked me into his back seat!”
A sad smile touches my face. Real teenager problems.
“How am I supposed to go in there?” Gretchen says, straightening up and gesturing towards the house. “I can’t look at her right now.”
Kalin rubs her back and steers her towards the driveway. “How about this? I’ll tell Tessandra that we’re having a girl’s night, in my room. We’ll watch some chick flicks. I’ll bring your food.” She glances at me over her shoulder, and I nod.
“Yeah, it’ll be fun.” Or not. I can’t remember the last time I watched a “chick flick” and enjoyed it.
Kalin goes into the house first to clear the way, and Gretchen and I head up to my room. She pouts on the edge of my bed while I dig through my bag for my phone and that card. A quick look at my messages shows me that I missed nine calls and have twenty unread texts. I sit my phone face down on the windowsill. I can’t even deal with that right now.
I need to figure out how I’m going to get out of this house early enough to get to Hollings Road by midnight, however far away that is. I pick my phone back up and type the address into the GPS. Walking directions say one hour and fifteen minutes.
My heart sinks. I squint at the clock across the room as if it’ll tell me a different time from my phone. Well, I have almost three hours to leave the house. Which wouldn’t be quite so difficult if everyone didn’t think I was scared of the dark.
And that’s kind of true.
I’m definitely not thrilled about walking around alone in the middle of the night, surrounded by darkness and shadows.
“I feel stupid for blubbering like this,” Gretchen says, sniffing away some of her tear
s. “I know I don’t have real problems.”
I sit my phone back on the sill. “No, don’t feel stupid. You’ll probably laugh about this in a few years, but it’s definitely not funny now.”
I would love to have an embarrassing memory like that.
“What was she thinking?” Gretchen asks, wiping her eyes on the collar of her shirt.
“Your mom is very overprotective.” And with good reason. “She has no filters though. I can’t count the number of times she’s confronted me about something in front of the entire shop.”
Gretchen hiccups and a half smile lights up her face. “She’s really bad about that, isn’t she?”
“Oh yeah.” I manage a bigger smile for her. “So, at least you’re not the only one.”
She hiccups again. “That helps a little bit. But I’m never going to be able to look at Thomas again. Assuming he ever comes back into the store.”
“He might.”
“I don’t know what’s worse.” She sniffs and rakes the back of her hand across her eyes. “Him coming back or never coming back. I want both at the same time.” She drops her hand into her lap and wrings her hands together. “I just want her to stop treating me like I’m still ten years old.”
“I know the feeling,” I say.
Gretchen watches me for a moment. “I never understood that.”
I meet her steady gaze. “What?”
“I never understood why she jailed you like this.”
“She was just trying to keep me safe.” But it was all for nothing, wasn’t it? Because I was certainly determined to find trouble. Or at least help it find me. Just so I could stop feeling smothered—the exact kind of feelings my mom was having before she got everyone killed and ruined my life.
“Safe from what?” Gretchen’s voice is harsh with anger towards her mother, another thing I can relate to. “It’s not like there are brain-eating zombies or axe murderers outside.”
I try to smile again, but it feels more like a grimace. “Oh no. Definitely not.” It’s definitely worse.
“I’m glad you don’t have a curfew anymore,” Gretchen says.
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