“Hey, Stefi.” He smiles, blue eyes twinkling, before he disappears into the walk-in fridge.
“You don’t look so good, Miss Stefi.” Fernando shakes his head, concerned. “Have you eaten lunch? Can I make you something?”
“Nah, not hungry.” I smile weakly. “Just here for coffee.”
I fiddle with the machine, pouring the dark liquid into my reusable cup and adding a healthy dose of cream. I stir the concoction furiously, creating a whirlpool.
Fernando watches me. “But it’s after 3pm. You’ll waste away to nothing!”
I laugh at his shocked expression. “I’m okay, I promise.”
“Mi bella, I am not taking no for an answer.”
Before I can protest, Fernando ushers me into the empty staff dining room. He positions me in front of a table and presses on my shoulders firmly. “Sit!”
I sit.
“Now, I will be back shortly with some pasta for you. Si?”
“Si.” I nod, shifting in my chair. Fernando can be particularly persuasive when he wants to be, I don’t appear to have much of a choice. And, if I’m being honest with myself, he’s right. When was the last time I ate? Yesterday?
All I know is that I miss making meals with Cooper, miss bumping hips with him as we move around the kitchen. I loved to sing at the top of our lungs as we chopped garlic and vegetables, and added spices to bubbling pots.
Satisfied that I’m not going to do a runner, Fernando bustles back to the kitchen, whistling off-key. I check my work phone — nothing. No new messages. But Cooper never texts me anymore. If he needs something, he writes it on the shopping list in the penthouse.
Like I’m a stranger.
When Fernando returns from the kitchen, he’s carrying a steaming bowl of tortellini. The delicious smell makes my stomach growl. I guess I am hungry.
As I tuck into the pasta, I’m aware that Fernando is staring at me. My cheeks flush under his gaze, and I offer him what I hope is a breezy smile. “Thanks, Fernando. This is so good!”
“But you are not good.” Fernando gets straight to the point, his brow furrowed.
I flounder for a moment, trying to think of what to say, scrambling for an excuse. But, is there any point in lying?
“No.” I set down my fork. “I’m not.”
“What is happening, mi bella? You’ve been so happy all summer, so cheerful. And now, so sad.”
I swallow painfully. I’m not ready to talk about what happened with Cooper. But looking in Fernando’s kind eyes, I know that I can at least tell him about my problems with my essay.
“I’m just stressed,” I say before filling him in on the story behind my college admissions essay. I tell him about the disappointing feedback I received from Mrs. Higgins before the summer, and about her challenge for me to get out of my comfort zone and experience new things.
“And when does this essay need to be finished, Miss Stefi?”
“Early admission deadline at Harvard is November first.”
“November?” Fernando’s moustache wobbles and his voice goes up an octave. “This is months away — months!”
I blush. “Yes, but I’ve been working on it for months already. November will be here before I know it. I haven’t spent nearly enough time working on it this summer.”
“But you had fun this summer. I saw how much you smiled.”
“And here I am, two and a half months later with no essay to show for it.”
Fernando places his hand on top of mine. “Mi bella, do you ever stop to think that life is about the journey, not the destination? If you are only focusing on hitting your goals, the only person you disappoint is yourself.”
“And my parents, my teachers—”
“But is this what they want for you?” Fernando interrupts. “Is this really what they expect of you?”
“I...” I start to protest, but no words come.
Ever since Sophie got sick, I’ve worked night and day to be perfect at all times. But Fernando’s question throws me for a loop. Who have I been working so hard for — was it for my parents and teachers? Or did I just come to expect these things of myself? And then get down on myself when I didn’t fulfill my own impossible goals?
“Miss Stefi, you put too much pressure on yourself,” Fernando continues gently, patting my hand with his warm palm. It’s a strangely comforting, grounding gesture. “The people who love you — they don’t want you to be perfect. Nobody’s perfect. They want you to be happy.”
Tears well in my eyes at Fernando’s words. I’m speechless. Could he be right?
He smiles. “I think you need to stop thinking about what you believe everybody else wants from you, and instead think about what you really want. What makes you happy.”
I stare at my empty bowl while I chew over his words. I’ve never thought about things this way. Have I ever really considered my own happiness? Have I ever thought about fighting for what I want, and not what I believe everyone else expects from me?
No. Not until I met Cooper.
And even then, I was so worried about getting everything right — following Mrs. Higgins’ advice — that I overlooked what was truly important. I never stopped to realize that I couldn’t arrive at my destination without the journey.
A journey that’s meant to be enjoyed, savored, lived to the fullest. Like how I felt when I was with Cooper.
My heart starts pounding and I scramble to my feet. “Fernando, I have to go. Thank you so much for lunch!”
The chef laughs. “Anytime, mi bella!”
I race back to my cabin and throw myself onto my desk chair. I open my notebook to a fresh page and my pen hits the paper. I hold what my heart desires at the top of my mind as the words appear on the page.
Finally. I know what I really want.
Each sentence is an inked declaration of truth, a window into the essence of who I am. The real Stefi Clark.
Also known, to some, as Stef.
38
Cooper
“Action!” Dad yells, leaning forward in his director’s chair.
The buff, bare-chested man grabs the beautiful woman, circling his arms around her waist and pulling her close. “Don’t worry, Raven—”
“CUT!” Dad shouts, shaking the script in his left hand. The actors immediately stop what they’re doing and turn towards my father. Kade Monroe, for being a top movie star, can be something close to terrifying when producing a film. The actors are all, literally, shaking in their boots.
“Helena, get your head in the game. Raven is in love with Samson, for goodness sake!” Dad thunders. “Let’s see some emotion on that face.”
Beside me, Brody stifles a laugh, and I snort with laughter too. We’re sitting together at the back of the set, drinking cold coffee supplied by the movie caterers. While Brody checks his phone, I keep my eyes trained on Dad as he approaches the actors and gives them guidance on the scene. His hands wave animatedly and the actor nods his head in understanding. The actress, meanwhile, frowns and then asks Dad a question, which he promptly answers.
Watching Dad work has been a fascinating experience. I never thought I’d enjoy being on a film set, but since giving Stefi her space and coming to work with him, I realize how much goes into producing movies. I actually enjoy being in the heart of it all, and helping out on set when they need me. Despite the fact that I still can’t get Stefi off my mind, this is the perfect distraction.
It’s been days since Stefi and I broke up. I’ve heard her bustling around and cleaning in the mornings, but I wouldn’t dare venture out to talk to her. It would be too awkward. Too painful a reminder of everything I wanted that wasn’t to be.
“I’m headed back to LA tomorrow,” Brody says, snapping me from my reverie.
“So soon.” I bite the inside of my cheek, speaking for myself as much as for Brody. In only a couple short weeks, summer will be over and I’ll be back in LA, too.
“It's been real, little bro.” Brody smiles at me and I’m remi
nded of a simpler time. Back when we were kids and only had each other, back when we would spend all day playing together.
I offer him a small smile. “Thanks for coming, Brody.”
“Shuddup.” He nudges me in the ribs playfully. “Don’t get soppy with me.”
This time, I smile wide. This is almost… nice.
Brody gets to his feet. “I’m gonna scope out the minibar, see what I can wrangle.”
I refrain from rolling my eyes. No matter what our current truce may be, Brody will always be Brody. I pick up my phone as he walks away and, for about the millionth time in the past few days, my heart sinks.
No messages from Stefi. I wish I could text her, but I don’t know what to say. I don’t even know if she wants to hear from me.
“Hey, Coop.” Dad sinks into Brody’s empty chair. “How are you and your brother doing?”
“Good. He’s gone to get, uh, a drink. How’s the scene?”
Dad groans and runs a hand through his hair, making it stick up on end like mine always does. “Don’t ask. I told everyone to take five to regroup. But we’ll get there.”
“I know you will.” I smile, my words sincere.
He faces me, his eyes serious. “You holding up okay? I’m so sorry to hear about you and Stefi.”
“I’ll be okay, Dad. Summer’s over soon, anyway.”
“Yeah, speaking of that.” Dad clears his throat and reaches into his blazer pocket. He produces a sheet of paper and hands it to me. It’s a flight order for our family jet, for a flight leaving Bozeman tomorrow.
There are two passenger names on it — Brody’s, and mine.
“What’s this?” I ask.
“Coop, I’ve loved having you here this summer, but I know that you’re desperate to get home and back to your real life. Being grounded and forced to hang out with your old man in Montana sucked, I’m sure.” He smiles self-deprecatingly but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “You’ve well and truly earned an early escape.”
“It hasn’t sucked, Dad,” I say seriously, meaning every word. “It’s actually been really nice to spend time with you. To get to know you better.”
Dad’s green eyes grow a touch misty and he smiles sadly. He reaches out to cover my hand with his. “Likewise, kiddo. You know that I love you, right?”
My heart swells with appreciation for my dad, and I nod.
“I’m sorry that I haven’t always been there for you,” he continues sadly. “But you are welcome to stay with me, anytime you like. It’s been wonderful spending time with you at Legacy this summer, and I’ve loved having you on set. You know, I’ve seen the way you work and help out around here. You could have a real future in film. And I’d be happy to teach you anything you want.”
My eyebrows shoot up. Dad wants to teach me how to work on set? He trusts me?
“But if you don’t want to learn film, that’s fine too,” Dad says hurriedly, misinterpreting my silence. “I’d like to be more involved in your life, if you’ll let me. You’ve grown so much this summer, son, and I am so proud of the man you’re becoming.”
Dad pats me on the shoulder gruffly, but his voice is thick with emotion and pride. Pride for me — Cooper. The screw up.
Hearing that Dad believes in me fills me with a new sense of purpose. For the first time, I realize that I don’t have to be defined by my past, I can be defined by my future. And my future is in my hands. Maybe the mistakes I made don’t have to cancel my dreams and wishes. I can still amount to something — someone — great. Someone my father can be proud of. Someone I can be proud of.
“Thank you, Dad. I’d like that. All of it.” I smile at him, my own eyes a little misty.
Dad’s grin is a mile wide. “I’m going to be based in Montana for the foreseeable future, but maybe you can visit over Thanksgiving? Or, I can take a week off and come to LA—”
“Sorry to break up the love fest, fam,” Brody interjects, appearing out of thin air with a can of diet coke. Guess the minibar didn’t have anything alcoholic. He peeks over my shoulder at the flight order on my lap. “Coop, you’re coming with me tomorrow? That’s rad.”
“Yup.”
But my heart sinks. What’s the matter with me? Escaping — flying home — is what I’ve been waiting for all summer.
Now, it feels like the last thing I want to do.
Dad’s five-minute break comes to an end and he returns to the crew, jumping right into an animated exchange with one of the camera operators. I can’t help but smile as I watch him. We’ve had a tough relationship over the years, but for the first time in a long time, I feel proud to call Kade Monroe my father.
Everything that happened this summer was completely unexpected, but I’m grateful for the way things worked out. Though I’m heartbroken over Stefi, I wouldn’t change getting closer to my Dad — or meeting her — for the world.
“Still moping over that girl, Coop?” Brody smacks my shoulder. “Move on already. Tomorrow night, we’ll be back in LA — me and you, baby. Sun, sand, surf, decent Korean food. Plus, Sanderson’s having another party on Thursday. Lila will be there.”
I sigh, not looking forward to anything Brody mentioned. Save for the food. “I guess.”
“That’s the spirit. I knew I did the right thing with that summer girl of yours.”
My blood turns ice cold.
“What did you just say?” I hiss.
He shrugs. “Easy, bro.”
“Did you say something to Stefi?” My voice is strangled. I should’ve known that Brody would get involved somehow.
“Cool it, Coop.” He rolls his eyes and stands, his smile faltering. “You should be thanking me.”
“What did you say to her?”
“The truth. That a guy like you and a girl like her — well, it’s the kind of thing that’s cool for a summer. But it’s never going to work for real. You two are from different worlds. I mean, you’re Cooper freaking Monroe, and she’s nothing. Nobody.”
Different worlds...
Those are the exact words that Stefi used when we broke things off. She made it sound like she thought that we would never work after the summer. But was there something else to it?
I register Brody’s smirk and my stomach lurches. Next thing I know, I’m on my feet, squaring up to him. “Stef is not nothing. She’s the kindest, sweetest, most amazing person I’ve ever met. Ever.” Rage floods my body and my fists clench. I can’t stop myself now. “Did you tell her that? That we could never work because we’re from different worlds?”
“Calm down,” Brody says out of the side of his mouth, looking around. He places a palm against my chest, but I swat it away.
“NO!” I yell, the anger bubbling over like a volcano. “I’m sick of you screwing everything up for me. I take the fall for you, and instead of apologizing, you’re still telling me who I need to be and how I need to act. I’m not you, Brody, I’m nothing like you. And I’m thankful for that.”
The words run fast and free. It’s what I’ve felt, what I’ve known to be true, for so long. But I could never vocalize any of it.
“You don’t care about me, you only care about yourself. And the fact that you dared say anything to Stefi confirms that. You might have Stanford, and straight A’s, and our parents wrapped around your little finger, but at least I have a shred of integrity.”
I’m out of breath, my fists clenched by my sides and my blood boiling. But telling the truth, finally saying to Brody what I should’ve said years ago, feels liberating.
He stares at me, open-mouthed and lost for words — for once. I’m vaguely aware that the set has gone completely silent. Before anyone can speak, I turn on my heel and walk away.
39
Stefi
Cooper once asked me if I wanted to jump.
Until that moment, I’d never considered whether I wanted to jump or not. I’d just done what I’d always done, and weighed up the pros and cons. I considered what would look best to my teachers, my parents, my coll
ege admissions officers, my friends. I let them be the deciding factors. But I’d never thought about what I wanted.
And when I’d considered Cooper’s question, it gave me pause. But I knew, deep down, what I wanted. Every single self-preservation instinct in my body screamed no, but I said yes. I made a decision to leap out of a plane, and I let myself fall.
It was the most terrifying thing I’ve done in my life. But it was also the best decision I ever made.
Why? Because it taught me to step out of my comfort zone. To take a risk and trust that everything will be okay.
Today, I’ve decided to put my heart on the line and jump again. I’m going to take another risk, knowing that the outcome may not be what I want it to be. But, I know what I need to do now.
Cooper is worth it.
When my alarm goes off at 6am, I’m already wide awake and ready for whatever today may bring. I jump out of bed, get dressed, and run out of the door. I stride towards the penthouse with purpose, clutching a sheaf of papers in my hand.
As I walk into the elevator lobby, Greg looks up from his game of Candy Crush. I give him a huge smile. “Good morning, Greg.”
“Mornin’ sunshine.” He tips his hat to me. “What are you doing here?”
I tilt my head. “Hmm?”
Greg checks his clipboard and frowns. “You have today off.”
I peer at him before breaking into laughter. “I do? I must be losing my mind!”
I shake my head, amazed at my own oversight. I’d spent all night working on my essay, letting the words flow onto the page, and then perfecting them. I couldn’t be happier with the end result. But, with everything going on, I never checked my schedule for today.
Greg smiles. “No worries, Stefi. You’re back on the clock tomorrow, so enjoy your day off.”
I clutch the papers in my hand, weighing my options. If I don’t do this now, I might lose my nerve. “Mind if I go up and leave something for Cooper?”
“Sure, hon. You actually just missed them. The boys went out with Kade to spend their last day together before the flight later.”
The Complete Legacy Inn Collection: Four Sweet YA Romances Page 47
